General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[WinterBub]

Yes, you're right. I'm 35, so just getting into "advanced maternal age". I asked to have the baby karyotyped. My insurance is meant to cover the cost of it, as this was my second consecutive loss... But am gearing up to have to fight for that once the bill comes in. Thank you for sharing your MMC story- nightmare timing in top of the actual loss. I'm so glad you got your rainbow baby shortly thereafter! Good reminder to be thankful for small mercies, like the fact that you knew before leaving. I've been very thankful that I have my 2yo through all of this. He's hilarious, and knows how to lighten the mood.

I hope that your OH takes the big reveal well! I love those kind of inside jokes. It makes it cute and personal And very cute that your son wants a little sister. I hope you get a little girl. Will you find out? I have a friend due with her third in March, she has two boys already and I think will find out the gender of hers at her next appt.

Thank you, Flueky. I really like my dr in some ways, but she's not much into the emotional side of things! So, that's certainly a part of it. I booked in with the RE today, so will at least hopefully do some basic blood tests etc. I'm sure all of this feels so dramatic in the moment, but will be quickly "forgotten" if I get lucky in the not too distant future. How lovely for your girls to grow up together- I had a friend growing up who was the youngest of 3 girls. Her house was honestly so fun. I think because there were so many girls, they were all tom boys and just didn't care about being dainty. Kind of the opposite of what people probably expect from 3 girls!

 

[DobbyForever]

Pretty omfg that line is just stunning! I’m so thrilled for you and loving the line porn! I agree, SO should know first outside of us. And ugh I’m so sorry about your phone! I feel that struggle. Can’t wait to hear more details on how the reveal goes!

Shae sorry work has been overwhelming. That’s great that you and SO have ironed out the kinks. It’s always tough adjusting to living together. How’s the roomie?

Winter welcome! Not weird at all! You’re so sweet. I am so sorry for your losses. I’m glad that you’re getting a second opinion. I hope that your sticky bean finds you soon.

Sorry for being quick. Running around like mad. Need to leave to pick up A ten minutes ago. Had a major issue at work today. Exhausted.

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Winter - Ya, already having a LO at home when I went through a loss really did help. And ya, I'm gonna find out. I bought a SneakPeek test kit a few months ago. I believe you're supposed to wait til you're 8 weeks along, but I'll probably do it just before I hit 2nd tri. Also, I'm just realizing I don't think I offered condolences for your losses. Sorry about that and sorry for them. How're you feeling today?

So, phone is all fixed and good as new. And when I was going through all my unread notifications, I saw that I had a missed call from my local midwife clinic. By the time I saw it, they were closed, but I'm gonna call as soon as they open tomorrow. I checked my spam folder for an email and there was one saying congrats and call us to answer a few more questions. So, hopefully that means they're gonna take me as a patient again. FX.
Ok, so, the reveal. I was able to pull off the food surprise sans phone. When we sat down to eat, SO asked what the occasion was and then joked that it was cuz I don't trust him in the kitchen. I waited til the end of the meal to circle back and was like "so, you know how you asked if there was a special occasion..." and he looked at me and goes "fuuuuuck, seriously? Fuuuuuck..." but all with a smile on his face. So, not mad, but a little bit in disbelief. But like, our last 2 BDs were unprotected and he's well aware I want another kid. I dunno if he thought it would take a while to conceive, but whatever. He knows and all is well. I also told my friend who asked me about TTC the other day and she's all excited. She's also hoping to start trying for her 2nd this month. So, hopefully we'll have overlapping pregnancies again.

Final FRER.

 

[shaescott]

Pretty I’m glad the reveal went well!

Dobs the roomie is good, no issues.

AFM long post coming as I process my thoughts by typing them lol. I’m CD12 and spotting and I don’t know why. My OPK today was negative, so was yesterday’s. My CM has been creamy with a hint of EW lately. I keep forgetting to take my temp until after I’m already awake and up and it’s too late so hopefully I can get better at that for tracking purposes. I know I spotted a tiny bit CD10-11 last cycle but not this much, it was like a little blood streak here and there, this is pink-red spotting like if I was about to get my period. It could be the same thing as whatever happened last cycle, though. I am such a data person in that I wish I could have a monitor that tells me every single one of my blood levels of every substance and hormone and literally everything cuz I want to know what my estrogen is doing right now. Tempted to get that fertility device that measures your estrogen changes tbh. All I know is that I want my estrogen to rise more quickly than what it’s been doing. I drank a LOT last night and my stomach is still a little off so it’s possible the alcohol could’ve done it but I read that in large amounts it temporarily increases your estrogen, increasing estrogen wouldn’t cause spotting, decreasing estrogen would. I mean, I suppose since it’s temporary the drop back down could cause it, but if I wouldn’t normally spot at that normal estrogen level, would the drop back down to it actually make a difference? Like, is it purely the change or the specific amount of estrogen? I do not know. Last cycle I thought the spotting was related to ovulation and then I didn’t ovulate until CD22, so clearly it was not. So I assume it’s likely not related to ovulation, unfortunately, because I BD’d on CD10 and I would be thrilled to ovulate by CD15. As always, I’m down to be pregnant as soon as God sees fit. Anyway my stomach is bugging me from last night’s drinking so I’m going to lie down and not think about alcohol.

