General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[Jezika]

Dobs I feel like I totally knew that about you that you’re a Seaworld gal. Do you do that every year? And wtf… orcas feasting on the calf of a different whale species? Nature… simultaneously so beautiful and savage.

Shae damn it I can’t wait till you’re TTCing proper (if this cycle doesn’t work out of course). Yes yes money responsibility bla bla bla but maybe we can just let loose and leave it to the powers that be and have faith that all will work out as it should?

And no I don’t imagine there’s even a slither of a chance there’ll be a third baby. We’d have both preferred two girls, about which I feel a little guilty, but I’ve come around to the idea of one of each. Two already feels scary and one of them isn’t even here yet. This kid is constantly kicking around inside me though. I hope that’s not a sign of things to come.

 

[shaescott]

Dobs nah it was clean, he’s unfortunately perfect about it, he always leans on the safe side with timing. Progesterone dipped to 32 today, still super high but the dip from 40 doesn’t give me much hope. Estrogen also dipped ever so slightly but only from 600 to 576. I also got essentially mildly electrocuted by a freezer door last night, I was barefoot and the metal handle used my flesh as a ground I mean I only felt it in my hand, it just hurt and was like 3 rapid pulses. But if I was pregnant, I’d understand if I wasn’t anymore after that.

That’s exciting about legoland and sea world! I get the ethical issue but I did have a wonderful time as a kid when I went to sea world.

 

[shaescott]

Jez hahaha can you convince my DH to just “let loose”? That’d be great

And I think Dobs was saying she’s kinda against it due to abuse of the whales/other animals but A really wanted to go so she’s going anyway.

 

[DobbyForever]

Well that’s how they got their nickname killer whales. They literally kill whale calves. But I knew they stick around after a kill and chose not to go out yesterday or today. I just don’t like them in tanks and I hate that A’s first orca will be a captive one, and even dolphins. Yikes. But he wants it. Even paid more for lunch with Santa at their orca side patio oh the hypocrisy is real lol. But my love for the ocean came from marine land and seaworld so I do get it.

Being a boy mom is great. It’ll grow on you. Promise

Like at least my local discovery kingdom the dolphins are rescued animals who can’t survive in the wild. But yeah oh well makes my kid happy

 

[Jezika]

Oh yeah I hear you… I also find it very upsetting when whales and dolphins are kept captive. I don’t think I’ll ever watch Black Fish because I’m pretty sure I’ll be traumatized. I feel similar about aquariums in general, though obviously that’s also very different, but at the same time there’s something so potent about the glee and wonder these things can bring our little ones, and also the educational component. And I think also at least things are moving in the right direction in general re: those animals in captivity…?

Shae don’t challenge me to design a persuasive campaign re: your DH coz I can see myself taking that on. Though I can also see myself throwing moral caution to the wind and leaning into my inherent laziness by asking ChatGPT for help. But seriously, you’ve waited patiently for so damn long, I do not want to miss this next part of your journey regardless of when it unfolds. As a “pro” tip (lol coz it’s not pro at all) the way I got preg this time is by telling hubby that it’s very unlikely I’ll actually get preg coz I wasn’t in my supposed fertile window and that it can take many many months at my age to get preg anyway, so maybe we could roll the dice for shits and giggles but also not be completely devastated in the unlikely event that it does happen coz that WAS the eventual plan anyway. Obviously I believed those things at the time, but still…

Oh also Dobs thanks for the encouragement re: being a boy mum. I know it’s downright irrational and arguably also just plain mean, so I do feel guilty. I can’t even articulate why we’d want another girl, really. But I do know I will be absolutely smitten in the end with a boy and have no regrets.

Also not sure if I mentioned (maybe I did? Too lazy to scroll) but we decided on the name Miles.

Also why do I write so damn much?!

 

[shaescott]

Jez we already do it outside fertile window and it ain’t working for me, I never ovulate early enough for an oopsie lol. But hey, write a campaign, I dare you
I love the name Miles! And they’ll both have M names, very cute!

 

[shaescott]

Oh also my progesterone went back up to 40 (maxing out the monitor) and estrogen to 595 (max is 600). I’m 10dpo today. Nothing I could confidently call a faint line on my test this morning lol. Will try again tomorrow. Been spotting very minimally since 8dpo but it’s not from a progesterone drop clearly so idky.

 

[Jezika]

Is the spotting typical for you?

