General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[DobbyForever]

Winter, I’m so sorry that you weren’t able to walk out with definitive answers. Honestly, a shoddy machine can really throw off measurements. I’m a bit annoyed they used the same one again knowing it was acting up. Do they not have other ultrasounds?! That’s ridiculous. I’m keeping my FXed. No more cramping/bleeding, right? And the heartbeat at 153 is absolutely wonderful! Such a strong hb for 7w. A’s was only 128 at 6w4d and then about 140 at his nt scan/the rest of my pregnancy. So that’s really promising even if the measurements are behind. I know you weren’t sure of ovulation, but what CDs did you have sex? Did you have sex at all about 5w ago? I’m sorry, I don’t remember when you got your first positive. I know they said the sac was 7w a week ago, but if the machine is crap and the tech wasn’t being accurate, I’ve seen them be off by up to a week with the sac measurements. I’m assuming they didn’t run hcg since they saw the hb? I’ll be praying for you and little beanie. I am glad they’re following up in 2 weeks. Hugs hugs hugs

Fluek yeah. I mean I could have easily not checked my email, but I knew it was going to be a s* storm. It’s also just frustrating that every time I come up with a plan to take her to Monterey, something comes up. And I could have probably just said sorry guys I’m out. But that’s what I do. I’m addicted to self sacrifice. It’s a complex. There were two uncovered jobs today as well at the site, so many teachers lost their prep. That’s awesome about one side being fenced. I can’t imagine how much it must cost to fence in that much land.

Pretty also thinking of you! Hope you’re feeling alright and agree that you got to see your kids.

AFM I’m exhausted. Anxiety had me up until past midnight. Got to work right at the bell this morning. Play went well. I don’t know if it’s because my cousin had her daughter last night or because I work with kids or because today was the first day that I didn’t need a liner or because I’m exhausted or because I’m just a wreck, but it was so hard to be at work. I cried the entire lunch break. I had to ask my kids who "won" the play this morning five times, and they were like wtaf is wrong with you. You've asked us 5x in the last 30 minutes, and you were the one who did the scoresheet. Sigh

 

[Flueky88]

Dobby so sorry today was hard. I hope you find the time to take her to Monterrey. I also can relate. I often check my emails when I'm off. I worry that someone will send me a time sensitive records request. Legit there are some that I only have hours to complete. They are few and far between but still.


AFM I've graduated PT. I haven't met my goals but I feel positive that I can accomplish them with continued time and effort.

I lost about 2 lbs from last week, yay!

Not much else I can think of. I hope that everyone manages to have a good week.

 

[WinterBub]

Im sorry, Dobby you've been through a lot and not had a proper chance to process and grieve because of Christmas and then your covid saga. How did you go today? Will you have a chance to take her to the beach any time soon? Is there anything you can do to relax in the evening? I know I need to get to bed earlier, because being tired just amplifies all my negative feelings. Can you treat yourself to some nice restaurant or take out at least? I just find sometimes those little things can take the edge off, you know?

Thank you both for the support. I don't know what to think- I had been building both scans up as the be all and end all- like if they went well, then all would be well. So, the confusion and sort of drama of it all just threw me into a spin. I had been nervous about the scans, but also hopeful and excited. Now I just feel flat and worried about everything. I'm worried I'll have another MMC, worried there will be bad news at the genetic test, worried basically that something is wrong and I just don't know what I don't know. We basically both came to the conclusion that this is the last try. The worrying and sadness is definitely hormone related, and also seemingly related to the MMC. I didn't cry after the fact at all, and I guess I'd buried how awful it all was. Like I know clinically that it was unpleasant, but I haven't acknowledged to myself how awful the experience really was. Anyway. Nothing to do but wait. We definitely DTD 5 weeks ago. But I also had a clear bfp by Dec 13. So, it's possible but seems like a stretch. And this is how the MMC happened- was measuring behind. Although in fairness it was way, way behind (ie. measured 6w, when I should've been 10).

