General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[DobbyForever]

So true about the tests. Are you feeling anything out of the ordinary?

oh yes campn! Are you just remembering names or do you go back and look lol.

yeah I mean to be fair I pretty much have ovarian pain 75% of the time LOL. I just assume it’s a pcos thing. Every time I go in and complain everything looks perfectly healthy and they think I’m making it up for attention

i had a paragard for one cycle. I have a shallow lady area (forgot have the doc put it) so it was really painful during sex which is already painful in those deeper positions. And when I took it out, my cycles were irregular forever. Hated it. Bcp is great for me though. Despite these mishaps here and there, it does wonders for my mental health and pcos when I’m on a low dose combo pill. The higher dose ones make me, literally, crazy.

 

[gigglebox]

Ahh got cha. Well definitely sounds like you found a winner then.

i was feeling more hormonal than usual and bloated something fierce, peeing a lot, as well as some bathroom issues (without getting too TMI) but all PMS — AF has arrived, on time, brought on by bd now that the decision to actively try for a kid is back in my hands, I am nervous about it again, go figure.

well I’m at the farthest point I can be from having to actually think about it again so I’m going to try and just not for now…even though it’s basically impossible. I have the type of mind that obsesses over things like this until I’m sick of it or a resolution has been made.

for now I’m trying to organize parts of my house that have become neglected and also do some art. I need a serious distraction which is very difficult to come by when I don’t have a “typical” job to keep my mind busy/productive.

 

[gigglebox]

last night: "I don't want to think of this for now."
This morning: "let's make a pros/con list."
So I actually did make one. It really did help to write everything out. I also kind of unintentionally started scrolling through old photos of ds3 when he was a newborn through 1 year. Seeing him at first as a brand new baby (like legit his first pic/video) was jarring at first as I didn't mean to actually open the picture. It happened on accident when I was trying to find an older picture of me to compare for weight loss....so at first I was instantly hit with anxiety of a newborn! I played the video, and he was crying, and it was kind of funny because the anxiety melted and I just wanted to hold and comfort him. Yes, him...the baby in a video :rolf: It reminds me of this one time I was at the airport after ds1 traveling alone, and there was a lady's baby crying and I wanted to comfort it because she wasn't, lol. I guess that's a good thing? I have motherly instincts or something...? of course you don't always want to comfort them, sometimes you are overwhelmed and just want them to shut it, lol.

Anyway all this to say I am super prone to waffling but I'm back on team let's give it one more go. I do want to share my fears with hubby though and see what he thinks. I think we're going to actually have to have a real honest conversation about it but some progress has got to be made first about the money situation. Like we have to get our taxes situated (or at least scheduled with the new CPA) or they have to have someone at least come in for an interview or SOMETHING....

 

[WinterBub]

I'm glad that your Pastor situation is sorted, Shae! And your OH looks cute in his suit it's coming up so fast!!! I was initially thinking that a ceremony coordinator would be a waste of money, but then I remembered that ours did quite a lot at our wedding Honestly, not big things- but little things like make sure the right music got played at the right time, things were timed right etc. So, I can see how there would be potential for issues if nobody is handling those little things. You also don't want to worry about that stuff, as you want to just savor the moment. So excited for you and all that you have coming up in your life (especially jealous of that Italy trip!!! )

Giggle- your pros and cons list sounds like a good idea. Though I'd be scared of me talking my OH out of it when I really deep down want to do it/want him to do it Things obviously didn't go to plan for us, and I find it hard to get my mind around the fact that if my first loss had worked out, he/she would be a toddler now. But anyway: I think my DS and your DS3 are a similar age. I've actually come around to how nice a bigger gap will be. He's quite independent and honestly a really nice little boy. I can see things running smoother with him being 4 vs 2/3ish. So, I think if you go for it, you'll be in a really good spot to have your boys be able to entertain and do their own things if you have baby needs to tend to I'm excited and do hope y'all give it a go!

Did AF show up, Dobby? I think maybe you're in a good dating spot, as it seems like you're feeling more open minded. I think it's a good thing to know some hard no issues, but not immediately write too many people off. I'm intrigued by the guy that you'd matched with before! Did you ever meet in person?

Hope your week is going well, Flueky

Someone asked about symptoms. I'm doing ok overall. I had to cave and ask for morning sickness medication, and since starting that, everything is very manageable. I still feel nausea, but am not throwing up/totally miserable. It's just vaguely there. Mostly i am just kind of wiped out. Ie. The area by our back door is a disgrace- there's papers and clothes absolutely everywhere, but I just don't have the energy to get up and sort it all out. had a tiny bit more spotting, but overall that's gotten much better- I will see MFM and my regular OB next week, and decide which one to go with. Im also so looking forward to stopping the progesterone and estrogen meds, which should happen in the next two weeks. the progesterone shots are brutal! Every single day, deep into my thigh/butt muscles.

