General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[shaescott]

Gigs we’re the first in our friend group to get married. One other couple remains, but the guy is the type to drag his feet, so I doubt he proposes any time soon even though they’ve lived together for a few years now. The other two of DH’s friends are single, one just recently out of a 5 year relationship, and does not want kids at all whatsoever (even though we all agree he’d be a fantastic dad, but his dad left him at a young age and moved to Texas with his new wife and had new kids, so he’s got trauma).

I thought every state had FMLA but I could totally be wrong and do not feel like googling it hahaha

Yeah unless my sister marries a girl who wants to take her last name, my maiden name dies with my dad. He was an only child. It was honestly really hard to give up my name, I mean it’s literally your name, it’s hard to just change it when you’ve been using it for your entire life. It’s like changing a major piece of your identity. But I did it, for multiple reasons, including that I want to have the same last name as my kids, and that it was super important to DH.

Autumnal I’m glad I’m not the only one who got married at what people now consider a young age! Makes no sense to me why it’s controversial to get married in your early to mid 20s, but apparently it is.

AFM, DH got this email this evening!

It sounds really promising so we are hoping their wording isn’t giving us false hope.

 

[gigglebox]

oooh Shae let us know how the call goes!!! That would be insanely cruel to send a message like that only to say, "sorry, you aren't qualified for this position". Eeee!!!

fun little giglebox trivia for ya...I actually changed my name before the wedding, haha. I wasn't attached to my maiden name. I didn't have the greatest relationship with my father or his side of the family growing up, and I thought it was kind of an ugly sounding name anyway. In retrospect it's really not that bad...but I like my married name much better.

Also I'm struggling to think of a name for the kid if it's a boy. I think we'll come to some sort of agreement on the first name, but for the second name I feel like I should be naming the baby something to do with my side of the family if it's a boy....but I don't wanna. I thought I should name him after my father, but as I mentioned, I didn't have the greatest relationship growing up. It got much better as an adult, but then I resented him for being a lackluster grandfather to my kids. I also feel slighted that his dying wish was that I go visit my incarcerated brother, whereas he left his precious sports car to my oldest brother. Yup that seems fair and equal.

So then there's my Mom's side of the family, but the only name that really suits is "David" (her father's name), which is little too traditional for my taste, and also my MIL's husband has that name and while I love him, I don't feel like I want to name my kid after him (seemingly).
We had this same problem with the last boy. In the end, in the recovery room, I decided I wanted his middle name to be of the man I respect more than any other man I've known -- that being my husband

anyway I'm open to suggestions lol. Jez came through with a name suggestion last time so here's hoping y'all help me again haha

 

[shaescott]

HE PASSED! Just barely, the recruiter said that he “managed to sneak in” with his score lmaoooo but he did well enough to qualify for the unpaid training, which is kinda like a coding bootcamp but free. It’ll take 1-2 months. After he gets through that, he’ll move on to the paid training for 1-3 months, and then he’ll get his placement with a company!

 

[shaescott]

DH is just so incredibly excited. He’s felt like he was treading water in a hurricane with no end in sight, and now he feels like there’s light at the end of the tunnel. This training is going to be incredibly hard, but they’re giving him a chance, and that means everything to him. If this works out, we can start TTC in like… 6 months? Maybe less? Whenever he gets a placement and we move and he feels like he knows what he’s doing lol

 

[gigglebox]

Woohooo!!!! Tell him congratulations for us!!! That’s so wonderful!

 

[shaescott]

Gigs thank you!!!

Okay I hear you need names so I’m gonna run through the ones we’ve picked out/like.

