General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[gigglebox]

will comment more later as i have to make dinner but you couldn't pay me enough money to relive my high school years. I do not miss it AT ALL. I do think it would be fun to go back if only I could keep the knowledge/idgaf attitude I have now. THAT would be fun. Tell all the snooty b's to shove it and have fun being pretty because time will steal it away. Enjoy the attention from the boys, Kelsey, 'cause time's a bitch and you'll be fat and alone! HAHAHHA I hope you love cats!!
ok just kidding I made that person up but you get it Actually I was bulled in middle school. High school was better because I was left alone but I had serious depression issues so............

Dobs yeah big pass on that. If you aren't feeling it, oh well. What ever happened to that nice guy who would be good dad material from awhile ago? I think y'all may have been coworkers so it was off the table but you've since moved districts, right...??

 

[gigglebox]

will comment more later as i have to make dinner but you couldn't pay me enough money to relive my high school years. I do not miss it AT ALL. I do think it would be fun to go back if only I could keep the knowledge/idgaf attitude I have now. THAT would be fun. Tell all the snooty b's to shove it and have fun being pretty because time will steal it away. Enjoy the attention from the boys, Kelsey, 'cause time's a bitch and you'll be fat and alone! HAHAHHA I hope you love cats!!
ok just kidding I made that person up but you get it Actually I was bulled in middle school. High school was better because I was left alone but I had serious depression issues so............

Dobs yeah big pass on that. If you aren't feeling it, oh well. What ever happened to that nice guy who would be good dad material from awhile ago? I think y'all may have been coworkers so it was off the table but you've since moved districts, right...??

 

[WinterBub]

The party food sounds delicious, Flueky! Love BBQ- brisket, sausage, and pulled pork are my go tos glad that it went well! And glad that you're feeling somewhat better.

Annoying about the ad, giggle. Hopefully hubby takes care of it himself! Put the ad up and then go make a baby!!!!

My guess is you're 5'8", Shae. I'm 5'6"ish and the pictures I've seen of you make me think that you're a smidge taller than me. Sounds awesome that your OH might not go back on his medication. Little silver lining if he's been able to go without and feel good. Not loving the medication shortage stuff in general, though

Yeah, Dobby... You definitely need to find a nice guy. But a nice guy who you find attractive, who is funny, who you have chemistry with, who makes sure that you get home safe... The way you tell the story, it makes me think of a SATC episode where Samantha meets a really short guy. I don't envy you re: dating apps. SO and I actually met on Match, but that seems like a different era of online dating than today! The thing I noticed then was the difference in using a paid vs unpaid dating site. A friend and I were online dating at the same time- she got lots of creeps because she was on Plenty of Fish, which was free. Like one guy had only photos of his legs in fishnet stockings on his profile. And all his comments were about sexy legs etc. Shudder. I had some not super great guys message me but nothing too weird, and I thought that was maybe because I paid for Match at that point.

Also- if stay away from OA. Move on, girl. :Hug:

AFM- spotting still. So glad I at least meet the MFM people tomorrow and get a higher level scan. I'd like to know how big the SCH is, as that seems to be the big indicator of whether it will resolve itself or become a whole thing. It didn't look big on my scan on Friday, but that was on a crappy machine. Would also be good to see if it looks like it changed since Friday.

 

[shaescott]

Whelp, the monitor says my LH is surging I’m gonna be so mad if my cycle doesn’t get back on its previous track in the next 3 months. Or maybe I’ll ovulate late in June due to wedding stress and end up ovulating in Italy? We’ll see. Idk how my FSH is still saying 0 when my LH is surging, that doesn’t seem possible. I’m wondering if my FSH is weird and not showing up properly on the test.

Gigs lmao middle school was also worse for me. I had a Kelsea bully honestly though, I wish the best for my middle school bullies. They were kids. Late high school, I have very little sympathy. You’re 17 and still making fun of someone right next to them so they can hear you? Yeah no.

Winter I’m sorry you’re still spotting, hopefully you’ll get lots of good insights at MFM.

 

[gigglebox]

Winter good luck and {{{positive vibes}}} for your scan today! Are you at least enjoying getting to see your little one more frequently? That was the definitely silver lining for me.

