General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[DobbyForever]

Tdog sending big hugs. You take care of your fam. We’re here if you need us

Shae omg I was like wtf is horny as a kite shows where my mind is all the time. Glad you’re doing well and had a chance to unwind with SO.

Winter I’d love to hear these names! I think Iris is great. So hopefully that doesn’t get vetoed. Does he have some ideas? Or is he just saying no but not ponying up any ideas lol.

Pretty lol I love that. What would you say was your number that you envisioned growing up as far as kids go? So glad the results came back stellar! And yay for girly confirmation! Hopefully the fundal height is a non issue. I remember A’s private scan tech mentioning at 15w and 27w that his fundal was short, but my ob brushed me off. Grand scheme of things, he caught up quickly but it was a rough first few months getting him caught up.

Re Setsuna. I feel like there was a lesson there. Don’t sleep around with hot casual guys was definitely one. I wouldn’t say I’m content. More just grateful for what I do have. I want a husband. I want a partner. I want another child. I just don’t want another child without a partner. I can learn to love my life if this is it for me. But I’ll always want to know what it’s like to love and be loved, to have a father for me child(ten), to experience a shared life. It’s just weird. I can see myself being single forever screwing around with hot frat boys with a milf complex, but I can also see myself married with another kid. I’m just also grossly undomestic, moreso after my ex. I know biologically I have time if a second kid is in the mix, I just don’t know that emotionally they are anymore. It’s just such a weird feeling. I can sit here watching A bang his head and throw a tantrum and be spoiled grateful to not be pregnant anymore but also cry because I wasn’t given the chance to try to make it work. It’s weird. My mom said today it's uncanny how much we are alike, and even that makes me sad. She probably would have also been my mini me, and we'd be as close as I am with my mom. But then I also look at how toxic my mom and I can be/ how toxic I can be and I don't want to perpetuate that. So basically I'm back to where I was six months ago. I do miss her. It hurts. It hurts to think about how I'd be 12w tomorrow and I'd have a legit bump and how much they look like a kid at 12w. But I also trust God. So. It is what it is.

 

[WinterBub]

Dobby! I get exactly what you mean about being all turned around about how things turned out. I think it's totally normal to feel that kind of mix of emotions. You loved her, and that's enough.

I get exactly where you're coming from about another baby. If you know what your goals and standards are, then take that and apply it to dating. No more beautiful boys unless they're kind beyond belief and totally into you. And I totally recommend giving the type of guys you'd maybe have looked over another chance. I can see you being insanely happy with a cute accountant who is kind of shy. you've talked about how poorly your exes have treated you. I say try a new flavor- and I also recommend online dating! Spend some time going on dates, and don't do anything physical until it's clear y'all both are invested. Sorry if this is rambling- I just have had friends irl who overlook the nicest guys, and I so wish I could force them to give the guys they overlook a try!

 

[WinterBub]

And no, OH doesn't really offer any names! To be honest, I don't think any of this is real for him just yet. To be honest, I also feel strange thinking about names... I'm still not even confident all is well He has mentioned names before, but none that I loved... His favorite girl's name is Jill. And for boys I remember him mentioning Isaac, and Calvin. I like the way Calvin sounds, but hate the meaning- "bald"

 

[DobbyForever]

Omg does Calvin really mean bald?!?! I just think of Calvin and Hobbes(?). Right? The cartoon boy and tiger comic. Jill is kinda basic lol. I’m still team Iris.

I’ve been online dating for years because you don’t meet guys organically in my profession. I attract jerks who lie about what they want. All my abusive exes say it’s written all over me that I’m an easy target for manipulation. Which is true. I actually had one guy go so far as to go Facebook official after a month of dating then he dumped me while I was still in his bed. Literally was like you said you don’t sleep with guys who aren’t your bf and I wanted to sleep with you. So now that we have, bye. The other issue is the whole have to match thing. And I am apparently attracted to a vibe that is no good. I try to swipe guys who seem sweet even if they aren’t exactly my type, but it usually fizzles out. I’d love a shy accountant. My friend, who just got married and I had to stfu and hold my tongue, is a shy accountant. VI really messed up my head though. I fell right back into toxic patterns with him. It’s really unnerving. I just have dating FOMO.

