General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[DobbyForever]

Winter not to be cringe but your words really hit this morning. and solid words of wisdom.

Awww yay glad he was able to eat something! Hopefully he’s feeling even better today. Ah yes the no sex grouchiness. At least the scan is just a few days out. BJs? And I don’t mean for the pizza and pizookies

omg that’s so cute! I had a bottle of porteguese wine my coworker got me (not in one sitting, I drank it across the whole day) and binged season two part 1 of Yashahime. I have had a fictional character crush on Sesshomaru since I was a little girl then I cried for a while because wine and it’s the first time since implantation that I could drink without excruciating pain. Then I made a depressing collage and set it Carrie Underwood’s “See You Again” and sent it to my two best friends. Went to bed at NY NY. Got woken up from 12-1 from fireworks. The street ones don’t bother my dog anymore, but the big ones down at the lake still do. Ate a whole block of brie. No big plans cuz we’re technically in isolation still.

 

[tdog]

@PrettyInInk42 we were not trying at all tbh I came of injection because it messed with my body basically I was a psycho on it we had a opps moment but I went for the implant, my first 2 babies I was on bc one was the injection and one was implant actually but so paranoid about catching again on any bc. Xx

@DobbyForever what you said about pcos pretty much sums up what's been in my head, I was never actually told about if it would affect fertility, I think I need to speak with doc about more insite to it, I mean it's been nearly 20 years she had diagnosed it, she never actually showed me any scan photos or anything but the pain in my right ovary is so much the same as what you said xx

@WinterBub in a nut shell yes I would have another but SO has a aneurysm so he not wanting any more at all, he on edge all the time of weather its his last day with us or not I'm on edge of weather I'm going to find him or worse one of the kids will find him, awww thanks Heidi is a little diva for sure little attitude aswell but this is the 2 babies Heidi and quinn xx
We have discussed maybe having another and just ntnp if happens happens sort of thing, I mean with him being diagnosed with this aorta aneurysm we barely dtd tbh xx

 

[shaescott]

Winter I can’t stop charting because we were using NFP/FAM to prevent. Not that it went well this cycle I think we’ll be having a series of talks over the next few weeks/months about NTNP tbh. If we decide to NTNP, I may relax about the charting and just take OPKs so I know around when I’m ovulating, rather than full temp tracking. When I told him it was negative, he was mostly relieved, but he admitted part of him was disappointed. When he thought I was pregnant he was clearly scared but more scared of screwing up the kid than anything, he was full protective dad mode. Super cute. He also was very supportive of me and my emotions. He made dinner, did my laundry, held me while I cried. Silver lining that he wants to hurry up and propose now even though I’m not pregnant.

I know my family is not the same as a pregnancy test lol. Honestly though, I think with my family fertility there’s a very high chance that I did conceive and have a CP. I can’t be sure, which makes it almost harder to mourn what could’ve been, because I don’t know if there was any actual life to mourn, however tiny. With all the weird symptoms I’ve had lately (getting car sick, super gassy, frequent urination, etc), I lean towards a CP, but I’ll never ever know for sure.

 

[Flueky88]

Hi tdog! I remember you. Lovely pic of your family. I'm so sorry about your DHs aneurysm and how he's coping

Winter awww yes they can get so grumpy without sex. Postpartum is so hard because they till want "it" but you are exhausted and recovering from childbirth. I'm glad LO was able to eat some food and hope you don't catch it. 4 days until the scan right?

Dobby well I do hope you have a happy, healthy, dreams come true 2022.

Shae I'm sorry about temp drop. It's hard when you want something so bad. I hope that 2022 brings you an engagement and maybe even ttc by end of this year.

Whatever occurred this cycle, it sounds like it is going to help speed up the timeliness of your relationship "milestones".

Happy new year everyone. I hope that 2022 is a happy and healthy year for all of you and your family.

Dh and I shot off some fireworks around 630 so the girls could watch them. Dh had to work in the morning but we managed to stay up until midnight and had a glass of bubbly as we watched NY show. It's a bit of a tradition for us. When I've been pregnant NYE, I've drank sparkling grape juice lol

 

[DobbyForever]

Shae I feel like he’d be ntnp and you’ll still track. Once you know you can, it’s hard not to. But I do agree with Winter. Does overall seem to cause a lot of unhealthy (but understandable) obsession that pours into the relationship. I’m glad SO can ride the wave with you though, and that something good has come from this.

 

[DobbyForever]

Tdog I’m so sorry about his diagnosis. That is such a heavy weight for you all to carry day by day. Hopefully he had plenty of time with you all still. Your LOs sound precociously amazing. Love it

Fluek that’s a lovely tradition! Bummer he had to work but glad it didn’t stop the fun. Bet the girls loved the show

 

[tdog]

@Flueky88 I remember you aswell honestly these past few month have hit me hard my mental health declined I mean drastically declined I had everyone else's problems on my shoulders I mean quinn has kidney stones but I don't no what the hell they want to do about them they not causing him jip he still a happy chappy but none the less I worry about them xx

 

[tdog]

Tdog I’m so sorry about his diagnosis. That is such a heavy weight for you all to carry day by day. Hopefully he had plenty of time with you all still. Your LOs sound precociously amazing. Love it

Fluek that’s a lovely tradition! Bummer he had to work but glad it didn’t stop the fun. Bet the girls loved the show

We haven't mentioned anything to the kids Beth isn't his she nos about it as she is 17 but she is the same as me a worrier, asks daily how he is. The others I don't th8nk they would really understand the 10 year old maybe but not of that makes sense lol xx

 

[WinterBub]

Big hug, Dobby Wish things could've all gone differently. I kind of like that there's a big group of us who knew about her, and that she was important Are you naming her? Not sure if that is helpful or unhelpful after a loss.