That's awesome re: the PT, Flueky. If you've built the exercises and life changes into your life, then I'm sure you'll be successful in keeping it all going. And that's fantastic on the weight loss. I put on a lb and a half in a week, so looks like we're trading

Pretty- been thinking of you, and hope you're feeling better. I hope you worked out what to do about isolating and everything else

Shae- hope all's well on your end. What did you end up deciding about your app and charting etc?

Giggle- hope all's well and AF isn't too brutal.

Tdog- hope you're well, too!

 

[DobbyForever]

Fluek that’s so awesome! Congrats on 2 more lbs!!! Right?! I feel like it’s such a crazy American work culture that we will be off work but still checking emails. Congratulations on graduating PT! I’m sorry that you haven’t quite met your goals, but that’s great that you feel you can make it to them independently.

Winter I am crossing my fingers. I mean when I get my first bfps, I’m usually like 3.5-4w. I may not be counting correctly because exhaustion, but if the bfp was 12/13 and we call that 3-4w then today would be 7w2d-8w2d. Please feel free to point out if I’ve counted wrong though. I really do feel for you. It sucks to go in feeling like you’ll finally have answers and end up walking out with more questions. I’m rooting for little beanie. I also think you get several days buffer for the machine being stinky. Really hoping that strong hb means you’ve got a little warrior in there.

Thanks ladies. Today was hard. My coworkers are starting to notice that I’m not talking to anybody and have my headphones in, so they’re starting to corner me and ask if I’m ok. I am grateful that they care, but also like… clearly I’m avoiding you all for a reason. So I cried in front of my students when one literally walked into my room and was like are you ok and I’m not obviously not lol. It’s weird. Work is usually my escape. But at lunch break I just find myself crying in my room, but the kids eat in the pod right in front of my room so then I end up going to the parking lot to cry in peace and get it together. It’s just crazy how now that she’s gone I can see her in my life. And even in those moments when it’s so difficult and I think wow I could never handle this moment with an infant, I hate that I don’t even get to try and struggle through it. It just hurts. It’s just so different from my other losses because there was an element of control to it. Like oh yeah you have a giant cyst and it’s our medical opinion that you proceed this way vs I had no say in this. I wanted her. I loved her. Idk. I trust that there’s a plan and this happened for a reason. That reason being that I have no business having a second kid let alone a girl. But f* I miss her so much. So much. I miss the bloat and the headaches and the nausea. I would take it all back in a heartbeat to have her back. I had my follow up phone call with my ob, and she was like everything sounds normal. Take a test in two weeks, if it’s not neg then we’ll scan you. I know it’ll be negative by then though. I test every other day. Down to 0.2 the other day, so I’m sure within the week it’ll be gone.

 

[WinterBub]

Oh Dobby, I'm so sorry

Could it be that reality finally hit? You had a manic run of events there, and you were just getting through it, and now it's real? I'm sorry you lost her, and I'm sorry you lost all those future hopes and dreams. I wish that you still had her, and I'm so sorry that you don't. It's just sh*t, isn't it?

Your baby was loved, and she knew it. I'm sure of that.

I hope you're right about my situation. It just all seems not quite right. I need to either sit down and do the math or just accept that what is meant to be will be, and wait to see what happens.

 

[DobbyForever]

Hugs. Definitely reality hit. I think thats why I cry at lunch. My prep runs into lunch most days of the week, so I don't have kids from 11:40-1:15. And since I was planning to be out, my prep for the week is done. So I just sit there with my thoughts. Which is what I need. I just need some self care and time to cry.

Nothing wrong with just waiting to see. Once you open that can of worms and overanalyzing, it's hard not to stop. How are you feeling otherwise?