Shae yeah I guess I understand they're just dumb kids...I did some mean things as well, the one thing I really regret was breaking up with a boy on his birthday. It was a stupid middle school relationship but that was just pure evil. I did it to impress friends and I felt crap about it at the time and still feel bad about it now. I wish I could go back and apologize. I wish I could apologize now. I still remember his name, maybe I can find him and tell him....but on that account I also remember he was a little weird; at the time it bugged me out but in retrospect I think he was just "neurodivergent" as we call it these days. He was always quoting movies and he followed me around a lot. In a way I felt I had to be harsh to get him to leave me alone, but I could have gone about it in a better way. Now if any girl did that to my boys I'd lose my s*.

Anyway I hope your cycle does what you'd like it to but again, let's focus on realistic expectations!! You didn't plan the wedding around your cycle so let's just hope for the best but prepare for the worst I know the TTC stuff is super exciting but also try to focus on the wedding itself hmm not sure on the FSH but yeah that doesn't seem to make sense about surging without it. Maybe the at home monitor isn't the most reliable...? Are you also doing OPK's?

 

[WinterBub]

Don't worry about your cycle and the wedding, Shae. I would be pissed if I had my AF on the wedding day, but really- you can't control it, so don't stress about what is out of your hands. And things may change between now and then anyway. Deal with it only if it actually happens!

Funny you picked the name Kelsey, my BIL's first ever girlfriend was a Kelsey, and she broke his heart. We weren't allowed to utter her name for years after the fact! The guy you broke up with probably made millions as a software developer hope he is happy now! I hate thinking back on things I did as a kid/teenager.

AFM- had a pretty shitty time at the MFM appointment. The scan they did ended up being my NT scan, and the baby has a thicker than normal neck. they couldn't give me a set measurement because of her position, but they knew that it was bigger than it should be. The young technician doing my scan left to get an older lady to come and help her, so I knew that there was an issue right away. Ended up seeing the doctor and then doing a full genetic counselling session. The IVf genetic testing we did is 95% accurate- so we may be in that unlucky 5% where the cells tested don't match the baby and she has down syndrome or a syndrome "incompatible with life". Or she could have a harder to detect chromosomal issue. Or she could have a heart defect. Or it will self correct and isn't an issue. They said 20% chance of issues. I did the NIPT today, and will do a CVS. I know that means that there is an 80% chance it's ok, but still just so upset about the whole thing. Your story about your eldest has given me hope, though, giggle I really thought IVF with genetic testing was going to mean an easy/healthy pregnancy.

 

[DobbyForever]

Winter ugh I’m so sorry about the appointment. That’s such frustrating news. Yes, 80% is great odds but I know it’s easier to focus on the 5 and 80%. I’m going to hope that it’s just from the positioning and that it self corrects. What is the action plan moving forward as far as monitoring goes? I know you mentioned genetic counseling. It is tough because I know all of A’s screenings came back normal, and yet here I am trying to navigate this world as a SpEd parent. So I’m hoping things will be alright. Did you get any more info on the bleeding?

Yes I’ve heard lots of PoF horror stories. I feel like 70% of the Catfish stories on MTV start with POF lol. I do agree that Match like 9 years ago was awesome! Lots of nice guys just weren’t compatible. Now it’s so hard to find someone to take seriously

Shae that’s crazy about the meds! I’m glad he has found a manageable alternative over time but yikes. I love that his sex drive is up though! I remember that being an issue in the past.

Gigs honestly, we said all that to them in high school and they still acted like twats. Probably just figured they’d milk it while they could I’m sorry that you had a s* middle school and high school experience though. Kids can be so cruel. Don’t beat yourself up about it. I’ve apologized to many people 10-15 years later, and most of the time they forgot about it. Or they were trying to make me feel better lol. But yeah! FB stalk! Or not. But don’t feel bad.

I also hated high school. Had an incident where I wasn’t allowed at a restaurant due to my skin color and when we fought back, everyone shamed me for it. I was hospitalized 2 or 3 times for ideation/intent. Teachers would just let me cry in the back of class because they didn’t know what to do. The choir director had told me since I was kid I would be in the elite choir. I wasn’t going to audition, and he grabbed me one day and told me I should. So I did. Then when the list came out and I didn’t make it, he said, “You know I have limited spots. I can’t give one to you. What if you actually succeed in _ yourself this time? Then I have to re-balance the whole ensemble.” Needless to say, the principal personally excused me from all of my classes that day not that he had any consequences.