Our top boy name right now is Theodore, and we’re not using a family name as the middle name for that one as we don’t think any of them fit well. We decided on Theodore James. Sounds classic, and we can call him Theo or Teddy. Our second boy name choice is Benjamin, which is a family name, with a few options for middle names, two of which are family names (Daniel and Charles), and one of which has a cool meaning (Levi, who was the son of Leah in the Bible, which is my first name). If we’ve got more than 2 boys we’ll probably move to Jacob (DH’s brother’s name) and who knows on the middle name.
Additional boy names on my list, mostly under possible middle names: Isaiah, Oliver, Henry, Max, Emmanuel, Finnegan, Everest

We definitely prefer more traditional names, I think. I saw something that said this generation of parents tends to search for names in their grandparents era, and I definitely find that accurate for me. Our top girl name choice is Ellie, we decided full legal name will be Eleanor. Though I adore Elora or Elodie, DH doesn’t like them. Sad. Second girl name choice we agreed on is Charlotte, unsure of middle name choice there. Third is Daisy. I like Daisy Mae but it sounds SOOOOOO southern. We are not from the south lol. So middle name is very up in the air for that one as well.
Additional girl names on my list, the first few are first name and then the rest are middle name ideas: Aria, Madeleine, Adeline, Grace, Clara, Violet, Rose, Hazel, Claire, June, Juniper

 

[gigglebox]

All beautiful names, just none we would personally use as we typically don't do traditional. I really love Aria though, I worked with an Ari when I was fresh outta high school and I always loved that name! I also really love June but I don't think hubs would ever go for it. Everest is a good one too, but I love Everette (one of my kids' middle name that in retrospect we kind of wish we used as a first time, but alas) and I also like the variation Ever, although I feel like it sounds, as hubs would say, "too hippie" lol.

I recently met an Elora, then had a foot in mouth moment when I asked if it was from the movie Willow, and added "no judgement!" when I asked *insert awkward laughter face*. Mom was like....no. LOL; I do really love that name too though, but too close to my real name, actually my first and middle names oddly enough. Also.......Willow.

Our top runner name for years was Ember for a girl. Now hubs has fallen out of love with it, and I kind of have, too. So if it is a girl, we'll be back to the drawing board on names. We were totally set on Ember for years so kind of funny we're now both like...eh. I still like it a lot but it doesn't feel like "the one" like it used to.

 

[shaescott]

Gigs I totally forgot about the Willow thing. I mentioned I liked the name to my dad a few years ago and he was like “oh like from Willow?” And I was like “huh?”
To be honest idk how I’ll feel about Eleanor for a newborn now. It might be too old. I like Ellie, totally using that, but the full name is more complicated. Especially since DH hates my alternative El names. There’s a non-zero chance we give up on a formal name and just use Ellie as the legal name. I know it’s kinda cutesy but considering all the names that came about in the past 15 years, I think it’ll be one of the more normal ones lol.

 

[DobbyForever]

All my shit be hitting all the fans but just wanted to say so happy for SO shae!

 

[shaescott]

Dobs oh no! I hope things work out, keep us updated when/if you can

Gigs it’s funny, now I’m reading back names and I’m like… what if I don’t like Charlotte anymore I like cute names like Ellie and Daisy, idk if Charlotte is cute enough, it seems a bit old and formal, like I know you’re naming a future adult but like you’re also naming a current newborn. Agh. Good thing I’m not pregnant yet, I’ve got some thinking to do lmao

 

[shaescott]

Update: have discussed with DH, we’re nixing Charlotte, but likely keeping Eleanor due to the yell test sounding more authoritative with Eleanor than Ellie lol. We still think Daisy is cute. DH gave Aria a maybe, it helps that it’s Italian for song, he’s largely Italian so is partial to anything Italian hahaha. He also likes Maddie but doesn’t love Madeleine, which is a little annoying, because I definitely would want the full name for that one, I much prefer Madeleine over Maddie personally, I just don’t love Maddie. We both like Grace but our last name starts with S so it just won’t flow correctly. Very sad. Also DH is highly considering using Levi as a first name purely because of its meaning, but we both know for a fact that DH’s brother and best friend will both call our child “Jeans” (they literally told us so) might use it anyway though.

