General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[WinterBub]

It is a nightmare. Luckily it was crayola, so it came out of most of the clothes with a presoak in Dawn and then washed hot/heavy. I threw out a couple of the really bad things, but kind of regret that now, as they likely could've been salvaged. Oh well. The drum of the dryer is now tinted purple but at least the color doesn't come off onto clothes. Took ages to fix that, though. And the fumes were not fun!

You made me LOL with "blast zone", Shae. I'm still team honeymoon baby Have you guys discussed when the real baby making would come into the picture? Just wondering if you're on the same page now you're engaged- ie. Is it all on once you're married?

 

[shaescott]

Winter I’m glad you got it pretty much fixed. Too bad about the few clothes that got thrown out.

I was aiming to get a laugh with “blast zone” so I’m glad I succeeded

 

[DobbyForever]

Y’all are champs for sticking through those essays

Aww Shae the hormones always get the best of us haha. You know I’m camp baby after the wedding, but that’s because I’m there with you on the not being visibly pregnant for photos hehe (not that there’s anything wrong with that, pregnant brides are gorgeous too) but also you know I love booze. So you know I’m team get preggo on that honeymoon! LOL though to the story. Honestly them hormones and millions of years of evolution are hard to win against. Especially when you are in such a committed partnership. But I do agree that there is a plan and what will be with be. So neutral vibes.

Winter so frustrating about the testing. Hopefully all works out. And nooo I’m glad you found a solution to clean out the dryer and clothes but I can only imagine. I’m glad that you saved most of the clothes, and don’t feel bad about tossing some clothes out. A lot of parents at A’s school just have them toss the clothes if the kids have a #2 accident. I’m like one of the few weirdos apparently that is like nah bag it up and send it home. Also high five! Omg I love that you called it team honeymoon! I write my replies as I read so I just saw that we phrased it the same way hehe. Great. Minds.

Thanks everyone! Yeah, I’m pro inclusion as long as it benefits the students. It’s a win for everyone when it’s done properly. I’ll be honest, I don’t think his ASD is the big issue. The speech is but he has enough to get by when he wants to and kids can be taught to be patient. What I think is going to be problematic is the ADHD. The RSP teacher was like yeah I could hold his attention 30 seconds to a minute per task and I’m like YUP sounds about right

Re the divorce it sounds like they came to an agreement they both can live with. My mom thinks he has a girlfriend who is probably pushing him to be done with it, and I’m like LOL mom he had a girlfriend before you even hit him with the divorce. It does not take two hours to go to cvs or get me a sandwich from Togo’s.

Re Etsy yeah I went a little crazy. I got a digital banner download to print, a personalized Antonio door, the shirts, a customized Antonio number 5 candle, some personalized Encanto favor bags, and a set of Antonio plates. Just because all the ones I could find were like either the three sisters or Mirabel and pink and purple. I’m just getting one set and basically telling my fam they’re for the guests lol. I’ll get some extra just plain green but I want the children to have the cute plates. Then I got some of those foil hanging decor off Amazon. For favors, I wanted to get some tactile stuff that our blind guest could enjoy. So I’ll probably throw in some mini play dough, wikki sticks, and kinetic sand. Then I also got a Encanto fun pack, the cupcakes have little Encanto ring toppers (half are Antonio and half are Mirabel), and some Encanto stickers. I will say I do always regret inviting my friend’s kid. Like she’s a good friend. But Aiden doesn’t really care one way or the other about her kid. And she’s allergic to gluten, diary, and oats. And I know her mom offers to bring her own cupcake and food, but that’s not how I was raised. Thank goodness the area is super progressive so finding certified gluten free places isn’t too difficult it’s just that combo of gluten AND diary that’s like commmmmme onnnnnn. I was thinking pre packaged snacks and ice cream and remade fruit cups. I want to cater some sort of app but i may just do pizza since I know she liked the gluten free diary free pizza from A’s 2nd birthday.

