General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[gigglebox]

Don't congratulate me yet, Winter. I was up to 168.8 this morning. I am beyond frustrated. I honestly have no idea what I did wrong. I know weight fluctuates but it was 168 yesterday! We're moving in the wrong direction and I have no idea why!!!
To answer your question, I've increased my activity; I try to be more active outside, I've been tending to my garden a lot. I've been doing youtube workout videos (some cardio, some weights). I've gotten out a couple of times to run but it's hard to find the time for that...basically I have to do it when hubby is off work so he can watch the kids, and he's been doing a water fast so hasn't really had the energy to deal with them this week. I think we are going to need to sit down with the calendar in front of us and divvy up days for him to work out and me to work out. It seems to be the only way I drop weight is after I go running. Fortunately my MIL gave me her treadmill (she says her knees can't handle it), so I do have that option now during naps. However this doesn't always work because I'm often doing lessons with ds1 during that time (while the kids aren't annoying/distracting us).

Anyway I've also all but given up sugar. I think the only thing with added sugar I have now is kefir occasionally. I do drink a lot of milk now (we got a raw milk share -- it's SO good!!) and am hoping that's not the problem. I don't drink a ton, maybe a couple glasses a day. Limiting my carbs, too, but not getting rid of them as I felt awful on keto.

I just don't know. I feel so frustrated.

I thought about the high waisted suit but it would look bad on me. I hate my belly, especially after having kids. I feel like anything tight just emphasizes it and I hate the way it bulges! even when I'm thinner I hate it, ever since i was a kid. I have that weird kind of dip in the center underneath. I remember there exists a photo of me as a kid, maybe 5 or 6, and you can see the shape of my belly. my brothers tortured me about that photo, said I looked like I had apples under my baiting suit! i certainly wasn't a chubby kid then! anyway if they make like a tummy flattening suit out there somewhere....then maybe.

anyway in other news MIL's drs are recommending chemo. That was her biggest fear...well other than dying I'm sure. She is getting a second opinion on the 22nd from a different hospital/treatment center.
I'm hoping and praying for better news for her!

In the meantime I've begun the search for a babysitter. We just can't count on MIL (we couldn't before she was diagnosed) or my Mom. I am coming up short part of the problem of living in less populated area. Also I don't trust people, so there's that. We've been very fortunate to never need to hire help, but I feel like the time is coming. MIL will be out of commission soon, and our sil/bil will have a baby before we know it. I can't count on my Mom being so far away. She keeps talking about moving down here but I just don't see it happening.

Have any of you tired care.com? I started looking into it but they want so much personal information!! I thought it'd be more like a classifieds site but they want all you and your kid's info up front. I am no ok with that, so I am at a loss there....trying local avenues but not really finding anything. Suggestions welcome!

 

[Flueky88]

Pretty I'm happy you got to have another home birth. Also kind of funny about the rug. I hope you are having less pain today and Zoey is doing well too. She is adorable and I love that he has a good amount of hair. Love the name Zoey

Winter, how have you been? Hard to belive in a couple months you will start ivf.

Gigs, sorry for the weight gain. I have a hard time believing that a 2lb gain especially from one day to the next is pure "gain". Water retention, hormones, and even muscles repairing after you've been strengthening them can cause the temporary "gain". I see it sometimes too. I prefer to try not to let it get me down, trust the process, and celebrate non scale victories.

Sorry to hear your MIL received news she didn't want. I hope her 2nd opinion is better but effective for her.

I didn't use care.com but maybe I should have. I did reach out on a mom group on FB and a local general FB group. After having a sitter, I just can't do it again without knowing them. Either flakey/unreliable or there was a situation about a week before I was due with dd3 that the wife/sitter had to call police on her husband for DV. My kids never had signs of abuse or trauma signs but it broke me. I never want to leave them in the care of someone I don't know VERY well. Sorry I know it's not really helpful but wanted to share my experience.

 

[Flueky88]

AFM

I weighed 168.4 yesterday morning. I was fully prepared to still be in 170s as we had a birthday party so cake, hot dogs, chips. Apparently, I did good though. I am not sure how much working out will occur next week as I have some long days and some traveling for work.

