Ginger baby???

[syntaxerror]

I think that could be a misapplication of the term "racism" that may be offensive to someone who experiences genuine racial discrimination.

(After all, is it "racist" if I'm more attracted to red- and dark-haired women than blondes? Or racist if my FOB has the opposite preference?)

The way the OP presented this was definitely tactless and I'm not going to back her up on this...I'm just not certain we should be yelling "racism" over hair color.

(Footnote: ^^ EEEEK, your baby is PRECIOUS!)

 

[JellyBeann]

He is a munchkin, isn't he?

I think it is a form of racism (a mil one!)...I prefer dark haired guys, but I'm not entirely sure preferring them would be tha same as hoping my baby isn't ginger!!

 

[Kassy]

My auntie on my real dads side (who i don't really know) has ginger hair, i have dark blonde hair, green eyes and freckles and my brother has strawberry blonde/brown hair with hazel eyes, My mother has dark brown hair. I don't think there's anything wrong with ginger hair, me and my oh have a couple of friends who are firey redheads. I would love my child to have dark brown hair like my mother, but if my baby had ginger hair i would love him or her regardless.​

 

[wigglywoo]

I wonder if perhaps people who are worried about having a child with red/ginger hair remember the way that their peers were teased at school and don't want the same for their own child, rather than being prejudiced against ginger hair themselves

 

[Rebaby]

I will think he/she is beautiful regardless obv I just really hope bub takes after me xx

You mean takes after you by having unprotected sex with people they find unattractive just to satisfy their genitals, and then, as an adult, goes on to make fun of these people's appearances...despite being the very person breeding these traits into the population? Yeah, I think we need more people like that. Hope you get one of those rather than a redhead!

Well i thought this was quite funny

How you can have sex with a person with red hair and then worry that you might have a baby with red hair is beyond me. Imagine if the OP had said instead: "I got drunk and crossed the line with a black friend of mine and now i'm worried my baby will be black and i would still love them of course but i wouldn't want them to get bullied for being black" (Because all i've done there really is substitute the word ginger for black!)

People would be horrified and rightly so! But apparently because it's hair colour and not skin colour there's no problem with expressing a distaste for one particular type?

Amazing how quickly folk forget the slippery slope we start on when we decide on physical characteristic is more desirable than another...nazis and the aryan race anyone?!

Things i was picked on for in school:

Being pale
Having dark circles under my eyes
Having freckles on my forearms
Being 'clever'/'teachers pet'/'swot'
Being skinny
Not wearing branded trainers for P.E.
Being flat chested...and then later after 'blossoming' being big-boobed
Being called Rebecca (apparently, it rhymes with pecker?! )
Being 'the new girl' (we moved around a lot when i was younger)

And probably loads more i've forgotten about. If someone wants to pick on you they will find something, ANYTHING and hone in on that. Our job as parents is to make sure our children know their worth, know they are as good as anyone else and that they are loved for who they are, so that their self esteem can bear up to whatever the school yard might throw at them.

I find it upsetting that people genuinely think it's ok to hope your child isn't ginger, even if it's under the pretense of "for their own sake- so they don't get bullied" I'm a neonatal nurse so at work i get to see every day what happens when pregnancy/birth is not straightforward (for lots and lots of different reasons, and with lots and lots of different outcomes) and from personal experience, i have had 2 miscarriages and my younger sister has had 3. My maternal grandmother lost 3 babies through stillbirth (2 full term and 1 pre term) and also had miscarriages. My MIL also had a late mc. And on here i've had the fortune to 'meet' so many amazing strong and kind ladies who have supported others through losses of different kinds whilst also grieving for their own losses. So the focus for me is very much on hoping for babies to be healthy.

I know a few people on this thread have said "It's only the same as someone expressing a preference for gender" but a. i don't actually think it IS the same and b. even if we pretend for a minute that it is the same...if the OP had said "i really hope my baby isn't a girl" or "i really hope my baby isn't a boy" i do genuinely think she would have provoked the same sort of response.

 

[Lawhra]

ALL of the children on this thread are gorgeous

Kids will be bullied for many reasons. Instead of worrying about their hair colour, you are better off preparing them for the cruel world of school and teach them to cope.

My son was picked on for his name. His name is Louis. How ridiculous! I have raised him to shrug things off, and that is exactly what he does. I am SO proud of him. If he is ever picked on he either brushes it off or stands up for himself. He is a brave boy as he is quite small being one of the youngest in his year.

I couldn't care less if my baby will have blonde/brown/black/ginger hair. His health is all that matters. Both of my sons will be raised to ignore bullies and NEVER be one themselves. If everyone did that there wouldn't be bullies to worry about.

The OP comes across very immature. I hope she grows up when her baby arrives.

 

[tryn42mel]

I have heard so many people say they hope their baby has blue eyes like them/or partner instead of their/partners brown eyes. Does that make them racist too? Come on people the girl said she hopes her baby isn't ginger not that she wouldn't love the baby or that she doesn't care about it's health. I wanted my children to have my green eyes instead of my dh's brown but they both got brown. It doesn't mean I didn't love them or wouldn't love them or don't love them and care for their health. I hope this next baby has green eyes. I guess that makes me racist.....

 

[tryn42mel]

I also guess it means I don't care about the health either......