 

[gigglebox]

oh no Winter!! The shots sound terrible! I had to get steroid injections with ds3 before labor (or crap where they maybe something to increase my blood levels....? i can't remember anymore) and those were terrible. same spot. very viscous. Not pleasant. so yay for when they cut your loose from the meds! Could they be part of the reason you're not feeling your best? Also when is your next scan? Hey don't beat yourself up about mess. We've all been there, some of us not even pregnant. Ok it's me. I'm there now.

 

[DobbyForever]

Sorry W and F are my no prep days so busy busy. AF showed and thankfully all the weird mucus and tissue are gone per usual lol.

Short Guy (5’2) asked me out this weekend. Doing tapas then a pop up comedy show. He already bought my ticket and said he’ll make plans for pre show once we know exactly where the show is happening. It’s byob and he remembered I like red so he said he’s happy to bring some or to let him know if there’s a particular varietal/vineyard I like. I joked with my friend he tries so much harder than all the tall guys I date. Divorced. Was married 12 years. Court docs check out. He says they struggled to conceive for 6 years and she was hiding miscarriages from him. Then she started drinking and hurting herself. Ultimately she cheated and that’s when he felt he couldn’t work through things with her. So idk we’ll see.

rematch hasn’t texted back. There’s one other potentially interesting guy. He tossed a feeler out about a date and I hinted he can ask me out, but he’s headed to Europe to visit family so he hasn’t asked. Shirt or is also leaving to travel for work on Sunday for a week but was very much like let’s see each other Saturday vs waiting until he gets back.

he’s just too nice and I don’t like nice guys I like my men with a hint of toxicity

Will catch up tomorrow

 

[shaescott]

Dobs we’re using silk flowers because in my pricing research I found that they’re much cheaper than a florist. I can tell they’re not real but they’re still very pretty and they’re fairly realistic so from a distance you probably couldn’t tell. I am having a bachelorette party at some point, no clue if my MOH has started planning it yet.

Just a gentle thought, perhaps rejecting men who are overly nice to you is leading you to men who won’t make you a priority. Though I totally understand that there comes a point where either it’s suffocating or it comes off as the guy has no self confidence and is just fawning over you because they’re desperate to get someone to love them, which is very unattractive in my opinion. There is a balance.

Gigs yes, Campn, that’s right!
We are not doing a first look because SO is superstitious about it. We might do a first touch where we hold hands around a corner or door without looking at each other just to try to calm each other down from the anticipation anxiety. Hahaha when we were younger I always thought I would hate a beard on him. Then once he got old enough to grow a proper one (probably 17-18ish) and he actually did grow one, I was like “never shave again please, it makes you look like an infant”, so now he just trims it really short when it starts to look like he has a religious objection to shaving

So the guys are paying for the suits, and they’re buying not renting. Originally I suggested an $89 suit to try to be price conscious with them, but one of them came to me and said he’d rather spend more money on a nice high quality suit than less money on a crappy polyester suit. I asked the guys if they wanted to rent so it was a higher quality suit at a lower price than buying, but they unanimously said they’d rather buy so they can get it tailored and so they have that suit for future events. We do have bridesmaid dresses, they’re a neutral muted pink off the shoulder high low dress, I found it on Amazon and wore it in a different color to my cousin’s wedding, and I loved it so I suggested it for the bridesmaid dress and the girls liked it.

Sorry both of you ladies got hit with AF.

Winter I’m glad the new medication is helping!

This morning what was meant to be my CD6 reference test for my fertility monitor said I had an estrogen level of 400 (my baseline is 100-200), so I’m now back to considering myself CD33 instead and not taking that spotting as a light period, because such a high number could indicate ovulation is coming. However, a repeat test this evening was back to baseline, so it could’ve been a bad test or the end of a surge/a quick surge of estrogen. We will see. If I’m about to ovulate I’m going to be really mad, because it’ll put me on a schedule that if it stayed that way would make me not fertile for the entire honeymoon. I’d be so upset. All this because I got stressed from the pastor swap scramble. Honestly with the stress of the wedding I wonder if I’ll even be able to ovulate in Italy, even if I get my dates right, because the overwhelm from everything could delay my ovulation. It’s so darn sensitive to stress.

