General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")
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PrettyInInk42
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Winter - Thanks. I think all pink is too much too. That being said, I was considering doing her room purple, but I'm now leaning towards pink. One medium pink accent wall and the other walls a much softer pink.
Once the baby is here, I'll be switching Matthew to part time daycare (only 3 days instead of 5), so maybe that'll be a better time since he'll be several months older and we'll have 5 days in a row to help him learn.
Congrats on the good (yet confusing) scan. A heart beat is always a good thing. What day do you go back next week?
Gigs - It was fairly fun. Really just grouped everything by size. I'm moderately excited to see what my sister and friend have for me to add to my collection. lol
Shoveling snow is totally a workout. As for testing with DH home, just go into the bathroom and say the Mexican food is really doing a number on your tummy and turn the fan on. lol
Dobby - It is definitely nice to be in the girl section. Still a wee bit guarded til I see the report on the 10th, plus I don't wanna blow a ton of money on clothes when only one of my kids is gonna wear them. Buying clothes for Alex is an investment cuz I know Matthew will wear them later. And, if it's something gender neutral like jeans
or plain sweater, all 3 will get some use out of it. Babies can also grow so quick. Sometimes, you only get a wearing or 2 out of a $15 outfit. :/
No sprinkle date yet. I'm trying to be as hands off as possible. I suggested my BDay weekend (2nd weekend in April), but I have no idea what my friend has in mind. She was talking about sending out invites soon, but that seems really early for a potential April gathering. She also said if we still have a ton of restrictions, she'll maybe just make it a drive by thing. But just about everyone on the guest list lives an hour away and that's a lot of driving to just say hi quickly and leave. We'll see though.
Glad to hear you dumped your booze. Dunno if there's anything I can say that hasn't already been said, but I also want for you and A just be safe and happy. We're all here for you when you need us and I am more than down for some Taco Bell. American Taco Bell restaurants seem to have a much better selection than in Canada. lol. And A's play room sounds great. The boys have a trampoline and basketball hoop too and love them. And he's such a cutie.
Re: Preggo food no-nos. I know they tell us to beware of fish, but there are lots of pg women in Asia where fish is a pretty big staple of their diet and their babies turn out fine. Everything in moderation though. Honestly, I have a bit of deli meat like 2 or 3 times a week. Did so with both boys and they're fine.
Once the baby is here, I'll be switching Matthew to part time daycare (only 3 days instead of 5), so maybe that'll be a better time since he'll be several months older and we'll have 5 days in a row to help him learn.
Congrats on the good (yet confusing) scan. A heart beat is always a good thing. What day do you go back next week?
Gigs - It was fairly fun. Really just grouped everything by size. I'm moderately excited to see what my sister and friend have for me to add to my collection. lol
Shoveling snow is totally a workout. As for testing with DH home, just go into the bathroom and say the Mexican food is really doing a number on your tummy and turn the fan on. lol
Dobby - It is definitely nice to be in the girl section. Still a wee bit guarded til I see the report on the 10th, plus I don't wanna blow a ton of money on clothes when only one of my kids is gonna wear them. Buying clothes for Alex is an investment cuz I know Matthew will wear them later. And, if it's something gender neutral like jeans
or plain sweater, all 3 will get some use out of it. Babies can also grow so quick. Sometimes, you only get a wearing or 2 out of a $15 outfit. :/
No sprinkle date yet. I'm trying to be as hands off as possible. I suggested my BDay weekend (2nd weekend in April), but I have no idea what my friend has in mind. She was talking about sending out invites soon, but that seems really early for a potential April gathering. She also said if we still have a ton of restrictions, she'll maybe just make it a drive by thing. But just about everyone on the guest list lives an hour away and that's a lot of driving to just say hi quickly and leave. We'll see though.
Glad to hear you dumped your booze. Dunno if there's anything I can say that hasn't already been said, but I also want for you and A just be safe and happy. We're all here for you when you need us and I am more than down for some Taco Bell. American Taco Bell restaurants seem to have a much better selection than in Canada. lol. And A's play room sounds great. The boys have a trampoline and basketball hoop too and love them. And he's such a cutie.
Re: Preggo food no-nos. I know they tell us to beware of fish, but there are lots of pg women in Asia where fish is a pretty big staple of their diet and their babies turn out fine. Everything in moderation though. Honestly, I have a bit of deli meat like 2 or 3 times a week. Did so with both boys and they're fine.
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Sorry to be all about me. Falling asleep.