 

[autumnal]

I am having a hard time picking out names too!! I wish we could use Charles but we used it for a middle name lol and the bearer is the type of child who absolutely would get angry about having to share his name. Eleanor is beautiful! One of my favorites

I'm 7dpo today and having some symptoms.. but I don't trust those hahahah. I'm trying to figure out which day I want to test. I got a bfp by 10dpo with all three of my children and the one time I got a late one it was a chemical so 10dp is pretty tempting

 

[HalfricanMa]

@shaescott I like Cynthia paired with a last name starting with S but ours is a W. I’ve tried to come up with first names beginning with W because I find the alliteration classy, but best I could do for girls is Winnifred “winnie”. Our name is meant to be pronounced as a ‘V’ so I can go for ‘V’ names too.
I love Levi!
@autumnal I also wish we could use the middle name we gave to our daughter as a first for another kiddo if we had another girl. But since one never knows which kiddos are next to come, gotta use the names on the firsts! Haha

 

[autumnal]

Winnie is adorable.. I love Wilma too!

 

[Jules8]

I’m joining your group cause you all seem fun. Lol I had such a hard time with names. I worked with kids for like 10 years and some of the ones I like I simply can’t use because of a bad association. For my first I was sure she was a boy and had a great name so I told my husband he could pick the girl name. Her name is Emma-Leigh…he wanted a hyphenated name like his. Our second I knew was a girl and she was. Her name is Luella after her great grandmother and her middle is Rey from Star Wars. My son is Gabriel aka Gabe. We could not come up with a name for anything. I saw angels everywhere and one day it just popped in my head. Our other top names are Elle, Maggie, Peter, Jacob, and Elliot. I feel like we need some more girl names to add though.

 

[autumnal]

@Jules8 Iove those names!! I didn't like Peter before but then I had a coworker with that name who was an amazing, funny person and now I love it. Girl names are easier for me.. there are so many beautiful ones. I struggle with the boy names.
If we have another boy my hubby really wants to use Robert. I'm not against it but I don't love Bob/Bobby as a nickname because our surname sounds very alliterative with it lol. I like Lucas but he doesn't... Ugh!

 

[gigglebox]

Welcome to the party Jules!

I love Gabe and Luella!
Robert’s not bad, what about Rob as a nickname? Or Robby?

So I like Ellie but heads up, that’s the main character of “The Last Of Us” and I wouldn’t be surprised if this name gains in popularity this year and next because of the popularity of the show (the game was so much better but the show is good).

Dobs I hope those fans stop spinning!

OK LADIES……
Today is my bday, I’m visiting with my side of the family. We were getting ready to take the kids to a park and my phone rang…it was my ob’s office. The NP called and said my results came back and everything looks great! I’ve been thinking for days that if this happened, I’d ask to have her put the gender in an envelope and I could pick it up and read it when I’m ready. Well, everyone was there and I thought, why not, I’ll just put her on speaker and we can all find out together, plus I don’t have to wait and I felt ready in that moment. So we all got to hear together! It was actually a nice reveal despite being completely spontaneous, no build up at all; I wasn’t even anticipating the call so I didn’t have to be nervous long to find out, plus after hearing everything was OK with the testing I was just relieved.

So…do you ladies want to know now or wait to guess the nub in two weeks?

Any guesses?

 

[gigglebox]

It just occurred to me the NP also ordered some bloodwork for me since I was concerned after my illness and that all looked good too so yay! That is a relief for sure!

 

[DobbyForever]

Yeah I'm like literal panic attack all day every day because it's just constant bs.

I'm pro Aria. I didn't read all the names, but I always pictured having a girl named Aria. A boy named Aiden is pretty close hahaha.

Autumnal keeping my FXed for you! We're all into poas so I'd already be testing kudos for having restraint!

Jules welcome to the cool kids club!

Gigs I LOVE that for you! That's so special! Spontaneous and with everyone there. Also yay for clear results! Lol I both wanna know and don't wanna know. Like it';d be fun to see if the nub theory holds and guess... but I'm feeling very you like wellllllll why NOT know now. I also want to guess but I don't want to guess because what I'm right everyone guessed boy for A and so when I finally revealed there was no excitement. Just yeah we all guessed boy let's go get pho

 

[DobbyForever]

Oh and my students got me sick so now I'm worried that I'm gonna get A sick