General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[gigglebox]

Feel free to vent away here! And goodness don’t beat yourself up too much — look at that boy! He’s all smiles!

grr I was going to sneaky test tomorrow but we’re snowed in so hubby is home. Also I hid my tests in the car until i could sneak them inside so I can’t even stealth test while he’s distracted. Hmmphh *pouting*

i feel like a crazy ttc-er symptom spotting. Except I’m not ttc and have zero reason to hope, haha. I guess stranger things have happened…sorry y’all this month is doing my head in and I have no idea why

 

[DobbyForever]

I just want company and I’m too Panay to be like pay attention to me. So whatever. They have better things to do.

gigs oh man it’s hard not to symptom spot. I thought I couldn’t get a bfp between the timing and the way my temps looked but apparently lol. So you never know. Happy to go on the ride with you

thanks. Just piss poor timing with this isolation

 

[DobbyForever]

I just want her back. I don’t understand why she’s gone

 

[shaescott]

Dobs I’m so sorry

 

[Flueky88]

Dobby I wish there was something I could do or say that would give your baby girl back to you to take away the pain.

Gigs, lol also I feel better about having taken hpts in secret from DH. I dunno but I feel weirded out with him watching me POAS or rather In a cup.

Pretty lovely haul from children's place

Winter still lots of positive thoughts for tomorrow

Shae I'm glad yiur father was able to turn his life around. I hate that it affected you and your sister.

 

[DobbyForever]

 

[DobbyForever]

So my mom was like I’m eating can I call you later. Keep in mind she knows wtf is going on. So I called her 3 hours later and she’s like, “I’m gonna poop while you’re complaining” and people wonder why I’m f*ed up inthe head

 

[tdog]

Dobs that sucks that family don't even want to listen to you cry out in actual fact I hate when family ain't there to support you the way they should when they no how low your feeling xx

 

[gigglebox]

Dobs I am so sorry you’re going through this basically alone. If I lived closer I’d cry with you into some Taco Bell. All I can say is I truly believe negative circumstances have positive ripple effects that show themselves down the road.

i hope your mom was a bit more empathetic if you ended up talking to her. If not I hope you can find comfort venting here

afm hubs is home again so no testing for me definitely getting some weird “symptoms” but I’m sure it’s coincidence. I did have a vivid dream last night where hubs got me a gift basket that had balloons tied to it; the balloons has posty notes on them, each with one letter, and they spelled out “YOU’RE PREGNANT!” i started crying and saying “how do you know? I don’t even know!” I think he said I ha been so moody lately (I was super irritable last night irl) but before he could explain further, kid3 woke me up. Grrrr

 

[tdog]

Dobs I am so sorry you’re going through this basically alone. If I lived closer I’d cry with you into some Taco Bell. All I can say is I truly believe negative circumstances have positive ripple effects that show themselves down the road.

i hope your mom was a bit more empathetic if you ended up talking to her. If not I hope you can find comfort venting here

afm hubs is home again so no testing for me definitely getting some weird “symptoms” but I’m sure it’s coincidence. I did have a vivid dream last night where hubs got me a gift basket that had balloons tied to it; the balloons has posty notes on them, each with one letter, and they spelled out “YOU’RE PREGNANT!” i started crying and saying “how do you know? I don’t even know!” I think he said I ha been so moody lately (I was super irritable last night irl) but before he could explain further, kid3 woke me up. Grrrr

Oh I hate that have an amazing dream to be woken either but alarm or kids mainly kids I was so intrieged there how rude of the kids xx

 

[WinterBub]

Sorry for the rough night, Dobby. I'm quite jealous of that little gym! What kind of stuff does he do on it? And I second that I'd love to come hang with some taco bell I think that people who are out of the small kid/pregnancy phase forget what all this is like. I signed a card from "OH, Me and Baby" when I was pretty heavily pregnant, and my Mom made fun of me for putting the baby on there because he "wasn't a real person". I just laughed and was like wtf (I would've been 3rd tri by then!), but I think that people forget or may not remember that what you're going through is a real death and is real grief. sorry you don't feel more supported.