But the thing is, no. I barely remember anything from 2011 to 2015. I was so depressed, and I drank so much. And 2013 on the things my exes did to me. Easier to not remember. A month after him, I met my ex who threw me into a wall. Then I didn’t date for a year, drank a ton, and met A’s dad. I was like best friends with a guy and hung out with him and his daughter every day all summer and I have three memories of him. It’s scary. I see things on my fb or he’d talk about them, and I never remember them happening. My therapist says it’s because to function my body has literally wiped those memories. Buried them. But she doesn’t suggest hypnosis because she said it’s easy to create false memories but most importantly these repressed memories were repressed for a reason. There’s no real benefit to me remembering the details, but it could very well send me into a psychotic break.
According to my fb post, it was our second date. I don’t even remember what the first date was. I lived in Sunnyvale, and less responsibilities so I dated guys as far south as San Jose and as far north as San Francisco, but I did dare strictly on the peninsula because I was a snob lol. I know he took the train in to SF, so he couldn’t have been from there.
Idk. Just thought it’d be fun to say thanks. I probably never told him how much I enjoyed that date.
ETA so I searched my old messages and for whatever reason I FBed my mom a breakdown of the four guys I had first dates with that month. Unfortunately, I can confirm he does have a generic a* name and, shocker, he’s an engineer. I have his age but no info on his education or job because the start up he worked for was just bought. So it probably is him.
But the thing is, no. I barely remember anything from 2011 to 2015. I was so depressed, and I drank so much. And 2013 on the things my exes did to me. Easier to not remember. A month after him, I met my ex who threw me into a wall. Then I didn’t date for a year, drank a ton, and met A’s dad. I was like best friends with a guy and hung out with him and his daughter every day all summer and I have three memories of him. It’s scary. I see things on my fb or he’d talk about them, and I never remember them happening. My therapist says it’s because to function my body has literally wiped those memories. Buried them. But she doesn’t suggest hypnosis because she said it’s easy to create false memories but most importantly these repressed memories were repressed for a reason. There’s no real benefit to me remembering the details, but it could very well send me into a psychotic break.
According to my fb post, it was our second date. I don’t even remember what the first date was. I lived in Sunnyvale, and less responsibilities so I dated guys as far south as San Jose and as far north as San Francisco, but I did dare strictly on the peninsula because I was a snob lol. I know he took the train in to SF, so he couldn’t have been from there.
Idk. Just thought it’d be fun to say thanks. I probably never told him how much I enjoyed that date.
ETA so I searched my old messages and for whatever reason I FBed my mom a breakdown of the four guys I had first dates with that month. Unfortunately, I can confirm he does have a generic a* name and, shocker, he’s an engineer. I have his age but no info on his education or job because the start up he worked for was just bought. So it probably is him.
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Good morning ladies!
So I tested with FRER as soon as hubs left for work; BFN, of course. I know I'm "only" 9dpo but I'd expect to see something faint if actually pregnant. I'm debating if I should try one last time tomorrow, or just accept the most likely scenario which is that it's a no go. I have one FRER (actually I guess it's technically FR6DS) left, and 2 wally cheapies. What would you ladies do? Cheapies have in the past given me lines at the same time as as FRER. Tell me your thoughts ladies!
Anywho once I know for sure I'm not expecting, I am going to make a game plan for getting my body back!
Dobs, yeah I'd agree on the repressed memory thing. I can guarantee you didn't repress good stuff, that's not how it works. I actually had a repressed memory resurface years later from some childhood trauma...it was pretty awful. I spent years fighting with it and trying to figure out if it had actually happened or not -- can't go into details but it most certainly DID happen (and actually turned out to be far worse than I even knew...ugh long story) and it messed me up pretty well and good! I still struggle with it occasionally now; it's also a reason I am relieved to not have a daughter as I wouldn't want her to go through it. I know trauma can happen to men too but I mean my specific scenario I guess. I don't know. Sorry to be vague, just wanted to say I get it
So I tested with FRER as soon as hubs left for work; BFN, of course. I know I'm "only" 9dpo but I'd expect to see something faint if actually pregnant. I'm debating if I should try one last time tomorrow, or just accept the most likely scenario which is that it's a no go. I have one FRER (actually I guess it's technically FR6DS) left, and 2 wally cheapies. What would you ladies do? Cheapies have in the past given me lines at the same time as as FRER. Tell me your thoughts ladies!
Anywho once I know for sure I'm not expecting, I am going to make a game plan for getting my body back!