Um dunno what guy that would be LOL. There’s a guy that was on my team that I’m pretty sure is either homosexual/asexual but def no matter what wasn’t into me. The janitor guy ended up going from flirting heavily with me to being engaged to a gf I didn’t know he had. The IA at my current job asked me out again but yup not touching that drama. But yeah no prospects at work, current or former.

Did DH end up posting the ad today?

AFM busy at work. Report card season. OA is in the purely s*x category. He did text me today though to let me know his flight status, but I'm not reading into that or getting carried away. I'm just a stray dog with a bone, nothing more. All the previous match convos have died. Trouble is off to Czech Republic to visit fam but I get more trouble vibes than serious dating vibes. The convo is getting stale over text. Idk if we'll survive the 3w that he's gone haha. I mean I'd love to meet a nice guy, get married, him not have his own kids and we just dedicate our lives to spoiling the c* out of A. But I'm fine without it at this point. I just want a reason to get away from my life every now and then, put on some cute clothes, and get worked over hahaha. BUT I clearly don't learn so I'll probably be single forever. I was singing along to "Toxic"/ watching "Sex/Life" and this is why God won't send me a good man or, even if he does, I won't want anything to do with him

 

[shaescott]

Gigs there’s a few things I feel bad about from middle school, and I did actually apologize to one person. I called her this name she hated a lot lol, she basically didn’t respond when I apologized (in person). Then I found out her friends call her that now and it’s in her Instagram handle

Re: the monitor, of course this morning was the one time I didn’t do an OPK lmao, I took one when I got back from work and it was negative, so now idk if it actually surged or not. I’ll find out soon enough if my progesterone rises. The monitor says it was a small rise and some people have a small one and then a big one (the real one) later, so I’ll have to keep testing and not neglect my OPKs.

Winter I’m so sorry, that’s so frustrating when you went to so much effort to prevent any genetic issues. Praying baby is just fine.

Dobs I’m sorry, what kind of segregation bullshit is that??? You’re so young, it’s so crazy that that was still happening! And my god, the choir director. That’s so incredibly cruel, I can’t believe an adult would even dream of doing such a thing. Thank god you were excused from school the rest of the day, I would’ve needed to be too.

 

[shaescott]

Dobs I wanted to show my Mr. Healthy Short Guy TM with his big man hands so here he is, not gonna bother covering the faces cuz we look cute and these photos are on social media for everyone to see lol. We were on uneven ground when he looked the same height as me, he’s a solid 4 inches shorter. The pic where I’m laughing is a much more accurate representation of his height. You can also see that his torso is longer than mine, and I am all leg lmao.


And Winter you were correct, I am 5’8”.


Totally unrelated, I discovered I gained over 10 lbs over the past year when I re-downloaded a fitness app last night because I couldn’t button my jeans. That’s got to be addressed ASAP. SO was like “well… for me when my pants wouldn’t fit, that’s how I knew I had to make a change” (he’s lost like 15 lbs since the engagement photos). It was a very nice way of saying maybe I should pay attention to my health lol, he still tells me I look hot every time I take my clothes off, so I’m not concerned about that lol. My naked body reminds me of an Ancient Greek or Roman statue of a woman, I’m really not mad about it. BUT. Jeans aren’t cheap lmao, the only new jeans I want to buy are maternity ones. I also don’t want to let myself keep gaining weight until I’m actually overweight. I’m 5 lbs from the overweight category, and I don’t want that. It’s really the iced coffee and beer, I think, that are the problems. So I have my personal fitness coach messaging again, and a calorie goal of 1600 to try to get this fat off. Once I get my goal 15 lbs off, my plan is to increase the calorie goal to allow for more protein to gain muscle (and maintain weight rather than continue to lose). Let’s see if I can actually follow it this time lmao. Hot girl honeymoon coming right up (hopefully).

 

[shaescott]

Considering the black bloody clots coming out of me, I’m going to say that I’m not ovulating at the moment.

