General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[tdog]

Hey everyone, I’m okay, just took some time to process and think stuff through.

I started spotting this afternoon. I was expecting it yesterday but in retrospect I ovulated overnight, so I wasn’t technically 13dpo until the nighttime last night. Very annoyed that I’ll never know 100%. I want to believe I was pregnant, because what a blessing that would be to hold life in me for just a few days, but I acknowledge there’s a good chance I wasn’t. So, I’m just going to try to move on. SO has been very kind during this. When I asked what “sooner rather than later” actually meant he was like “well, depends how long the ring takes to ship, I need to look into it”. I explained the difference between white gold and platinum, and he was really interested in the version of the ring with a yellow gold inset as the heart, but they don’t offer that in platinum for the main ring, so he’s considering emailing them asking if it’s possible or not, they do custom orders. This is what it looks like with the yellow gold accent. He really likes it that way, I don’t really have a preference. He’s still worried about how much car repairs will be, he’s planning on taking his car in tomorrow, it’s likely just a sensor that needs to be replaced but could be more. So I think he won’t be ordering a ring until after he knows how much the car repair will be.
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@tdog I’m so sorry that happened to your family, that’s such an awful situation. It must have broken a lot of trust in the family. Has she got therapy to address the situation? Not sure if you said that or not. I feel like kids don’t do something like that for no reason, there was likely an underlying issue that caused her to make a false accusation like that. Either way, I’m glad she’s doing better now and that she’s apologized to the people she hurt. Hopefully she can move on with her life and have a totally normal adulthood with that behind her. People make mistakes, especially kids, and as long as they acknowledge it and apologize, I think they deserve a second chance.

Dobs ugh that’s so annoying about the office not getting back to you. I hope this awful situation is over for you soon. I’m so so sorry you’re going through this, I can’t even imagine. I truly believe that your little girl understood and is in heaven looking down on you, knowing how much you love her and miss her. I’m glad A is doing okay symptom-wise, thank God.

Gigs aw I’m sorry about the girl clothes. That must be tough.

Winter prayers for your scan I hope you’ve got a healthy little one in there. That’s crazy they didn’t tell you about the risk of blood clots! Were you under 35 and not a smoker? Maybe they thought you were low enough risk? Idk, but they told me and I’m in my 20s. It made my stomach super sensitive, I started throwing up my other meds if I missed a day and took my regular dose the next. I had never had a problem with that before. After I stopped them the other meds still made me super nauseous and dizzy after around an hour, so I had to switch them altogether. Goodbye, Zoloft. You were good to me until you weren’t

Pretty never apologize for sharing your pregnancy, we love a happy story! What a lovely bump, she’s starting to show herself!

Flueks I don’t want you to think I forgot about you but I can’t think of what you said other than I think you got AF? Idk, but love you!

Thanks love all she said to me was she was jealous and I all I can think is we were expecting Heidi at the time and found out she was a she my step-son and I got on fine so I don't no if she was jealous of how we got on, it's still a techy subject to the point she chances the subject if I mention it xx

That ring looks amazing paul didn't propose until after I had Heidi be 2 year this year we been together 11 now I'd moaned about it for years he made me choose three and he picked one of them this is mine

 

[DobbyForever]

Trigger warning

Spoiler

omg I just checked on her and she’s not looking good. I’m so pissed. I know it’s a holiday but ffs I told you my dead baby is in my fridge and I called a thousand times. My poor baby girl. She deserves so much better than what she’s getting.

I think her loss hurts me the most because the others were on my terms. This wasn’t. I don’t like it.

 

[DobbyForever]

Oooo Shae now that’s interesting. I thought the whole thing would be yellow gold. That’s kinda cool how it’s just the heart that’s accented. That’s fun though that you don’t have a preference, so ultimately you haven’t 100% picked out the ring. He gets some input. Random, does the accent come in rose gold? Just curious what that would look like. That’s a sweet sentiment. Probably prudent to wait for the car. Can he also ask if they do a payment plan? That way it’s not car or ring it’s both? Just be sure he asks if there’s a penalty for paying it off early. Though I get not everyone is about that idea. Hope the car isn’t too much

Sending hugs. It’s a loss and it takes time to process. Of course it’s exciting that you’re moving into proposal stage, but that doesn’t take away from what you’re going through. Sending big hugs