I had my f/u about my ultrasound. Apparently I have "extensive stones and sludge" in my gallbladder. I'm being referred to a surgeon but as far as if I'll get surgery or wait will be discussed at appt with surgeon. I haven't heard back but thinking I'll get a call next week or possibly the week after. I'm not really worried at this point though.

I brought up one last time with MIL about getting an appt earlier but she doesn't plan to. So at this point I give up. She can choose to neglect herself but I will not feel guilty if there are negative consequences.

Vs birthday party went well. I'm waiting at dr office for her 5 year check up.

Also, we might be buying a tractor today. Just waiting on the bank

Hope everyone has a great weekend.

 

[WinterBub]

I agree with flueky- a big jump day to day seems suspect. FX it wasn't a real gain, and you'll get a better number in a day or two. The whole thing is so odd- I guess it is just about making good long term choices and then everything falls into place over time. There are some weeks where I feel like I did really well and I gained or stayed flat. My OH made a huge carrot cake last week, and I ate a tonne of it, but somehow lost a pound. So, I give up- I'm just trying to make good choices, keep busy and active.

Brothers can be so mean! i bet there's a bikini that you'd feel great in. I like the high waisted stuff because i feel like it does give a nicer silhouette. And it is comfortable. I also hate one piece suits because going to the bathroom is such a drama.

I've had many people recommend care.com. never used it myself, but keep getting it recommended. We live in a city, though- so experience may vary if there's less choice/population around you. I really hate it when they want tonnes of personal info, too. I met our potential babysitter and I don't know what to think... She came around to meet us and is either quite shy or uninterested. I will text and set up a time and see how that goes. But I feel you on the difficulty of finding someone. A neighbor has a 21 year old mother's helper coming 3hrs/day all summer, and I'm dying of jealousy big, big hugs, flueky that's absolutely terrifying. Do you know the details of what happened? And don't beat yourself up- we all are doing our best, and obviously you had no idea

Do you feel 'sick' at all, flueky? I'll be interested to hear what the doctor says. Just my experience: I'd not go for surgery unless you are sure that it is needed. I've had a couple of experiences where a doctor has suggested surgery, and I've decided to wait and had things improve or resolve. Obviously if you need it, you need it and should do it I just always bear in mind that surgeons always suggested surgery (iykwim). And you're right about your MIL- you've tried and now it is her responsibility to advocate for herself.

We're fine- just getting into summer. Have any of you taken your kids for swimming lessons? Just wondering what age they were, and if what they learnt stuck? (And how many lessons did they do?) I'm getting really excited about the prospect of a new baby. Just need to prevent OH from freaking out between now and August. He may have to travel for work at some point, so hoping we can get the egg retrieval done without that being a factor.

Hope you're enjoying your new little lady, pretty!

 

[gigglebox]

Wow congratulations fluek!! The 160’s!! Are you taking progress photos? Sorry about your stubborn MIL. At least you can live with yourself knowing you spoke up. Now amy consequences she has from her choices are not on you; I know I’d feel guilty not saying anything if it might have made a difference. Sorry about the gallbladder issues! Hopefully it’s just a wait & see/play it by ear situation. Surgery is no fun…although don’t hate me for saying this but silver lining, mini vacation without kids OK, just kidding, hospital stays are never relaxing!

winter yikes on the sitter, I hope you find someone you’re comfortable with. Can you kind of hook up with the neighbor’s sitter? Maybe have her come over after she’s done for a little bit?

I am taking my older two for swim lessons next week. Ds1 has had them before; my mom took him though. She said he could use more lessons. Honestly we just so rarely go swimming but I want them to learn. So we found a private instructor. I’ll take ds1&2 thw first time, and depending on how it goes I might take ds3 along next time.

afm weight still at 168.8. I think I’m just going to “trust the process” and stay off the scale for awhile

 

[Flueky88]

Winter, I'm glad you lost a lb. Seriously, sometimes that sweet treat jumps that metabolism. It's just knowing not to make it a daily thing ya know.