 

[gigglebox]

@WinterBub I am so, so sorry for your scan I wish I could comfort you somehow irl!! Give you a big hug and assure you it will be OK! I did go back and find my thread on here that documented everything with DS1, starting with the scan and updates when he was a baby. I hope it helps ease your mind you are in the scariest part right now but it will get better.
oh here's another success stories thread that helped me tremendously: Let's Post our CH Success Stories for all those that need hope! | BabyCenter
The fact of the matter is it *could* be something, but it could also very well just be the lymphatic system taking its time to develop. That seems to be somewhat common and causes no harm or issues at all. With you having IVF done, I'm willing to be this is what you're experiencing. Hang in there

Dobs I could have sworn there was some guy who was trying to pursue you at work who seemed quality but "too nice". Maybe he wasn't a coworker then....but there was SOMEONE who has been lusting after you for some time but wasn't your type for whatever reason I can't remember and good grief what a horrible way to be treated!!! that teacher should have been suspended or fired. There is just no excuse for that. hmmm I'd stay away from OA as punishment but if it works for you....what more can I say? be safe I guess...? lol

Shae could *this* be af now? How very strange. I'd bet stress about the wedding and everything else is messing your cycles up. Hopefully that will be a good thing for the wedding/honeymoon! Those pictures are absolutely adorable btw!! I love that dress on you. You guys are seriously such a cute couple!! woohoo for SO and the weight loss! Has it helped his back at all? I know sometimes losing weight can help with certain health issues like general body aches/pains.

oh also Shae, two words for you on jeans: Thrift Shop.

afm....no movement on the tax stuff nor the job advertisement. I'm back to "maybe a 4th is a terrible idea" thinking. My anxiety has been up recently and with no moves being made toward the money situation getting better....I just don't know. Honestly at this point my biggest fear is regretting not doing it, or having an accidental pregnancy years from now when the things I'm worried about (like a large age gap, for example or the impact it will have on my older body) are even worse. agrrgghhh It would also help if hubby had strong opinions about it one way or the other.

Honestly things were just so much easier when I was sure I was done. I wish this didn't feel like "Now or never". I need that tantrum emoji lol

 

[gigglebox]

well, shit hit the fan at hubby's job so I don't even know about anything anymore.
The guy who they were going to offer the manager position to may not even want to work there anymore. They had someone call today verifying his employment as he had applied for another job...however we don't know if it was an old request (it's for a government position so it's possible he applied for it some time ago, but also possible it's a new request)....hubby's going to go talk to him tomorrow. Oh did I mention it's his brother? Yup.
On top of that, another shop contacted them for help on one of their cars they couldn't figure out (this happens a lot; the guys at my hubby's shop are known for expert diagnosis). This was some $150,000 car (I don't know what it was exactly, he didn't say)....anyway as hubby's coworker was working on it, it spontaneously combusted! like legit went up in flames!! I don't know the extent of the damage as hubby was so obviously frustrated and annoyed I didn't press him for more info.

I wanted to talk to him about the baby thing but it's not a good time. Feels like ov' is just around the corner too so....doesn't look promising.
3 healthy boys. Maybe I should just quit while I"m ahead.

 

[WinterBub]

Jeez, giggle. What a day.... I'm sorry that everything has gone south in such a poorly timed way. Sitting out this month and continuing to think the baby idea over is very much an option. I agree that I'd say it is nowish or never... But a month won't change anything. Being done is also a very solid option if you're sure/unsure about it.

Lovely pictures, Shae! You look lovely together When is your dress going to be finally fitted? I'd try not to go up or down too much in weight from when you bought it! And you look great in those pics. I do hear you on not wanting to hit "overweight". I'd like to get into the healthy range and stay there! Impressed I was right on your height!

Dobby- I swear there was a nice guy that was flirting with you at work! I wish I had a better description, but I know who Giggl means. I'd also not go back to OA, but whatever you feel comfortable with I support! I can kind of see the perks of one of those relationships where you don't live together- you sort of date and love/support each other, sleep together etc... But maintain separate lives. Maybe that would suit you, as you'd kind of maintain independence but also have a partner? If you don't think you want more kids, that seems pretty ideal.