Dobs, yeah I'd agree on the repressed memory thing. I can guarantee you didn't repress good stuff, that's not how it works. I actually had a repressed memory resurface years later from some childhood trauma...it was pretty awful. I spent years fighting with it and trying to figure out if it had actually happened or not -- can't go into details but it most certainly DID happen (and actually turned out to be far worse than I even knew...ugh long story) and it messed me up pretty well and good! I still struggle with it occasionally now; it's also a reason I am relieved to not have a daughter as I wouldn't want her to go through it. I know trauma can happen to men too but I mean my specific scenario I guess. I don't know. Sorry to be vague, just wanted to say I get it
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Gigs, Hugs. I think I remember when you went through that if it’s what you shared before. And I get you. Honestly, I was worried about a girl for that same reason. 
re the frer 9dpo is early. I’d test tomorrow but only because I’d buy more tests LOL. Since you just have the one, I’d skip tomorrow and test again 11dpo.
Pretty lmfao solid suggestion. I faked so many s*s taking opks or hpts haha. Pink could be cute for the walls. I was going to do the same two tinder wall A has with like a maroon for the dark third on the bottom then a soft pink on top. I agree, not a huge pink person but it does look cute in walls. Either way, hope to see pics when you’re done painting. And good luck with the shift to part time daycare and potty training. I feel you on the clothes. Makes sense. Glad you’re getting to explore that section though! And I’m like sure it’s one kid but she’s you’re last kid and you said so much with the boys getting hand me downs. I’m a bad influence
Winter I wrote this grand thing and it glitched lol. But idk how it works with your provider, but any time I’ve had any major concerns I get a referral to get scanned at the hospital by an ultrasound tech on the fancy ultrasound. So I try to tell myself if I’m not sent there then there’s nothing huge. It does sound like it’s just a measurement thing. I had to do a few of A’s scans twice because he was being uncooperative while they were trying to measure him. Even though they reassured me there was no concern, I was there second guessing as well. Hard not to when you’re carrying precious cargo.
not gonna lie when you all keep saying cook sushi I giggle a little. I know there are baked rolls and things, not my jam. Winter, sorry you have to wait! My cousin continued to eat shellfish and sushi. I think AYCE sushi is in order next winter
Apparently papaya is bad, but I’m sure I ate tons of papaya salad. Or maybe I did Google it idk. Doubtful. I know a lot of restrictions are more about assuming food isn’t handled correctly, and food safety is such a bigger thing now that it was when those restrictions were created. Fish I thought was just to limit because mercury and, now, micro plastics. Raw fish because bacteria/parasites. The lists are so long though! Hard to keep up. But if it was on the main no no list from from the ob or my book then yeah I stopped eating that. I’m still bitter though that I was out here following food rules and my kid was 5lbs. Granted, I was also 5lbs but I was a month early. And I know SGA is linked to IPV and had plenty of that going on. Anyway I digress
had a nightmare I took A to work instead of to daycare and people kept gathering in my tiny classroom. Took my temp again last night, 97.7. Took it this morning 98.2. He feels fine and is jumping about singing his Moana but ugh. If I wasn’t on the verge of losing my s* I’d keep him home. I don’t even know if I have the energy to drive her to Monterey today. But this kid is coughing and sneezing like wtf you haven’t coughed or sneezed in five days and today you want to wake up coughing?! Not consistently like he coughed twice and sneezed once in nearly two hours but still. Germs.
re the frer 9dpo is early. I’d test tomorrow but only because I’d buy more tests LOL. Since you just have the one, I’d skip tomorrow and test again 11dpo.Pretty lmfao solid suggestion. I faked so many s*s taking opks or hpts haha. Pink could be cute for the walls. I was going to do the same two tinder wall A has with like a maroon for the dark third on the bottom then a soft pink on top. I agree, not a huge pink person but it does look cute in walls. Either way, hope to see pics when you’re done painting. And good luck with the shift to part time daycare and potty training. I feel you on the clothes. Makes sense. Glad you’re getting to explore that section though! And I’m like sure it’s one kid but she’s you’re last kid and you said so much with the boys getting hand me downs. I’m a bad influence
Winter I wrote this grand thing and it glitched lol. But idk how it works with your provider, but any time I’ve had any major concerns I get a referral to get scanned at the hospital by an ultrasound tech on the fancy ultrasound. So I try to tell myself if I’m not sent there then there’s nothing huge. It does sound like it’s just a measurement thing. I had to do a few of A’s scans twice because he was being uncooperative while they were trying to measure him. Even though they reassured me there was no concern, I was there second guessing as well. Hard not to when you’re carrying precious cargo.