 

[gigglebox]

Dobs your date sounds fun!! Try to look past his height (haha get it, you're taller so you can do that?) -- JUST KIDDING. Plenty of decent man on the shorter side. On a serious note though, maybe try to, I don't know, NOT go for toxic men? That will be where you find happiness (although to be totally fair I now people can hide it well before they let their crazy out of the bag). and how sweet of him to get a date in prior to travel. And he remembered you beverage of choice! I hope the date goes well.

Shae that's awesome the men were agreeable to the suits. Also that the dresses are liked by all. It isn't a huge regret but at my wedding I let the girls pick their dresses so long as they were black & white, and I wish I hadn't done that. I wish they all had the same dress. It looked a little tacky in the photos because they were all very different. I should have at least given a length and material, then left the rest up to them. Oh well! Also I 100% regret not having a first look with hubby. We were both nervous as crap (so much so that I think we both ended up take anti-anxiety meds, at least I know I did, lol). I think it would have done us both well to just get together before the ceremony and just have a moment alone. We hadn't seen each other since the day before (we owned a house together by then but I stayed the night at my parents' place). Honestly at the time I didn't know "first looks" were a thing. Maybe they weren't back in 2011. I would have been fine with it though; our wedding was pretty non-traditional so it would have fit. Also by the time I got down the isle my curls had fallen a bit, so he didn't see me at my maximum made up state.

Don't worry about your fertile window too much Shae! trust me, the newlywed excitement doesn't end as soon as you get back from honeymoon. It will linger for a bit as you reenter society as a married person, lol. So try not to think of it as being your only opportunity. Beside, anything could happen between now and then, it could very well get back on track.

And as an aside I am TOTALLY jazzed for your wedding!!! It's so sooooon!

 

[WinterBub]

I woke up bleeding quite a bit including clots. Called and went in right away- baby looked great (and with a good HR at 170), and they could see a collection of blood in the uterus separate to the baby. They didn't say SCH, but I guess that's what it is. Get the feeling this is going to be a long, dramatic pregnancy.... Luckily I'm off to the MFM next week already.

I'm also team "try a new kind of guy", Dobby. If you know your taste leads to unhappy relationships, giving some straight up nice guys a go might be just the ticket. I'm lucky in that kind and a little nerdy is seemingly is my type

The suits sound great, Shae. I can see why they would rather have something nicer that they can keep and reuse. And sounds like you were really respectful and open to them and what their price point might have been, which is very nice. Some brides and grooms are, well, not that way. My brother was a total groomzilla. (So much second hand embarrassment, though he likely still doesn't feel he was ridiculous ). I hope that your fertile window holds for Italy.

Did you make your pros and cons list, Giggle? Sorry that it wasn't to be this month. I get where y'all are coming from: an oops would work perfectly as you kind of secretly both want to, and it feels different/heavy having to make the choice!

 

[gigglebox]

"an oops would work perfectly as you kind of secretly both want to, and it feels different/heavy having to make the choice!"
oh my gosh so much ^^^this!! exactly how I feel, and I think how he feels, too. I did make a pros/con list. I think the pros outweigh the cons, but I also made a "things I'm worried about" list, which includes my fears of what the future "might" hold...most of it is negative (things like what if one of us dies, or another kid causes bad health issues for me, or if the kid has special needs, or if he/she feels left out because of the larger age gap, etc.) -- things that may never come to fruition. If you add those in, they outweigh the pros by far but I don't know how realistic of fears they actually are.

I told hubby about the list. He said, "Oh wow really getting serious about it, huh?" and I said yes, also that I have too much time to think during the day and had to get it out on paper. He said it was a good idea, and he wasn't sure if he'd read it or not (I told him where it was when it was late in the evening), so I have no idea if he did. We haven't discussed it though. Honestly writing it all down and thinking of all the pros and cons makes me super nervous and unsure....and then I look at pictures of my kids and watch them interact with each other and my heart is like GO GO GO!!! ALL THE BABIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway the ad for a new mechanic should be up so hopefully there will be some movement there; would be nice if even one person just inquired before the weekend....

Winter that is so scary!!! I'm so sorry you woke up to that! But a naughty little bub in there already hopefully she isn't this dramatic once out of the womb! Honestly that is so great you are going to MFM as that will ease so much fear I'm sure. They are great with the ultrasounds and being more detailed. They may be able to see and actual SCH that the regular tech can't pick up (or maybe just doesn't know how to read the imagery, if that makes sense).