Thank you all so much for the love and support. I'm just so bummed. And it is really hard to know what to think. They couldn't get a great measurement, but they said it was "clearly there". I have a profile shot, but it isn't clear where the neck fluid stops and the edge of the sac she's in begins as she was laying on it. I spoke to the Genetic Counsellor again today, and she confirmed it wasn't hugely above where it should be, but they do deem it above the cut off. (The measurement cuts of at either 2.5 or 3 as ok, so there's a massive difference between being 3 or being 6). But still, they look at these scans every day and mine stood out They will do a rescan next week, and currently thinking I'll do a CVS, but getting a solid set number at the rescan would help us to decide on that. OH has been great. I'm just reckoning with maybe having gotten greedy/tried to work around Mother Nature when she's infinitely more powerful than us. I just need to wait for more info. And remember the stat I was given is 80% likely it is all ok. Hard to keep that in mind when they list off all the potential issues.

Thank you for that thread link, giggle. I'm going to read it tonight and would love to read your journal too!

 

[DobbyForever]

I read Jeez as Jez and that reminds me of another wonder how they are doing hahah

Winter I’ll be praying for that 80%. I’m glad the measurement wasn’t too far from the cutoff. Is CVS when they poke the sac? My mom had it with all of her pregnancies. I remember telling her the docs tend to poo poo it now, and she couldn’t believe it because she’s had it done on all 4 pregnancies. Hopefully the numbers come back solid and you end up not needing it.

Gigs I second Winter. You can always sit this cycle out. I know you feel like the clock is ticking, but it’s 4 weeks. That being said… I’m all about throw caution to the wind and pull a Nike: JUST DO IT! Says the woman who has three alarms to take her bcp. But seriously, the financials will get figured out and, frankly, getting pregnant might speed that process along and be the kick in the pants everyone needs. Nothing wrong with being done, but I do wish it would be clearly done for you vs done with lingering questions.

I’m sorry to hear that the potential manager may jump ship. That’s not cool that he hasn’t said anything. Usually by ref checks you know you’re in and should say something to your current boss. And to be his brother! Sorry about the expensive car! That’s insane!

Shae I echo Winter. I was going to post the same advice but got busy. I think you mentioned having some final fittings, but at less than 100 days I think now is more maintain time vs dramatic change time. She says with no experience with wedding dresses Sorry about the clot bleeding. I agree, could it be af now? Not knowing anything about all the hormone stuff you’ve mentioned. But I start most of my periods with clotty super dark blood.

I agree the photos are so cute! You can really see how in love you two are!

I will say though, his hands look normal. I hate to say normal but you know what i mean. Short Guy hands were like wrinkly in a way and the fingers were short. This sounds bad, but his hands registered like there’s a dwarfism element and his face as well dwarfism if no FAS or DS. There is definitely a chromosomal abnormality. Also, he did mention that he and his ex wife couldn’t carry to term for over 6 pregnancies. It’s easy to assume it’s to do with the mother, but who is to say it isn’t him? His dad is also in poor health. He didn’t say why, but he essentially takes care of him. I hate to be that person, but I just can’t. I’m expending all of my energy fighting for A’s rights that I cannot do another battle on top of it.

Re nice work guy: Idk. At this current job, the instructional aide is super nice but he was never in the running because I won’t poop where I eat and he’s too immature to step in as A’s father figure. At my last job, the only guy at work I can think of that flirted with me was my very much married boss (harmless though) and the janitor. I think there was an adaptive PE coach that was cute but we never talked. I really can’t think of any other guys that were flirty.

Someone suggested that kind of relationship, and I poo-pooed it because I want to build a live with someone. But I’m starting to see the benefits of it. I was truly happy with what I had with OA even if I never fully had him. And honestly, it was kind of nice not to share A with him outside of pictures and videos and the 10s phone convo they had. It was all the fun of having a partner without the stress of having one. I also think this might just be a back burner thing and I’ll find a partner when A is older and more self-sufficient. I’ll be 43 when he starts driving. I want one more kid. I want my girl. So badly. I don’t even need for her to be biologically mine if I met a guy who came with a daughter younger than A (another point for OA). But it’s been nearly 6 years. I don’t get sad passing the girls section anymore. I did have a brief what would it be like if Setsuna was here rn moment that was short lived because A, on cue, threw a tantrum.