 

[shaescott]

I started taking OPKs 2 days ago (just didn’t take a pic CD12-13 cuz it was very negative and I was rushing) and dang I’m glad I started testing when I did. This supplement seems to really be working! Of course SO has no interest in dangerous BD

Dobs

 

[DobbyForever]

Shae bummer. I know he had asked about keeping up with the tracking and app, but I was hoping that maybe since he realized he was actually sad about you not being pregnant that maybe he’d be a little more loosey goosey. Glad the supplement is at least helping!

I’m trying to will myself into taking care of myself again. It’s not working. I keep doing the tomorrow I’ll do it thing. Today at least I plan to walk the dogs after I watch sister wives and take a nap. I’m so tired. Not sleeping well at night. The house is a wreck. Literally piles of crap in every room, can barely open the front door because I have so many recycling and things I need to take out. Hoping to at least get all the trash out and declutter. On laundry round two, dishes round two, bathrooms when I get back from walking the dogs. Also hoping to steam mop the floor. Aside from the dirt and hair from the dogs, I’m pretty sure one of my babies peed on the floor at some point. A is clearly sick. They really should send his ass home, but they feel bad for me so they don’t. I am worried because he is coughing a lot (mostly right when he wakes up) and his breathing is borderline needing his inhaler most days. =/

Re men. I have no business looking right now. I’m still so heartbroken. But there is a part of me that feels like having and losing her was a big wake up call that I do really want another kid, and if I want to go about it the “right” way then I’m not getting any younger. There is one guy I might want to go out with. He’s age appropriate for once LOL 43. Divorced, has a 3 year old daughter, split custody. He’s a CRO and well educated. Very articulate. Sounds really sweet when he talks. So naturally I’m not physically attracted to him, but we also haven’t met in person so who knows. He’s not not cute. He’s just not my version of a silver fox hahah. My toxic a** is over here like ok ok where is it? Where is the flaw? What’s wrong with you? Why didn’t you marriage work out? Why is you single when you check all the boxes on paper? LOL. He does seem to be want more kids though, so he’s definitely looking for something serious vs the guys coming at me trying to just get in my pants. But wouldn’t be the first time I got duped. Idk. I'm already getting insecure so LOL If I do go out with him, I promise to keep it in my pants for a reasonable amount of time. And I'll glove up and avoid my fertile period until I get a ring.

 

[gigglebox]

dang those are some blazing positive opk's shae! I hope y'all have recovered from your recreational fun, haha.

dobs *hugs* I know what a mind F dating can be, especially if you've been burned multiple times. I say just don't overthink it now, and don't go searching for it for now. I think it'll find you when you aren't looking/suspecting it. I will say as far as a second kid goes, I have friends who have an autistic child about A's age (and my ds2), and they have a daughter who is 2. Their son is mostly non-verbal, and very much a "keeps to himself" kind of kid. They now feeling a little sad/guilty for their daughter, feeling like she doesn't have the sibling relationship they wish she did, so they are now kicking around the idea of a 3rd. My point being, if a sibling for A is on the brain, he may be totally content being the only kiddo, and though you may feel like he's missing out on a sibling, he may not feel that way at all. I am not discouraging a second+ kid(s), just giving you some food for thought.

Winter I'm glad your mind is eased a bit! Personally I think Dobby hit the nail on the head with the heart beat, and again I agree dates seem totally normal. I really like the name Lyra! Our top name pick (I'm sure I've said it in here a million times) for a girl was Ember. We also really like Alice and Annaleigh (on-na, not "An na"), I think Jayla also made the cute. Kimber was one hubby liked but it reminds me of pew pews, lol. But girls names were SOOOO easy compared to boys for us! Our first and our last we agreed on wholeheartedly. For DS2, hubs wasn't a huge fan but did agree. We do, however, both love his middle name, Everette -- so much so, that if we somehow had another boy, I'd consider using it as a first name. Would that be weird to have two sons with the same name, kind of? I also LOVE the name Reece but hubby despises it because of Malcolm in the Middle.

I really like Calvin; it does make me think of Calvin and Hobbes, but also of a profession disc golf payer, Calvin Heimburg. He's kind of a goofy, gangly dude but he's pretty funny, a great disc golfer, and he's super smart -- a physicist of some sort. I like watching him play. Point being, positive associations for me lol; because you sooooo needed my seal of approval lmao

afm, still very much in my head about having another. I think it's because 1. i feel like i'm at deadline for having a last kid, 2. online business has slowed so I am less invested in it and getting kind of "over" it, 3. I am in a good, somewhat easy part of life right now where the kids are easier and we have a routine, and I get bored in contentment lol. It seems like when things are smooth/quiet/calm, I crave something new/different. I have a lot of energy right now and nothing to pour it into. I'm trying to focus on losing weight but my head keeps going back to baby. one more. last kid.