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Jez - Glad to hear things are better between you and DH. Aww, it's not selfish to want a bump buddy. It's always nice to have someone to compare notes with. lol. On Dec 6th, I was 14w6d, I think. I have a MW appt tomorrow, so hopefully they'll tell me if the baby had caught up to it's dates and give me a EDD that can be set in stone. Also, congrats on your little boy. We know a couple with a Miles, but they spell it with a Y.

shae - Wow, that's a crazy dream. Don't think I've ever had anything like that. Weirdest I've had was that I gave birth to twins on a shopping cart in the middle of a pharmacy. lol

Dobby - Hope A has lots of fun at the parks. I went to Marine Land once as a tween. I watched Black Fish a while ago and now I have zero interest in giving establishments like that my money for what they're doing to animals. That being said, my kids have never mentioned wanting to go. Also, the theme annoys SO, so he has no interest in going either. lol. That being said, I remember years ago, P!NK took her kids to a zoo and people gave her crap about cuz zoos are basically prisons for animals that did nothing wrong. She agreed, but also said "I believe in capturing a child’s interest and love for an animal before teaching them about things like captivity." So, I guess that's one way to look at it. Get them to love the animals and then protest for them. But anyway, legitimately no shade, I hope he has fun.

Hope everyone else is doing well.

AFM, at my car dealership, getting some power steering parts replaced. Still jobless and probably won't start applying til after XMas. It's just hectic right now. MW appt tomorrow (for those who didn't read above). They never contacted me after my most recent scan, so I'm assuming no news is good news. No one IRL knows yet still. At this point, probably gonna wait til after my anatomy scan early next month. My XMas shopping is done except for a few cousin's kids and some boxes of chocolates for teachers. We decided to get the boys a Nintendo Switch. They're gonna lose their friggen minds. lol

Took XMas card pics over the weekend. We ended up going with the last pic.

 

[DobbyForever]

Have essays to grade respond in a couple days buuut

I just feel bad cuz going is one hypocritical thing. But then…. I went and bought “dine with Santa and orcas” reservations needless to say I’ll have to block some of my friends from that album to avoid drama

 

[DobbyForever]

okay we are back in business. I am officially on winter break.

Jez Miles!!! Omg I just finish watching The Holiday hahaha. I was like why does the name Miles sound familiar, I don’t know any Miles. I agree I love that they both have M names

Pretty love the holiday photos!!!! How did the appointment go?

re SeaWorld exactly I was taken to Marine Land or SeaWorld a lot as a kid. It definitely built my love for marine animals, especially whales and dolphins. But then in like 4th grade, I saw dolphins in the wild in HI and then cut to college when I saw The Cove and Blackfin… I promised myself A would only know cetaceans in the ocean. I do like that they’ve ended their breeding program and capture programs, but I wish they would do move them into like ocean open pens or something. Is what it is. I’ll be a hypocrite every day for my kid HAHAHAH I guess for me I hate to give them money, but if they’re basically just housing the orcas they have and not obtaining more then I guess it’s not the end of the world… ….

re boy mom not irrational at all. I always wanted a girl. I’ve never pictured myself as a boy mom despite having only brothers. I had a lot of FOMO especially in the infant years whenever I saw the cute girl outfits or moms/daughters. But I’ve really come to love and appreciate being a boy mom and, frankly, I don’t think I’d cut it as a girl mom hahaha.

Re me same old same old. Work. Mom. Sleep. My friend has a holiday party tonight but I don’t want to go…. like I’ve spent $100 on booze and food and white elephant and nobody else is stepping up to bring stuff. I also just don’t feel like getting wasted and paying like another $100 on a lyft there. My mom and I got into it last night as well so I don’t really want her babysitting A. Plus I’m planning to take A to a theme park today to see my brother perform, and I’d have to leave earlier than I would otherwise. My tix are free but I do have to pay the $30 for parking. No movement on my car. It doesn’t technically qualify as a lemon, and I’m getting to a point where I might just cave and trade it in to the dealership I bought it from. It just sucks. I JUST paid it off and now I’ll have to take on a car payment with the interest rates being outrageous. Though we just caught a huge break with the school that I’m hoping will result in me getting my $30k + more back at some point. Oh and since getting his bus back (even though they're trying to take it away again), A has been able to fall asleep without me staying in bed with him. It's been nice to be able to catch up on housework and grading and tv watching instead of having to lay with him until 9/9:30 when I'm basically too tired to get anything done anyway

 

[shaescott]

Jez the spotting is often typical for me. It’s not technically normal because of the progesterone level though.

Pretty those pics are sooo cute! Zoey is so adorable.
Re: the pregnancy, feel free to ignore my advice, but I really think you should tell SO. If you wait until the anatomy scan, you’ll be what, 20 weeks? That’s half the pregnancy he’d be missing. I know my DH would be so incredibly hurt if I didn’t tell him right away. I know you’re scared of your SO‘s reaction, but it’s his baby too. That said, you know him best, so if you don’t think he’d be upset, that’s different.