not gonna lie when you all keep saying cook sushi I giggle a little. I know there are baked rolls and things, not my jam. Winter, sorry you have to wait! My cousin continued to eat shellfish and sushi. I think AYCE sushi is in order next winter
Apparently papaya is bad, but I’m sure I ate tons of papaya salad. Or maybe I did Google it idk. Doubtful. I know a lot of restrictions are more about assuming food isn’t handled correctly, and food safety is such a bigger thing now that it was when those restrictions were created. Fish I thought was just to limit because mercury and, now, micro plastics. Raw fish because bacteria/parasites. The lists are so long though! Hard to keep up. But if it was on the main no no list from from the ob or my book then yeah I stopped eating that. I’m still bitter though that I was out here following food rules and my kid was 5lbs. Granted, I was also 5lbs but I was a month early. And I know SGA is linked to IPV and had plenty of that going on. Anyway I digresshad a nightmare I took A to work instead of to daycare and people kept gathering in my tiny classroom. Took my temp again last night, 97.7. Took it this morning 98.2. He feels fine and is jumping about singing his Moana but ugh. If I wasn’t on the verge of losing my s* I’d keep him home. I don’t even know if I have the energy to drive her to Monterey today. But this kid is coughing and sneezing like wtf you haven’t coughed or sneezed in five days and today you want to wake up coughing?! Not consistently like he coughed twice and sneezed once in nearly two hours but still. Germs.
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So I’m confused I just got a test results. My ob ran a drug urine test. I have never had one done in any of my previous pregnancies. So wtaf. I’m a little heated. Obviously it came back negative because I don’t do drugs but wtaf like you didn’t tell me/why did you feel the need to run it?!
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Dobs wtf??!! That is a violation if I ever saw one! I would be heated and demanding some answers there. That is beyond messed up!!!!!
So hubs’ shop is out of power. He came home as I posted my last message — glad I tested quick lol
and basically it’s either I test tomorrow IF he goes back to work (unlikely as we are expecting more snow) or I wait until Monday which feels pointless because I’ll be due for af that day.
i know in my heart of hearts it’s over but it’s hard to accept it lol
i guess shae and I will be in the “hoping pull out fails” boat together. Scoot over shae
So hubs’ shop is out of power. He came home as I posted my last message — glad I tested quick lol
and basically it’s either I test tomorrow IF he goes back to work (unlikely as we are expecting more snow) or I wait until Monday which feels pointless because I’ll be due for af that day.
i know in my heart of hearts it’s over but it’s hard to accept it lol
i guess shae and I will be in the “hoping pull out fails” boat together. Scoot over shae
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Dobby my OB office always ran UDS when you went for your lab/confirmation of pregnancy. You didn't see a provider. You peed in a cup and if their test was positive they would run a UDS and collect some blood for other labs. While they never disclosed they were doing a UDs, I never asked either. L&D also do a UDS before admitting from triage.
I think their logic is so they know if women are using substances so they can help counsel them on stopping, etc. I feel like women that are wouldn't want to submit the test and that is why they don't disclose. I definitely see both sides but if it potentially benefits unborn babies then fine. This is just how I see it and fine if you disagree.
Oh no on A having some symptoms.
Gigs I'd say 12dpo. At that point you should have a definitive line on a frer.
Hard to accept you are done having babies? If so, I feel the same sometimes. My DH heals very quick and I do sometimes hope for his "wolverine healing abilities" to result in a late recanalization and we wind up with a surprise bfp one day. Then another part of me goes "well will have to repurchase all the baby stuff, group 2 in the same room, suffer sleep deprivation, teething, less me time, have to get my body back in shape, etc. So let's pass." I wish I could flip a switch and stop that occasional hope for a surprise bfp.
Winter I was going to have S room painted pink if we hadn't moved. Vs was a soft purple/lilac, it was gorgeous. We didn't think a pink room would help sell the house so we held off. Will need to do some work so that we can paint our walls in our new home. That's just far on our to do list.
I think their logic is so they know if women are using substances so they can help counsel them on stopping, etc. I feel like women that are wouldn't want to submit the test and that is why they don't disclose. I definitely see both sides but if it potentially benefits unborn babies then fine. This is just how I see it and fine if you disagree.
Oh no on A having some symptoms.
Gigs I'd say 12dpo. At that point you should have a definitive line on a frer.