 

[gigglebox]

So annoyed. The guy who was supposed to put up the ad for a mechanic didn't do it. He is evidently having second thoughts about it, saying he doesn't want to deal with it (i.e. the interviewing/hiring process). What. The. F. If you had the opportunity to build your business to a point where you didn't have to work and STILL COLLECT A CHECK, why on God's green Earth wouldn't you DO THAT????????? Hubby is annoyed, said, "guess I'll do it myself Monday" and they didn't want to talk about work anymore. This just weighs on things so much. I don't know that I want to try for another if I can't have some sort of assurance that hubby will be more of a presence at home to help with the transition into 4 kids...grrrr.

This wouldn't be such big deal if I didn't feel like I was on such a time crunch, and also if hubby wasn't so stressed about the work stuff himself....

On the plus side he did contact the CPA so there has been movement there. I really hope we get SOMETHING back, or at least not owe this year...babies ain't cheap!

 

[DobbyForever]

Winter I’m so sorry. I second Gigs, it’s such a gut wrenching feeling to wake up to blood. I’m glad that they were able to see you soon and that your little girl is doing swell. I’m sorry that there will always be an air of worry with this pregnancy. I know you’re going to be in amazing hands with the MFM, but how are you feeling on the emotional side of it? Do you think you might need some consistent support there as well or you feel like you’ve got that handled? Glad you’re just a couple weeks out from not having to do the injections. I remember watching my mom doing them and yeah def not fun. And glad you found a solution tot he morning sickness. It sucks to be worn out but always nice to have the reassuring symptoms. And agreed again don’t worry about the mess. You’re taking are of your family while growing a whole person. A little mess never hurt anyone.

Shae ooo nice. Do you think your doe/hen/bach party will be like the classy route or the degenerate route. i’ll give you all one guess what mine would be I feel that. I’m pro silk flowers if the cost is huge, but only if there isn’t a real (and affordable) flower that you are IN LOVE with. It’s your wedding, and it only happens once. It’s going to be beautiful, emotionally and aesthetically, regardless of the type of flowers though. I grew up with a ton of silk flowers around the house, and I liked them, They can be really well done. I’m not a first look fan. To me, the first look happens when you come down the aisle. If I could afford it, I’d want a photographer that has an assistant. One camera pointed at him and one camera pointed at me. And a videographer. LOL That’s really nice that the groomsmen are willing to buy a suit and wait a better one. Very considerate of you to think of their finances, too. And yay for an Amazon dress you know you like. Sorry there’s some potential timing issues with the ovulation. Are you worried that you won’t get to say you conceived in Italy or that you’ll be on your period in Italy? Or both. Hugs. Not that I know from experience hahah but I think Gigs is spot on that he excitement of being newlyweds will continue after the honeymoon. There will be plenty of firsts as husband and wife that will make for great conception memories. And yes baby making sex… yum! I didn’t really get that sensation with A’s dad because deep down I know he was sabotaging/a s* person but my fiancé before him… yummy. I’ve said it before in the thread but golly. The one time he was over and we were in our foreplay and he asked if I had started my next pack yet then told me not to because he wanted to make a baby with me… and us, knowing nothing about the menstrual cycle and conception, thought we could have potentially made one that night. So glad we didn’t know how it works though hahaha but still that was hot. I’d love a risky honeymoon baby for you, but I really want you to have that intentionality as well where SO consciously makes that decision to get your pregnant.

Gigs def I think your cons aren’t really cons just so much things that need an action plan. Also, I’ve literally been laughing all day from the “look past it” joke. ’m only 5’2.5 so he’s my height in flats. I’ll probably wear my short heeled boots, and he’ll be slightly smaller than me. I don’t care though. My dad’s side of the family are all short plus, cue slightly racist comment, being in the Thai club in college I was around short dudes all the time. Though I do prefer more of the 5’7 and above range. 6-6’2 is sexy. OA is like 1-2 inches too tall though. I'm so sorry about the ad! That's such bs! Yay for the CPA movement though. I can kind of get it. Hiring someone and then hoping they're trustworthy enough to run things is a lot, but yeah you just gotta jump in and make it happen. Like a baby

Re dating. I do have to write people off fairly quickly. I don’t have a lot of time or desire to go out on dates, so I have to really like the person or have good vibes to even agree to go out with them to begin with.