I'm sorry about your OH's diagnosis, Tdog. I just googled it, and hope he has a minor case. I'm sure that's a very heavy burden for you to carry i agree- I wouldn't tell any of the younger kids. Even at 10, I don't think they can understand or rationalize it. As hard as I'm sure it is for you, it is a gift to save them that worry. It's hard getting older, isnt it? All these big life issues suddenly seem to come up.

Either way, Shae- id say to stop with the tracking. Either NTNP (which is him basically agreeing to have a baby) or telling him it's his responsibility to pull out and just leaving it at that. It just seems like there are so many downsides for you in knowing so much, and having that build up your hopes. I hope he proposes, and that you will enjoy planning that next step together.

Flueky- your NYE sounds lovely time spent with the person you love. I'll aim to do the same with a glass of bubbly next NYE. Yep, scan appt is on Wednesday. Just a few more days to wait.

I get his grumpiness... But at the same time, he's a big boy and in general I think we do ok in that department... so, I'd never say it to him this way... But surely he can take care of himself for a week?! (Now to make sure he never sees this page. )

 

[DobbyForever]

Tdog, For sure. It’s so hard to understand that concept at 10. I teach 5th grade, and I can’t imagine any of my students trying to be 10 while trying to navigate that. Hugs. Any time you need to vent, we’re here. That’s sweet that Beth checks in every day. I’m sure it’s hard, but wow speaks so much to how much she loves you both. Sorry if I missed it, but I’m assuming if she’s checking in that means she already out young adulting?

Winter, she was named. Less her but more I always knew what I wanted to name my daughter. Just worked out that they both would be A names. Aria Rose. It’s hard because there’s a part of me that hopes that I’ll find someone and she’ll come back to me, and it would hurt too much to use the name again if I say it’s her name. So for right now I’m just calling her Setsuna. Which is just because she’s my favorite in Yashahime but I just googled the meaning and it’s very appropriate. Means a moment, a split second in time. Which is how long I got to be her mother. Some people say it can also mean sorrow. Or moon, and my name is related to the moon as well. So I’m going with that for now. I am glad people knew and loved her. When I look at her, and I try not often, I do sense she’s at peace. I have to believe my dad found her and is taking care of her. It’s just hard because she’s still here and I just want to cradle her and hold her but I can’t. This holiday is really making it hard. I wish someone would get back to me. I’m about to just walk into the ER tomorrow if I don’t here from anybody.

lol winter just leave a box of tissues and some lotion and a tube sock out for the lols jk jk jk but yeah he’ll be fine. I actually tell guys I’m sleeping with they’re not allowed to diy the days leading up to seeing me I can always tell who listens

 

[shaescott]

Winter my concern with not tracking is that my cycles are not regular since getting my IUD out. I will not know when to expect my period, because I won’t know when I ovulated. From previous experience, that results in thinking I might be pregnant as soon as it’s like CD32, and it definitely is not good for my mental health. At least with tracking I know when to expect my period. At minimum I would need to do OPKs so I know when I ovulated.

 

[shaescott]

Dobs that’s a lovely name.

 

[WinterBub]

Beautiful name, Dobby. Perfect fit with that meaning

 

[tdog]

@WinterBub I hate being a adult sometimes it's so hard trying to keep myself a float atm is just so tuff xx

@DobbyForever very long story but please bare with me... when I was pregnant with Heidi the week after we told the kids the gender was the 23rd Feb 2019 (ill never forget) we had my step-son over who is also 17 now so same age as Beth, so when they were both 14 we use to leave them in living playing PlayStation never thought anything of anything as you do, the week after that I got a call from Beth's school she had accused him (step-son) of sexual assault, we had the police round the social where here I was shitting myself being 18/19 weeks pregnant aswell my emotions where everywhere, anyway fast forward a month it pit a real strain on paul and I to the point he moved out for a while, she wanted a lie detector test done to probe she wasn't lying now I no they are so unreliable but I paid for someone to come out, I went for a breather while they spoke to her about how they tests worked and such, them came to me and said she admitted she lied about it all I was deverstated gutted angry everything, at this point her dad had cut all contact with her (what a dick) hasn't spoke to her for 3 years now, so she had got in touch with my mam (her nana) and asked if she could move there for a bit so she has been there this whole time, I was gutted but she said she done it so the boys and Heidi didn't lose there dad she wanted him here, again my heart was shattered I was 8n the middle I was torn but she is still there now now with everything going on my heads in a whirl of is it my fault did I do something wrong I can't help feeling its my fault as a mother I really can't shake this feeling xx