Hard to accept you are done having babies? If so, I feel the same sometimes. My DH heals very quick and I do sometimes hope for his "wolverine healing abilities" to result in a late recanalization and we wind up with a surprise bfp one day. Then another part of me goes "well will have to repurchase all the baby stuff, group 2 in the same room, suffer sleep deprivation, teething, less me time, have to get my body back in shape, etc. So let's pass." I wish I could flip a switch and stop that occasional hope for a surprise bfp.
Winter I was going to have S room painted pink if we hadn't moved. Vs was a soft purple/lilac, it was gorgeous. We didn't think a pink room would help sell the house so we held off. Will need to do some work so that we can paint our walls in our new home. That's just far on our to do list.
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Thanks! I did Google it, and I guess it’s a thing. And now I’m like come on people. I was more likely to be doing drugs 11 years ago, should have tested me then! Jk. I did “take a dab” for the first time in my life and, just as predicted, got insanely paranoid from one hit. Confirming I’m better off sans drugs lol. I hope this isn’t against forum rules, I haven’t read them in a min. Not trying to get banned after all these years 
omg gigs that was close! The logical part of me says wait it out, but I know I wouldn’t so lol.
I’ll be over here in my immaculate conception canoe. They’re like so are you gonna be on birth control? Try again? What’s your game plan. Abstinence. That’s the game plan folks. This canoe is a one seater.
omg gigs that was close! The logical part of me says wait it out, but I know I wouldn’t so lol.
I’ll be over here in my immaculate conception canoe. They’re like so are you gonna be on birth control? Try again? What’s your game plan. Abstinence. That’s the game plan folks. This canoe is a one seater.
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Fluek this is awful but my memory sucks. You got the new house, right? How’s it now? Been a few months now, right?
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Yes Fluek I don’t feel done but it’s a recent development. I’ve been bouncing around the idea since the chemical last year. Actually a c/p is what got my wheels turning about ttc#2 if I remember correctly. But it looks like I am going to have to cope with being done, and being thankful for the kiddos I was blessed to have. That’s a pretty darn good consolation prize
also, when I really think about the challenges of a fourth, I know it would be chaos. I am almost ready to potty train ds3 which means we will be finally done with diapers! I am excited about going out with the boys and not having to fret about the diaper bag.
also my kids have such a great dynamic, I’m not sure how a fourth would fit in.
all that said, I’m still going to test one last time when/if I get a chance
oh and regarding the drug testing…I respectfully disagree; I just feel a woman should be fully informed on her medical care. I do see your point on protecting the baby, but in cases of loss what is the reason? I don’t know it rubs me the wrong way lol. But I totally respect your opinion and I’m all about them babies so I get it!
Dobs what did you end up doing? Are you headed to Monterey?
fluek are you getting snow?
also, when I really think about the challenges of a fourth, I know it would be chaos. I am almost ready to potty train ds3 which means we will be finally done with diapers! I am excited about going out with the boys and not having to fret about the diaper bag.
also my kids have such a great dynamic, I’m not sure how a fourth would fit in.
all that said, I’m still going to test one last time when/if I get a chance
oh and regarding the drug testing…I respectfully disagree; I just feel a woman should be fully informed on her medical care. I do see your point on protecting the baby, but in cases of loss what is the reason? I don’t know it rubs me the wrong way lol. But I totally respect your opinion and I’m all about them babies so I get it!
Dobs what did you end up doing? Are you headed to Monterey?
fluek are you getting snow?
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Dobby yes we moved in at the end of July. It has been nice. Much more spacious and nice, peaceful bit of land. We have 6 acres so plenty of land for the girls. We need a bit of excavating done so we still have some mud for now. Hope that will be finished spring or early summer
Gigs yes I am very excited to only have one in diapers. I hope that happens in the next 6 months. I really won't know what to do when I have 0 in diapers lol
Yes supposed to get 2 to 4 inches with snow starting in a few hours. I braved walmart to get S some water resistant gloves lol
Gigs yes I am very excited to only have one in diapers. I hope that happens in the next 6 months. I really won't know what to do when I have 0 in diapers lol
Yes supposed to get 2 to 4 inches with snow starting in a few hours. I braved walmart to get S some water resistant gloves lol
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Done I’m proud of you 
sorry to hear about those lost years. My dad can 100% relate. I get both sides of the drug testing thing. It definitely rubs me the wrong way when they didn’t do it before. It also gets charged to your insurance, so you should be able to refuse that test being done. They do drug screens in the ER a lot but I think it’s more pertinent for emergency care. When someone is completely alert and oriented, I don’t think you should be able to test them for that without permission.