 

[tiger]

i think my little ginger is pretty damn cute actually

 

[kgriffin]

with all the people on here praying to have a baby, seems a bit insensitive to say words like this..

 

[kellyb]

tryn4mel--I think one thing that sets apart what you are saying is the wording. Wishing FOR something just sounds so much more positive than wishing AGAINST something. You're saying that you hope the baby has green eyes, which sounds like you really like green eyes, but not necessarily that you're against the other colors. It would just sound so much worse if you said, "I really hope the baby does not have brown eyes," because there's a negative connotation directed toward the brown--it's not even implied, but instead just straight up blatant. Since the op directly phrased in the negative that might be why it sounds so bad. Just my guess...

 

[gmh]

tryn4mel--I think one thing that sets apart what you are saying is the wording. Wishing FOR something just sounds so much more positive than wishing AGAINST something. You're saying that you hope the baby has green eyes, which sounds like you really like green eyes, but not necessarily that you're against the other colors. It would just sound so much worse if you said, "I really hope the baby does not have brown eyes," because there's a negative connotation directed toward the brown--it's not even implied, but instead just straight up blatant. Since the op directly phrased in the negative that might be why it sounds so bad. Just my guess...

my thoughts exactly. i just couldnt be bothered typing it out.

 

[Jo]

I have heard so many people say they hope their baby has blue eyes like them/or partner instead of their/partners brown eyes. Does that make them racist too? Come on people the girl said she hopes her baby isn't ginger not that she wouldn't love the baby or that she doesn't care about it's health. I wanted my children to have my green eyes instead of my dh's brown but they both got brown. It doesn't mean I didn't love them or wouldn't love them or don't love them and care for their health. I hope this next baby has green eyes. I guess that makes me racist.....

I actually think most of the responses in this thread are now to do with the poster that said "people with ginger hair are creepy".

That is what fired me up anyway not the OP.

 

[nov_mum]

It is not being racist. It is being discriminatory but not racist. To be racist you need to be expressing discriminatory messages about a race of people and insinuate that they are inferior because of their race. If you talk of ginger/red head people being a race that sets them apart from people with other coloured hair. This is more divisive than expressing a preference in my opinion.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

I agree. It doesn't fit the definition of racism, but it is discriminatory. The reason redheads are seen as different is because WAY back when, redheaded people were though to be the result of sex during menstruation. They were thought to be "evil" and without religious values. Grow up people! Are we really still perpetuating a stereotype that existed hundreds of years ago?

 

[JellyBeann]

That's the word!! I couldn't think of the right word!! But yes, I think we need to shelf this idea of ginger/red heads!!

 

[Evale]

Wow, insinuating the OP is a callous slut is way out of line. I agree, it's probably no different than wishing for a specific gender etc. I don't think many people feel badly about their child because of their hair colour. The OP is entitled to express her hopes and wishes for her baby too. Some people hope bubs will have their eyes or their partners olive skin etc. I think there is a bit of ginger baggage that people are carrying around, ready to offload on the first person who mentions it.

Where the hell was this said? Because I missed it!

It was Evales post back a page form your original post.

I guess some people will always see red hair as being a less desired trait given that there is a negative feeling towards that trait. Everyone feels differently. I am in the healthy baby camp. I would just be happy to have my baby born and stay alive at this stage. This doesn't mean that the OP can't have her preferences. My friends loves her hubby but openly wishes bubs doesn't get his nose and jokes about saving up for plastic surgery. I don't think this makes her a bad person as I don't think wishing for a particular hair colour does.

Nowhere in my quote does it say "callous" or "slut" or any word that would be a reasonable synonym for either of them. If you chose to translate the words "unprotected sex" to mean "callous slut", that actually makes it your insinuation and one which I don't happen to agree with.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

My god! I didn't think red hair would cause 20 pages of people up in arms about it! IT IS HAIR! Simple as that. My goodness! I think we need to concentrate on teaching our children tolerance and to treat people as equals regardless of looks! Maybe that would help stop the silly schoolyard teasing!

 

[Evale]

My god! I didn't think red hair would cause 20 pages of people up in arms about it! IT IS HAIR! Simple as that. My goodness! I think we need to concentrate on teaching our children tolerance and to treat people as equals regardless of looks! Maybe that would help stop the silly schoolyard teasing!

I think it's caused 20 pages of comments because the OP's attitude toward red hair (ie saying "eeek" after noting her sperm donator was red headed) is perpetuating the intolerance and discrimination that these schoolyard bully kids are learning. I agree that adults need to set some standards of tolerance, and many of the comments have shown that the attitude of the OP and the "creepy freckled kid" poster will not be tolerated. I'm glad people voiced distaste and offense if that is what they felt. I also think the US vs UK view of red hair has been interesting. I agree that there definitely does not seems to be the amount of teasing in the US and very often red hair is a favorable trait.

 

[merchstiniog]

I was praying that my little one would have red hair, there is Red hair on both sides of her family and her father is red.

I went into our scan and when they asked did we want to know wheter we were having a boy or girl I replied that I didnt care as long ars it was Ginger. he he and I meant it

I would do anything for red hair, in fact I hve I've dyed it soooo many times and It just doest suit me.

But my beautiful little girl has the most wonderful strawberry blonde(quite dark) hair and deep blue eyes and she is stunning.

I personnaly dont understand the problem peapole have with red heads, never have