 

[gigglebox]

Still catching up…

Dobs your life is not a mess! You’ve just experience messy situations. I am sorry things with OA didn’t work out. Huge congrats on the new job! What what an opportunity!! Big chances are always intimidating but I bet you adjust within a month or less.

shae I love all you flower choices. The venue is stunning! Were you Saying you absolutely want an outdoor ceremony? Do they have tent options in case of rain?

winter bet we’d be fast friends irl. You ladies all have a lot to offer! But yeah, friends are so hard to find!! To answer your question, I found this mom on a homeschool page on Facebook for the county i live in. She said she was new to the area and was looking to have some play dates for the kids. Our boys were similar ages so i privately messaged her to set up a time to meet at a play ground. The kids got along and so did we honestly i just feel lucky. All my other attempts at friends making have not been successful. I’m also struggling to find friends for ds1. We do have an upcoming play date with a new family so hopefully we have the same kind of success there…but we’ll see.

fluek i find that so surprising you had to warm up to the idea of kids! Bummer you have to miss more work but maybe that’s not the worst thing

oh we had our swim lessons! Ds1 loved it. Ds2 didn’t want to get his face wet so it was a bit challenging but he wants to go back. I told him he will have to practice getting his head wet in the tup if he wants another lesson.

 

[gigglebox]

Oh sahe I was going to suggest asking the venue if they’d do a discount if you pay in cash. Ask that to any of the places you but/rent from, you might be surprised.

 

[Flueky88]

Dobby that all sounds so stressful with getting A what's best for him and the divorce situation. I hope that things can remain amicable so you can have the party in July. Those shirts are so cute! I love Encanto Oh and I'm glad you were able to get him what's best

I will also clean up poop accident clothes. It doesn't happen much other than newborn stage. V did have a little on her undies last week though. So easy to pre treat and then throw in the washer.

Gigs, the only thing was I still worked from home to avoid using so much of my PTO before sick pay kicked in. Also, all the classes I missed had to be made up LOL. I did 3 class last week, 2 this week, and 1 at the end of the month. Plus side is that I've gotten covid so I shouldn't get it during our go live with out new EMR. I also was able to attend the parents event for Kinderboost. While team member health hadn't cleared me, CDC guidelines indicates I was out of quarantine on Monday.


Winter, I was 201 in April last year. I was 196 in November which is when I was actively trying to lose. So 30lbs lost now.

Well done on getting the stains out and mostly out of the dryer. I haven't had a crayon incident yet but won't be surprised if it happens at some point.

Shae well FX that no sperm found their way to the egg. It is hard sometimes fighting that instinct during O time. Also blast zone

So did I understand correctly that you toured the venue this weekend?? How was it?

AFM was a busy week and this week is even busier. Girls never got sick thankfully. V has really enjoyed Kinderboost.

My weight is the same but that's okay. It may be accurate. I didn't track my food last week but I did exercise more than when I had covid. My chest is sore from chest flys so I may have a little swelling to my muscles. I did fix a key lime cheesecake for fathers day. We ended up eating on Friday though.

I had thought I ordered 1/2 cow from a alocal butcher. I was going to split with in laws so each household got a quarter. Apparently I ordered a whole cow so each got half. Oh my goodness our chest freezer is packed, we had to put a few things in our fridge/freezer. I had the money but I was also not mentally prepared to spend nearly 1K which isn't bad for half a cow but still in my head I was only going to pay $500 or so.

Hope you all have a happy father's day with the father figures in your life.

I probably won't be able to respond again til next weekend

 

[Flueky88]

Progress from end of May 2021 to June 2022

 

[WinterBub]

Glad to hear that the swimming lesson went well, giggle! And that sounds like a great Mom friend- sounds like you have quite a lot in common I've been meaning to ask- where are you now with the potential #4? Do you still think about it? Or is that a settled no at this point? Hoping that you're feeling good with wherever that discussion is at.

Sending neutral vibes too, Shae! Any more wedding plans coming together? We are invited to a wedding in August but can't make it... Anyone have any ideas for a nice little gift to send to wish them the best? Thinking less than $30...

Flueky- that's amazing! Just in general amazing, and even more so given that you have three young children and a demanding job the difference in your face is really noticeable- woop! Do you get a lot of comments from friends/family/colleagues? What is your absolute ideal weight that you're going for? I'm hoping to get to 160 before doing IVF... And I think that my best weight would be 145ish. Not sure that I'll ever get there again, though And btw- you looked pretty in your before pic, too!

