General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[DobbyForever]

Hoping bd is on the table today!

My brother is in the hospital and he’s being annoying. He doesn’t want to stay for monitoring after treatment because he doesn’t have good insurance and it’s 2k/day. Yay America

 

[shaescott]

Okay so the 50/50 argument did not work but I’m working on softening him up before bedtime lol. I’m almost certainly getting BD, the question is regarding the deposit lol.

 

[gigglebox]

Yikes Dobs! My hospital stay would have been pushing $13,000 if I didn't get approved for FA. Maybe he can apply?

LOL Shae that is a sound argument! I feel a little icky and awkward rooting for your full deposit but I totally am. Also lmao "send it!" hahahhahaha

You can also tell him that my husband's favorite part of me being knocked up is never have to pull out because I can't get double pregnant....just saying. incentive!

 

[shaescott]

Dobs what’s going on with your brother?

Gigs don’t feel icky haha you need a bump buddy

 

[shaescott]

Yeahhhh no deposit. Not shocked. No temp rise either this morning but I’m using the oura ring so it takes my temp throughout the night, not when I wake up. Hoping that means I may still have ovulated at some point in the night but the ring is looking for the low temps of the night.

 

[DobbyForever]

They had the FA lady come and he sent her away. He feels like his life is worthless so if he dies at home then he dies at home

Shae sorry about the no deposit

 

[shaescott]

Dogs ah geez. What’s wrong medically? Is he the one in like law school or med school? Can’t remember which but I thought I remembered one of your brothers doing something like that.

And it’s fine, I’m holding out hope for that O-5, DH is only 26 so hopefully his swimmers will be long lived and strong I mean I did get that one faint line after an O-6, so really praying that I conceive today or already have. Prayers and good thoughts appreciated in that department! DH is stressed about money/job stuff but also really hopes I get pregnant. He’s too responsible to do it on purpose, but I can tell he’s been hoping for an oopsie for a few months now.

 

[gigglebox]

aww Shae it'll happen when it's meant to. I wish he could just full on commit! But I really have a feeling you'll be pregnant within the next year. It'll come quick....really quick if it's this month lol. Will you be testing?

Dobs I hope he is ok and maybe just being dramatic...? Sounds like he has some depression, is that related to his medical issues? I don't want to pry but if you want to talk about it, we're here!

I forgot to tell you all I met up with my Mom this weekend. Did y'all she was going to move closer to us? Like within a half hour or less? She's currently about 2 hours away. Well turns out she offered the (dirtball) brother a place to stay when he's released in a few years. She evidently promised him he could stay with her for a year. I knew it was a possibility, but I didn't know it was a promise she made him and definitely happening. That changes everything. I do not feel safe with him that close to me, but more importantly I fear for my family's safety. I told all of this to her this weekend, and it was really upsetting that there's no wiggle room for her to live here and get him a place somewhere else or something like that. So the plan has come to a halt. I'd love for her to live close but definitely not him.

I don't hate anyone, not even my brother, but it comes close. I hate what he did and the ramifications it's had on my family, and especially my poor Mom. She admitted she is so upset with him for splintering the family. She envisioned all these family gatherings when we're all older, and it'll never happen now because I don't want to be within an hour of him, and evidently my SIL feels the same way. At least my other brother and I still have a good relationship. They're actually coming to visit next month so we'll all get together and I get to meet my newest niece That will be nice. I also told them the news the other day. I'm not sure if I mentioned that either...They were both happy for us, but SIL was especially excited, which was so nice because I feel almost sheepish telling people.

 

[shaescott]

Gigs uh oh, I remember when a lot of stuff was going down with your brother. How many years did he get? I’m honestly surprised he’s only got a few years left, considering. I’m sure it’s really hard for your mom because he’s still her baby and it’s really hard to let go of your child, even when they’ve done horrible things. At the same time, if god forbid I was in her situation, I would not allow him to live with me or be anywhere near my grandchildren.