 

[WinterBub]

Glad the big reveal went well! Men can be hilarious... If you've had multiple children already, you should probably know how this all works lol! Although in saying that, having a child was a real eye opener for me. I knew not much at all re: my body before then, apparently. Almost embarrassingly so. Hope you're feeling well, and everything keeps running smoothly!

Shae- could the spotting be because you're ovulating? Seems that can be a thing. To return to the above... Years before I had my LO I would get "period cramps" a couple of weeks after my period. I kept thinking it was weird, but it never clicked that I was ovulating. Lol, I'm an idiot. But... That's what came to mind first re: your post as it is a semi reoccurring thing. Are you due for an annual check up any time soon?

AFM- nothing exciting going on. Found out it will take 2 months to get the karyotyping results. That's probably a good thing- I'd like to have those results before trying again, so that will slow my roll. id also like to lose some weight, but thats proving tough. I'd like to drop 15-25lbs. I've put 15lb on since my first MC in March. My friend found out she is having boy #3. I reacted super positively as I know she wanted a girl, and assume it stings to hear people say anything negative. I'm trying to word a text that says something about how it is fine to be happy and a bit disappointed at the same time, by can't quite word it right.

Any update on the guy and his ex, Dobby?

 

[shaescott]

Winter sorry the results are going to take so long. It’s too bad your friend didn’t get the gender she wanted, but I’m sure she’ll love her 3rd little boy. That’s hard I bet, because she was hoping for a girl and that dream was crushed, but at the same time it’s still a baby and you’re going to love it no matter what because it’s your baby.

I’m 99.99% sure the spotting is not related to ovulation. I’ve been doing OPKs the past 3 days at least and they’ve all been negative, and my temp is pre-O range.

 

[DobbyForever]

Pretty - lol well we know he knew it was happening. Guys are funny. I’m glad that you were able to sort things out and have the reveal you wanted. Can’t wait for your sneak peek test!!! Loving that frer! Hoping your midwife has capacity for you and how fun would that be to have a pregnancy buddy! Sorry! The timing would be great but financially just not there. Would have loved to be preggo buddies again

Shae yay for no drama with the roomie! I feel you though. No idea what caused the spotting if it’s not O related though. Every cycle though is just that much more prepared

Winter I’m so sorry. That’s always tough when people around you are announcing. I agree. Just go positive and find people you can vent to. Like us! It’s great that you’ve jumped in. I’d personally lean not telling them it hurts unless she’s really pushing stuff in your face. Are you seeing the announcements via social or is she talking to you directly? I find I have to snooze some people while they’re preggo. Or I just respond happy then screen shot and cry to my besties/ you ladies. Biggest hugs. So sorry the results take so long! 2 months?! Best of luck with the weight lose.

AFM I logged into my online profile on Fri/Sat to check what was out there, and he and I were still matched. But Sunday I went on to delete it, and he was gone from my list. I don’t know if he unmatched me or deleted it, but we’re done. I had a lot of good advice that even when she ultimately breaks his heart because people don’t change that he’s shown his character. He did make a comment about getting back with her just because he’s over dating and wants to be married, which was a huge red flag. I was already on yellow from some thing he had said about his past but like nah bro. Nah. I’m just going to focus on A and me. God knows I have too much going on with A’s evals for SPED preschool and work. But I was having a convo and realized that ultimately I want a kid by 35, and I don’t know that I could find a guy by then that I trust enough to have a baby with. so I’m back to really considering donor. And my ovaries are like giiiirllll if you did it rn it’d be great timing lol. But no. I’m broke af. Did I mentioned my mom loaned me money to buy a new oven but I spent it on food instead? That level of broke hahaha. What’s worse my friend was like CA stimulus and I’m like who $500! JK I apparently make too much money… … …. but damn this year at work is like me dealing with stuff way above my pay grade

 

[DobbyForever]

So... ladies.. I screwed up LOL

Remember when I was like eff my birth control, I want a baby next year? So I was in happy no bd land living my best life, and who pops up but hottie mchottie VI. We tried gloving up, but it just wasn't vibing. I told him I wasn't on my bc anymore, our illogical mid sex selves decided to just do pull out..... I can hear you all going "Oh, Dobby... nooo...."