Thank you for sticking with me this long xx

 

[tdog]

@WinterBub I hate being a adult sometimes it's so hard trying to keep myself a float atm is just so tuff xx

@DobbyForever very long story but please bare with me... when I was pregnant with Heidi the week after we told the kids the gender was the 23rd Feb 2019 (ill never forget) we had my step-son over who is also 17 now so same age as Beth, so when they were both 14 we use to leave them in living playing PlayStation never thought anything of anything as you do, the week after that I got a call from Beth's school she had accused him (step-son) of sexual assault, we had the police round the social where here I was shitting myself being 18/19 weeks pregnant aswell my emotions where everywhere, anyway fast forward a month it pit a real strain on paul and I to the point he moved out for a while, she wanted a lie detector test done to probe she wasn't lying now I no they are so unreliable but I paid for someone to come out, I went for a breather while they spoke to her about how they tests worked and such, them came to me and said she admitted she lied about it all I was deverstated gutted angry everything, at this point her dad had cut all contact with her (what a dick) hasn't spoke to her for 3 years now, so she had got in touch with my mam (her nana) and asked if she could move there for a bit so she has been there this whole time, I was gutted but she said she done it so the boys and Heidi didn't lose there dad she wanted him here, again my heart was shattered I was 8n the middle I was torn but she is still there now now with everything going on my heads in a whirl of is it my fault did I do something wrong I can't help feeling its my fault as a mother I really can't shake this feeling xx

Thank you for sticking with me this long xx

I realise there's prob some spelling mistakes but while writing that I had a few tears xx

 

[gigglebox]

GOOD NESS there's a lot to catch up on!

Shae, so sorry things happened like they did. I know you wish you knew whether it was "real" or not, but realize that your emotions are real, and there is nothing wrong with feeling sorrow for what could have been. I am really happy to read about your SO's reaction. You've waited a long time, and I hope he sticks to his word about proposing "sooner rather than later".

Dobs biggest hugs to you. I think the name is totally fitting and if it were me I'd reserve your name of choice for when you can use it on a regular basis. It is tricky though...I know it's not at all the same but I'm set on a girl's name and refrained on using it for the dog "just in case". It's one of those situations where I feel like I'd need it if I used it already, but since I didn't use it I'll never need it, haha.

tdog wow that is a really horrid situation. I'm really sorry for all of it, but I do hope all those little kiddos -- the ones not causing problems, heh -- are bringing a lot of light into your life!

I'll write more later but just writing that we officially got rid of all our baby stuff this weekend, including a little girl's outfit I'd be hanging onto since I was pg w/ ds2 (before I knew it was a boy).

 

[tdog]

@gigglebox thanks love yes I was in a awful situation yes tbh it's still a knife through the atmosphere kind of situation but like I've told paul she is mine she is part of me she is the babies sister and there's nothing no1 can change, yes she asks how he is on a regular basis yes she has done wrong but paul is so what's the word.... set on his ways that's it, he didn't tell me to choose him or her he didn't tell me she had to go she done the grown up thing at that age yes and moved with my mam, yes I see her everyday and coming home I cry everytime knowing a apart of me isn't here with me I no she's safe and I certainly no she well looked after it just hurts alot, I've bottled all this in ladies honest I fell like I'm walking on egg shells, I love paul I really really do but he don't get that my daughter is part of me what she had done I felt responsible for xx

Sorry I'm just letting it all out I've had a drink aswell so to make matters worse lol xx

 

[gigglebox]

I’m so sorry Tdog, seems like that wound would heal with time. Did she ever say why she lied?

also your cheapie test def had a line on it so I can see why you think cp. why all the birth control if it doesn’t work though?

 

[DobbyForever]

Tdog thank you for opening up. Please feel free to vent whenever you need to. You are definitely caught between a rock and a hard place. Maybe one day you’ll get answers from her, but it says so much about your heart that you’re still trying to be there and support her as her mom. My cousin did something similar where she made accusations of her father then repeatedly throughout the years went back and forth about it being true or that she was lying. She seems to have found her peace now, fifteen years later, but it’s hard to not know what their motivations were or how to help them. Sorry for the delay. Been a difficult day.

I never mentioned it before but I feel you on birth control. My first pregnancy, I was on bcp dutifully but I did take an antibiotic. My second, I thought I was safe as it was CD 20+ and the guy was being pushy about sex/no condom, and this was back when I didn’t have the backbone to say gtfo out my house. The third, the condom broke and I ovulated before I could take plan b because I was on a road trip. The copper iud really hurt me and messed up my cycles once I took it out. Depo shot totally effed up my cycles and dried up my already struggling milk supply. So I just don’t have faith in anything at this point. Current bc method is abstinence.

im sorry if I missed anybody else. Stress migraine going to bed

 

[DobbyForever]

And ty all re the name. I was the series was more popular. I’d like to get something to hold when I miss her.

gigs btw ten years late over here but your dog is super cute, I love her little face. And yeah exactly even though all of my pets growing up had the same name (became a running joke) I prefer to retire a name once it’s been used now. How are you feeling giving up the last of the baby stuff?