I think the substance abuse idea just raises red flags, as most of us probably know somebody who has let it more or less ruin their lives. (I'm sorry for all you went through, Shae ) I hadn't wanted to get into on here- but basically my brother is an alcoholic and he's flushed his life down the toilet. Kind of gradually, and then all of a sudden. He and his wife have two kids and there was lots of weird stuff going on. I knew it was weird, but we didn't see them often (like 2 times in 5 years), so really had no idea how bad it was until it all came out. He lost his (high paying) job, my parents found him in some weird skid row hotel after his wife called them (tried multiple treatments since then but nothing has worked), and he and my SIL went through a really vicious break up in the end. Just all so pointless and unnecessary. Seemingly, they had other issues in their relationship etc, but his drinking basically blew up the marriage, his job, his health. So... I don't think what you're saying about yourself is anywhere near his league, but tread carefully if you know there's an issue... If you know what I mean? Hopefully again this comes across the way I intend it to...

So, had my scan and got mostly good but slightly mixed news. She started scanning, and I couldn't see anything, so was just bracing for bad news. And then she said she could see a heartbeat. The sac measured 7+2 (which would make sense datewise as we didn't BD the week before, when I thought I had ovulated). And she said she was "pretty sure" all was looking good. She just couldn't see and measure the baby as it was "up against the placenta". So it was kind of like black sac, grey all around and flicker on the side in part of the grey area. she said if the baby was in the middle of the sac, she'd see it all clearly defined. But basically need to go back next week to check again. can't believe it- I'd been so built up for a definitive answer and didn't get it. Choosing to laugh, as otherwise I'll cry. But, all the little bits of info seem to make sense, and this was worlds more positive than the first scan for what ended up as the MMC. So, I'm assuming all is well and im 7 weeks, due around August 21. Like i said, pregnancy and parenting has been a big lesson in trying (yet often failing) to learn patience for me!

 

[gigglebox]

That’s awesome winter!!! Measuring well for what you can see and a hb!! PLUS a bonus scan!! That all sounds great to me. Congratulations!!!

afm been shoveling out our 500+ foot driveway, then clearing 10+ inches of snow off my car so we can get a delivery of duck food tomorrow. My arms are noodles. I DEFINITELY count this as a workout! I was also able to leave for the post office to ship peoples’ packages and am hoping the mexican joint is open so I can get some ceviche. Not really craving anything but that’s what sounds most appetizing right now.

 

[tdog]

That’s awesome winter!!! Measuring well for what you can see and a hb!! PLUS a bonus scan!! That all sounds great to me. Congratulations!!!

afm been shoveling out our 500+ foot driveway, then clearing 10+ inches of snow off my car so we can get a delivery of duck food tomorrow. My arms are noodles. I DEFINITELY count this as a workout! I was also able to leave for the post office to ship peoples’ packages and am hoping the mexican joint is open so I can get some ceviche. Not really craving anything but that’s what sounds most appetizing right now.

So jealous about all the snow I want some can I come and play xx

@WinterBub that's fab that she saw a hb and you get to see baby again yey xx

 

[gigglebox]

Project Eat Ceviche was a success! Project bring the hpt's inside without SO knowing also a success!

tdog I don't mind the snow one bit! The only downer is it was super heavy wet snow and it broke a LOT of trees around here. We have a ton in our woods broken. I saw a lot when I was driving around. Some downed trees actually fell on some power lines and knocked out the power at hubby's work so he stayed home again. Not sure if he'll be home again tomorrow....if he is it'll be hard to sneak in a test :/ not that I am expecting a darn thing but it's still fun.

 

[tdog]

Gigs a success all round then I really really love snow when I was a kid it was up to my waste, right now I'm lucky if it touches my toes that is what I call proper snow xx

 

[DobbyForever]

Shae, I’m sorry for the delayed response. If I’m being fully transparent, I was having a can’t digest anything longer than two sentences moment. I’m sorry those memories came back, and that you went through that. I’m sorry that things had to get really bad before they got better, but I am glad that they did and he’s an amazing father now.

