General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[shaescott]

Dobs I have no clue when/if I’ll hear back. I’m not sure what it would do to WTT feelings but being around babies regularly might help satiate my desire for babies at least temporarily. We will see (if they offer me a job).
Sorry about your birthday not being celebrated. Sending love and hugs

Winter thanks! I’d agree with baby pj’s, always cute!

 

[WinterBub]

Oh, you would be a great fit for that job, shae you know so dang much already about all the nuances of babies/pregnancy/the female body. I really hope it works out for you!

Looks like we might have to push back ivf until September. my OH has a huge work thing on seemingly exactly the same week in August when a retrieval would happen. Sigh. I've just told him that I want September to happen no matter what if we do indeed push it back. It's fine- in some ways September would be better as LO will have started his preschool stuff. He's only doing mornings, but they let you add the afternoon if you need to, so that would be helpful. Bummed at any potential delay, and worried he will have some new work drama come up every month... I understand that August genuinely would be terribly timed, but at some point he needs to let work know that he needs a couple of weeks to prioritize a family issue etc. And again- that CB fertility monitor is amazing! Got my peak today, and when I checked with a normal opk, it was clearly positive. So nice to get a heads up with an irregular cycle!

 

[DobbyForever]

Ty ladies

After I was done throwing my pity party I decided to get up and turn the day around. Took A to brunch, went to the pool, hit Oakland Zoo, and then my little brother (only one left standing lol) took me to Red Lobster and paid for dinner/drinks. I’m exhausted though. Haven’t stopped moving since 10:00. Not built for this lol. Night night will catch up proper soon

 

[WinterBub]

I'm glad that you had a lovely day in the end, and that your brother really came through for you!

 

[DobbyForever]

Winter I think she Carter’s PJs would be lovely! Idk if you live in a touristy area, but maybe a shirt or onesie that has something silly on it that’s super US/ your area since she’s not near you. You know I have to ask, does she have a registry?

That is tricky with the work drama, and you’re so right. Who is to say that September and so on won’t bring hiccups at work. There’s never really an ideal time to have a baby. September is nice. Sorry if you’ve mentioned it, but how long from the egg retrieval to transfer? That’d put your EDD around June, right? June is nice! Idk why June has three birthstones, but they’re all solid! And then you’re not pregnant in the heat of summer. Is the retrieval a tough process that you’d need a lot of support from him for? I feel like work would understand if it’s an afternoon thing but yeah if it’s intensive in procedure and/or recovery that is really rough timing. Glad the cbfm is working out well for you!

Definitely. Like I don’t take it personally in a way if that makes sense. It’s just more like Mother’s Day and my birthday and days like that it just drives home that I don’t have a partner. Sure, I can take myself on vacation or out to eat. I’m not stranger to the treat yo’ self lifestyle, but it’d be nice if I didn’t have to. If that makes sense. I did tell my brother I can always count on him and half joked that that's why he's A's godfather. But it's true. He was the only one who would visit me during the pandemic. Even came over for Thanksgiving. He's a good kid.

Shae I’ll keep my fxed! Is this the only nearby potential work location that pays more than your current job? Are you now looking at other places as well or just this one? That’s good that it will help. I get bitterly jealous around babies, so I was worried that might kick the broodiness up a notch. They’d be crazy not to offer you a job! I second Winter, you are so knowledgeable in the area. You’d make a great candidate.

also so my friend has Covid. Neg sat then positive yesterday. She hasn’t said anything yet LOL but like she has to know that means she can’t come to A’s party, right? Idk how to point that out. Especially after my other friend went nuclear after I told her she couldn’t come. And more Etsy happiness haha

 

[shaescott]

Winter sorry you may have to push IVF back at least it would only be by a month! I’m not sure where in the US you live, but hopefully the June heat is tolerable or you have really good AC! Here in NH it varies by the year, some junes are all 60s-70s with 80s at the end of the month and some junes have frequent days in the 80s-90s throughout. This year there was a lot of hot days, so we ended up buying a portable AC for the bedroom. It works almost too well lol!

Dobs I have no idea what they pay at the place I applied to, nursing jobs usually don’t have the salary listed in the posting unfortunately. There’s two hospitals in my city, two more in the city 25 minutes away. I applied to a position at one of the hospitals in the next city as well.
BUT
HUGE NEWS!!!!! I got an email from the hospital in my city requesting an interview for the L&D job!!!!!! I had SO grab my maternity books from nursing school from my parents’ house since he was near there today so I can brush up a bit. There’s definitely a lot I need to review on mom and baby assessment, reading contraction waveforms, handling shoulder dystocia, etc. I emailed back and asked if they have availability Friday. I’d like a few days to review. I’m totally freaking out AHHHHHH!!!