In other news, the sped team is taking pettiness to a whole new low. I emailed them because it's been two business weeks since I requested a part two to address issues with the IEP/ ed code violations. I told them I've lost childcare in the morning, so I'm only available during the business day or after school. So guess when they scheduled the meeting? 7:00am.... .... ... The one hour I specifically said I cannot meet. Like who the f*, what the f*. I told my mom, this is just disgusting behavior. It doesn't bother me. I dated my ex. Nothing anybody can do to me at this point can even touch the hell he put me through, so bring it. But what deplorable pos f*s over a four year old just to be petty?!

 

[WinterBub]

Hope today is going better, Dobby it will get better, and it is healthy to grieve. Sending you a hug for today. Glad you won't let SPED push you around... Some people just love to make things difficult. Wield whatever power they have etc hope you get it all sorted out.

I saw the Supreme Court mandate outcome, Flueky. I'm sorry that it looks like it will impact you

 

[gigglebox]

Hi y'all, I wasn't getting my notices so didn't know to check in! I'm hanging in there, came down with a head cold shortly after my last post. I'm ok now, just a residual runny nose with that lovely nasally voice. But otherwise good

Winter -- are you the type of person who has a hard time speaking on your own behalf? I don't mean that in an offensive way...just wondering if you might be able to call and see about getting a scan again sooner with a different machine? Do they possibly have a different location at another office? That just seems kind of bogus that you'd get nearly the same treatment and answer as last time. All that said, I am with dobs, 7ish weeks sounds correct to me...? if you bd'ed 5 weeks ago, you add 2 weeks to that for a rough date on your last period/when they'd date a pregnancy by, which give you 7 weeks....? Or maybe I'm getting it wrong...?

Dobby biggest hugs my friend. I am so sorry for your loss. Maybe you ARE meant to have that daughter -- maybe all this envisioning life with a little girl isn't this one, but another? You never know what the future holds. Anyway I hope you are able to get to Monterey soon, and that it can provide you some closure.

 

[gigglebox]

Shae you hanging in there OK? There is a very big lack of commentary from you and I'm hoping you're alright!

 

[WinterBub]

Funny you say that- I used to have a hard time speaking up for myself. Honestly, I've had so many bad haircuts because I found it too awkward to say that I didn't like what they were doing having a baby more or less cured me of that. I did request a different machine during the appt this week, and they did move me and have the tech do a scan on the better machine. All looked good if I am indeed 7w right now. My worry is that I'm meant to be further along, and therefore measuring 7w is a bad sign. My CD1 was Nov 7, clear BFP Dec 13. Previous cycle was 4w6d. So, 7w is possible... Just doesn't seem quite right. I also must have had a very early BFP in that case. I do have MS and fatigue etc, but feels less full on than with my LO.

Glad your cold seems to have been a short lived thing, Giggle! Do you follow the school calendar of your district? Or do you do your homeschooling all year/at your own pace? What kind of stuff are you doing at the moment?

How was today, Dobby? Did you get the SPED issue sorted? Is there still drama going on at A's daycare? Omicron is meant to go down as fast as it went up, so fingers crossed all of those issues settle down.

 

[Flueky88]

Winter I meant to comment before that I have had a lot of coworkers recommend Destin. It would probably be my pick. As for the mandate, *sighs* I just hope that the healthcare workforce won't become stripped so thin that people die because workers quit their jobs and everyone is short staffed. There is already a nursing shortage. I am vaccinated and will most likely get my booster in the near future but it was my decision. I think we have a right to choose.

I hope that you have good news in 2 weeks. The first tri is awful between symptoms and worrying. I had early bfps with 2 of my 3 so I think it's possible.

Dobby thinking of you.

Gigs glad the cold was short-lived.