AFM nothing new. Work. Mothering. Sleep. Repeat. A’s IEP is on Monday. Here’s hoping they aren’t d*s. I really don’t have the money or time to sue them. My stress is insane. I constantly feel like something is going to pop in my brain.

 

[Flueky88]

Just a quick pop in


Gigs holy sh!t!! I'm so sorry that happened, everything with DHs work. I hope that things work out and quickly. So, paranoid me.... do you think it's possible some sort of set up??

Winter I'm sorry there was some concern with your scan. I think focusing on that 80% is a good idea. Will be praying it is normal at your scan and you won't even have to consider doing a CVS.

Dobby, I don't think you should have any guilt for not wanting to add responsibility of someone else's family members health issues. You have a lot on your plate right now and you know if you have time or energy for those things. Also agree, don't like workplace romances. Particularly if you are in your career and where you want to be.

Will try to reply more this weekend.

 

[shaescott]

Gigs oh geez, that’s wild regarding your hubby’s work. I hope it was an old thing and nothing to worry about.
I do think this is actual AF. I’m counting it as such. This was such a weird cycle.

Winter I’m sure baby will be fine. The odds are in your favor. I know it’s hard to be optimistic right now though. I’d be having a super hard time too in your position.
The final fitting will probably be in May. I’ve gained 10-15 lbs since when I bought my dress, so losing a bit may actually be a better idea.

Dobs with CVS they don’t poke the sac, they take a sample of the placenta.
Not offended at normal, normal is usually good lol. His hands seem big to me, but not like abnormally big. Just man hands big. The point of the comparison was “this is a normal genetically healthy short guy, which is why I have no qualms about marrying this short guy”.

AFM met with the new pastor today. He’s definitely a lot more old fashioned, but very nice. He does seem to have a bunch of things he wants to do his way, though he’s still open to critique at least. When we said we were living together (like, before marriage) he definitely disapproved of that but he was polite and just asked why we were living together (we said for financial reasons) and he didn’t push further or make any comments. He also for sure is concerned about SO being less religious than I am because the Bible talks about being equally yolked spiritually. I suggested maybe he sit down with him one and one and help him through some of his spiritual roadblocks, because I do think him sitting down with a pastor could be very beneficial. He really wants us to do the vows where we repeat them so we’re actually saying them rather than him read it and us just say “I do”, and I really wanted to say “I do” specifically. Though he said there is a declaration of intent where you say “I do” earlier in the ceremony, so I suppose that makes it better. Idk. We’ll fine tune more in future meetings, he said.

 

[WinterBub]

The website was being weird, so hope this posts...

Thank you all for the positivity! That CH thread was really helpful too, Giggle. All of those posters were in a worse spot than I think I am, and so many happy outcomes.

Like Shae said- CVS is testing cells from the placenta. But very same basic concept as the amniocentesis which is carried out very similarly, but takes amniotic fluid. The amnio is actually a better test, but you have to wait longer to do it. Lots to think about over the next few weeks.



Well, in that case, trying to drop a few pounds is probably just fine, Shae! You just looked so lovely in your dress, and you don't want to have to alter it massively either way close to the wedding! We never did marriage counselling, but I kind of wish we had! Some of it I think is very useful... Other parts, not so much. I have a friend converting right now and her church made her do a family planning class. She was not happy... And also already has completed her family and knows about all of that. I'd imagine you can school the average church sex and reproduction educator pretty comprehensively, Shae I don't think you have to be in agreement on all religious grounds. The one thing I think is really important though, is to have some idea of what your expectations are in that area re: kids (Baptize them? Church school? How often would you go to church with them?). Beyond that, I think religion is a personal journey and no need to agree. I would have entered an interfaith marriage so long as we agreed on the kid stuff.

Dobby- I'm pretty sure the cute guy from work was at your new/current job. Anyway... Seems that is a no go. My grandmother died very young, and my grandpa outlived her by 30+ years. He had a girlfriend, and they had totally separate lives. She travelled a lot, and he never did. They had their own houses, bought their own groceries and just generally lived solo. But they enjoyed going out to do things together, going dancing sometimes, talking on the phone. It was really cute. And they both seemed very happy with the independence, but they had each other if they both felt like getting together. I took note of that as a nice option. My OH says he wishes we had two townhouses instead of sharing a house.