Fluek hope the snow isn’t too much of an inconvenience and you all stay safe. Maybe even have some fun with the snow. Kudos on the shopping trip! Impressive

tdog that’s so cute! I love that pick three but then he chooses the final ring. And holy f*. Girl. GIRL in another multiverse we are bffs lol. That ring looks so similar to mine! I love swirls. I picked my ring and diamond. Which I thought was fun and great at the time but was really just because my ex gave zero shits and was literally buying me something shiny to distract me from his overall crappiness

 

[tdog]

Oooo Shae now that’s interesting. I thought the whole thing would be yellow gold. That’s kinda cool how it’s just the heart that’s accented. That’s fun though that you don’t have a preference, so ultimately you haven’t 100% picked out the ring. He gets some input. That’s a sweet sentiment. Probably prudent to wait for the car. Can he also ask if they do a payment plan? That way it’s not car or ring it’s both? Just be sure he asks if there’s a penalty for paying it off early. Though I get not everyone is about that idea. Hope the car isn’t too much.

Fluek hope the snow isn’t too much of an inconvenience and you all stay safe. Maybe even have some fun with the snow. Kudos on the shopping trip! Impressive

tdog that’s so cute! I love that pick three but then he chooses the final ring. And holy f*. Girl. GIRL in another multiverse we are bffs lol. That ring looks so similar to mine! I love swirls. I picked my ring and diamond. Which I thought was fun and great at the time but was really just because my ex gave zero shits and was literally buying me something shiny to distract me from his overall crappiness

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Holy shit girl I see what you mean that ring is amazing I don't like plane mine has to have something like swirly white gold and rose gold mine, and omg so sorry she isn't looking good and you haven't had no answer as yet hope you get answer soon how so frustrating for you xx

 

[DobbyForever]

Trigger

Spoiler

thank you. It just hurts. I could so clearly see her little hands and feet, and it’s starting to mush now. I just want to cry. She was so beautiful when she came out, and now she’s losing form I know they warned me that because she was just under 8w when she stopped growing that I’d see her but I didn’t really believe them. Or that I’d be able to count her ten beautiful little toes. Or to see her arms folded so peaceful across her chest. My beautiful little girl. Doesn’t help that I’m now just in liners. I miss her so much. The potential of who she could have been. And God I think every moment how hard life would be with two kids, I want her back and it’s not fair and I miss her so much

aww I actually like yours! The wedding base is thicker and just gives the overall look more stability. And that pop of color, gorgeous! I never would have considered that

 

[WinterBub]

Sorry that AF got you, Shae. i wouldn't call it a lost pregnancy for medical reasons (like when they take your OB history), but beyond that it really doesn't matter. It was a lost chance, and I think you can mourn that lost dream however you want, and whatever the technical truth of it is. Hopefully you get what I mean!

Glad you can stay home, Flueky! I like to stay far away from people who aren't used to ie. driving in ice and snow I have lived in places that snow- one regularly and one rarely. The places with regular snow are totally on top if all, the places that don't usually get it are a complete mess when it does happen. Hope it doesn't last too long, but that you get enough to take the girls out to play!

Lovely rings, everyone ! I second the rose gold heart suggestion. Looks like rose gold is one of the options in the pic you showed. But I just like rose gold in general. I hope that the proposal happens really soon, Shae!

I'm sorry, Dobby- there's not much to say beyond that. Hearing you talk about it, I'm not sure why they didn't offer more guidance ahead of time. Like, why tell you that will happen but have no guidance of what to do then? I hope you find a way to say goodbye in a way that honors her. I know you wanted to put her in the ocean- but what about buying a beautiful little pot and flower of some sort? You could lay her to rest, but still take that out to the ocean later if you decide you want to. Sorry, hope that is helpful- sometimes I try to offer ideas when condolences or listening is more appropriate.

I'm glad your daughter wrote that letter, Tdog. Kids do weird stuff all the time, and she was just a young teenager. I get how there are bad feelings all around as some things can't be so easily undone. But hopefully with time, all will pass. I'm glad she's happy with your Mam.

Thank you all for the scan prayers, vibes, thoughts. It's so appreciated- especially so as we haven't mentioned anything to anyone at this point. So appreciate the support. LO is finally truly better, and cracking us up. We did a little Harry Potter Lego set, and he keeps pronouncing "magic" as "batsh*t" Like clear a bell with a crisp "t" sound on the end. Lots of "Harry do batsh*t" etc so lucky to have him! Toddlers are the best.