Shae hope you are doing well


Sorry for short responses. I'm worn out mentally. Got a toy purge completed though

 

[DobbyForever]

Sorry quick post I’m in so much pain. I was just laying down watching tv and my freaking left ovary is killing me which triggered my back to hurt. I was really in the mood a few days back for a couple days. I know my hcg is low. And I know I ovulated from the other side. Just wondering if my body is trying to O which is like a kick me when I’m down. Ffs it hurts so much not like we pain but solid 6-7/10

 

[gigglebox]

Fluek I choose not to discuss the covid stuff but I will say that I feel for you and 100% agree, choice be with the individual. YAY for a toy purge!!! I need to do another one myself. Actually I really need to do a book purge. My goodness we have a ton of books!

dobby ugh ov pain i feel ya there, mine is way worse than period pains by far. I hope they ease up soon. On the plus side I feel like this is a sign your hormones are all going back to normal. If you were still producing hCG, you would not be ovulating… Silver lining?

Winter, yes, we school year around so that we can do it in shorter amounts each day. We also rotate subjects daily instead of doing every subject every day. I started doing it that way because my son had trouble switching too quickly from topic to topic, and we just stuck with it. we are using “the good and the beautiful” for math and he loves it. Right now he is learning how to do advanced time telling, like calculating how long tasks will take, and multiplying multiple digit numbers by single digit numbers. We are more “unschoolers” For the other subjects, meaning we kind of make it up as we go. As an example, and writing, I gave him a writing prompt at Christmas time for why he should get presents for Christmas. It was a practice in persuasive writing. We also use time for learning to supplement his education, or get ideas for new topics. I think I am going to try ABC mouse Academy for him because he really liked the original ABC mouse. I think the Academy is for ages 8 to 12.

looking at your dates, if your LMP was 1 December, doesn’t it put you right at 7 to 8 weeks? Honestly your dates sound OK to me! I think you are just fine, and that little baby cake is cooking nicely in that oven! My unsolicited advice: don’t pay attention to your symptoms, or at least don’t compare them to your last pregnancy. Every pregnancy truly is different! At least that has been my personal experience.

 

[Flueky88]

Dobby oh man. Painful O sucks. I don't remember feeling O before my 1st pp period after E but the O after that 1 pp period....OMG it was awful. I had to lie down from it. In any case, I'm sorry it's not only physically painful but emotionally/mentally.

Gigs thank you. I appreciate the support. Yes those toy purges are the best. We didn't get rid of a lot but did get rid of some bulky things.


.

 

[DobbyForever]

Winter thanks, unfortunately the stuff with the SPED team is just constant petty. We have our part 2 in a week, and I’m just going to CTJ. There’s not way I’m enrolling him now, but I am going to file a complaint with the state. It’s not okay because I have the option to keep him in a private preschool with private services, but what about families who don’t have those resources?

The daycare thankfully will be able to open at 7 next week. I’ve been using the extra time to go acquire treats for the staff for morale lol. So Wed I did coffee and bagels from Panera. Today I just grabbed a hodgepodge of cupcakes and scones and muffins. He was 1 of 4 today, and his usual teacher is back.

I am still pulling for you just having a delayed ovulation. If that bfp was at 12/13 then the dating totally makes sense. I didn’t want to ask because I wasn’t sure if you already said, but with your loss before measuring behind was there still such a strong heartbeat? I second Gigs that symptoms can vary so much, best not to overthink the difference.

Gigs sorry about the cold but glad it was short lived. I was starting to worry about you! Thanks. Idk. The dating pool is still as scary as anything, and I think by the time I’m in a financial spot to have a second kid solo then I’d be too accustomed that lifestyle to give it up. Just have to to hope Aiden marries someone who thinks I’m cool and will do mani/pedis with me and go shopping and let me be an overly indulgent and involved grandmother. Love it! I was just thinking today how we crammed in so little of so many things, I bet the kids are on overload and couldn’t even tell you what they learned. And exactly there’s so many ways to tie in those “standard skills” in daily life organically.

Flueky I agree I’m sorry. I know how stressed you were when the mandate first came out. I’m hoping it doesn’t hit as hard as expected but maybe that’s naive. It’s so hard already to think of just the physical and emotional strain it’ll put on healthcare workers, but to think it could even lead to deaths that could have been avoided. Hugs. Kudos on the purge! Getting back chunks of space is so nice. I’m a huge sheep, so I’m happy to trade a fair amount for protection but I agree that people should absolutely have control over their body. Exactly, I chose to get vaccinated and bolstered and I choose to get tested weekly at work. I would hate it if I was forced. Especially if it was something I didn’t believe in.