Dobs sorry about the car issue. Yeah it’s tough with those ethical issues. I’m friends with a ton of people I disagree with on really fundamental values and I just either ignore or mute their posts if they’re bothering me. If they can’t do that, they have issues.

AFM not pregnant lol but my boob leaked a whole drop of milk onto my arm around when my period was starting, so that was super weird.

 

[DobbyForever]

Wait Pretty does SO still not know? I know people can hide it from coworkers, but I imagine if you’re sharing a bed/DTD it’d be kinda hard to not notice by this point lol

Shae that’s so interesting to me that you produce (even if it’s just a drop) if milk without being pregnant full term or having nursed before. Sorry about not Oing I’d say odds are in you favor but you two have managed this far getting by in timing. Though I feel like we have a lot more near misses since the engagement and wedding. Still of course just hoping he gets on board soon.

Afm taking today to spend money I don’t have at the big mall in SJ. Just stopping for lunch at CPK (didn’t feel like looking up somewhere interesting ). Plus it’s in the mall right by macys (my last stop and my car), good lunch combo, and good cocktails. Plus my fam never comes to cpk. Having brunch tomorrow and day after with coworkers. Thursday A’s sdc class has a performance and Friday I’m volunteering at his school. Need to figure out when I can take my mom’s car in for routine maintenance.

Also thoughts

I done out alone often. Restaurants always offer/push the bar. I hate bar stools. And I hate the way they’re situated as I feel constantly on guard/vigilant. I always prefer a table. Usually places are nice about it even if they’re super busy. But yeah I feel like a a*hole lol. Tell me I’m not an a*hole

 

[PrettyInInk42]

shae - Well, I mean, I will have to tell him eventually, but he's really not gonna be happy about it. I didn't wanna say anything too soon and "ruin" our vacation. The same way I don't wanna ruin XMas by having that weigh on his mind. Unless he somehow finds out, I'll definitely tell him very soon after the anatomy scan. But I don't think he'll be too hurt with not knowing. Your DH wants to be a dad, but he just has the usual male mindset; finances. Pre-kids, mine would joke about me accidentally falling down a flight of stairs if I was pg. And he's pretty recently said to someone 3 kids is 3 too many. He doesn't regret their existence (as far as I can tell), but he would also still have been fine with no kids.

Dobby - Ya, he still doesn't know. Same with my mom and all of my friends. For the last little while, I've been passing out on the couch and sometimes spending the whole night there. So, not a lot of bed sharing or DTD. Still have zero interest in that. Plus, between my diastasis recti (sp?) and obesity, you can't tell. I hid Alex for 24 weeks and I was like 60lbs lighter than.
Sorry about your car issues. Just spent $2700 getting some power steering parts replaced on my car. It sucks. Did you end up skipping your friend's holiday party? FX you get that $30K back ASAP.

Winter - Hope baby Florence is doing well.

Re: Appt. So, I saw my MW and she said she didn't have my results from my 12 week scan and blood work. Turns out, since the req came from my Dr, the results were sent to her and no one forwarded them to the MW. So, she sent a request for the info and said she'd call me with the results. I asked about my EDD and mentioned I thought I saw the tech write 12+0 as opposed to 11+2 and she said the first scan is fairly accurate, so they'll stick with the EDD of June 4, 24. I had to take Zoey to get her 18m yesterday, so I asked my Dr about the results since I haven't heard from my MW yet. She said she sent them over the weekend, so I'm waiting til Thursday and then I'll call the MW clinic. My Dr showed me the results though and said everything looked good and one of the lines said "EDC May 30, 2024". So, WTF? So annoying and confusing. Only I have this kind of luck. Also, it turns out one of the MWs on my team (who's known me since I was pg with Matthew and actually delivered him) will be leaving the practice next month. So, there'll be some new chick. And, with my luck, she'll be the one to deliver this baby. Ugh.

How is it only 6 more days til XMas?!

Not much else to report over here. Haven't wrapped anything yet, but I've already sent out some XMas cards.

 

[DobbyForever]

Aw yeah I mean if he doesn’t have resentment from not knowing about Alex for half the pregnancy then I doubt he would this time. That being said, I’m sorry you’re having such a rough time emotionally with this one and I wish you had someone irl who could support you and help this feel special for you.

Sorry about the dates! But do you feel like it’s that big of a deal to be a few days off? I vote just go with the one that sounds better to you lol

I rallied and went. It was a good but also annoying. Like I ended up footing the bill for food because nobody brought food and I was hungry but it seemed a d* move to just doordash food for myself. Her neighbor, who brought nothing except his doesn’t understand no means no trash of a friend, even had the nerve to try and take some of the alcohol (that other people brought) home after I sent his disrespectful friend packing. But it was nice to see friends I only see once a year.