And no, I really don't recall anyone talking about the blood clot issue! I went on it in my teens, so possible that it was mentioned then and I was like "yeah, yeah, yeah". But I was shocked to learn that when I was my late 20s. I moved around a lot, and I guess when you see a new Dr to get a refill they assume you know. and yes, always been a non-smoker and under 35 when on it. I just feel like in general, girls and women should be better informed about all of this kind of stuff.

 

[WinterBub]

Ps. Dobby- were you married of engaged? Interesting if he wore an engagement ring!

 

[gigglebox]

Dobs right they can take the time to send an appointment reminder but not just email? what?

Fluek yup, it's that time of year for us where it's sunny and 60-70 degrees one day then a blizzard the next...typical for Virginia. We were in the 50's-60's today and tomorrow in the mid 30's, lows around 15, and 4-8" of snow. But, in true VA fashion, it will likely be melted by the end of the day or by the next day; our issue we get around here is things melting then re-freezing over night. Pretty dangerous to drive in. The kids are excited though, but I think I am more than them, lol

 

[tdog]

@WinterBub I think in my stupid little head I was thinking if she said sorry everything be fine then reality hit and it wasn't I have a stupid mind xx

Good luck with the scan I think I must have missed the post about your scan sorry xx

 

[DobbyForever]

Winter as much as I’d love to grow her into something beautiful, I have literal and figurative brown thumbs and then I thought like if I plant her in a public space I’d be upset if someone ever like defaced her or she never grew or they demolished that area. My imagination is legit. To be fair, I had the option to take her to the unit I ended up getting the meds from on day one, but they are an hour away (one way) and I was on opioids and had A with me. If I had known everything would shut down, I would have just skipped the pain meds and driven her. Hindsight but whatever. I am concerned like what if I had an emergency?! And I emailed the doctor the other day to make sure I didn’t need the second set of pills and never got a response obviously. And I clearly don’t need it but like what if I did?! Seems super negligent for me to not be able to reach a single ob in two counties.

Omfg batsh*t! I’m laughing so hard. I needed that. Hahaha

for sure. There should never be “assumed you knew” when it comes to medicine.

and of course! We’re here for you and so excited.

gigs right?! Like you booked an appointment without consulting me so you’d think they’d send an email to say hey a nurse will call you in the morning. Eyeroll better yet just email to say when and where I can bring her! r_r

A is laying on my stomach and I want to cry. I honestly think he’s a sibling who would get jealous and it’d be all bad, but I see him being curious before she arrived and definitely the type to be fascinated with my belly.

It’s such a bizarre thing to me lol show and frozen roads haha

tdog you’re not stupid just a big hearted optimistic

Ok to circle back. I am single as can be. I just love my ring so any chance I have to be like look at it I had a lot of childhood trauma turned bad choices in dating. I’ve been engaged three times. First, I was like 18-19. He proposed because I found out he was lying to me, so solution bring home a ring. Relationship lasted like three days more before I realized a ring didn’t change that he was a pathological liar and cheater. But start to finish, 3 month relationship that moved at unhealthy speeds perpetuated by my best friend’s gf using me to get him move to LA because she couldn’t afford to move without him. Second engagement was my Canadian. We met randomly when he joined my multiplayer team in left 4 dead. He had a super sexy voice and things just went from there. We did see each other fairly often considering he lived near Toronto and we logged like 2,000 hours of gaming together. We dated for over a year before he proposed. Good proposal, too. Like really good. I’m not mad about it at all. But I was super emotionally abusive and he was cheating. I dumped him because he put the girl he was cheating with on a conference call with me and I was there screaming at some 19 year old home wrecker (I was like 22/23) and just had this out of body experience where I realized I didn’t deserve that s*. So I told her they deserved each other and she could have him and hung up. Thankfully I got my money back on the deposit from our wedding venue. Pawned the ring. Guy was like I’m gonna give you $200 for a $1200 ring, and I’m like f* if I care. Third was A’s dad. I was 26, we’d been dating 11 months. Abusive narcissistic sociopath. He really had my number down. There were so many times I wanted to leave, and he’d pull me back on. I started recording conversations to play to myself to remind myself I wasn’t crazy and he was abusive. Then I tried to make it work because I was pregnant. But he was such a s* dad to A that I was done. Well, that and when he did things without my consent with more gusto than usual and said he wanted to be sure I cried extra loud so our son knows how to treat women, there was no going back. Got a restraining order, child support is garnished, and if he needs to reach me then it’s through my attorney. Didn’t date or have sex for over 3 years because I just couldn’t get over the trauma. Basically avoided spending any real time at home because the PTSD was fierce. So lockdown was fun. The Boy was the first guy I trusted enough to sleep with. Then I had a ho phase after I ended it because he was non committal then he reappeared and I was in need of a new but trustworthy fwb. To clarify, he ended any dating potential but was fine still sleeping together. I just ended the sleeping together. For like 6 months lol. So obviously my picker is still broken lol