It’s less that he’s overly nice though I did watch a psych clip about how being overly eager/ chased too much is a turn off and why. Like it shows that you’re actually deeply insecure when you cross a certain point. His entire personality is annoying. He reminds me of one of my best friends. He has to always be doing something or talking to someone. He can’t just exist. Every night at 9:30pm, he texts me to ask if I want to talk on the phone while he cooks dinner. But I’m trying to go to bed at 9:30 or I’m enjoying my alone time. Once a week, sure. But every. F-ing. Night. Toss in the mansplaining and bragging over things he, frankly, doesn’t have a right to brag about. One of the companies he sells for makes parts for e-cigs. To each their own, but it rubs me the wrong way that he takes pride in selling to Big Tobacco. Plus he’s so braggy about his job like OA isn’t a VP of Sales/ CRO or like he’s bragged about his salary. I actually make more than him. And he’s too future minded like he’s just always making comments about how great our relationship is going to be. Just blah. And he showed me his motorcycle and I hate the seat he chose, which he absolutely loves. It’s just a lot of little things. The nail in the coffin was when he mansplained teaching to me…. As my bff said, “He’s too short to be that annoying.” all my friends and family are being next level savage about his height. I’m not excited about this date at all. I didn’t bother getting my eyebrows/face/underarms waxed. Haven’t planned my outfit. I’d cancel but he’s already paid.

The other interesting guy I’m getting trouble only vibes from. Looks like fun trouble though. But he’s out to Europe for 3 weeks anyway. Did I mention OA resurfaced? 100% just trouble there. But I will say even though OA and whatever we called the last guy didn’t end up working out because they didn’t want commitment, I was happy. They treated me well, OA really well. And they check off more “boxes” each time I date someone. So I do feel like things are trending better. OH that’s another thing Short Guy said that pissed me off. So obviously we all say that comment like he checks so many boxes or he has so many things off my list… but we say that to our friends. He said it to me! He was like, “You check off so many of my boxes.” And then I had said something about A’s ASD and being a picky eater. And routines. He was like I may be autistic because of something completely stupid. It was like he took my son’s diagnosis lightly and made a joke of it , and I know that wasn’t his intent but like…. Dude. I know he means well, but 90% of the s* that comes out of his mouth annoys me.

But I have realized that I don’t really know if I want to be married or have another kid, and I think that’s playing heavily into things. I joked to my friend that I’m turning into a 50 year old dude. All I want is someone to hang out with and then DTD with and then go about my business. The bf lite experience! I get it now why all these guys are doing it.

 

[shaescott]

Dobs okay if the dude straight up annoys you then that’s a no. Occasionally being annoyed by things they do is one thing, but if the first thing you think of when you think of them is being annoyed by them, they’ve gotta go. That’s no way to live.

Gigs ugh that’s so annoying about the ad. I hope it gets posted and his doubts are assuaged soon.

Winter that’s so scary about the bleeding, I’m so glad to hear baby is okay!

AFM I’m glad you guys think the honeymoon phase will last past the honeymoon, that’s my main concern, that I won’t catch him in that emotional whirlwind while fertile. I don’t care if I conceive in Italy so much as that I conceive shortly after the wedding. My periods are also very easy, so I’m not too worried about that, though I’d really like not to be on my period on my wedding night lol.

I’m going to consider this a new cycle, based on the heavy spotting I had I’m CD9. My estrogen levels started spiking at CD7 which according to Google is very appropriate. I am a bit worried that my FSH level is literally 0 in my urine. Like, FSH is required for ovulation, so how can I ovulate from this estrogen surge without it? Maybe it’s just not picking up my FSH? This surge is also more than double the little surge I had during this past anovulatory cycle, I only went up to the 200s then, today I hit the 500s. I’d really prefer not ovulating until at least CD17 to get back on track with dates (my usual is CD17-20) but that may not happen. If my FSH is actually zero right now though, I’ve got a better chance lol.

Anyway, I googled having no FSH and this happened and I laughed out loud.

FSH, fish, same thing.

 

[Flueky88]

Gigs, I don't think I've had grasshopper pie before but I'm sure I'd like it.

Yay for 10 lbs down!! Way to go

Sounds like DH would like another but doesn't want to fully commit to that decision. I'm sorry that the other guy didn't put up the ad. How frustrating. I do hope that they can find someone and your husband can step back.


Dobby, I'm so glad that your brother either didn't really pay attention to the tests or just kept ot to himself. How mortifying. I don't even like DH seeing my opks. *I test just to track my O and know when to predict AF.*

It sounds like short guy is a bad match. ed flags to me if already annoyed and some of those comments!!!

Shae your SO looked great in his suit. I can't believe you will be married in a little over 2 months!!

Winter, so sorry little girl gave you quite a scare! I hope the bleeding has subsided. Hope your appt goes well with MFM and you can get a sneak peak at baby girl again.


AFM S's party was last night. I'm so exhausted. I only slept 3 to 3.5 hours Wednesday night and I haven't recovered from that, being crazy busy with party stuff, and AF arrived today. Ugh, no motivation to do anything and my cramps were bad this morning.