The sitter called me on a Sunday and said she wouldn't be able to watch the girls the next day. She said that he could be verbally abusive but it got a bit physical and so she called the police and he was in jail. He got out stayed at a mutual friend's place. He went to some counseling and she did get back with him. The girls were always found of him and like to ride in his golf cart. I feel positive nothing happened while they were there or at least to them BUT still. We did let her watch the girls until I delivered because he wasn't back to her at that time. It was a hard decision to make.

I'm sorry it doesn't seem like the sitter will be a good match.

I do have pain, it's not severe like I'm having an attack. It isn't every day but it is happening more often. The worst pain from it was actually when I had my labs done on March 30th. At that time I had no idea I had abnormal labs and just thought it was my kidney and needed to drink more water LOL. I didn't want to move that night and I couldn't lie on my right side. It was still hurting when I woke the next morning but wasn't as bad. Also, I was having those pains starting in like February but it wasn't as strong and just dismissed it as a weird twinge or something. Now in hindsight I know.

I'm thinking that because I am having symptoms and they are becoming more frequent they will want to do surgery. The Dr I requested to see I trust very much and have seen many patient's of his (not because he botched their procedure or anything like that). In any case I won't plan a sx for next month or first half of August as we are going live with our new EMR August 1st. I'm a "super user" and involved in the cutover process.

I hadn't done swim lessons for the girls yet. I did want to this summer for V and possibly S but just too crazy with my schedule. I plan to do lessons for V and S next summer. Maybe even E.

Gigs thank you. Ugh I looked at my weights from Dr appts and I haven't been 160s since 2015!! Technically I think I got to 169 or 168 8 months after having V but started gaining back a little right before conceiving S. I haven't done the progress photos. I really need to. I can see such a difference. I need to do a photo of me in the bathing suit I got last year vs this year in the same suit.

Oh and I'm sure you look great in a high waisted swimsuit but I understand it is hard getting over insecurities that developed in our childhood. Most of the time, we are out own hardest critic. I think trusting the process is a good step for you I'm not saying it's easy to avoid steeping on the scale because we all know how satisfying it is to see that number go down BUT sometimes the scale is bad at showing our progress.

As for the surgery, my pcp said they actually just do them outpatient at the surgical center so no hospital stay which I'd prefer. Bahaha don't want that hospital bill. I did sign up for the copay plan instead of doing high deductible plan again. Our benefits start July 1st so either way my bill shouldn't be crazy. *I currently met my deductible this current benefit period so I'd just have to pay the coinsurance*.

AFM sadly we didn't get the tractor the bank was slow about getting the undersigning completed. However, kuboto is running some great financing options so I think we are going to but a new one in a couple weeks. The financing lasts until the end of the month.

Vs check up went well. She is 1/2 inch away from being 4 foot tall!! She is 46 lbs so a little slim for her height but not enough to be concerned. Was grateful the pediatrician didn't ask about covid vaccine.

 

[gigglebox]

Snagged my sil’s u/s — she asked them not to tell her. I got a copy though

what do y’all think? It is not specifically a potty shot, this one is from the femur measurement, so not too clear…definitely looks girlie to me though!

 

[WinterBub]

I'm terrible at reading ultrasounds/guessing, so I won't get involved! Did you say they want to wait and have a surprise at birth?

I know you are much more medically knowledgeable than me, flueky. And I'm sure you'll know whether or not the surgery is necessary. Just always keen to encourage anyone/everyone to be their own advocate. Here's hoping that the specialist will be able to get you sorted out with or without surgery Funny (yet not funny) that you had that much pain, but just wrote it off.

Big hug re: the childcare scare. People can be very different behind closed doors- he may have been a totally different person with the kids present. I hope that you feel ok about it all now that some time has passed. That's good re: the COVID vaccine. I was a bit annoyed with our ped (who in general I really like and trust). I asked in late 2020 if it was "safe" to put LO in classes/playgroups etc, and he was really encouraging- said they'd had zero seriously ill COVID cases in kids under 10 etc, not to worry at all. Then he did broach the COVID vaccine at the 3 year appt. (very casual- "the COVID vaccine will be available for his age this summer- are you interested?" I shook my head and nothing more was said). BUT: he gave bad advice then at one of these junctures. Why push a vaccine for a virus you told me was absolutely no threat to him? Anyway...