 

[DobbyForever]

Oooo ic ic that’s so frustrating to not know what the wage is upfront. That’s so amazing though! Congratulations! Lovely they emailed so fast, too! Shows a big interest! FXed FXed!

 

[WinterBub]

Is that a poster, Dobby? I love it! And I clearly need to get more into Etsy for gifts/special occasions!! My friend doesn't have a registry to my knowledge... But that's a good point! I would happily buy a registry gift + whatever I think of now too. I might extend it to just a collection of little baby stuff- so, some carters PJs and bits and pieces like nail Frida nail clippers (because they are the best!). Im so happy for her! She was "unlucky in love" for a long time.

So, the retrieval process: starts day one of my cycle and then you start going in for monitoring appointments every couple of days. They scan your ovaries and do blood tests to see how you're reacting to the drugs and then tweak things as you go. At some point, they decide to trigger ovulation, and then you go in for the retrieval 36 hours later and they sedate you. I think the procedure is pretty straight forward, and less than 30 mins. But I need him there to "produce" his half on the same day, take me home after sedation, and keep an eye on me for a week or so after as they said I'd be high risk for some level of OHSS (basically fluid builds up in your abdomen from all the crap you just put your body through). So, he would likely need one day off work for the retrieval, and just to be around/able to watch LO if I were to have a problem. Most people would do a fresh transfer a few days after the retrieval, but I won't because we need to do genetic testing and it also isn't a good idea if you're high risk for ohss. So, we'd do the retrieval and then if we get a healthy embryo, would do the transfer a month or two later. So, retrieval in September would be transfer in October, baby due in July

I get what you mean: those days sting a little bit. Though a theoretical partner is always totally perfect, and a real person can't compete with that (iykwim). My brother is older than me and would never take the time to be sweet to me like your brother was for you yesterday. And the pandemic is even more sweet because that shows that he just really loves and values you, and put in the effort over time and under stress. I'm so jealous! I always wanted a sister, because I wanted that close sibling relationship. So lovely that you have that with your brother and for the record, I think that you will absolutely meet the right guy and have that partnership that you're craving.

Eep on the friend/party/covid. I wonder if you can make that clear without it being a big confrontation (just in case she is planning to go!) I'd text something like "how are you feeling?" And then say that you're disappointed she obviously can't make the party now, but hope you can get dinner or something in a couple of weeks... Just what I'd try in your shoes!

 

[WinterBub]

That's wonderful, Shae! Nothing to lose in going for the interview. If you don't get it, it's still interview experience. And if they offer you the job, you can review those details before you take it. Ahhhh, good luck! I really hope that you get it, as I think you'd be amazing. Moms and babies would be so lucky to have you looking after them.

And it is hot as hell here in July/August. But it is what it is... Need to get a healthy embryo as the first step, and then would happily take a July bday! I feel scared and excited, but at peace with everything I've been through: praying and hoping for a baby, but I can accept this as the final outcome, no matter how it turns out.

 

[DobbyForever]

Ooo a nail frida is good! I have three haha. Love them. Maybe one of those soft baby book toy things? Trying to think of something that isn’t too big but also won’t break in shipping. Right?! Registry take all the guesswork out of things.

ooo well I’m partial to July birthdays so that is tough though about the needing to keep a close eye on you the week after. I know you mentioned not having much support in that way in your area. As long as it’s a no matter what with retrieval in September then it’s not too bad. All worth it in the end. Is it for sure for sure at this point to push out to sept or still in negotiations?

yeah the twins are 9 years younger than me, so they both look up to me as a second mom. But this twin I think is the only one who really understands my trauma, so he tries to go out of his way to be there for me. I’m very lucky. Re a dude, I trust God’s plan. I see a lot of women who never found a person after leaving their abusive partner in their 30s/40s, and they have very fulfilling lives. That yearn to love and be loved never went away, but they have rich lives full of happiness and joy. So we’ll see.

Solid advice on the text! Thankfully all settled though sad how. The friend definitely expected to come and bring her daughter to the party. Posted on insta a photo of her daughter playing, mask off, with a kid for grandma camp. Her parents have her because she was negative Sunday and they just had Covid so they weren’t stressed. They were already planning to take her for a week. But wow to then go expose another kid and his grandmother. Like it has always irked me how selfish she can be, but that’s pretty low in my opinion to have let her go play with another kid and an older woman after that level of exposure. And then to let her take her mask off while hugging that kid. Anyway her kid tested positive this morning so she said Sunday is day five so no party. And I’m like lol it was no party either way but at least now I’m not the a**hole. My friend is just fatigued, and so far her daughter seems to just have fatigue as well. So looks like it’ll be mild for then both. But I seriously cannot believe she thought it was okay to still come to the party.