Dobby- when's the party? That all sounds adorable And LOL at "the area is super progressive so finding certified gluten free places isn’t too difficult". Good on you for saving the #2 clothes. I go either way on that stuff... Like I said, wish I'd kept a couple of items that I tossed but oh well. I weigh up how soiled and how treasured the item is. OH tries to save everything, but sometimes makes things worse. He once put a polar fleece blanket covered in vomit through the washing machine. Hot tip: you can't do that- just made a huge mess in the machine and the blanket came out worse than it went in

AFM- finally got a peak fertility on my clear blue monitor thing. I was starting to think that it wasn't going to happen this month. It did seem right, and when I checked with a cheapy OPK, that was also blazing positive. Definitely impressed with it! Nice to know when to expect AF- just in general, and will also give me a heads up for the ivf cycle. OH is really stressed and worried about money, so just hoping he doesn't say no to ivf/another child. I don't think he will, but I foresee some wobbling because of that.

 

[shaescott]

Winter forgot to respond re: post wedding TTC. We don’t have an exact plan for that, although he said he knows I’ll want to start trying as soon as we’re married. It’ll probably depend on what’s going on with our jobs, living situation, etc. We plan to renew the lease and our roommate wants to stay another year so that will likely effect it. Though if we get pregnant immediately after the wedding we’ll have time to let him know before we renew the lease so he can choose to get the heck out. He doesn’t like kids much so I think he would.

Yay for a positive OPK/peak fertility on the monitor! I’m glad it worked for you. I assume you have to buy disposable strips for the monitor? I feel like with my occasional cycle of ovulating 2 weeks late (like this cycle), I probably should stick to my cheapie OPKs. Usually I never know whether I’m going to have a long or short cycle but this cycle I spotted through CD16 so I was pretty sure it would be extended due to my uterus not finishing emptying until then, and that’s exactly what happened.

Anyway. Fingers crossed your OH doesn’t change his mind over money troubles. It’s a tough situation to be in but I do believe that you’ll never regret having another baby, but you may regret not having another.

For the wedding gift, ask them if they have a registry! I put gifts of all price points on my registry to make it easier for people to find things they can afford to buy and for rich aunties to find the rest (I don’t actually have a bunch of rich aunts lol, maybe one but she exclusively buys people gag gifts lol.

Dobs wow you did go all out on Etsy! But it sounds super fun and I totally get that way with themed parties, though my issue is that usually I end up planning to make 10 different foods and it’s just not possible in one kitchen sorry about the kid with the complicated diet, but I’m sure it means the world to your friend that you include her AND accommodate her dietary needs so she doesn’t look like the odd one out. It’s annoying for sure to deal with dietary restrictions but for people who have legit allergies or intolerances I bet it’s super appreciated when people go out of their way to include them. If they’re unappreciative or demanding then that’s when you stop inviting them, no time for that crap.
The venue we looked at this weekend offers dietary accommodation meals for no extra charge, thank God, because I have vegan and gluten free family/friends. Not many, this is New England, but the few I have do still need to be fed if they’re coming. They also offer kids meals for no extra charge so I’ll be labeling that option “Kid’s meal/picky adult’s meal” because I know some adults who won’t eat anything but chicken tenders or grilled cheese. I don’t understand it because I’ll try most things and those foods just taste like crap to me, but I don’t want people to starve because they’re picky, either.

Gigs I’d love an outdoor ceremony, but they have an indoor ceremony space for inclement weather, and they set it up if there’s even the slightest chance of rain, just to be prepared. Apparently if it rains but stops prior to the ceremony they get a leaf blower and blow all the water off the chairs

Yay for swim lessons! I couldn’t keep myself afloat until I was 10 years old so I’m glad I wasn’t exposed to deep water in those 10 years.

Flueks we did tour the venue, it was lovely! I’ll describe more another time because I keep falling asleep writing this post.
Wow, 1/2 a cow in your freezer is an insane amount of beef. Also, awesome progress pics!