Oh I 100% will be testing. O-5 is still a legit chance (10% on O-5 vs 33% on ovulation day), so I’ve already boarded the obsession bus. Not gonna lie, I’m going way overboard and am gonna be a total wreck if I’m not pregnant yesterday I was looking at Thanksgiving pregnancy announcements because I’d be 12 weeks a few days before Thanksgiving. Turns out, there’s a ton of super cute options on Etsy.

I might be clinically… not insane, that’s not a diagnosis… but clinically something my husband says that pregnancy/baby is my autism special interest. Tbh he’s probably not wrong. It’s been my number one interest since I was 14. I always wanted to be a mom, but basically as soon as I started dating DH, a switch flipped in my brain and suddenly sex and babies were all I could think about (the sex part has died down to mostly only when fertile, now that I’m not a teenager). I think God might have given me the biological drives of all the millions of women in the world who don’t want kids, all stuck in my brain. When people say they don’t like kids and don’t want them, I simply cannot comprehend it. Like you do you of course, don’t have kids if you don’t want them, but I don’t understand how every fiber of their being, at least during the fertile period, isn’t screaming at them to have a child. It feels like, biologically abnormal? That’s not at all a judgement on those people, I just don’t understand how some people have no biological urge to procreate.

ANYWAY.
I wrote all that last night and then knocked out.

This morning my temp is up 0.3 degrees from yesterday, which is not a terribly satisfying shift to me. In the past my temp shift has been at least 0.5 degrees and I usually hit at least 97.5 on 1dpo. I’m only 96.99. Another reason to have my thyroid checked, I suppose. My baseline could be lower now, I didn’t start temping until yesterday. I’ll have to keep temping for a few days to make sure I actually ovulated. Definitely gonna be pissed if after all my excitement my ovulation failed, and especially with last month’s poor progesterone production I’d be worried about ovarian issues/failure.

 

[shaescott]

A quick Google shows that only like 10% of people experience a rise of 0.4+ degrees the day after ovulation, a slower rise is totally okay, so I’m hoping that over the next few days my temp will continue to rise. If not, I will simply cry lmao. Historically I do normally have a noticeable rise, which worries me :/ I sent off my home thyroid test yesterday, I should get results within 5 days or so.

 

[gigglebox]

I bet everything's ok with your thyroid test but it is always nice to have that official reassurance. Well dang, I hope it did happen! What about opk's?
You know I swear I am either on the spectrum or ADD. I just have too many...habits. And hyper-fixation is definitely one of them, but it switches up. But yeah definitely being pregnant is literally all I can think about right now. But it flip flops between hobbies, too. Or suddenly I'll decide that the garden needs to be addressed TODAY. Last year I got hyper-fixated on the landscape in front of the house. I spend days clearing out blackberry bramble and tree of heaven sprouts, and cleaned up our out of control elderberry. I put down paper bags as weed barriers and mulched the whole thing. Then I went out and got new bushes for the front of the house and planted 4 of those. It looked fantastic!! But before I could keep going with the rest of the house, my enthusiasm died. This year much of what I cleared out last year grew back and is kind of invading on the bushes. Bushes are doing well though! I really need to get outside and do some yard work, honestly......

Also crochet. But crochet has been absolutely fantastic for me; great to just mindlessly do during other things (I can't simply sit and watch tv, I need my hands busy), and in my lulls of other interests, I get very inspired to make other crochet things.

Anyway...to answer your question, he got 17 years and has served 8 of them. I know 9 years is still a little ways away but my Mom seems to think, for whatever reason, he may be let out early. I honestly don't know enough about any of it to say whether that's true or just wishful thinking. Anyway she still has every intention of moving out of her house, I guess the question now is where to? She did talk about maybe getting a small place near here, not her primary residence but somewhere to stay when visiting. She stays with us now, but she feels she's going to be a burden after the baby is here because we are stretched on space as it is. I think we can still make it work, it just might be like a bed in the storage room or something but it's doable. It's a pretty big room; she's not going to be sleeping on canned food or something lol. But it's up to her....now I just gotta wait and see how things shake out I guess.