Let me know how your swim lessons go, giggle! I think I dropped the ball on it for this summer I found a really good place that does lessons with small class sizes at a decent price. But of course they're all booked up for the summer. I think I'll see if they can do something for us in August, and if not- then plan to get in early next year. Would be great to do a couple of weeks of everyday at the start of the summer and then take him swimming here and there to keep the skill up. I don't really care about him being a fantastic swimmer, just able to competently swim in case he fell in a pool etc.

And your weight loss is really amazing, flueky!
What will you do with the tractor?

 

[Flueky88]

Gigs it's a bit blurry but I do feel like I see the classic 3 lines for a girl. That would be so sweet to gain a niece (not that a nephew is bad).

Winter oh definitely understand wanting to make sure people advocate for themselves

My only thing with my pcp is she can be a bit pushy with covid vaccination. I have not gotten a booster and she has brought it up every time.

We will be able to bush hog the land instead of paying someone to mow or bush hog it for us. Our mower is too small to take care of all our land. We have a little over 6 acres, that is not wooded. Also, can grade our own driveway. With as much land as we have and our long gravel driveway, a tractor is a good option for us.


Oh and thank you! Ah I can't belive how close I'm getting to my goal.

AFM well I have covid. I'm isolating from the girls. My mom and stepdad are watching them while I rest. I really hope they don't get sick. I am sure they will be okay but hate it when they are sick even with a cold. I'm okay, basically just feel like I have the flu. DH was scheduled tomorrow as we had planned to go to the localish theme park. That is obviously canceled but he's going to take care of girls while I rest. I texted my boss because I am supposed to do my EPIC classes next week but seems that won't be happening. Anyways, going to rest.

 

[WinterBub]

Oh no, sorry to hear that, flueky. Hope that you're feeling better very soon. For reference: I felt achy (just a sore back) and a bit tired for 24-48 hours, and that was pretty much the end of it. Hope that you have a very easy go of things.

 

[gigglebox]

sorry y'all for not having a proper response; I am just to giddy to have that photo!!

ahh Fluek bummer about covid!! but yay for natural immunity! Ugh I hate when drs try to push what they want you to do. It make me so uncomfortable. It's actually part of the reason I switched doctors a couple of years ago. That and the staff was incompetent, but that's a story for another day. Also bummer about the tractor I hope you find another way. That will be so helpful! We have about 5 acres open and man, our riding mower is great...when it's working. The tire is busted right now. Actually I just got done mowing part of the front lawn with our push mower. uggghhh that thing is torture in 85+ degree weather. I"m on a break right now. it's blazing hot! summer said "Memorial Day? My time is now!" and here she is.

winter yes they are waiting until birth to find out. My SIL gave me her phone to view the photos and said "they didn't even look at 'that' area!" and I was like............yes they did. LOL; found the photo then emailed it to myself for further investigation she is not as ultrasound obsessive as I am. I'll wait and see if she pushes me for my opinion; if she does, I won't tell her lol. She wants to wait and I don't want to spoil the surprise. But I'm feeling pretty confident. It's not so much anything that looks "girly", it's more the lack of penis on the ultrasound. I'd likely be pretty obvious in that femur shot and it's not there.

anyway can you schedule this far out for august for swimming? at least if you can get in early you'll have a few weeks to get in some swim time before fall.

 

[gigglebox]

Ok one more pic…though I’ll admit i don’t entirely know what’s going on here. Looks like potty shot on left, umbilical cord center, head right, but then like where’s the body?

 

[WinterBub]

We will see if I can schedule swimming lessons for August! Just have to think about whether to bother at that point, or just shelve it and make sure it happens early next summer.

I will be interested to see if you get a niece or nephew, giggle! When is she due again? I absolutely could not ever wait to find out.

That's awesome about the tractor. I'd love to have some land. Sounds well worth it, flueky! Hope you can get good financing. Strike now while interest rates are still pretty low!! Hope you're doing ok with the COVID. is everyone else still negative?