Shae if I haven’t said it lately, I hope you’re ok.

Re the O yeah I’m confused. I usually have 1-2 anovulatory cycles after, so I found it so odd that I was in the mood. And my hcg isn’t completely gone. I’m still registering at 0.2 on my opks So it’s not a lot of hcg but it’s enough that I’d think I wouldn’t be ovulating. Thankfully it’s gone now whatever that pain was. Would be curious to see if I bleed in 12 days though.

Thank you all. It’s been so nice to come and vent here. I’m definitely into full on work mode now, so I’m not dealing with my feelings which is exhausting me.

 

[WinterBub]

Maybe you're all right, and the dates are fine. The stress of the multiple scans and crappy machine didn't help. And it was just so way off what I had thought that it really sent me into a tizzy. No, the MMC never had a good heartbeat like that. So, it is true that that is a good sign. Thank you all for the encouragement.

That's so sweet of you to treat the staff, Dobby. I'm sure they've been totally stressed out and really appreciate it. I'm not always good at it, but really do try to say thank you when you know someone has gone out of their way to do something for you/a good job etc. it does sound like O, but then again I don't know what my own body does let alone what yours is doing if you do decide you want another baby, I hope you go for it! But with that being said, there are advantages to having just one. We know a couple with a kindergartner, and I don't know if they chose to just have him or had trouble etc- but he has the best life. His Mom is at every event, always the one involved and volunteering in everything. She gets to be so involved because it's just him. And he's a really lovely little boy.

Your school schedule sounds pretty awesome, giggle. I was always the kind to leave essays etc until the last minute, so I feel like I would do a bad job at making sure we were doing school work and a good balance of stuff every day I have seen people advocating for year round school, because apparently kids lose a lot over the summer break. So makes sense to use your flexibility to your advantage. I've seen the ads for ABC Mouse, it does look good. I might give that a try over the summer with my LO. He loves puzzles and tasks, and would probably really like it. Have you ever looked into Kumon? That's meant to be amazing- I know they have tutoring centers, but they also do books and stuff.

I've been on a whole journey with the covid stuff. It has honestly made me totally rethink a lot of how I perceive the world. But Ill leave it there! It definitely should be a personal choice. And you can't make up some of the stupidity. Healthy unvaccinated nursing staff can't work, but they want to force people they know are positive to work in those same jobs. I mean I really hope it is ok for you, flueky. Both for your patients and for you personally. It sucks for the people who get fired, but also makes life difficult for those left to pick up the slack. Is there any work around where the unvaccinated staff work for part of the company that doesn't accept govt funding? Sorry, I'm sure you've all already spent months trying to work out what to do!! Re: covid, FIL tested positive on Wednesday. He's apparently doing ok, but was obviously sick enough to go get tested. He has had some heart issues, so hoping all goes well. They think MIL had it first, but she never tested as it was a very mild cold for her with some extra fatigue. So, she really didn't suspect covid and didn't need to test for work or anything.

Shae- hope all is well!

And same for you, Pretty. I've been hoping your covid experience passed quickly

 

[shaescott]

Hi guys, I keep losing track of time and accidentally going MIA for a few days at a time. I’m doing good. I’m currently h* as a kite and keep falling asleep trying to write this so I’ll just say all is well and I wish you all love. I’ve been lazy and haven’t temped, I took my first OPK of the cycle this afternoon when I checked my CM for the first time in days and noticed it had a bunch of EWCM. OPK was negative though. I’m disappointed because SO and I were both h* but he made an oops and used too much and vomited, so no chance at mutually high oopsy sex. I wouldn’t do that if I was sober and he wasn’t by any means, but if we’re both gone, all bets are off. Currently I’m gone, but he’s sleeping and I don’t want to move him.