Waiting on my mom’s car to be done. Having breakfast and definitely buzzed off my one mimosa lmfao. Sent a dozen crumbl cookies to A’s school. Have lunch plans with my coworker at noon so hoping the car is done

 

[DobbyForever]

Also you know how I feel about the stairs joke

But I get the three kids too many cuz A is the absolute love of my life. But I’m good with one and omg I’m here 40m into breakfast just drinking my mimosa bowl and starting on my Mexican latte…. Living my best life while I sent his sick self to school. No fever? No stay home.

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Dobby - In terms of dates, I just like to have the most accurate info. On top of that, my MW said they recommend going for the anatomy scan no earlier than 19 weeks. So, the earlier my EDD, the earlier I can go for the scan. That being said, I'm well aware that babies come when they want. With my track record, it'll end up coming in June regardless. lol
That sucks about kinda having to be party mom/police. Hope that didn't ruin the event too much.

In other news, this is how my holiday season is going...

 

[DobbyForever]

Oh no! How are you feeling? Do the kids have it too?

Gotcha gotcha and I feel you on waiting to go for that scan asap.

Yeah it was fun regardless. I honestly do not care that it got awkward for a minute because this guy kept trying to hit on all of us. Which fine we’re all single and cute and you’re too drunk to be logical. But when I shot him down the fifth time this guy literally got on his knees and grabbed my hood and said please just let me smell it at least………. So yeah he needed to go.

AFM such a painful drive to SD. So many accidents. Holiday traffic. Added like three hours to our drive. A had a tantrum at his usual witching hour. One hour left. My mom didn’t drive with us so it was at least pleasant that way but she did call multiple times to panic over nothing and then b* me out when I tried to fix her problems. And then she took back the whole oh you can leave A with me for a day so you can rest. I really need to finish my book on dealing with toxic parents.

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Dobby - I'm feeling alright now. Presently just a little stuffed up with a bit of a cough. I can't remember the timeline but over a week ago I had a bit of a dry throat and a little ear pain. That lasted for a couple days, and then the pain went away, but I sounded like hell and was coughing up phlegm. It was like that for most of the week and then I started feeling achy, so I took that test on Friday night. I started taking Tylenol for cold and flu and wearing a mask around the house. On Sunday night, I started sweating outta nowhere, so I didn't do anything to cool myself down. I remember having the same thing happen last time and I felt much better after. I took another test that night and it came back negative. Didn't take any meds yesterday and tested again today. Still negative. Dunno if it clears up that quickly, but I do feel better. SO hasn't been feeling great either. He's on the mend now too, but it was bad enough that he didn't go to XMas at his aunt and uncle's (dad's side) yesterday. He mentioned wanting to test, but never got around to it. The boys are fine and Zoey just has a runny nose. Most likely daycare-itis though.
Yeesh, that's creepy and a little sad about the hood sniffing. Do you know what that guy is normally like when he's sober?
Sorry that you didn't get some quiet time to yourself. Did you have a decent XMas though?

Merry belated Christmas to everyone!

 

[gigglebox]

Pretty, bummer!! Sounds like a mild case though so that's good. And yay antibodies! Did it impact your holiday at all?

Jez HUUUUGE congrats on the boy!!! I also figured girl until I saw the scans. First one I was like...that looks like all my boys' skulls. Then they nub was super obvious, lol!! Boys are so, so fun; after spending some time with my niece this holiday I will confirm very, very different but loads of fun. Also I have to laugh -- did you know that we also have a Myles? Did you know that, I think, maybe quite possibly, YOU were the one to suggest the name? lolllll
Obviously I love it!

Shae any update? I didn't read back far enough to see what happened but I will.

Dobs I'm jealous!!! I want to take the kids to Disney anything so badly. I want to also go to Legoland in the mall of america.

As for all of us, we're just hanging out. Holidays were interesting. My bro & SIL & niece spend xmas eve and morning with us, but that was it. It was so short, to be honest it felt pretty awkward most of the time. You know how when you haven't seen someone in while you have kind of a warm up period before things get comfortable? It felt like we never got past that point and then they left. We also found out that they were in the area for a couple of days before Christmas and didn't choose to come stay with us. They were also invited to our Christmas celebration with hubby's side of the family but they opted not to go. Hard not to feel a little offended by all of it but oh well...I think we're just too country for them, and they're too city (well at least my SIL is).

Anyway Christmas with my inlaws was fun and the food was delicious. Good presents too! My favorites were a pair of fur boots that I'm obsessed with and a necklace that has the "birth flowers" of me, hubby, and the kids engraved in it. My SIL actually picked that out for me; she's overall pretty darn good at getting me jewelry. I love it.

I gifted a lot of stuffed animals that I crocheted. I got into it a couple weeks ago and have been crocheting every day. It's kind of addicting. If I don't forget I'll post some photos later.