I did get the kids out today though and let them play with bubbles, play doh, and kinetic sand.

Party went well last night. It was a small party but that's fine by me. I bought way too much pulled pork but am freezing almost all of it to eat later. I made baked beans in my ninja foodi, so good. I also made a cookie cake. It was think but a nice light texture. I prefer the chewy kind but it was still really good. S like her gifts and the food. She ate a pulled pork sandwich, baked beans, and chips. She is definitely more adventurous with eating than the other 2.

Weight was the same as last week but am pleased with that since I'm exhausted and ate cookie cake and 1 cupcake yesterday.

 

[shaescott]

Flueks I’m glad S’s party went well! Yum, pulled pork. Good stuff. The cookie cake sounds good too.

Thanks, 98 days to go, ahhhh! This month has a lot of appointments, first alterations, hair and makeup trial, pastor meeting, etc. Crazy.

 

[gigglebox]

I can't believe it Shae. I remember when you first started talking on here and proposal was a long ways away! I am looking forward to a photo overload afterward. You'd better deliver
Love you plan for everything TTC-wise but do remember it doesn't always happen for everyone right away, so even if you do convince him to throw caution to the wind, it might take a couple months. Just trying to set realistic expectations don't hate me! Also haha about the fish. I have no answer on the FSH though, except that I'm totally lost on where you are in your cycle with all the mixed symptoms.

Sounds like a wonderful party and busy weekend for the kiddos! I love when I can convince the kids to spend a long time outside. Mostly they just want tv/video games. How do people in apartments do it??? My kids have 9 acres and still are not amused outside. Well, not for long anyway. I'm thinking maybe it's time to introduce them to power drills this summer and see if they can create some cool things to climb on, or maybe a tree house construction project is something for the near future...
anyway... Maybe you can sneak in a nap here somewhere Fluek, or get hubby to let you sleep in tomorrow

Dobs I didn't realize you were such a shortie! or maybe I just didn't remember. oh wow, yeah that guy sounds a bit clingy and super offputting. Like a car salesman....ewww. I hope the date is good though, at least you'll spend a part of it not having to actually talk to each other Also glad I could make you laugh. and wait what?? What the heck does OA want now?? I thought he had pretty much dropped out and he was done?
As a total aside, hubby is currently infatuated with modern dating protocol. He's been watching videos about it and interviews, etc. Holy moley, I do not envy you and what the dating scene is now. Wow is seemed so simple back in my day thank God I met my match through friends. How do you navigate how dating works now? I've heard that dating apps are basically the norm now, is that true? I mean to be fair that's how my brother met his wife so I know it's not all as toxic and terrible as it looks....I mean SOME people must be making it work....but it looks like it just so crazy!

 

[shaescott]

Gigs it’s crazy how long it’s been. For some reason (possibly because of the plant currently in my body impairing my thought processes) it makes me think of how people always said I’d miss high school as an adult, and how I think those people either peaked in high school or are lying up their butt. High school was the hardest years of my life (made less horrible by SO being there, but it still sucked). College was better, but still tough. I am living the dream right now. I don’t bring my work home with me, so I have way more time to rest and catch up on household chores and exercise and pursue hobbies than I ever have before. I also have the money to do so, which I didn’t have a steady stream of before. I think where my brain was coming from with that tangent is that I’ve been with SO since the worst years of my life and with him I’m now in the best years of my life so far. It blows my mind that I am where I am. This is what 14 year old me dreamed of. She would be so thrilled to know that the boy she just started dating was going to be her husband.

Anyway. Yes, I promise to post pictures lol.
I feel like if I hadn’t been given the expectation since childhood that women in my family “do or do not, there is no try”, I’d be much more chill and expect it to potentially take a few months. Unfortunately, I was given that expectation, so now if I don’t conceive first try I’m going to think something must be wrong.

Re: my cycle, for a while I wasn’t sure whether I was having a super long cycle with some heavy spotting in the middle or an anovulatory cycle with a new cycle having begun. I’m now going with the latter. Last cycle I had an estrogen surge right when I’d expect it considering when I normally ovulate (CD17-20), and it came a few days after a small FSH surge, but then I didn’t have an LH surge after it, and just never ovulated. My progesterone didn’t rise either, so I know I didn’t miss the LH rise. CD28 (aka CD1) I started spotting, and it was heavier than usual spotting, but lighter than my normal period. New CD7 my estrogen started to rise, now CD9 and it’s super high. But… my FSH is 0. Not sure how I’m supposed to ovulate without FSH. I also am just generally worried that my baseline is way below the reference range.