 

[shaescott]

Okay so wedding venue tour summary:

The venue is gorgeous. They seem like they have backup plans upon backup plans, very professional. They don’t do packages, everything is a la carte so you can customize it however you want. The barn is lovely, the first floor fits up to 140 people with a dance floor and the loft can fit an additional 60. Although the loft is open down to the main floor so they can see over the railing, we’d rather everyone be on the same floor so people don’t feel separated, so we’re glad the main floor can hold enough people for us.

They have very strict rules regarding alcohol but it’s because of their insurance and licensing, absolutely no outside alcohol whatsoever (groomsmen who bring in nips or a flask will be kicked out), no drinking out on the lawn during the indoor reception, and they won’t over-serve people.

We looked at the price for an open cocktail hour and beer and wine limited reception, and we honestly just can’t afford it. We did the math on an open cocktail hour and cash bar for the reception and that saves us over $5k. I don’t want to not provide any drinks at all, thus the open cocktail hour. I feel bad about it, but it helps that we’re giving them drinks for the first hour. SO’s mom said they had a cash bar at their wedding. It can be a bit taboo but we’re just too poor to pay $8k for alcohol alone.

We went there the next day for Father’s Day lunch and the food was very good. SO tried the one menu item that’s also offered on the wedding menu and he said it was fantastic and we should put it on the menu if we go with this place. I tried a bite as well and it was very good.

The venue has a farmhouse adjacent to the barn with a lovely bridal getting ready room, with stairs that lead down to doors that open right where you’d want to walk out for the ceremony. It’s perfectly laid out. They offer champagne or mimosas for the getting ready time as well.

SO wants to look at a few other places to compare before signing with these guys, but honestly I’m sold. They’ve got one of the best prices in the area and the barn reception is something I’ve always wanted but assumed I could never afford.

 

[shaescott]

Having a pity party in my unit’s bathroom because my test this morning for 10dpo was negative and my mom says she’s not getting pregnant vibes. I know it’s bad timing but God do I want it. I always get overly emotional about it in the week before my period, PMS plus not pregnant when you want to be is a doozy.

 

[DobbyForever]

Fluek I’m glad you were able to go to the Kinderboost parent event. How was that? So glad V had a good time! Sorry about the cow mix up but I’m glad you are able to share and store it. I love your progress pics! I think you look stunning in both, but I definitely see the progress. Keep it up!

Winter LOL honestly the Bay, especially the peninsula, is like the poster children of liberal. Honestly. There’s a bakery down the street where you can get any combination of baked goods all the way down to a vegan, nut and gluten free cakes and cupcakes. Yay for getting your positive opk! Sorry about the money stress. Wobbling is normal but hopefully not overwhelming for either of you.

Re wedding gift. I second Shae. Ask them straight up if they have a registry, though usually that comes on the invites. I have had coworkers not tell me about their registries because they’re embarrassed LOL but it’s the 21st century. So I’ll just hop on Google and type in their names and wedding registry. That’s how I found my coworker’s cash fund registry (which is why he didn’t want to tell me lol). Worst case, Williams and Sonoma is my go to. LOL just pack a gift receipt. I’ve doing charcuterie boards, coffee makers with built in grinders, usually some fun kitchen gadget I know they’ll use but they’d never spring for themselves. But I agree with Shae. There should be a range of prices on a registry. When I registered for A, I had items on there from $5 to $400. I didn’t even want to put some of those $200+ on there, but my mom said do it for her friends LOL and they did.

Shae hahah omg I can so picture the leaf blower going. It’s nice they have a plan for a wet day. Hopefully you get your sunshine and outdoor wedding! The venue sounds great! That’s really good that they won’t over serve people. I’d die though if someone said I can’t take shots in my bridal suite. Just one! I do think the norm has shifted to open bar, but the norm has also shifted to marrying later in life in my area. I would not be upset or offended at all if I was invited to a cash bar wedding. Way I see it, I wasn’t invited out to a bar to get hosed. I was invited to celebrate my friend’s union. And with money being fungible, if I want to drink and my paying for my drink or two saves my friend 5k! Heck yeah! If my friend invites me to a bar, I pay for my own drinks. Do not stress doing a cash bar and do not feel like you need to explain it to anybody. Definitely good to keep your options open just in case, but when you know you know. I’m so excited for you!