 

[shaescott]

Winter ah too bad the implantation won’t be until October. But a baby is awesome no matter what month it comes!

Dobs yikes that your friend let her kid around others without a mask when she literally has COVID. I don’t mask anymore but when I had COVID I sure did! I’m glad she knows she can’t come to the party, that would’ve been a pain to deal with.

AFM had to change my ticker because the one I had wasn’t updating

 

[DobbyForever]

Ooooo Shae! The other ticket was definitely cute, but this one also makes me teary eyed! Love that visual! And that it’s broken down to m/w/d which helps it to feel more like time is passing than the lump sum days.

yeah I mean the kids had masks but they weren’t being strict about keeping them on. And the fever didn’t hit until this morning. But still. The sister also tested positive this morning as well. I had a feeling they’d get it and I was nervous because my stepdad got Covid from a social group her parents are in, last week they had guests fly in for a bridal shower at their house, and then they flew to LA for a second bridal shower for the sister there. I had a feeling they were going to get it. The bright side is that we’re down to 3 families now LOL. And two are kids from school so it’s like no real additional exposure there imo haha

sad note the floors and paint are going to take two weeks :sigh:

 

[DobbyForever]

Oh and yes the Encanto door was a digital download $9 then I ordered a 2x6 photo banner from Walmart for like $25. Ultimately kind of a waste of money as I’ve no intention of using this beyond the party lol but I mean I could I guess I’m doing his new room in a dual tone green

 

[WinterBub]

Yeah, that is beyond rude. I think that 99% of the covid rules should be abolished at this point... But staying home when you know you are sick or very likely to be sick is a bare minimum. Same goes for when you have flu or norovirus in your house! At least the party attendance issue is settled...

 

[DobbyForever]

Omg so for my drama loving friends the kid my friend’s kid was playing with was her cousin’s. And she b*ing this morning that the cousin is going off on her for exposing her kid. And I’m like um this is awkward though because you did and I’d chew you out too. She says her mom told all the families that the daughter had been exposed and to make their own choices but idk. I think I’m not getting the full story. This is the same friend that called me the day my grandmother died to talk about DTD with random guys and I ended up hanging up on her. Then when I told her why she gaslit me. But she’s A’s advocate so it all balances out

 

[shaescott]

Dobs I’d flip on her too for knowingly exposing my kid. And hold up, are we talking A’s advocate for school and stuff? The one who helps him get the best accommodations and stuff? If so and she’s able to keep outside drama separate and be a good advocate then that’s great, but I’d be worried about them intersecting and her being petty when it comes to advocating for him.

 

[DobbyForever]

Yeah she’s been the one feeding me the case law and buzzwords/phrases I need to drop to get his services. She has a hard time separating her personality and drama from work. She almost couldn’t clear her credential because she couldn’t get hired as an admin. She did want to come to his IEP meetings because she knows the team, but I made excuses for why she couldn’t or just ignored her. Never gave the team permission to talk to her either. Like I trust her to give me the case law but definitely not giving her unfettered access haha

did things work out to schedule for Friday?

 

[DobbyForever]

I’m so tired lol. The stress is draining.

A’s party is tomorrow and I don’t think I’m putting out enough food. I’m trying to be as Covid conscious as possible, so generally trying to keep things an individualized as possible. I also want it to be what A wants not what I want lol. The party is 2-4 aka I’m not feeding you lunch or dinner just light snacks is what I said on the invite. Is this ok?
- Fruits (grapes, strawberries, blueberries, bananas)
- Annie’s bunnies
- Variety of chips
- chips and guacamole and salsa
- mini tacos (chicken or carnitas)
- Mexican rice

Drinks: water, Capri sun, diy mimosas

dessert bundtinis

 

[WinterBub]

That sounds like lots of food if you're worried at all- could buy some apple sauce pouches and small bags of cookies and chips. You can then hold them back at the start and only put them out if it seems like you don't have enough. Let us know how the party goes I hope that A has the best time! (And you too!)

 

[DobbyForever]

Ty ty I grabbed some pirates booty and applesauce pouches . I feel good. I’m just trying not to sweat the small stuff and remember the big picture. He tore his Antonio door and stood on his piñata, and I’m just not gonna get upset about things. As long as he has fun, that’s what counts. Will def update.

these were his school favors and then his party favors. I have some full size bubbles to sneak in that I forgot about to the party ones. Everything is taken care off food and drink wise, just need more ice as the ran out of big bags but that’s a tomorrow problem. Worked out anyway no room In either fridge for it. Have to wrap his presents tonight if/when I can get him to bed. My anxiety is already through the roof. My mom was supposed to help then family dinner out, but her blood pressure keeps sky rocketing when she gets up so just hoping she’s alright to attend tomorrow.