I'm continuing with working out and hoping once I start seeing a difference, that will deter me from the idea of a baby, of wrecking my body again, haha.

Also regarding a girl, I'm just hoping at this point at least one of these boys settles down with a girl that I get along with. For now I get along pretty good with hubby's Mom, so that's something! I mean I of course get along with my Mom too but it's different.

 

[DobbyForever]

Gigs honestly I don't want a second kid for him. It's completely selfish and for me. I just always wanted a second kid, specifically to have a daughter. It's just how I envisioned my life. But I do worry because a second kid will either also be on the spectrum and I'm already burned out OR they'd be neurotypical I've seen firsthand situations like your friends' where there's issues and resentment between the siblings but also the parent/kids as a result. A absolutely would not want a sibling. He likes his friends at school, but he is incredibly needy. That was his big issue in the last room, any time another kid went to sit next to the teacher or in her lap he would tantrum and/or hit them. He does not like to share my attention. He still wants uppies all the time or to sit on my lap. He very much enjoys being the center of everything to the point that I actually legitimately think he would hurt an infant. Not in a smother your sibling kid of way, but I just don't see him taking it that well. Especially in a situation if they were both crying but obviously a younger kid would take priority to soothe. If I had to feed a baby and he wanted something, he will hit or grab the bottle and throw it and overall make it difficult to do what I need to do. Just from the changes this last week with people on quarantin, he's been awful with his headbanging and refusing to let me go to a different room or do anything. Based on what I've seen. But idk. He could end up being a totally amazing brother. But if I was only thinking about what's best for A, it's honestly to be an only child. Right now, he has everything he needs. I actually think I might break the cycle with him. I also honestly don't even want another dog right now so idk how I can think about a second child.

Gigs I love your girlie names! I mean hey if you have the energy to do it lol. I'm a bad influence. Omg I really hope this thread is still going when our kids start dating LMFAO

 

[gigglebox]

ah ok gotcha. We'll I'm here "selfishly" hoping for a girl baby so I totally get it, haha. So on the other end, you never know, he could be a very loving older bro, might be protective of a sibling. It's hard to really know how they will be by the time an infant comes around. If you recall ds1 is on the spectrum (albeit high functioning) and I was worried about jealousy issues, but he had be so accustomed to entertaining himself as he wanted that when ds2 came into the picture, he was totally fine with it. It really was a smooth transition. He definitely has some "only child" mentalities since he was the only one for 5 years, for example doesn't want to share certain things, feels like he can call the shots on what games the play/shows they watch/etc, but overall he plays great with his brothers. Honestly my biggest issue is I think he gets TOO "into" what the younger kids are into -- for example he gets absorbed in shows like umizoomi, which is basically for toddler aged kids, and he's going on 10. But he's also immature for his age so....? idk. I honestly don't. I feel like things work themselves out as needed sometimes I guess......?

LOL Dobby hahah that would be amazing if the thread is still alive then! I have a suspicion this website might be defunct by then, but we'll see. It certainly isn't nearly as active as it used to be....but maybe it'll have a revival!

 

[WinterBub]

I think it's easy to pine for another child because in the fantasy, that child is amazing. I'd also really like a girl, just to have the other side of the parenting experience. But I realize that a) it'll probably be a boy b) not even clear yet that this is a healthy pregnancy c) the fantasy daughter is perfect and we're super close- there's no guarantees about any of that!

The guy you describe sounds really nice, Dobby. At least on paper. I just feel like a lot of women are attracted to the wrong kind of guy for whatever reason. Lucky for me, my type has always been the very responsible and gentlemanly type. (OH opened his first 401k when he was a teenager with a summer job). he was really shy when we met, and it took a few dates for him to come out of his shell, but he's really cute, and considerate and funny. He was just too shy to be himself at first . He made a comment when we were married about how if he'd seen me in a bar, he'd never have said hello, although he would've wanted to. Makes me sad to even think about that! Things might be totally different for you re: a second child once A is in school, and into his own things. My best childhood friend is in a newish relationship relationship (6-12 months). He's divorced with two kids, and unsure about having more. So she is freezing her eggs (she has no kids). I thought that was really wise- means she's not overly invested in him as her "last chance". She is just about to be 35.