And if you didn't like the guy on the date, no need to explain why. No chemistry at all kind of.matters!

 

[gigglebox]

woah woah woah Dobby, he was married and had 6 miscarriages??? That is many levels of sad. What happened with the marriage? Did you get that deep? I guess it's irrelevant really. But I don't blame you for your concerns...but honestly none of it matters, you're clearly not feeling this guy and it's not as if you could make yourself "into" him, so, meh. Hopefully he finds someone nice....but hopefully you do too. Someone who treats you well, is good father potential, but can also, as you say, "work you over" in the bedroom too funny; but there are definitely couples like that! Ones you think are the sweet and gentle all american family, but the bedroom is a kink fest lol.

Winter I'm glad that thread helped. I know it's not easy, even when the most likely situation is everything will be fine! Even when everything IS fine, that voice of "what if...?" is hard to silence. I had the CVS test done; I won't lie, it wasn't pleasant but it was made wayyyyy worse by my mom being in the room. Love her to pieces but that was not a good time for her to be there. They can get a sample through the cervix or through the stomach; for me they went through the stomach. The needle is long, so if that makes you squeemish, don't look at it! When it hit my uterus, my uterus contracted and I held my breath, them my mom, who was holding my hand, starts panic yelling, "BREATHE (my name)! JUST BREATHE!!!" like I was dying or something! I was in such a heightened emotional state anyway, that moment was just so terrible...after they got the sample I just started sobbing (please note at this point I was told I had a 15% chance the baby would make it without issue). But really it was my Mom....she just made it all so much more dramatic and I hated that moment so much more. It would have not been nearly as bad...

BUT ANYWAY. The testing came back normal and now that almost 11 year old is working on language arts right now lol

Also why would your SO want two separate living spaces? Just curious. I feel much better having my "own" space in the house now (Hubby does too; he has a workout room/game room in the basement, I have an "office" that is also the guest bedroom) but if we do the kid thing that's gone :/ but I think we'd have enough space in our bedroom to set me up something. I just need better storage/organization, honestly. And to get rid of a lot of junk I don't need. Point being having a place to call your own is definitely nice. What is your set up and how will it change/stay the same when baby arrives? Also i can't remember if I asked or not but do you have a name picked out? Also totally fine if you don't want to share

Shae it wouldn't hurt to SO to sit down with the pastor if he's comfortable with it, however I also kind of feel like he should do that with your regular pastor...but I get this other one is doing the wedding so........Also yes I know what he's talking about, in a nut shell he asks if you want to commit yourselves to each other, you say "i do", but no kissing or anything yet....more words are said, then you repeat the vows, and then more words and then the kiss. Something like that.
Also I lost about 20lbs when I got married and alterations were expensive. I don't suggest them if you can avoid that and want to save money lol. Honestly, in retrospect, I'm annoyed because when I got the dress I told the woman that I was going to lose weight before my wedding and asked if I should order a size down. She literally rolled her eyes and said, "All brides say that"....then ordered my current size. I ended up having to get it altered down at least a size. This was when I was in my early twenties and didn't stand up for myself ever.

so news over here...
Hubby and I talked last night and confirmed what I already knew, that we're both firmly planted on the top of the fence about the kid thing. We kind of left it at let's see where things are in a month or two, but I just don't know...I feel like time is running out, and I don't even want to try next month anyway because of the proximity of Christmas to a potential due date...but tbh the idea of having another baby makes me anxious; but also the idea of never having another makes me depressed so I just don't even know. Maybe waiting a couple months and reassessing is the best option.

They're going to figure out the work stuff; looks like right now they want to close the second shop and just focus on the original one. They are thinking about the owners basically job sharing but they'll all still get paid a full-time worker's income and only have to work 3 days a week. The plan is to work toward getting an A level mechanic in there to replace them so they don't have to work at all but are still collecting a check, but we'll see. So the two extra days off, likely I will work to make us a little more money which means I can dive back into my youtube channel and become better or actually making content on there. Hopefully that will generate money from sales. I'm also working on becoming an affiliate for some products through one of my IG accounts so it would be nice to have some passive income coming from product sales, but we'll see.........