 

[shaescott]

Flueks I’m glad the cup is working for you! Even up north people go buy milk and bread when a storm is coming. Honestly I wish we’d get more powdery snowfall, it’s so pretty to watch and easy to clean off a car. When I was a kid we’d get powdery snow all the time and I’d wish for “snowman snow”, aka snow that clumps together well for snowman making. I’d ask my mom every storm, “is it snowman snow?” Now though, “snowman snow” is a pain in my butt to clean off my car and it’s all we seem to get. That and just straight ice.

tdog what a lovely ring! I like that idea of picking 3 rings for him to choose from.

Dobs oh dear I’m so sorry. Your poor sweet girl.

The ring does come in rose gold! I like rose gold, but my finger reacts to metals a lot and I’m concerned that the copper would be an issue. I was told by a jeweler that sometimes it’s gonna react no matter what you do if you’re an unlucky one, and she wouldn’t recommend it for me based on my history with jewelry. I told SO that it would be best to go with either platinum or platinum and yellow gold accent, he’d have to get it custom ordered for the latter. More expensive, but more hypoallergenic and higher quality.
The car repair shouldn’t be so much he’d need a payment plan by any means. If it’s just the sensor it should be a couple hundred at most.

Winter lol re: batshit, I love Harry Potter, I need to watch that reunion thing they just put out!

AFM I’m just really tired and emotionally blah. Started feeling super anxious for no clear reason and ended up taking a nap because I just felt so awful. The past 2 days I’ve been napping for 3 hours during the day and then still sleeping through the night. Also my boobs still hurt and I’m unamused, like leave me alooooonnneee

 

[shaescott]

Not sure why my spotting has been so scant today, in the AM I wiped and saw some blood so I put in a tampon and there was literally nothing on it all day. Swabbed my cervix and just a little bit of pink. Weird. It’ll probably be full force tomorrow but if it’s not that would definitely make me suspicious. Idk. If it’s full force tomorrow it’s most likely just AF.

 

[DobbyForever]

Oh Shae. Ugh I’m so sorry your body is leading you on. I won’t lie, I have hoped that your temp would bounce back and the bleeding wouldn’t progress. I don’t want to give you any undue hope, but if your bleeding is a bit iffy have you tested again since the last one?

Learner something new about rose gold today. The yellow is very pretty as was the original idea. Can’t go wrong either way plus to come from the man you want to spend your life with and start a family with. Absolute icing. Glad the car sounds like a cheaper fix.

im not gonna lie I have thoughts about the hp reunion

Spoiler

It’s just not particularly keeping my attention. It’s sweet. I’ve cried a bit with nostalgia but it’s not as captivating as the Friends one. I’ve had to start and stop several times with this one

 

[shaescott]

Dobs I haven’t tested again. I’m going to wait to see if I start properly bleeding tomorrow. I don’t want to risk another nasty indent or squinter giving me false hope. It would hurt too much. I forgot to temp this morning, hopefully I’ll remember in the morning, but I’m much less likely to remember when I think pregnancy isn’t a real possibility, because I just don’t care as much so it’s not on my mind when I wake up. I’m fully expecting AF to properly start tomorrow, it’s just naive hope making me think maybe it won’t.

That’s too bad about the reunion. Honestly, I expected as much. I’m not generally super into watching actors converse and reminisce with each other, it reminds me of being stuck at a family party as a kid bored out of your mind while your mom has a long boring convo with some relative you’ve never met or even heard of before that day. I’m only going to watch it because of how much I love Harry Potter.

 

[DobbyForever]

Good plan. It’s so frustrating, so I’m glad you’re going about it with a level head.