And I hear you about the 35 cut off, giggle. I'd have considered another beyond this if none of my struggles had turned out the way they did. In my experience, the difficulties happening after 35 has been 100% true. And im also like you- I love a good challenge to get my teeth stuck into, and it has taken a lot of time for me to be content without some new adventure. I travelled a lot, and missed that for a long time. Funnily enough, covid made me thankful for us being where we are.

I like your girl names! Alice has always been on my list, too I've never thought of Ember, but it's really lovely! We have a little friend called Beau, and Ember reminded me of that. Lovely names that I'm surprised never made my list! My all time favorite boys name is Walter, but OH vetoed that one heavily.

Sorry about the lack of risky action, Shae. Boooooo! That's so interesting that the supplement is having such an obvious effect. What's in it, again? I'll have my fingers crossed that maybe your oh will throw caution to the wind tonight!!!

 

[DobbyForever]

Annnnnnd then the super hot 50 year old just wants to do it and I’d be lying if I said that doesn’t sound like fun... so clearly I have learned nothing and should just keep it in my pants forever

 

[gigglebox]

Dobby listen to your conscience!

winter feel free to steal any names, clearly we’re done using them! Lol
I have to say I’m with your hubby on “Walter”…where did you hear it and why does it resonate with you? I was never too big into traveling far, but every so often I get the itch to leave town lol. Used to happen a lot when I was younger; I’d get in the car and and have the urge to drive for hours. I’ve skipped work before to just drive instead. Gone are those days!

 

[shaescott]

CODE RED CODE RED

SO HAS BOUGHT THE RING

 

[DobbyForever]

Shae you scared me lol can we call it code white?! yay!!!! I’m telling you 2/22/22 make it happen! Hahah. Also how do you know?

I’ll respond later I’m running late lol

Can I just sext the hot guy but not sleep with him? I’m like 98% sure I won’t actually sleep with him. But I’m also 98% sure if I do this guy will be added to the short list of guys who actually get me off.

the problem with Checklist is he was married young and divorced, then he has his baby momma. He said he’d explain it to me in person because it’s funny but but funny. Red flags in his wording being he compared it to a telenovela... and he described her as “actually an incredible woman”, which I love that he has so much respect for her but her followed it up with it’s just kind of a silly reason we’re not together. I’m all for healthy coparenting and friendship, I’m not here for you would want to be with her if the option was available. So even though my yellow flags are up, im at least going to give him a chance to explain it.

 

[shaescott]

Dobs I thought about code ring but thought that was more appropriate for the actual proposal. I know because I’m a snoop I clicked the custom link and it redirected me to the main page instead of the custom order page. I told SO this and he was like “oh that’s weird, the link wasn’t supposed to expire” and I was like “uh huh sure, you bought it” and he was like “no” and I was like “okay so you want me to email them to get a new link?” And he was like “no I’ll do it” and I was like “you’re a liar, you totally bought it” and he was like “ugh yeah” (to clarify tone, this was a very lighthearted conversation). I then snooped just now in his email and he did indeed order it, and he asked them to write “Always” on the box which is our thing we always say since the beginning of our relationship, ahhhh my heart! I regret spoiling that for myself (if they even do it) but it made me smile and feel all giddy so whatever. No more snooping though, I don’t want to spoil the proposal for myself.

Girl imma be real with you, you gotta take a break from all these men right now. Jumping right back into bad habits and ignoring red flags is not how we need to start the new year.

 

[gigglebox]

Dobby whadareyoudoin girl?! Citing those red flags, downgrading to yellow, and then ignoring them all? Listen I’ll be here regardless for you but, real talk, the more of these guys you sleep with, the more you make yourself a damaged good for when a quality man roles in. I know you said you’re unlikely to sleep with him, but commmeee onnnnn, hotty with a body and wants to explain himself? Uh huh…..

