Have another baby or no?

[Mimzy3]

My baby is only 6 months old but I find myself wondering if and when I'll I have another baby. DH wants another baby. I'm on the fence but I know IF we do have another baby I would want to have it sooner than later. Which I guess is where I feel pressured to decided now. I would like to have them close in age and to get the "baby" stuff out of the way so I'm not getting one out of diapers then starting all over again with another one. But then again I don't know if I want another baby. Simple because those first several months are sooo hard. And how will I balance my time between working full time and taking care of two babies? But I also find myself thinking if I only have one child I'll find myself wishing I had, had more. And I know how special having a sibling is. They're your built in best friend. So I guess question is how did you decided to have another baby or not?!

 

[Lauraxamy]

I didn't it just happened. There's only 18 months between my two and I think it's a lovely age gap. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be and I love how close they are now, they play together and have such fun. The hardest part for me was I get terribly sick with my pregnancies so having a baby, (she was 9-10 months old when I found out I was pregnant) and feeling so horribly sick, throwing up etc and I'd just gone back to work from previous maternity leave so working as well was so draining but other than that I love having them so close

 

[smallpeanut]

I have a 13 month age gap which is really easy. Your second tends to just fit in. Or it did for me anyway xx

 

[missk1989]

I always knew we would have more than one. (we havent yet are waiting to TTC) My OH is an only child and and he hated it. Noone to play with especially on holidays was his main reason. The reason we havent yet is because i wanted to get a decent jon and career before our next one.
You will never regret having another but you might regret not doing.

 

[Nats21]

I was definitely not ready at 6 months to have another one. I would of ideally liked a 2 and a half - 3 year age gap between my two but with TTC taking longer then I thought it would there will be 3 years 9 months between them, its nice in one way as Callum is settled in nursery, hes in pants so I won't be having to do two sets off nappies and is old enough to understand and is quite excited for his sister to arrive.

Its upto you individually but I wouldn't rush into the decision as who knows how long it'll take you to become pregnant, good luck hun xx

 

[Mimzy3]

I always knew we would have more than one. (we havent yet are waiting to TTC) My OH is an only child and and he hated it. Noone to play with especially on holidays was his main reason. The reason we havent yet is because i wanted to get a decent jon and career before our next one.
You will never regret having another but you might regret not doing.

WOW that is soooo true what a powerful statement! Thank you

 

[Mimzy3]

I was definitely not ready at 6 months to have another one. I would of ideally liked a 2 and a half - 3 year age gap between my two but with TTC taking longer then I thought it would there will be 3 years 9 months between them, its nice in one way as Callum is settled in nursery, hes in pants so I won't be having to do two sets off nappies and is old enough to understand and is quite excited for his sister to arrive.

Its upto you individually but I wouldn't rush into the decision as who knows how long it'll take you to become pregnant, good luck hun xx

Very true could take awhile to become preg. I still haven't got my period but I'm breastfeeding so I know that is not entirely unusual. And before I got preg. I was on BCP for a very long time and it took awhile for my body to balance out and actually become preg. So I have no idea how my cycles are going to be now. Maybe I'll just see what happens like Laura

 

[impatient1]

We knew we wanted another and just felt it was the right time, a close friend's near death accident helped hammer down the time for us though. I do really like the age difference we have, our oldest just got out of diapers so only buying for one was great and she is really helpful.

 

[mummylove]

when my daughter was 7 months we got pregnant and i was excite sadly i lost that baby but got pregnant again when she was 13 months. I like them close in age cus now lucas's is older they play together they like the same thing etc. With nappies its easier than u think cus with the oldest they dont need changing as much. I found it easy and im so glad we had them close in age. Plus we havent used anything for 2 years as i want another but just hasnt happened.

 

[vaniilla]

We wanted a 1 year age gap but life had other plans, we knew we wanted another baby so we didn't have too much to decide on that front. There is never really a right or wrong time to have a baby you just have to go by what you feel is best and to ask yourself if your family feels complete.

 

[seoj]

We aren't going to- I think maybe, if I was younger, didn't have fertility issues or if we didn't have my hubbies daughter full time- she's my oldest too. But that all factors. So even though the girls have a 14yr age gap- they adore eachother. They are so fun to watch!!! plus, I love that I have my teenager (she's 16 now) to go do girly stuff with and my LO to do more kid stuff with... for me, it's the perfect combo! Obviously not planned that way when I was younger- haha. But how it worked out and I can't imagine it any other way now.