Re the party:
Yes, the friend is super sweet about it. She’s a little iffy in other friend areas, but that’s a convo for a different day LOL
Should work out. My parents just fight behind closed doors. And my brother is there so he won’t back out in front of his prodigy child. Especially after giving him covid, he’s on thin ice.
The decor is in. Still waiting on the shirts but omg I’m so excited haha. These were the personalized Etsy stuff. I was worried and regretting it but ahhhh so cute
Yeah idk what to do about apps though. I was thinking I may cater sliders from a local burger joint then some generic pre packed snacks for covid friendly eating.

AFM just been super busy doing paperwork for the new job and getting a jump on packing. Been giving away a lot of stuff on our local buy nothing group. It’s been a mixed bag of emotions. I gave up all my baby gear, which really hurt. But it made those families so happy. And my bestie pointed out that it doesn’t mean I can’t or won’t have another kid, it just means that WHEN (she’s so sweet) I do that I get the fun joy of shopping for baby stuff. Which she knows I do love doing. Other than that, not much going on. Going to do a soft move next month. Basically we’ll need to live here M-F but we can live there on the weekends til mid August. Only hang up is last night my mom’s uncle died. He was the husband of my mom’s favorite auntie. A few weeks ago their youngest brother died, my mom’s favorite uncle. So instead of going to Thailand in August, she’s thinking of leaving in a week and staying through her original trip. Which puts me up shit creek on a few babysitting days and she’d miss A’s 5th birthday. I told her she's gotta do what she's gotta do, and I'm A's mom and will figure it out. But I also suggested she go for three weeks in July then come back for his party/to get us situated at our new schools then go back for a month as originally planned. She hasn't said anything about that though. Idk. Is what is it. I wish I could go as well, but A won't tolerate that flight or a true Thai funeral.

 

[WinterBub]

All of the Encanto party gear looks great, Dobby! I hope that A loves it!! I'm sorry about your family losses, and your Mom not being here at those times when you'd really want her to be. I can see why she wouldn't want to keep flying back and forth- traveling seems to have gotten all the much worse because of COVID and the aftermath. But ugh, I feel for you.

Shae, the wedding venue sounds amazing! I'm with you on being sold on it. Doesn't hurt to look around to make doubly sure, though And I agree that a cocktail hour with a cash bar is totally fine. And being a bit old and boring these days, I like that they seem quite strict about how things are done. I'm a fan of a tightly run ship it's also fantastic that they seem to have lots of back up plans already in place etc. Ooo, how exciting!

 

[DobbyForever]

Thanks! Honestly, A does not care. The other kids will, and when he looks back on photos he will. He's just going to care about the animals haha.

The travel isn't about covid honestly. All of her friends have had it, everybody in our family except for her and I have had it. We got in a big fight about it, and she's not talking to me rn. When we talked Wed night, her thing was she wanted to be there for his funeral because she missed the other funeral. So I suggested she go now and then just not go again in Sept. She said she cant because my grandmother's service is planned for 9/1 and it's going to be a family reunion, everyone already took off time from work. Which is when I suggested going twice. She didn't respond. So I called her, and she's like the funeral is Tuesday but she can't go until 7/1 because she has an important doctor's appointment on 6/30 before she loses her benefits. And now I just don't understand why she's going at all if the funeral will be over, other than emotional support to my grand aunt. Which is valid, I just don't understand why she can't go twice then if it's that important to her. I just don't want A to look back and feel slighted because half his immediate family didn't show up to his 5th birthday. And people can sit here and say it's not a big deal, but it's an important birthday. He's been through so much this year, and so much is about to change in his life. And honestly I do think birthday's are a big deal. And my dad's last act of fatherhood was to be there for mine. And then people consistently let me down on my birthday after that. I just don't want A to grow up with a disorganized attachment style like me.

 

[shaescott]

Winter I agree re: a tightly run ship in this case. It shows professionalism and respectability, even though the rule is a little annoying.

Dobs honestly it’s relieving to me that you wouldn’t be upset about a cash bar because you’re from Cali and people there tend to have higher expectations lol, hopefully that doesn’t come off as insulting because it’s not how I mean it. Just makes me feel better that you approve.