I agree, I definitely thought Dobs was like 5’6”. I’m sure I’ve said how tall I am, but if you don’t remember, how tall do I seem?
I remember being shocked at how tall Fleuky is. What is her height, 5’11”? Or is it over 6’?

 

[DobbyForever]

Shae got it! I see, I see. Hopefully no period on wedding day! I do think the glow will last, especially as you two continue to build that life together. What about tangibles? Similar to Gigs pros/cons/plan of attack. Are there certain things that you an SO can agree to achieve? Though it’s a bit late for that haha. I think you’ve been pretty transparent it was marriage and that’s coming on up. For me, it was my age, my career, and having a secure place to live. Isn’t it sad that having a stable partner was never factored in there? Oops. I have no insight on the hormones but lol fish vs fsh. How do you feel about it being that last stretch? excited for all the appointments? Homestretch! Can’t believe its less than 100 days! I agree, whatever you’re comfy sharing we’d love to see photos! I’m with you. You either peaked in high school/college but if I’m being honest that mid 20s was my favorite. No real responsibility outside of work. Making moves, making money. Could eat out or travel or do what I wanted when I wanted. I love my life now, but it’s different. 22-27 was lit. You seem tall to me. Like, in the nicest way possible, a Barbie doll. Tall but small.

Fluek right?! Like all these tests are so personal. The hormones, the urine Sleep deprivation and AF is a lame combo, hopefully you get a chance to rest soon! Yay for leftovers! Glad the party went well.

Gigs 9 acres! Love that! i have the opposite problem. I have to convince A to stay inside haha. The kid was not built to be contained Building a treehouse would be awesome! Sounds like a lot of work, but I love in those hallmark movies when the kids have a treehouse they built with their parents in the backyard.

Re OA: He just wants to DTD lol. I had asked him if he still wanted to maintain something casual, and he had said no because he felt like that is using me at the time. I had asked him something, oh what the knot was that he used when he tied me up because frankly I'm not trying to let that go. And he said he wasn't going to tell me but he'd show me but he didn't want to use me. I pointed out that I showed up every single time with my make up done but in a way it wouldn’t smear on his bed, matching bra and panty, full waxed, in 4in heels, and in either a dress or skirt so heels could stay on as clothes came off. So, was I really being used or was it consensual and pre-determined? Not out here saying that a woman’s outfit is a green light to a guy at all, but in my case my words and actions were definitely predetermined. I told him just don't cross boundaries unless he's serious and he can stay on my roster. Safe, consensual, and good are not easy to come by for FWB. Especially ones that feed you first and let you stay and talk after lol.

Re dating: In terms of finding people, for me it’s all on the apps. A lot of my happily married friends my age meet people through work. Like they work for a big tech company and bump into someone from a totally different department at a work party. In fact, my mom’s coworker left teaching to go work for a tech company because she wanted to find a man and lo and behold she was engaged, married, and pregnant within like 2 years. I find Bumble and Hinge to be the least creepy. Guys are much more polite these days and open/honest right away about what they want compared to like 5 years ago. I think maybe because the apps have cracked down on lude behavior. unsolicited pics. Most of it comes down to screening. Like my bff she’ll go on a date every day or multiple in a day because our baseline requirements are different and she doesn’t screen guys before she goes out with them. Me. We have to talk on the app for 2-3 days before I’ll give you my number or a text app number if I’m still on the fence. Then we have to book a date a week out. Partially because I have to book appointments and clear it with my mom and I don’t do work night dates unless I already know you. I used to also require a phone call before the first date, but I’ve stopped doing that because tired. I’d love to meet someone more organically, but none of my friends know single guys OR the single guys they know are not looking for serious relationships. My friend keeps letting her friends set her up and it’s like blind dates from hell every time haha. Or the guys I’ve seen her set people up with are her situationships!!! Then she’s all shocked when it blows up in everyone’s faces.