You all are wonderful. I don’t take offense to anything you’ve said. I’d be more worried if nobody said anything because it is a very tricky and very dangerous line to flirt with. I just really want to break the cycle for A, so I get really disappointed in myself if I’m passed buzzed in front of him. And yesterday, while I was still very much giddy and playful drunk, I was at a level that I don’t want to be in front of him. So all the alcohol went down the drain this morning. Like I love my family, but there's just so much generational trauma that was passed down on both sides. I just want A to have the best life possible.

Gigs, sorry that the testing didn’t work out! That dream sounds so lovely! But also so hard when you wake up after a dream like that and reality sets in. Anxiously awaiting your test. I know his pull out game is strong, but you never know! Wow! Clearing snow definitely sounds like a workout to me. Hope the delivery comes through smoothly. And that the restaurant is open! Jk just saw that it was haha win! So sorry about the trees! And I was going to ask why was hubs home but now I know haha. Does he like it when he gets to work from home? Or is it one of those jobs that is easier on site?

Winter I’m so sorry that you didn’t get definitive reassurance at the scan due to the positioning. That’s so frustrating. But yay for a heartbeat at 7w! That’s really great news! I’m glad that the measurement on the sac is consistent with the bd timing. Also great news! I feel like a broken record LOL but to echo Gigs again exactly my thoughts, woohoo for a bonus scan! And thanks! It's pretty bare because I never decorated the room itself. Just has a second bookshelf and the rocking chair in the corner. There's a fisher price slide, his soccer goal, a fisher price basketball hoop, the gym bar, the ball pit, and some annoying alligator ball toy thing. He's over soccer now, so it's mostly the ball pit/slide/bar that he plays with. He also has a trampoline downstairs lol. This kid is spoiled. The formal dining room is his man cave, he has his bedroom, and then that gym room. I'm pretty sure he's going to eventually be diagnosed with ADHD, they said the type of sensory processing disorder he has tends to develop into ADHD. So the gym/trampoline were our saving grace during the lockdown.

Re Taco Bell. I’d so be down for a taco binge fest lol. I’d order all the things haha.

Re my mom, this is just her. She can’t handle when her kids are sad and there’s no immediate fix, so she just either shuts down or yells. She did call an hour later because I sent kind of a b*y text about it, and I think my brother yelled at her. But by that time I was over it and didn’t want to talk to her, just wanted to go to bed. It’s just frustrating because my therapist will be like talk to your family about x,y,z but if I try they all freak the eff out. Then I get criticized for being stoic all the time. Can’t win. I do appreciate being able to vent here. My two close friends have been great, and my grandmother did talk to me a little about it this morning. She calls every day, but mostly to check on A but today was the first time she asked really how I was doing.

AFM spent all morning getting these at home kits from my district. It was insane! They ended up having to have the police department come out to manage traffic and a*hat people. I was there at 9:40 and got home at 11:50! (I live 15m away) I didn't have any snacks for A, though we did stop at McD's for his "cheese" (english muffin with two slices of cheese and he just eats the cheese... .... ...) and thankfully he snuck the iPad in the car, so I just turned on a hotspot. He was surprisingly good in the line (was supposed to be drive through but then it got so busy cops told us to park our cars and walk in). I was like ERMMMMMM we have germs but whatever you say, hot cop. Just boss me around. That's how I like it Absolutely bonkers. And of course it came back negative. I do have a pcr scheduled on Saturday and at work they do PCR apparently. Not going to lie, I was planning to be out anyway with grievance but I wouldn’t be mad about using these use them or lose them COVID sick days. I also just got my “don’t infect your household” kit from Kaiser LOL like what good is this going to do me? And what if I actually had a household to protect. I feel bad about sending A to school. I know he’s cleared by his doctor, but golly I’d feel like crap if we gave it to anybody somehow. And in last news, I got my charger! So my old phone is charging right now lol.