Shae that’s very exciting! Although shame on you for snooping when he already admitted it! Stop spoiling things for yourself!! You know he’d be upset. Is that how you want to start your marriage?? ok but seriously, it’s coming soon!! Ahh!

afm: broody af again -.- make it stop lol

 

[shaescott]

Gigs yesterday when he was denying it I was like “I’ll just check your computer then” and he was like “you don’t know the password” and I was like “*recites password*” and he was like “crap lol” and I was like “I knew you hadn’t bought it before because I checked your email” and he was like “whaaaaattttt you bitch” (we say that in a joking funny way, not at all serious) he didn’t seem upset, but I did promise I wouldn’t try to snoop for proposal details, I don’t want to spoil it for myself.

Also I’m ovulating today so I feel that.

I discovered that when I’m so h* I’m going in and out of sleep I apparently get very horny, thank God I still have a brain because SO’s friend sat on my feet while I was half blacked out and my brain went “MALE TOUCH” and my vagina went “GO TIME????” so I promptly decided it was time for bed and excused myself to the guest room (SO was asleep on the floor post-vomit, he was fine though). I blame the fact that I was fertile that day. I told SO about it the next day cuz it freaked me out but obviously I didn’t act on it and that’s what matters. So anyway Dobs turns out you were right, h* does also mean horny

My temp wasn’t up this morning so I assume today is O day. I hadn’t started temping until yesterday though lol. I basically want to confirm a temp rise and then go back to not temping

 

[gigglebox]

Shae I am kind of surprised you are so eager to settle down and start a family, you party animal!

 

[DobbyForever]

Lol Shae that’s so funny. I overheard my Canadian ex’s while conversation about proposing with my parents. He asked to Skype (cuz that’s how old I am) and I was told to leave them room PFT. Even though I spoiled the surprise of knowing he was going to propose on that trip and that he was putting the ring in a special box that had a lot of meaning to me, it was still all very sweet and the details that he thought up outside of the ones I snooped into really made it special and memorable. So definitely pro stop snooping lol but it’ll still be a very special moment regardless of the little snoop you did. So excited to hear when and how! Love that you’re moving to the next phase soon eeee

Good for you not jumping his bones! That’s so hard. That O time drive is unreal.

winter I push good guys away because I don’t feel like I deserve them. It’s a whole thing. I thought about freezing my eggs, but idk. I’m young. Ish. I don’t really worry about my reserves. My mom had excellent numbers and quality when she did ivf to have my brothers, and I think she was 35/36 at the time. So if it’s meant to be then it will be. That’s so cute about your hubs. I’m glad it all worked out that you didn’t meet in a bar! Walter is cute but I also picture this like old soul dapper kid hehe

Haha yeah. I mean I’ve unmatched like 25 guys, and I’m not in any real rush to date or have sex. Just seeing what’s out there since I do know wholeheartedly from this that I want a second child but only with the right partner. It’s bleek out there. To clarify, these are two different guys.
Hottie with a Body (brilliant nickname lol) is divorced with two daughters. He’s been divorced for almost 10 years. I get the sense he’s the reason for the divorce LOL. Just a hunch. I am an attention seeker, so I enjoy the compliments but I’m not going to let it get anywhere. H* phase is over.
Checklist is the good on paper. He’s very respectful and makes a point to reach out often. His first marriage I don’t hold against him. He was young and living in another country (army brat then stayed there for undergrad), married a local woman, but ultimately he wanted to move back to the US and she changed her mind and didn’t want to. The mother of his child though, idk the full story. I do like that what little he has said has been positive and respectful and he holds her in high regard as the mother of his child, I just don’t know what he meant by calling it a telenovela situation/saying it’s a silly reason we aren’t together. I just want zero baby momma between him/her and her/me because end of day it’s his daughter and my son who will get hurt. Normally I’d just dip out because I don’t have time for anything you can’t just explain in a text, but he’s very sweet so figure the least I can do is let him explain it over dinner.

 

[shaescott]