 

[Flueky88]

Winter thanks, seems my symptoms are pretty similar. I was aching lower back, butt, and legs as well as fatigue, fever, headache. I started feeling better yesterday afternoon and feel mostly better today. DHstarted symptoms yesterday morning but is starting to do better. I'M still concerned so he's at dr today. His heart rate was 110 yesterday and o2 in 94 to 96 range yesterday. I know the o2 says aren't "low" but it still caused a change for him. Girls are fine so far and I hope they stay well.

Gigs still thinking girly

Oh no hope you can get a new tire or the busted one fixed. I'm sure push mowing was awful in this heat, yuck! The guy that was mowing our yard, he had a zero turn mower and it took him like 4 or 5 hours. It had a larger mower deck than ours. DH is thinking 7 or 8 hours to mow. When you think about how he watches the girls while I work during the week and he works weekends. We just don't have that kind of time. So we would like to get a tractor to bush hog and get it done quick. We could pay someone to take care of it but we would most likely be paying the same or more than if we had our own tractor and did the yard ourselves. Plus, we don't like to worry if the person will flake out on us. I think we might wait a little to see if there is a good deal on a used tractor.

 

[shaescott]

Flueks sorry about the COVID, my mom also had an elevated HR and O2 dipping down to 94ish when she had it just recently. She’s fully recovered now, though!

Gigs I have zero ultrasound interpretation skills but it’s lovely you got to see her pics!

AFM been busy trying to figure out wedding planning. SO’s mom said we can’t do it at their house because of the risk of liability for if someone falls, apparently the health insurance can go after you even if the person doesn’t want to. We’re looking at a barn venue that’s actually reasonably priced at the moment. Our total expenses will probably be like $16k if we do it there, but it would still be like $12k if we did it at home so probably worth the peace of mind.

Additionally, SO just pulled out and got some on my vulva, so I guess I’m in the TWW now unless I don’t ovulate in the next 5 days. Somehow he didn’t know you can get pregnant from finishing on the outside? I was like bruh it’s all wet on the outside too, so the sperm can swim in. I’m having another delayed ovulation this cycle, CD22 and still creamy CM. It’s increasing though, so probably will turn to EWCM in the next few days. I’ve also had cycles with scant EWCM, so we’ll see.

 

[gigglebox]

Shae did I ever suggest borrowing chairs from a church? Sometimes churches have a plethora of folding chairs to lend. I know this is like weeks late but there ya go lol
Barns are really wonderful wedding venues! I went to a barn wedding once and they had draped lights everywhere and it was just so beautiful, a lovely combination of rustic and fantasy.
Hmm well I guess your SO knows better now, lol! although chances are still slim in that scenario...but not zero!

fluek good grief that's a long time to mow! i'll tell ya, I would 100% prefer to just hire someone but we can't afford it, nor can we justify it since we have the riding mower. i got a replacement tire but hubby hasn't replaced it for whatever reason. idk. i don't harass him about it because he typically mows the grass so i figure it's his problem to solve...or not. anyway it will be nice though to be able to bush hog it when you want, plus that tractor can do double duty with other things that come along with large property. Or a back up vehicle if you need to go somewhere! LOL -- or that just here where people decide to take their tractors for 7mp joy rides down the 2 lane roads? hahaha

sorry you've got the ick going around your house! I hope the kids avoid it and hubby and you recover quickly.

Winter whatever you decide will work fine, I'm sure your DS will be excited to get in a pool whenever it happens! I this age there's no real pressure to learn to swim unless you plan on being near water, right? Honestly I want mine to have the skill but I don't like swimming. I LOVED it as a kid, but now...nope. natural bodies of water are just dark and muddy and full of creatures and it grosses me out. In a pool you're just soaking in chemicals and other people's filth an that's also gross. BTW you know that "chlorine smell" at the pool? I learned this past year that the smell is actually chorlamine, which is a chemical created when chlorine mixes with pee. Chlorine is odorless. If you're smelling it, there's pee in the pool. so, Yeah think about that next time you're at the pool *vomit*