 

[DobbyForever]

Phone saga update I can’t tell if this was the phone. I swear it was because I had a screenshot of a convo and it’s clearly a Samsung not iPhone conversation. I’m pretty sure I only had a Samsung once. My texts only go back to august of that year but I do have photos from June. Call log goes back to August as well. One name jumped out to me in the contacts but it’s such a common name and I don’t know anything about him to Google him. I could be weird and text but I dated a lot A LOT of creepy guys around that time. Including A’d dad and wall guy so some sleeping dogs better left alone lol

ETA my temp is 99.8 and idk if I want to send A to school because obviously the forehead reader is inaccurate as it’s saying I’m 96.

 

[Flueky88]

Dobby glad you were able to pour it out. Also, hmm that is tough about the school situation. I guess just monitor.

Oof, yeah I probably wouldn't message in case it's not him.

Gigs I'm still a bit jealous how much snow you got lol. We are actually supposed to get more tomorrow afternoon through Friday morning. 2 to 4 inches but we shall see.

Yes. Count that as a workout for sure. That really is a lot of work. And yay for sneaking the hpts inside. How many do are you tomorrow? Oh and that dream is funny. I hope it comes true (well as far as the being pregnant part)

Winter fantastic scan news! It really sounds very positive and so nice to get another scan. I remember when they scanned me with my 1st. I was 7 weeks and they tried abdominal. I was a bit overweight and because I was early with my 1st they couldn't see baby. It scared me so much. They found baby once they tried transvag through

 

[WinterBub]

Thank you for the scan positivity I was happy in the moment, then after I left started to worry that she'd been BSing me somewhat.... But that's not really my OB's style She's VERY direct usually, so I think she really did think all looked good. I also hadnt thought of another scan as a good thing, but you're right- bonus scan I think I'll be anxious the whole way through, but trying to keep that in check and enjoy any good news.

Dobby- glad you poured your booze out. It is a really incredibly useful thing to hold yourself to a certain standard. (I need to do the same re: money ). A is lucky to have you You are clearly a really loving Mom, and I have no doubt he'll turn out to be a happy, wonderful man.

Giggle- love you sneaking the tests in . I have FXed you will get a BFP. Bump buddies! I wonder whether you are re: the dream, or that's really your hearts' desire and you're working through it when you sleep. Also- your food stop sounds amazing! I wish I'd had sushi before I got pregnant I haven't had it for like 4 years now and finally we got a lead on a good place. Ahhh well, maybe next Christmastime?! And shovelling snow is definitely a work out. I do so much better when I have an active lifestyle vs having to actively decide to go do something active.

Ok- My tablet is being weird, and keeps messing with my text whenever I try and scroll up, so I'm going to post this before I lose it! Apologies if I missed anyone/commenting on any news.

 

[gigglebox]

Actually that’s a good point, dod they try the probe or just abdominal scan? Not that it would probably make much of a difference but I am curious. I think my early scans were always trans vag, except for the one by the ob I really didn’t like (i think that was ds2); i had to practically beg her for an u/s at 6ish weeks just to see if we could see anything (I was very nervous as it was after the m/c). She was really rude about it, then finally agreed but only did an abdominal scan. I mean come on I was only 6ish weeks! I was annoyed. I saw her another time when I was sick and she had just as lovely bedside manner. After that I specifically requested not to see that doctor again.

anyway.

to answer your question Flueky, I’ll be 9dpo tomorrow. We’re also due for more snow tomorrow night. They’re only calling for 1-3” though, but considering they said 4-8 last time and we nearly got 14…..we’ll just have to see. Seems to be their predictions are usually quite off either by claiming much more or much less that was falls. I wouldn’t be surprised if we just get a dusting.

dobs can you take your temp in your mouth then the forehead, see the difference, then take A’s again and compensate for that difference? I hope y’all can get back to your normal routine soon.

dobs not to encourage internet stalking…but didn’t you know where he was from? A name and his locale may be enough…just thinking out loud