Gigs I was never a party animal before, there were no good parties in college so I didn’t bother, and I had trouble keeping my mouth shut about sensitive topics while drunk. Every once in a while SO’s friends would have a party and we’d get drunk. The w**d is a new thing, I think I’ve done it 4 times now, all within the past year I think. SO used to be very against w**d and only recently changed his mind, partially because he has chronic pain and CBD helps, so I hadn’t used it until he changed his mind. I find it much easier to find my sweet spot than with alcohol, there’s a wide range of sweet spot whereas alcohol is a very small window. I’m definitely a fan but I have a genetic predisposition toward addiction which makes me nervous. I can 100% see how people get addicted to it because I’ve used it 4 times and I’m like “hmmm I could go find that dispensary right over the state border and get some edibles…” which is like, at what point do I get concerned? I definitely don’t want to be one of those moms who is getting h* throughout the day when they’re supposed to be watching their kids, or even really at night when there’s not a sober parent in case of emergency (no judgement on that one though). The w**d mom culture really bothers me. And of course once I’m pregnant all that goes away immediately. I think I’ll just enjoy it when it comes up at parties (which are small and close friends only, so safe) until my first pregnancy, then I’m done, at least until my kids are grown up. It’s fun, but family is my priority. And there’s definitely some Christian guilt, like Jesus didn’t specifically mention w**d, but he did say not to get drunk and I’m not exactly good about that since 2 drinks is all it takes me. I want to get adult baptized (I was infant baptized) but I’m honestly not ready to give up some things yet (and by that I mean pre-marital BD). I think once I’m married and BDing is no longer morally sketchy, I’ll do it. It’s fine if I slip up and do things I shouldn’t, but I can’t in good conscience devote myself to Jesus when I’m not even *trying* to stop my behaviors.


Okay now I’m going to go full story time so feel free to skip if religion stuff bothers you!

I’ve been on quite the religious journey over the past 2 years but mostly in the past few months. Haven’t really talked about it on here I don’t think. I grew up without a strong religious identity or set of beliefs. My mom was raised Methodist but the concept of hell bothered her so she decided she wasn’t a Christian, she believes in a supreme being she calls God but that’s about it. She raised my sister and I Unitarian Universalist, which comes from Unitarian Christian (anti-trinitarian) mixed with universalist Christian (everyone goes to heaven), but ends up not being terribly Christian depending on the individual church. My church mentioned God but did not teach about salvation or anything like that. It was mostly focused on being a “good person”, kindness, charity, etc. I still am very into charity and giving etc, that is quite consistent with Christian values.

I spent my childhood, teen years, even college years trying to figure out what I believed. I kept feeling drawn to God but didn’t know where to go from there. I tried being Catholic at one point but when I got to RCIA at my local church and day one they told me IVF was immoral because it was unnatural, I bounced. I tried to find what Christian denomination I fit into, to no avail. At that point I was still Unitarian and had very liberal beliefs on Christianity. I went through a witchcraft phase where I got into crystals and spells/rituals and stuff, and the whole time I kept feeling drawn to God, like I couldn’t pray to anyone else when doing those spells or whatever.

January 2020 I had made myself a witchcraft journal and my first and only journal entry was me working out in written form how I felt drawn to God rather than anything actually witchcraft related. I realized that I’ve always (minus an atheist sting in middle school) believed that Jesus is the son of God and that he died on the cross for our sins and was resurrected, so why on earth was I not a Christian? It just didn’t make sense what I was doing, why was I fighting it? My issue was that I had my set beliefs and wanted my belief system to conform to what I already thought, rather than for me to conform to what God actually says. Eventually I started realizing that God knows better than I do, and I don’t need to fully understand something for it to be true. I don’t understand astrophysics but it’s still a thing.

I started looking at a lot of moral issues from a new angle, and I’d never understood before how Christians could have the moral positions they did and still claim to love people, but now I get it. The truth can hurt, but that doesn’t mean it’s not loving. Trying to save people from hell is pretty darn loving from a Christian perspective. It’s much harder to hate people for their beliefs when you’ve been on both sides of it. It makes the command to love my neighbor much easier when I can understand where they’re coming from, even when I strongly disagree.

So yeah, I’ve switched from an ultra-liberal mostly secular person to a mildly conservative very Christian person. I was very worried about how my mom would react to this change because she is ultra-liberal and based off her Facebook she seems to straight up hate conservatives. However, she seems to see that the core value of love that she taught me is still very much there and she says she doesn’t need me to be her clone. She bought me a book on the gospel relating to women for Christmas. She’s been supportive while respectfully disagreeing, which means the world to me because I was so scared she would hate me or think I was a bad person. SO always leaned conservative (but anti-politicians, which I am in agreement with) and voluntarily comes to church with me, so the transition has not been hard for him at all (minus the occasional guilt bursts I get about the pre-marital BD). I swear every sermon calls him out and he’s like “okay God, I see you, no need to throw me under the bus every Sunday”

Okay that’s the end of that excessively long story time lol.