Also I asked about the fire car and how much damage the fire caused; hubs said, "enough." So basically I still don't know lol; hoping their insurance covers it. Fortunately it didn't happen to hubby but to the other owner, so hubby doesn't have to deal with. Still stressful though as any ramifications, like the expense to fix it, will fall on the shop as a whole, and he said something about removing the engine...hopefully that doesn't mean a total engine replacement. I don't even want to think about the expense of that, let alone the availability of getting an engine for a 150k car.

Fluek I don't think it was sabotage. I guess these types of things can happen...he said there was fuel all in the engine so likely a leak somewhere that compounded with other stuff and just combusted. I don't know cars well enough to guess beyond that though lol

 

[WinterBub]

I can so imagine my Mom doing something like that it was actually quite helpful that I was at the scan alone this week. Being on my own I have to sort of sack up, try and think logically and ask all the relevant questions then and there, and generally not fall apart. Then I got in the car, called OH and cried my eyes out. That's just so amazing that you had all those odds stacked against you and your son, and he turned out just wonderfully I'm sure you've said it before- but what did they see in him that worried them?

I'm now booked for a rescan next week, which I hope will be really helpful. The specific number is really relevant to what your risks/stats are, so hope to know that number before doing the CVS. Also considering not doing the CVS. Or waiting for the amnio. Or doing nothing at all invasive. We're waiting on NIPT and Vistara results (Vistara is like the NIPT but looks for rarer things). Anyway, that scan number would really help us decide if we do want to go down the invasive route... I've been down internet genetics rabbit holes, and it is all so complex.

It does sound like a month or two waiting is maybe the way to go re: baby. Unless you're happy to just NTNP and see what happens.... I mean that's the more fun option The job sharing/less hours idea sounds amazing, and also seems like it would just lift a lot of stress off your OH. Fingers crossed everyone goes for that option!!! Also hope that the expensive car wasn't damaged, and it was just a scary moment that won't have financial ramifications.

 

[gigglebox]

Winter you sound just like me, or I sound just like you! I can hold my s* together fairly well, but as soon as family shows an iota of concern, I fall apart lol
So the scan around 11 weeks showed a high nuchal fold, the fluid pocket behind the neck...except it was from the top of his head to his tailbone, if I remember correctly. It supposed to just be behind the neck and a certain mm. That was his biggest issue, otherwise no markers for anything but that was enough to freak them out, and actually the first doctor, the one who did my scan (they did the ultrasounds out of office at that point) told me to call my OB to schedule a termination when I asked what the next step was. He was a horrid doctor and I later wrote a complaint to his office about him. I'm sure it did nothing but at least it made me feel better. He wrote back an apology but it read very disingenuous, like a "I'm sorry you felt that way" kind of thing rather than "i'm sorry I made you feel that way".
Actually he was so sure something way majorly wrong, he instructed the nurses to trash my blood test and not bother sending the NIPT out for analysis. I had to wait for the CVS test before I got more information about what was going on.

Anyway I hope the scan next week is promising! It's entirely possible everything will be resolved by then and nothing further will be needed, so I'll be praying for that!

afm...No update on the fire car but hubby's bro did apply for a job, but it was about 6 months ago. They've offered him the new position with some perks, so we'll see what happens. Regardless, it looks like they'll still be trying to do the thing where he'll be home more so here's to hoping! Everything is just happening now, so yeah maybe in a month or so we'll see where things are at.

 

[WinterBub]

I knew something was up because they came to get a second set of images. That's never a good thing. So I was on edge but in very logical/info gathering mode. Then I left and it all hit me. I also hate it when people hug me if something bad happened- then I'll definitely fall apart!

Wow- I didn't realize how similar your son's story was! And he seemingly had a much bigger measurement. So happy for you that all turned out well Even if the doctor's apology letter was kind of forced, that does suggest that he either self reflected or someone ripped into him. That's awful. And so mean- they specifically did the NIPT and Vistara (which probably didn't exist yet for you!) so that I'll get info asap. Basically if something comes up there, that's the answer. If not, you can rule out things one by one. So mean not to just send the bloodwork off and see if you got an answer sooner! Anyway... All irrelevant now to you and your son

Thank you for your prayers

Fingers crossed BIL takes the job they offered! And FX things look good to just go for it with the baby idea soon!