Gigs oooo here for the testing! Also plenty of room in this pull out boat, hop on in!
Winter yay for the heartbeat on the scan! Hopefully all is well, do you have any scan pics?
GUYS.
SO came home the other day and lowered his voice (cuz roommate) and was like “so they don’t know you know, but I told my friends at work today that I’m gonna propose”. Apparently they were very happy for him, one of them said “I need to find a girl worthy of a rock” (his current gf is a cheater and awful to him) and there were definitely some undertones of “took you long enough”. If he’s telling his friends, it’s getting REAL real. He works with his best friend and some other close friends so it’s not just like work acquaintances or anything. I’m not supposed to let them know that I know but he asked for my best friend’s number and he’s going to do a whole planned out thing, obviously he’s keeping the details a secret, I don’t know when or how it’s gonna happen. I’ve been showing people the ring pics at work and I sent them to my sister and she’s been showing her friends at school The company sent me the link to the special order of platinum with yellow gold and I forwarded the email to him, so now it’s all up to him. AHHHHHHH.
sorry to hear about those lost years. My dad can 100% relate. I get both sides of the drug testing thing. It definitely rubs me the wrong way when they didn’t do it before. It also gets charged to your insurance, so you should be able to refuse that test being done. They do drug screens in the ER a lot but I think it’s more pertinent for emergency care. When someone is completely alert and oriented, I don’t think you should be able to test them for that without permission. Gigs oooo here for the testing! Also plenty of room in this pull out boat, hop on in!
Winter yay for the heartbeat on the scan! Hopefully all is well, do you have any scan pics?
GUYS.
SO came home the other day and lowered his voice (cuz roommate) and was like “so they don’t know you know, but I told my friends at work today that I’m gonna propose”. Apparently they were very happy for him, one of them said “I need to find a girl worthy of a rock” (his current gf is a cheater and awful to him) and there were definitely some undertones of “took you long enough”. If he’s telling his friends, it’s getting REAL real. He works with his best friend and some other close friends so it’s not just like work acquaintances or anything. I’m not supposed to let them know that I know
but he asked for my best friend’s number and he’s going to do a whole planned out thing, obviously he’s keeping the details a secret, I don’t know when or how it’s gonna happen. I’ve been showing people the ring pics at work and I sent them to my sister and she’s been showing her friends at school The company sent me the link to the special order of platinum with yellow gold and I forwarded the email to him, so now it’s all up to him. AHHHHHHH.
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Oh Shae! That's so exciting. I wasn't really worried about him changing his mind, but it's so comforting to know he's starting to tell people. You're exactly right. It's getting real! I'm also glad that he's putting thought into it. No matter, it will be a special moment. But still. Let's get real. We're all romantics at heart. Glad that the plat with the yellow gold accent is an option. J/C, how long is the site quoting on production and shipment? Does it say hehehe. Really looking forward to the story! I love me a good engagement story.
Gigs and Fluek I feel you. It's honestly why I don't know if I want to even try with a donor in a year aka the original plan. A is going to be out of daycare in 7 months, and we're totally out of diapers at home. And now that he's getting better with his consistent ABA and speech, we might actually be able to start going on mother/son/family vacations soon or revisit sports in the fall. I do still have all the baby gear except what I gave to friends, and I'm not ready to take back that closet space so we'll see. It's tough to imagine the what ifs and alternate realities.
Re the drug screen, honestly I think I'm just most mad because I got a call the other day when they forgot to cancel one of my prenatal phone appointments. And then to get a test result from a test that I know was from from the pregnancy. Like I know it's covid and a holiday, but y'all really need to get it together with your communication. That's supposed to be the best part of Kaiser. All your info in one place. The geneticist knew right away. As soon as they told me, I got an email from her within a day to offer her condolences. Whatever. I'm over it. And yeah like why wasn't it run any other time? Why now? Did I appear to be on drugs lol?! To be fair, that ob who saw me literally only met me once so probably just doing protocol. Whereas all my other pregnancies it was like I've known that ob for years, so they knew I wasn't on drugs. Idk. I'm over it.
Re Monterey. Can't do it. Doing it means she's really gone. The last time I looked at her, I could feel that she had no earthly attachment to her body anymore. But I'm just not ready to give up my earthly attachment to it. And the house is a mess. We've been stepping over Christmas boxes and duffel bags and dirty/clean laundry for almost two weeks now. I already have load number 3 in the washing machine. So I am very slowly tidying up the house while listening to music and crying.