Round one was fine, he pulled out in time. Cut it a little close and ended up getting it on my bed versus stomach TMI lol. Wouldn't even stress it though. But in a rookie move, he was still good to go and I was a little insatiable... a short lived bj later and he's inside of me again. But this time it gets dicey because I was really enjoying it, and he really wanted to get me off because I never get off. He pulls out, and I definitely felt leakage. And I know I was close but it definitely felt like semen. He said he "doesn't think" he came and I didn't get anything on my bed or me... so idk if the leakage was like he failed and finished inside of me or if it was just me. But then before I could say anything he was back inside of me and does anyone think logically with a p in their v? So yeah we just went til I finished and he definitely did not finish a third time.

Obviously reckless so to ease my mind I went digging in my closet for my stash. Found an expired CVS test that was both opened and expired LOL but I also found a couple CB sticks and wondfo. So naturally I did all three and they were definitely positive. Which I honestly did not expect because I just stopped my pills like less than two weeks ago? And when I o, it's usually closer to three weeks. Talk myself down, blame the fact these tests have been in a hot a* closet forever. One's legit expired. But then I temped this morning and I'm 98.3 (but I only slept about 3.5 hours), and my tests are positive but lighter. And now I'm like up s* creek panic mode. The top opks were last night and the bottom are this morning. The peak was from fmu because I couldn't find the actual holder last night and yolo-ed it with just the stick.

I texted him to tell him that i need to talk to him so we'll see what he says. I'll probably swing by the pharm after work.

TLDR should have stayed on my pills because I'm a horn dog, don't trust a guy you don't know well to pullout, and I'm worried that I ovulated yesterday.

 

[shaescott]

Dobby omgggggg ahhhhhh

 

[Flueky88]

Dobby omg! I lose all logic during O time, so I can relate LOL. In any case, hoping for the best outcome for you. Whatever that may be.

Winter I'm sorry it's going to take so long to get results. I hope you get your rainbow baby soon.

Pretty what a lovely frer and how your reveal went well.

Shae sorry about the unusual spotting. Hope O isn't too late this time.

Sorry for short and sweet responses. Been a busy return back to work life and we are preparing for our survey from our accreditdating body next month. I've also had some denials for hospice services and I had no idea how much money was reimbursed for the hospice house. It is a big deal to not win the appeal. I also have limited hospice knowledge so it's tricky to me but have had to get assistance from others more familiar with the rules and regulations.

Also still been working on a few details with our home like curtains and curtain rods. So just overall tired and busy. We do have internet now and it's quite fast. The speed varies but I often see it near or above 200mbps. When you lived with 10mbps for 8 years it seems lightning fast.

 

[WinterBub]

What a night. Lol. Sounds like fun!! If I'm not too late in posting this- I wouldnt tell him about the OPKs. I suspect that that would just freak him out, and isn't worth the drama at this point. I hope the outcome either way is what you would want! And lol, I agree with Flueky about those O hormones

Also, well called to write off the guy with the ex.

Shae- I forget that you probably know x10,000 what I do re: how all this ovulation etc stuff works. Hope you find an answer to the spotting. When will you officially start trying?

Pretty- hope all is going along well with the pregnancy. Have you told anyone else in real life now? when will you have your first ultrasound/appointment?

Flueky good luck with your work survey. What is it that you do exactly? (if you don't mind sharing details!). How much work are you doing on your house? I love a good decorating project. I also weirdly love having to work out how to get something I want at a low price! We got a quote for shutters, which I would love but it was ridiculous. So we went with IKEA rods and off the shelf curtains, and it all came out pretty nice.

No, I'm not hurt that my friend announced her gender. We were due 3 weeks apart, so bummed not to be bump buddies. But I'm not upset at all- it's not as if our situations are linked if you know what I mean. I'm excited to see her new baby when the time comes my comment was about the fact that I know she has some degree of gender disappointment. I know she's thrilled to be having this baby, and all of that. But she has had a dream girl name picked out (didn't find out the gender for the first two but did this time, so had that girls name ready to go for years at this point etc) and I think was convinced that this one was a girl. So am still mulling over whether to say that I get being 99% happy, but that 1% let down is fine... Or just leave it totally alone.

And I had a question- anyone have tips about opks? I see you have quite the stash, dobby! I would just like to see if I can pinpoint when I ovulate again. Won't try for a couple of months at least, but would like to keep tabs on things if I can. I'm a total noob, so easy to use/read results would be key!