so one of my friends is on baby watch! she was due yesterday, nothing yet. fx she has it tomorrow morning as that'll put me in for a win on her due date pool this is her first, a boy. She is a nurse and I sent her the u/s photos because he coworker likes to look at them and interpret them -- she also says girl. I feel pretty sure, and I'm really excited; but there's also this weird feeling that comes along with being the only one to "know"! I did tell hubby but I don't think he's convinced. I told my SIL that I think I know (I mean she did give me access to the photos after all lol); her shower was yesterday and she was trying to get me to spill my opinion, haha. She had cards out for people to fill out and make their guesses; I just drew a smiley face haha. I will be getting her a little necklace though with the three kiddos initials for her to open at the hospital I think (she's already picked two girl names, both start with the same letter).

 

[Flueky88]

Shae thanks that's reassuring that your mom didn't get worse.

I can't believe you'll be getting married in less than a year. Also, fx that there were no super swimmers. That way you won't have to pay for a dress alteration or have a newborn at a wedding.

Gigs yeah we got a huge discount from our previous guy. Got a quote today. 350 each time. So 700/month. Yeah paying for our own tractor is cheaper. Also, people definitely drive tractors on the road. I think someone drive their lawn mower to town last year LOL

Hope your friend has a good L&D.

 

[shaescott]

Lol I told my mom and she initially facepalmed but when I asked her my chances she said “near zero. Dang it I was expecting to need dress alterations anyway, I ordered a size up because it felt a little tight on my waist (per the size chart my waist was an inch bigger than the size I was wearing), so it’ll likely need to come in a bit for the bust. SO says I must be nearing ovulation because for the past month or so I’ve been feeling quite guilty about doing the deed because I’ve become much more religious and we’re not married of course, and now all of a sudden I want it anyway, so he says I must be fertile. He’s probably not wrong lol, no positive ovulation test yet though.

We went to a new restaurant for dinner and I got two alcohol containing drinks and for some reason they’re hitting me super hard, I’m sitting on the bathroom floor super dizzy and nauseous and tipsy. I need to shower but I’m a little worried about getting in like this. This has never happened to me before after 2 drinks, I get tipsy fast but it’s normally a pleasant tipsy, so not sure what’s going on. I know logically that it’ll pass but I can’t help but be a little worried because I feel so off and so not “with it”, my brain is like mush. It’s probably a good sign that I can tell my brain is acting like mush, though. I have work in the morning so I’m on a schedule here but I can’t do anything but sit on the floor with my head against the wall.

 

[WinterBub]

How are you all going with the COVID, flueky? hope that your OH is feeling better. Glad to hear that you had a pretty mild experience for yourself so far.

Hope that your wooziness was short lived, shae and you could go to work without any issues. GL on the TWW! The barn wedding sounds great. Such a nice backdrop for photos!! And a couple of thousand $ is well worth it for peace of mind. That also means that your in laws can relax and enjoy the day vs play hosts.

I hope that you're right about the gender, giggle! I couldn't wait to find out because I would totally end up assuming that I knew and would then be thrown for a loop if/when I was wrong. I was sure my LO was a girl... Nope I really didn't care either way, but I feel like it would've been odd to assume that all the way through and then not meet the person you were expecting to meet at the end! And gross pool factoid- lol! I thought the smell was bleach from cleaning

Having a bit of a self pity party- had a play date today and I thought we all had a great time. Texted to ask if they wanted to get together again later this week, and no reply. I get all self conscious (seemingly) about putting myself out there . So now I'm wracking my brain to think if I said or did anything weird or off putting. I hate trying to make friends as an adult!

 

[gigglebox]

Awww Winter! Maybe she’s just busy? I made a new mom friend recently that I reeeaaally like! And she is very slow to respond to texts. I’m that way too, or I think I responded but I never did, or I read a text with every intention of responding but then forget. Maybe it was just something like that. Anyway I hope you make a friend; this new friendship whereI get along with the mom and the kids get along is the first time I’ve had this literally ever. I didn’t realize how much I needed a friendship like this. It’s nice and I wish it for you, too!

shae I’m impressed your post was so coherent! How are you feeling now? Did you get a hangover?