Sorry about this whole debacle. I do think that when he’s older he’d understand “they had to fly to Thailand for a funeral”, but it’s still a crappy situation. I didn’t grow close in distance to my grandparents, so they didn’t come down for my birthdays. I never even thought about it tbh. My dad’s mom came down from upstate NY for Christmas because he’s an only child, but my mom has a giant family so them driving 4 hours from VT for my birthday among 20 other grandkids birthdays plus holidays was not expected of them. I know they drove down to visit when I was a baby but after that it was easier for us to go to them for visits, with them getting older and my Nani getting dementia. Anyway, I understand it feeling different when they live pretty close and normally come to every birthday.

Regarding the bridal room pre: wedding, they will provide champagne or mimosas on request, you just can’t bring your own in. I tried their mimosa at Father’s Day lunch and it was very good. They put cinnamon sugar on the rim which is different but it was actually awesome.

AFM currently 11dpo and getting BFNs but also no night sweats yet, which is always my telltale sign. Very confused. My mom just told me she had a blood test with me at 12dpo and it was negative. She also said she got her first positive HPT at 12dpo with my sister (that was in 2004). I thought about getting a blood test and actually purchased one but I just have a feeling I shouldn’t do it today. Could be that I’m not pregnant and it’s a waste, could be that I’m a late implanter so it would be a false negative and therefore also a waste. Quantitative blood tests only being $35 is very dangerous for someone like me I’m once again flashing between “I might actually be pregnant” and “I’m definitely not pregnant, I never am, I feel no different than usual, I will continue to be disappointed”. I told SO we’re using condoms during fertile periods until the wedding if I’m not pregnant this cycle because I don’t want to get pregnant like 6 months before the wedding and have that screw everything up. My wedding dress would not accommodate a baby bump.

 

[DobbyForever]

Honestly the more I think of it, my etiquette understanding was assuming it’s a cash bar unless otherwise stated. Open bars are cool, but again it’s not about inviting people out to drink. It’s about your wedding and union. I think there’s pressure to keep up with the Jones and have one. But honestly I’d say anybody who bats an eye at a cash bar isn’t there for the right reasons. Plus hold on. You’re having how many guests? Like let’s pretend it’s 500, that’s $100/head. I’m a lush, and I’ve no plans to buy $100 worth of cocktails. So that markup is insane. If you came to me as a friend, I’d freaking offer to buy everyone’s first round for you than you pay that crazy markup. I absolutely would not be ok with that. Seriously. My bar tab on my wildest nights wasn’t even that much, I tip like 40-50% at bars. Don’t even stress


Ooo that’s awesome! Mimosas are such a fun drink. Not too heavy, not too light. Love that! Never had if with cinnamon though. Gotta try that.

ooo well I’m glad the betas are cheap by yeah that’ll end up adding up quick if you do it frequently. Just have to leverage it. Since you’re planning a wedding, I’d compare it to that. Is it $35 of your wedding you’re willing to sacrifice? That’s how I check myself. Was is x hours at petsmart worth it? Is this worth not treating myself to a nice lunch and movie this week? Is it worth giving up Starbucks for a week? But the one I always get stuck on is this worth taking away from A

yeah my thing is…. Funeral is over so she’s just not stopping and breathing and thinking straight. Then screaming at me for asking her to stop and breathe. She told me today her parents were so much worse and she’d never speak to them like that because she’d rot in hell. And I’m like cool. Whatever. You also have both parents. A doesn’t. He has me and my immediate family. I told them I understand it’s extra pressure and isn’t their burden, but end of day all research shows kids benefit from three or more consistent trustworthy adults in their life. So I just want to be sure A has that.
ETA: to clarify
The funeral for my grand uncle in law is Tuesday, 6/28 (she can’t make it anyway)
A’s bday is 7/21
Her original flight is 8/20
The service for my grandmother/reunion is 9/1
I totally respect that Thailand is a huge time difference and long flight, but idk. There’s weeks between each flight if she goes twice. And every time I see her she cries and complains that she’s only around the first three days A starts school and why is she going for a month when she’s probably going to want to come back after a week

omg went to see top gun. I hated the original so I’m shocked I had so many feels

 

[DobbyForever]

Latest update is she’s not going until 8/20. I feel kind of like an a*hole. But end of day, I’ll be an a*hole for my kid 24/7. She said she’d go and come back if I went with her, and I’m like that’s not happening. I know I can’t protect him from everything, but I’ll protect him from everything I can. Like his heart broke yesterday because my mom left and he sat there crying, “Grandma come back” for twenty minutes. He’s adjusting to the two houses, but he’s still obviously happiest at my stepdad’s with everyone there.