Thats exactly how I would describe I also thought they skipped some topics that I expected to come up, but I also see why they skipped it. Idk. Just generally liked how the Friends one had these fun moments sprinkled through. And idk I mean I love the marvel documentaries behind the scenes, so I just don’t know why I couldn’t get behind the hp reunion. Oh well.

I will say made me feel old to see the clip of Sean Biggerstaff. I was so enamored with him when the movie came out. Now, he just looks like a baby in that scene

 

[tdog]

Right ladies I had ovulation tests in the house ready when I came of injection mainly so we didn't catch so me being a poas addict I took one as you do and this is pretty dark for cd 6 I'm feeling a bit watery down there aswell I'm a little bit confused if I'm honest xx



Edit I no its not positive xx

 

[DobbyForever]

Are you gonna hate me if I say welcome to pcos? but seriously, pcos or not opks do bounce around quite a bit. Although, it is more common to have a higher baseline of lh if you also have pcos. That’s my only issue with Premom. It’s convinced women that the ratio/darkness of the test matters when really it just boils down to negative, positive, hella positive. When you say come off, and I’m sure you’ve answered this, you mean the depo injection bc? And you have an implant now, right? Not gonna lie I don’t know how the implant works except that it sits in your arm doing stuff lol. And different brands have different sensitivity. And every cycle can be different. And then different times of day can be different. I just don’t know how much I’d read into it. For the pic not labeled, 10/30 was cd 6

In other news glad my doctor is calling at 8. Aside from hopefully getting some guidance on my options with Setsuna, I passed a very large clot last night and a whole bunch of shreds of tissue. And now TMI the color of my blood has changed and it has an almost skunk like odor to it. I’m sure it’s nothing just odd so I’d like to hear from someone who knows better it’s fine.

 

[tdog]

Are you gonna hate me if I say welcome to pcos? but seriously, pcos or not opks do bounce around quite a bit. Although, it is more common to have a higher baseline of lh if you also have pcos. That’s my only issue with Premom. It’s convinced women that the ratio/darkness of the test matters when really it just boils down to negative, positive, hella positive. When you say come off, and I’m sure you’ve answered this, you mean the depo injection bc? And you have an implant now, right? Not gonna lie I don’t know how the implant works except that it sits in your arm doing stuff lol. And different brands have different sensitivity. And every cycle can be different. And then different times of day can be different. I just don’t know how much I’d read into it. For the pic not labeled, 10/30 was cd 6

In other news glad my doctor is calling at 8. Aside from hopefully getting some guidance on my options with Setsuna, I passed a very large clot last night and a whole bunch of shreds of tissue. And now TMI the color of my blood has changed and it has an almost skunk like odor to it. I’m sure it’s nothing just odd so I’d like to hear from someone who knows better it’s fine.

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no not hate you at all I love you being honest yea now have implant in and I don't have a clue what it does exactly either but they recommend it lol, normally for me from cd6-13 is like nothing there then cd14-16 is positive, so that's why this confused the hell out of me xx

So glad the doc going to ring you sorry I don't have a clue on the clotting and smelling situation I'm no help there but I'm here to send virtual xx

 

[DobbyForever]

Haha yeah I’d say hormones from the injection kept your lh low but my understanding is depo still allows ovulation just not implantation, so idk how much I trust my theory. And Idk if the implant also allows O. I basically LA LA LA LA my doctor any time they talk about it because I’m too squeamish to ever get one sorry I don’t have any real insight

thanks. Definitely need a hug. I think today is the day I change my sig. bit stuck on whether I label her as lost as the week she stopped growing vs the week I physically lost her. Tbh I like the idea that she was mine longer than she was so I’m leaning using 9w. I know it doesn’t matter and is whatever I want to do but yeah. Weird things and over analyzing are how I roll. And I’m not ready to delete the ticker. Thought I was. Thought wrong.

 

[DobbyForever]

I cannot make this s* up.... they called TO CANCEL. And she’s like I don’t have anything today, so I cut her off and (really tried my best to tame my rage but there was definite dont f* with me vibes in my voice) explained the situation. So after 20m she calls me back I say I have a phone appointment with a doctor at the clinic the town over. Sigh. Like people I’m about to just drop her on somebody’s desk and cause a s*show. I don’t understand why i keep getting kicked when I’m already down. I don’t know what I’m supposed to learn from this.