I do think there will always be this tiny part of me that wonders what a boy would of been like- but not enough to start all over I feel complete and happy-- although I would go back in time and relive so many moments with my LO since it all just passes all too quickly--...

You don't have to make any decisions now hun- or put pressure on yourself. No matter what you decide, it will be the right decision for your family. No matter the age gap (if you do want more)- your kids will always have eachother. I'm only 2.5yrs older than my brother- and we were close as kids, but grew apart as we grew up- and didn't talk more or see eachother much at all for years-- outside of holidays and birthdays. But as adults, married with our own kids now- and our girls are only 7mos apart-- we have reconnected and do more family stuff. It's nice

 

[holly2234]

We have decided against having any more. We couldnt afford childcare for two and we would need a bigger house etc. Our daughter was born when we were young so we are looking forward to a future of travelling and the things we didnt do when young.

I often have thoughts of wanting another baby, but then i remember the reality of it and i shudder at the thought. Right now we can provide and hopefully give DD a good life. Im not going to jeopardize that.

 

[Jes.shortcake]

Me and OH originally wanted 2 but after a very traumatic and scary birth that almost took me and LO's lives, the thought of getting pregnant again was scary. A few months later I forgot a couple of BC pills so I got pregnant again but unfortunately lost that pregnancy. It could be because I was stressing out and scared of being pregnant or it happened just because. As of right now..I'm undecided

 

[phoenix333]

I was an only child until I was nearly 12 and I always remember being quite lonely and longing for a sibling so I always knew I'd want more than 1 child. As soon as DD was born despite a traumatic birth and her being very demanding I was as broody as anything, when to have another was constantly on my mind. However when I told OH I wanted to start trying in a couple of months, it turned out despite still breastfeeding and not having a period, I was already pregnant! So it kinda took the decision out of my hands

 

[Mimzy3]

We have decided against having any more. We couldnt afford childcare for two and we would need a bigger house etc. Our daughter was born when we were young so we are looking forward to a future of travelling and the things we didnt do when young.

I often have thoughts of wanting another baby, but then i remember the reality of it and i shudder at the thought. Right now we can provide and hopefully give DD a good life. Im not going to jeopardize that.

yeah thats another thing I've thought of...Right now we can afford to give him everything he would ever want or need. But with two babies things would be more "tight".

I've just heard a lot of ppl say how they would miss out on that sibling love/bond. And honestly right now that is the only reason I would have another one. Is so that he would have a sibling because I know being an only child is prob lonely like others have said. and I know how much I value having my big sis.

Ughhh such a big decision to make, I guess I still have some time though considering I don't even have my period yet anyways!

 

[holly2234]

I have considered that too but then i remember that her father has two more children (not his biologically) with his girlfriend so she is socializing and she has 3 cousins too.

She has people around for her and i just plain dont want all of that waking up in the night, finding daycare, going to work tired, having no money stress ever again. Plus i have no health insurance so for me to have another baby would just be irresponsible on my part. So unless we get a surprise, there wont be any more babies. Maybe in 10 years but its doubtful!

 

[Pearls18]

Going from 1 to 2 was easy for me, I always knew I wanted 2 so they could share a childhood, I'd never have wanted DS to be an only child even if it meant adopting, if I couldn't have 2 I wouldn't have had 1 if that makes sense.

Choosing whether to have a third is much more difficult, part of me doesn't feel done, part of me wants to try for a girl (but I know that's not a good enough reason alone) but then I think I couldn't go through pregnancy, newborn etc all over again, we can afford a nice lifestyle with 2 etc, the usual stuff. We're young though, 26, so will take our time but I don't want to leave it too long because I don't want to "start over" resulting in spending my 20s and 30s at the awkward baby stage.

I'm trying to take it a day at a time but it's hard to deafen the internal dialogue. How about giving yourself a deadline? Maybe say to yourself you won't think about it now, until your child is 1 for example, and at that stage you will evaluate?