Gigs and Fluek I feel you. It's honestly why I don't know if I want to even try with a donor in a year aka the original plan. A is going to be out of daycare in 7 months, and we're totally out of diapers at home. And now that he's getting better with his consistent ABA and speech, we might actually be able to start going on mother/son/family vacations soon or revisit sports in the fall. I do still have all the baby gear except what I gave to friends, and I'm not ready to take back that closet space so we'll see. It's tough to imagine the what ifs and alternate realities.
Re the drug screen, honestly I think I'm just most mad because I got a call the other day when they forgot to cancel one of my prenatal phone appointments. And then to get a test result from a test that I know was from from the pregnancy. Like I know it's covid and a holiday, but y'all really need to get it together with your communication. That's supposed to be the best part of Kaiser. All your info in one place. The geneticist knew right away. As soon as they told me, I got an email from her within a day to offer her condolences. Whatever. I'm over it. And yeah like why wasn't it run any other time? Why now? Did I appear to be on drugs lol?! To be fair, that ob who saw me literally only met me once so probably just doing protocol. Whereas all my other pregnancies it was like I've known that ob for years, so they knew I wasn't on drugs. Idk. I'm over it.
Re Monterey. Can't do it. Doing it means she's really gone. The last time I looked at her, I could feel that she had no earthly attachment to her body anymore. But I'm just not ready to give up my earthly attachment to it. And the house is a mess. We've been stepping over Christmas boxes and duffel bags and dirty/clean laundry for almost two weeks now. I already have load number 3 in the washing machine. So I am very slowly tidying up the house while listening to music and crying.
Cooked sushi is a good idea! I might try and make my own just with avocado, cucumber, cooked tuna... Though I told OH I wanted to make some and he was very skeptical oh well, more for me! I was really strict about the food stuff last time, mostly as a mental thing more than anything else. We went for dinner at a colleague of my OH's and they grilled steak. The husband was really sweet and made a big show of mine being well done. I cut into it and it was like medium-rare, but I felt so awkward that I just ate some of it and left the rest. Anyway, going home I felt so worried and guilty, and from then just kind of adhered really strictly to the "food rules". Obviously, my LO was fine etc, but I went a bit mental with anxiety that something would go wrong. So being stupidly OTT about food kind of took that factor out of it if you know what I mean? I also never had even heard of listeria before, so that really freaked me out!
The scan was internal, which is always fun.
It just didn't seem like a top quality machine. They have machines that the ob uses for appts like this. Then they have a much better machine and a tech who does the anatomy scan, any formal growth scans etc. I saw someone's 7w scan in the gender guessing area on BnB, and it looked pretty similar to what I saw, which was reassuring. Not much to do beyond see what happens next week, but it all seemed positive, so going with that.
I don't think anyone should do a drug screen on you before you consent. I also think you should consent if it's a pregnancy thing but
just generally very big on medical autonomy.
Good luck, giggle! Sorry that the odds are so low
If it is any consolation: I think I will always want one more baby. Even if I had 5 right now, I'd be wanting another so, at some stage (likely at either 2 or outside chance 3), I'd have to agree to be done, even though deep done I wouldn't be 100% on board. If nothing else, age eventually rules it out for all of us. Did any of you ever see Ladies of London? It's a terrible Bravo show from a few years ago... One of the women on that had a horrendous 3rd pregnancy. She had a placenta issue, and I think had to have a hysterectomy during the birth. She was really upset about it (as you would be) and her Dr was really kind. He basically said that even after having 3 kids, it is hard to accept you won't have more- she was likely done anyway, but struggled with having that decision taken away. Although very different specifics, I can see how it is hard to be done when you don't feel totally and completely on board with it.
Dobby and Giggle- sorry for your past traumasi don't have any advice or insights to offer beyond saying I'm so sorry, and neither of you deserved whatever happened.
I'm not anti-pink walls. or anti-pink. Some of the tiny baby pyjamas that are pink are beyond adorable. 
If I have a girl, I will buy some pink stuff. I'm just not keen on the everything pink thing. Like pink car seat, pink stroller, all pink wardrobe, all pink toys... Though I wouldn't judge if I went on a playdate and someone had all that. It's just not my thing although with that being said, I had a hot pink cell phone for years because it was like half the price of the regular black design
oh well, more for me! I was really strict about the food stuff last time, mostly as a mental thing more than anything else. We went for dinner at a colleague of my OH's and they grilled steak. The husband was really sweet and made a big show of mine being well done. I cut into it and it was like medium-rare, but I felt so awkward that I just ate some of it and left the rest. Anyway, going home I felt so worried and guilty, and from then just kind of adhered really strictly to the "food rules". Obviously, my LO was fine etc, but I went a bit mental with anxiety that something would go wrong. So being stupidly OTT about food kind of took that factor out of it if you know what I mean? I also never had even heard of listeria before, so that really freaked me out! The scan was internal, which is always fun.