On a happier note, my shirts came.

 

[WinterBub]

Glad that your shirts came! I don't want to comment too much on family things, because I feel like every family has totally different dynamics. I'm glad that things seem to have worked out ok.

How are you going, shae? Did AF show up? I agree with being extra careful between now and the wedding. You're so close to being married now, might as well wait! I hope your OH will come around to the idea of a honeymoon baby!

AFM- absolutely nothing new going on here. Just up late and fretting about the whole ivf process. I'm just afraid everything is going to go sideways somehow, and I've ignored the universe telling me that I'm not meant to have another baby. You know that feeling of knowing you want to do something, but not knowing if it's right?

 

[shaescott]

Dobs I’m glad she decided to stay and not miss A’s birthday. Cute shirts!

Winter I’m an anxious person so I 100% relate to that uncertainty. My only thing with IVF is that I worry about multiple embryos being made and then all but one discarded like trash or frozen and then abandoned forever. There’s a huge problem with abandoned embryos, people stop paying to keep the frozen embryos in storage because they have enough kids and the clinic is scared to destroy them even though they could because wow could that be a heck of a lawsuit. You want them to retrieve multiple eggs to increase chances, but if all the embryos successfully grow, now you’ve got an issue if you don’t want that many kids. I do know some people do embryo adoption for unused embryos. Just an ethical consideration to muse upon. I’m not at all saying don’t do it, just to discuss those considerations and have a plan for them.

AFM, AF arrived right on schedule. I never got the beta drawn because I had a feeling it would be a waste. While I’m always a little sad, I’m honestly relieved because I want to not worry about any restrictions on my Italy honeymoon, like no wine or having to drag a baby around with us.

Still haven’t booked a venue yet. I still really like the one we saw. SO’s mom found out about another inn that does weddings and apparently talked to them on the phone but didn’t get all the pricing info, and I emailed them Saturday and haven’t gotten a response. I really value responsiveness with businesses so I’m definitely inclined to go for the one we saw as they respond to emails quickly (within a few hours). I don’t expect an instant reply, they’re busy running the business, but I do expect a response within 24 hours.

Today my cousin (who’s my mom’s age so like an aunt) responded negatively to one of my IG stories regarding current events (not hard to guess which one) and after some discussion in which we very much disagreed, she said that she’s still coming to my wedding invite or not, she’ll crash it if she has to I was like dude, as if I would uninvite you for having a political difference? She wasn’t just assuming an invite either, I’d already told her she was required to come it’s so silly to me that people are cutting ties with loved ones over this stuff. I know it can get heated and it’s hard to understand the other side sometimes, but as someone who used to be a left leaning agnostic feminist who was ashamed to be white and later evolved into a more right leaning Christian, I can easily see both sides of most arguments, as I’ve usually used both at one time or another. I’ve seen a lot of IG stories saying “if you’re happy you’re a vile human being” or to unfriend them, and I’m like dude, can we not judge people like that? Ugh. Anyway.

 

[WinterBub]

That is the kind of thing that my mind has gotten to worry about... At most we would want 2 more children. So, what happens if we have twenty embryos? Although with my recent experiences, I tend to think that they'll retrieve a lot of eggs but we will lose the majority because they won't be healthy. I'm also worried about any kind of legal issues/changes that come up that I haven't foreseen.

That's great that you can somewhat agree to disagree with your aunt. Do you ever watch Bill Maher? I don't always agree with him, but he makes some good points at times, and one of his recent things is fretting about the idea that people can't tolerate disagreement (I mean wtf?!). You can feel however you want, and you're not a traitor if you don't agree with a certain viewpoint. My views on many issues have changed, and COVID policies really changed my feelings on politics.