 

[DobbyForever]

Fluek glad that you got the internet sorted! Sorry work is a lot rn . Not going to lie, I read that three times and didn’t process it. My brain mushy

winter that’s a really sweet perspective! Someone on the gender disappointment forums once gave the best advice. Like totally validating. That you’re grieving that lost reality. Totally reshaped my perspective on so many things.

I am an opk FIEND. I use three brands: cvs, wondfo, and cb digital advance. CVS has gotten too sensitive, and I’ve had a few false positives with fmu. Wondfo is cheap and never lets me down. Amazon has a great 50 opk/20? hpt combo for like $15. I like cb but it’s expensive. And with my pcos it’s hard to pintpoint when to start testing because it tests for estrogen as well. So if you’re regular, you’ll get a heads up on when to start bd. I usually just test fmu until I get my estrogen rise, then I move to 3x. I don’t use cb more than once a day unless I get a positive later in the day. Just because it’s so expensive. CVS is pretty pricey too but I think bang for buck it was cheapest in store to buy compared to like target and Walgreens. I usually lay out my sticks and pee cup the night before so I don’t forget lol and I don’t dump the pee until I know the tests weren’t faulty. I also temp though. I keep the bbt therm under my pillow or on my nightstand, easy reach don’t even open my eyes until it beeps lol

 

[DobbyForever]

And yeah I’m like hahahahahaga hahaha I should have brought an opk to work. This is killing me. I’m on the fence. He’s at work. Cuz yeah good f* buddies, emotionally and figuratively, are hard to find. Though The Boy is back! Just wants casual

 

[WinterBub]

Thank you for the OPK breakdown. From what you say, I think ill try to get some from wondfo or look at the clear blue digital. See how I go with those! Although I just started bleeding again apparently after 3 days of nothing. I thought I was done!!

Let us know how you get on with OPK round two if you go shopping after work!

 

[DobbyForever]

No problem! Glad my poas addiction can benefit somebody lol. Oh no! Sorry the bleeding is back

Yeah honestly my stash is scary lol. I should go through though and check expiration dates. Wondfo is super negative. It was a 3.5 hour hold with minimal fluids. Coupled with the temp this morning, I think I’ve ovulated. Can’t say for sure when. I temp sporadically, but it’s been days. And ok I know I’m gross but I did have some discharge today so being the scientist that I am... let’s just say one of my five senses says it’s more seminal than vaginal... ... ... so definitely a plan b situation except I kind of don’t want to take plan b... but also yeah this is not a good situation. I should have known. I was way too in the mood. I only get that intense when I’m ovulating.

eta: he told me to take plan b. First nicely then not so nicely so yuuuuuup

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Hey all. Sorry this is gonna be a little selfish.

Just found out today that Alex fracture his left wrist. It's a bit of a long (and still going) story. But I'm exhausted, so I'll update you and do a proper reply tomorrow.

But I will say, Dobby, omg! Guess we'll see what comes from this TWW.

 

[DobbyForever]

Oh no! I’m so sorry Pretty. That’s so stressful when our LOs are hurt . I hope he’s doing alright and it heals well and quickly. And hopefully that cast doesn’t give him too much grief. How long is it on?

Temp was 98.28 yesterday and 98.34 today. Opk with fmu is super light. I have a temp Monday (97.8ish) which is still pre-o. Really just boils down to did I ovulate on Tuesday or Wednesday. Honestly, my thing with plan b is I’m on a hormonal detox rn, and I’ve already ovulated. But like if I Oed Tuesday then there’s no way that egg was hanging around Wednesday/Thursday at midnight. And even if I Oed Wednesday, we had sex so late in the day and I’m still not entirely sure how much semen actually made it’s way inside me if any. But he’s made it abundantly clear he does not want a baby with me (fair, I don’t want a baby with him though kid does have good genes lol) but flip side... like dude I told you I was off the pill. So I feel ethically obligated to take plan b. Would it make me a horrible person if I didn’t? Be brutally honest.

 

[DobbyForever]

Double post

 

[Flueky88]

Pretty so sorry A fractured a bone. It sucks when they are hurting.

Dobby, honestly I wouldn't because it will not make a difference at this point in your cycle. I don't think it makes a difference after O. My 3rd was conceived with BD the day after O but it was quite early in a.m.

Winter, I liked the wondfo opk and would confirm with a clearblue digital opk (not advanced).

Also, I work for a home health agency that also has hospice services. My background is home health, 10 years. I'm in an audit position rather than clinical.

 

[DobbyForever]

Oooook Fluek got it got it. You are definitely keeping busy. Hoping you can squeeze in some you time soon.

I'm just talking myself into there's no way I could be pregnant because I don't want to take plan b But also... gears are already turning if I did conceive haha. So I guess just call me 2dpo?