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Hi ladies. I'm on my phone while I wait to get my winter tires put on, so forgive me if this reply is worse than my last.

Winter - I'm not the best with keeping track of cycle days and knowing when implantation should happen, but I feel like a nice HB is a very good sign. I know how annoying it can be to walk away from a scan with lots of questions still, but I'll just say what I've said to other women in the past. It's out of your hands right now. In 30+ weeks, you'll either be holding a brand new LO, or you won't. Worrying won't change much. Easier said than done, I know. Just try to keep yourself occupied til your next scan and know we're rooting for you and here for you no matter what the outcome is. Also, my mom had me at 37 after 2 MCs and my sister at 42. No IVF. Just the old fashion way. So, don't count yourself out til menopause hits.

Dobby - So sorry her loss has been hitting you hard recently. You know we're all here for you whenever you need to vent. And I do believe that just about everything happens for a reason. In all honesty, if my dad hadn't passed, I don't Alex would even be here, but that's a story for a different day. Regardless, as I said above, it's not over til menopause hits and there's still a bunch of time to have another, with or without a stable partner. But if you are truly content with just A, then great. Enjoy him as much as you can and look forward to a great DIL and grandbabies to spoil.

Flueky - I don't really keep up with US politics, so I dunno what mandate passed. Either way, I hope work isn't stressing you out too much. Congrats on finishing PT. Hoping you can get yourself back to 100% soon.

Gigs - Sorry for jelly legs, but yay for getting back to working out. Have you been able to straighten up like you wanted yet?

shae - I hope you and SO had fun during your h* night, minus the vomit. lol

Re: Having one more when you're done. My mom asked me if we were gonna have one more after this one. I told her we're not planning or expecting to, but we'll roll with the punches if that's what we're dealt. Probably my most diplomatic answer to date. Ask me how I feel once our new LO is here though. lol

AFM, based on what the CDC has most recently said, you're most contagious 2 days before symptoms start and 3 days after the show up. So, that was Tuesday the 3rd and this past weekend, respectively. I stayed in Alex's room up to and including Monday the 10th. I started hanging around the family this Tuesday and stayed masked for 2 days. Now, I'm just kind of back to business as usual but washing my hands more and not kissing anyone. Work gave me the option to be off til this coming Monday, so I took it. My only lingering symptom is a dry throat, but I'm fine otherwise.
In other news, finally got the results of my scan last month. Baby is measuring near perfect, I have an anterior placenta, and it looks like we definitely have a girl. I was also told I have an eccentric cord insertion, which is a "variation of normal." So, they'll keep an eye on her growth/my fundal height, but they said she should be fine.

 

[WinterBub]

Hi shae, hi pretty! Nice to hear from you both glad you're enjoying yourself, Shae! maybe we'll take a family holiday to Colorado or something at some point, because that all sounds fun

I'm so glad that your covid experience was so straightforward, pretty. Glad you got the extra time off work- Good to take it easy with the pregnancy and all of that. And a big formal congrats on your little girl! Now I want to hear some name choices when y'all get that far along!

Thank you for the pep talk! I'm just going through the motions and waiting for the next scan. I really, really want just a totally boring experience from here on out. Everything healthy, everything totally non eventful. Dobby's point about the hb made me feel beltter, as well as the facts the dates aren't 100% ridiculous. Like you say, nothing to be done but wait. My mother was 35 when she had me too. I have been fantasizing about names, so I think that means im feeling at least somewhat positive. OH vetoes 99% of things I suggest, but I have a huge crush on the name Iris right now. I haven't mentioned it to him as per yet- he vetoed Lyra yesterday, though! Im talking about girl names, but the baby is probably a boy, anyway!

 

[tdog]

ladies sorry been mia my heads been all over rhe place right now thinking of the daughter it's still raw but I will be OK I need to be OK for the babies Hope all you ladies are OK I have been thinking of you all xx