Re Short Guy. Dragged myself out. He texted that he was running late 15-20m, and so I went to get A dinner and ended up being late to his late. Which worked out because then we only had 40 painful minutes at the bar. I was taller than him because I wore ankle boots. I wouldn't care but, I'm going to be a bit ableist here, looking at his hands and face you can tell that he's not 5'2 like the men in my family are 5'2-5'4 but there's something atypical. Couldn't say what but yeah, given he wants kids and I already have a kid with special needs. It's not ideal.
Pluses: He paid for my half beer. He paid for the tickets to the show. He brought the wine. He drove me from the bar to the show and home because I took a Lyft there. Comedy show ended up being really funny. Nobody bombed. Unique first date.
Cons: The height is a problem for me having now seen him. He didn't hold the car door open for me. When he dropped me off, he accidentally drove two houses down from my mom's. I hadn't even crossed the property line on one house before he drove off. To be far, it's a very safe neighborhood on a cul-de-sac but still... These things bothered me because we had talked at length about how I'm very into chivalry and things like that. He used his phone to get directions to the show, but when he pulled it out again to get directions to my mom's his Bumble app messages were open. So he had checked his messages while he was in the bathroom. Too touchy. I think he touched me every five minutes. Which would be cute if I liked him lol. He doesn't really have ambition. He dropped out of a lot of things and is just like... I don't know. I don't get that sexy hunger to excel from him. Not that I'm here judging (but I am because I grew up in hoity toity ville) while he did pay for everything, it wasn't out of the realm of a standard first date. My beer was $8, my ticket was $27, he drives a Prius and taking me home was on his way home, and the wine he brought was a $20 red blend that a friend gifted to him. I spent more on my Lyft to get there lol.
Honestly, I'd have given him a second date if he was taller. Everything that wasn't good was overlookable for a date two. But toss in the height/potential genetic condition when he wants to have kids like... I just can't do that. I don't know if I want another kid at all anymore let alone another child that will have extraordinary needs. But I'm glad I went because the show was good.

 

[Flueky88]

Gigs, yes so thankful to have land for the kids to run around on. V actually asked to go back in yesterday that never happens. Going to back out today after it warms up a bit more. No naps, but E took a nap on me and I semi rested with her. I did get a good night rest and I usually have more energy on CD2 sooo feeling much better.

Shae I think for some they miss it because they had some privileges (able to drive), able to hang out with friends, but no responsibility like an adult (groceries, bills, housing, etc.). I don't feel like they were my best days but I do miss some of the perks LOL.

I'm tall but just a little bit. I was 5'9" at some point but I seem to be 5'8" nowadays. I do feel like there was a girl on here that was quite tall but I cannot recall who. My hubby used to be 6'4" but he's like 6'2" now. My girls are very tall though and I think I'm going to be the short one eventually I think both V and S were greater than 99th percentile at their last checkup.

I wouldn't let the monitor get you down. I think it's got to be more than 0. Also that search suggestion from the other day I do second gigs about when you do start trying to set expectation that it can take time even for young, healthy couples.

Dobby that was really gross that he was checking bumble messages during the date!! I know it wasn't in front of you but still!

Sorry he was crappy but glad you enjoyed the show.

 

[shaescott]

Dobs I agree that 22-kids must be the peak of living the dream. Done with school, have your own place, no responsibilities outside of work. That’s where I am right now.

I am indeed tall lol, less Barbie small than I used to be but now I have the big butt and hips and boobs, just not the tiny Barbie thighs or stomach.

Re: short men, I definitely think they need to still have outward signs of good fertility, as superficial as it sounds. It’s very natural to look for a man who can produce strong healthy children. SO is 5’4”, but he has broad shoulders and just a good sized upper body with a long torso. When I sit next to him, we look the same height. He also has very big man hands. Just the other day he told me he was eating lunch with a new coworker and when he stood up the guy went “where’s the rest of you??? I thought you were like 6’ tall!” It’s like his legs just never grew (but he also has huge thigh muscles so no skinny legs here). He says he wasn’t the short kid until puberty, everyone else shot up and he just didn’t. Likely it was related to his meds, he has ADHD and his adderall made him not hungry, so his nutrition was poor during that time. He’s also been off the adderall for a month now due to a massive shortage, the pharmacy hasn’t been able to fill his prescription, and after a brief struggling period, he’s doing okay using caffeine instead, he says it doesn’t work as well but it does enough that he can function decently. He thinks if the shortage ends he might not go back on it, it’s not great for you after all. He also thinks his sex drive has improved massively since he stopped taking it, which he likes. All of a sudden he’s commenting on my body every time he sees it, which hasn’t been the norm in a very long time. Definitely makes me feel good about myself lol.

I definitely don’t love that he didn’t watch you get safely in the door of the house. That’s pretty standard procedure, even in a safe area. Just sounds like he’s not a good match. If his touch makes you recoil, it’s a no.

Flueks that’s weird, idky I thought you were so tall. Hm.

I didn’t have friends in high school, I only hung out with SO, and I had a part time job as a cashier as soon as I could drive, so there was not much freedom to do as I pleased there. So yeah, not a high school fan.

I was 99th percentile in height for the first few years of life, and I ended up tall but not crazy tall. My dad is 6’7” too. My sister just had a growth spurt at 18 somehow and is now like an inch taller than me when she was always an inch shorter. I am not amused that sibling height rivalry is real.