 

[Samiam03]

I didn't decide for my second and was on the fence at the time. A little too much excitement, a one time thing, and bam...positive. My kids are 23 months apart. We did baby wearing and breastfeeding...so the first few months were not too bad but once my second got mobile...holy shit it was hard. Especially since my 1st was at a point where he would run off and not listen to me. Now that my 3 1/2 year old is getting more obedient it is getting somewhat easier again but honestly it is hard. Plus pregnancy with a 14-23 month old was not fun. It was sooo hard having morning sickness and still having to be a parent to my son. It was also extremely hard to deal with exhaustion and my desire to sleep a lot with an energetic toddler. I honestly fell asleep on the couch a few times while I should have watched him. I would not recommend doing it that close together at all (and im surprised others had an easy time). I would say best gap is 2-3 years. If I did have another I would wait until my youngest was 2 1/2. At 3 they are actually really helpful and will respond if you ask to get a diaper or something.

As for having another one...yes you definitely should! I am an only...growing up I didn't care because my mom had programmed me not to want a sibling. Then when I hit high school, I saw how close a lot of my friends were with their siblings and it honestly makes me sad. Now that I am mid 20s it really bugs me constantly. I don't have a good relationship with my parents and I have a hard time making friends...so I feel alone a lot. I really wish I had a sister that I could turn to or a brother that could understand my issues with my upbringing. I'm also having issues with my mom being mentally ill and refusing to go on medication and I have to deal with it all on my own...I hate it. I would give my left leg for a sibling (preferably a sister )...honestly.

 

[Mimzy3]

Going from 1 to 2 was easy for me, I always knew I wanted 2 so they could share a childhood, I'd never have wanted DS to be an only child even if it meant adopting, if I couldn't have 2 I wouldn't have had 1 if that makes sense.

Choosing whether to have a third is much more difficult, part of me doesn't feel done, part of me wants to try for a girl (but I know that's not a good enough reason alone) but then I think I couldn't go through pregnancy, newborn etc all over again, we can afford a nice lifestyle with 2 etc, the usual stuff. We're young though, 26, so will take our time but I don't want to leave it too long because I don't want to "start over" resulting in spending my 20s and 30s at the awkward baby stage.

I'm trying to take it a day at a time but it's hard to deafen the internal dialogue. How about giving yourself a deadline? Maybe say to yourself you won't think about it now, until your child is 1 for example, and at that stage you will evaluate?

I really like that idea! I think that will help put my mind at ease a bit. Then when he is a year maybe I'll have a clearer idea on what I want to do!

 

[Mimzy3]

I didn't decide for my second and was on the fence at the time. A little too much excitement, a one time thing, and bam...positive. My kids are 23 months apart. We did baby wearing and breastfeeding...so the first few months were not too bad but once my second got mobile...holy shit it was hard. Especially since my 1st was at a point where he would run off and not listen to me. Now that my 3 1/2 year old is getting more obedient it is getting somewhat easier again but honestly it is hard. Plus pregnancy with a 14-23 month old was not fun. It was sooo hard having morning sickness and still having to be a parent to my son. It was also extremely hard to deal with exhaustion and my desire to sleep a lot with an energetic toddler. I honestly fell asleep on the couch a few times while I should have watched him. I would not recommend doing it that close together at all (and im surprised others had an easy time). I would say best gap is 2-3 years. If I did have another I would wait until my youngest was 2 1/2. At 3 they are actually really helpful and will respond if you ask to get a diaper or something.

As for having another one...yes you definitely should! I am an only...growing up I didn't care because my mom had programmed me not to want a sibling. Then when I hit high school, I saw how close a lot of my friends were with their siblings and it honestly makes me sad. Now that I am mid 20s it really bugs me constantly. I don't have a good relationship with my parents and I have a hard time making friends...so I feel alone a lot. I really wish I had a sister that I could turn to or a brother that could understand my issues with my upbringing. I'm also having issues with my mom being mentally ill and refusing to go on medication and I have to deal with it all on my own...I hate it. I would give my left leg for a sibling (preferably a sister )...honestly.

Thank you so much for sharing! You have shared some very valuable points. I always thought I'd want them close together but knew that being preg with a young baby would be super hard and those first few years would be tough. But my sis and I have a 3 year age gap and it works! I love how you were honest about your want for a sibling. I honestly do think I'll end up having another baby because I really want DS to have a sibling. Just the timing is going to be hard to figure out.