It just didn't seem like a top quality machine. They have machines that the ob uses for appts like this. Then they have a much better machine and a tech who does the anatomy scan, any formal growth scans etc. I saw someone's 7w scan in the gender guessing area on BnB, and it looked pretty similar to what I saw, which was reassuring. Not much to do beyond see what happens next week, but it all seemed positive, so going with that. I don't think anyone should do a drug screen on you before you consent. I also think you should consent if it's a pregnancy thing but
just generally very big on medical autonomy. Good luck, giggle! Sorry that the odds are so low
If it is any consolation: I think I will always want one more baby. Even if I had 5 right now, I'd be wanting another so, at some stage (likely at either 2 or outside chance 3), I'd have to agree to be done, even though deep done I wouldn't be 100% on board. If nothing else, age eventually rules it out for all of us. Did any of you ever see Ladies of London? It's a terrible Bravo show from a few years ago... One of the women on that had a horrendous 3rd pregnancy. She had a placenta issue, and I think had to have a hysterectomy during the birth. She was really upset about it (as you would be) and her Dr was really kind. He basically said that even after having 3 kids, it is hard to accept you won't have more- she was likely done anyway, but struggled with having that decision taken away. Although very different specifics, I can see how it is hard to be done when you don't feel totally and completely on board with it. Dobby and Giggle- sorry for your past traumas
i don't have any advice or insights to offer beyond saying I'm so sorry, and neither of you deserved whatever happened. I'm not anti-pink walls.
or anti-pink. Some of the tiny baby pyjamas that are pink are beyond adorable. If I have a girl, I will buy some pink stuff. I'm just not keen on the everything pink thing. Like pink car seat, pink stroller, all pink wardrobe, all pink toys... Though I wouldn't judge if I went on a playdate and someone had all that. It's just not my thing although with that being said, I had a hot pink cell phone for years because it was like half the price of the regular black design
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I don’t think I can get away with testing on 12dpo, which will be Sunday, ie hubby will be home. I could try to sneak away with “bathroom issues” but sometimes he still comes in the room; he’ll be suspicious if the door is locked. The only hope is of he takes a nap, a possibility…we’ll see!
I’m just trying to be logical about it. In my heart I know there is no reason for me to think that it may happen this month when it’s no different than any other month… And then my heart is like, well it is different, a little bit…we dtd like 5 nights in a row leading up to and including ov day. And at least one if not two of those sessions he’d been drinking….
But mostly I’m just really hopeful. That’s about it lol
I’m just trying to be logical about it. In my heart I know there is no reason for me to think that it may happen this month when it’s no different than any other month… And then my heart is like, well it is different, a little bit…we dtd like 5 nights in a row leading up to and including ov day. And at least one if not two of those sessions he’d been drinking….
But mostly I’m just really hopeful. That’s about it lol
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Winter I think you’re right and I’ve heard from many women that the broodiness never goes away. I think that it’s still possible for me is what’s doing my head in. If my tubes where tied and it was totally off the table I think that would be easier…but making that choice would not be. I always assumed we’d know when we were done so i could have a tubal during a c section but we weren’t 100% after #3. Oh well.
I’ve never heard of ladies of London… Worth checking out?
while we are on the topic of shows, if anybody has any suggestions of things worth checking out on prime let me know!
Dobs Every day tasks can feel like such a chore when you’re grieving. I tend to neglect chores when I’m sad, but I’m a big time rage cleaner. Piss me off, and I am scrubbing dishes like a mad woman. Solidarity on the laundry day today… Working on folding load one of four.
maybe treat you and that sweet little to some ice cream
I’ve never heard of ladies of London… Worth checking out?
while we are on the topic of shows, if anybody has any suggestions of things worth checking out on prime let me know!
Dobs Every day tasks can feel like such a chore when you’re grieving. I tend to neglect chores when I’m sad, but I’m a big time rage cleaner. Piss me off, and I am scrubbing dishes like a mad woman. Solidarity on the laundry day today… Working on folding load one of four.
maybe treat you and that sweet little to some ice cream
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