 

[shaescott]

Gigs my OPKs were good, after the first positive it was positive all through the next day, so my LH did its job for sure.

I do the same hyperfixation thing. Unfortunately my burst of productive energy only lasts a few hours and is of course hyperfixated on one thing. I tend to leave a lot of projects partially done.

Oh wow, crazy that it’s already been 8 years. I know sometimes prisons let people out early for good behavior or due to overcrowding, both of which I think is bullcrap. The judge set the number of years for a reason, why do they get to just ignore that? I mean, maybe for certain crimes like unarmed robbery, drug possession (without intent to distribute), I can understand the good behavior thing… but not so much with crimes like this. Hopefully if your mom insists on honoring that agreement, she won’t move so close to you. I would definitely be uncomfortable with that, especially with kiddos at home.

 

[gigglebox]

No I definitely think she'll stay a minimum of an hour away. We discussed some location possibilities and they're all about an hour minimum from here, some more like an hour 15, and some closer to 2 hours. He knows I don't want anything to do with him ever; I wrote him a letter early on (he wrote me one first to apologize, and then also was trying to make me feel bad for him); I told him to never contact me again, that if I ever want any sort of relationship I'll be the one to reach out, not the other way. I told him not to contact me again, and he hasn't. With the file built on him involving me, he could be put away for many more years I'm sure, so I'm guessing he's not going to push the issue. Even so, hubby wants me to get a restraining order against him but I don't know if that's necessary, especially if he lives that far away. He'll likely be released on parole and monitored so he stays within a certain distance from his home.

Haha, I totally relate to the unfinished projects! Hubby and I are both very guilty of it. We call ourselves "90% people" because we can mostly finish many projects, and when they get far enough along and functional, we drop them lol

 

[shaescott]

Gigs I often don’t even get 50% of a project done before the motivation dies

That’s good that he should be far away. The whole situation is just terrible. I can’t even imagine being a family member in that situation.

Fingers crossed my temp will continue to rise tomorrow morning. If so, and if I conceived, it looks like EDD would be 6/10, which is our anniversary. If my temp doesn’t rise more tomorrow, I think it would be likely that ovulation failed. Which is of course a whole other issue, especially with insufficient progesterone last month. Kinda indicates a pattern, which would be bad. Hopefully that won’t be the case. Agh the waiting drives me crazy. I read that magnesium supplementation helps increase progesterone during the luteal phase, and I started taking magnesium at the beginning of this cycle, so hopefully that will help, but there’s only so much it can do if the corpus luteum ain’t doing its job or an egg didn’t release.

 

[gigglebox]

I think low progesterone is a fairly easy fix if that is a factor, but i guess we’ll see! That would be so cute if the due date worked out. But yeah just have realistic expectations so you aren’t crushed, but also o-5 definitely is a possibility! Fx

I’ll be curious to see what happens With tomorrow’s temp

 

[shaescott]

Gigs yeah my concern is mainly what would be causing low progesterone all of a sudden. Like is it just stress, or are my ovaries FAILING? Who knows? Hopefully my temp will be up tomorrow and I won’t have to worry.

 

[shaescott]

Unfortunately, I don’t have good news this morning. My temp is still under 97. Part of me hopes that the scale is off since I hadn’t used the oura ring in so long, but… realistically, it seems I’m just not ovulating. Just like last month.

 

[gigglebox]

I'm so sorry Shae!! I hope it's just not picking it up for some reason. Also it's a bit hard to gauge if you haven't been using it consistently.

 

[shaescott]

Yeah I’ll test my progesterone levels to confirm, but it’s definitely not looking good. Considering the suboptimal progesterone levels last cycle, I’m definitely concerned about why I’m not successfully ovulating.

DH goes “we can test if you’re ovulating or not next month if we BD on the supposed ovulation day” lmao like yes I suppose we can, if he’s actually willing to do that

 

[gigglebox]

um can you get him to do that now in case it's just delayed???!

Also is your period still coming as normal? if you were having issues ovulating, I'd imagine your LP would be all wonky, too