Have u or do u spank your child? Non judgmental thread

[overcomer79]

I just have to throw this out and I'm sorry for even relating the two...but people talk about well I was abused as a child so therefore swatting on the bottom is abuse in my eyes...ok fine that's your opinion...

I'm going to be very personal here and just go ahead and say something...I was sexually abused as a child, does that make anyone in my eyes a sexual predator for showing their children affection?..

My answer is no but I dealt with my issues in counselling long before even getting married...

That's what bothers me with some of these abuse comments being slung around carelessly..[/QUOTE
Omg that was so uncalled for. I never said because i was abused people who swat are there for abusers that is not what i said at all!. i was very calm and explained were all good parents if you read what i said wrong thats fine. but dont get what i said wrong! i didnt sling any comments around carelessly and did not call anyone an abuser. so please do not sit there and say "well i was abused" like im just stroking a violing chord thats not my point at all and i feel like your belittling what i said? ..

I feel I shouldn't have to explain my comment nor was I said uncalled for. I was just explaining what I felt was wrong with people saying some of the things that they have said on this thread.

 

[overcomer79]

I just have to throw this out and I'm sorry for even relating the two...but people talk about well I was abused as a child so therefore swatting on the bottom is abuse in my eyes...ok fine that's your opinion...

I'm going to be very personal here and just go ahead and say something...I was sexually abused as a child, does that make anyone in my eyes a sexual predator for showing their children affection?..

My answer is no but I dealt with my issues in counselling long before even getting married...

That's what bothers me with some of these abuse comments being slung around carelessly..[/QUOTE
Omg that was so uncalled for. I never said because i was abused people who swat are there for abusers that is not what i said at all!. i was very calm and explained were all good parents if you read what i said wrong thats fine. but dont get what i said wrong! i didnt sling any comments around carelessly and did not call anyone an abuser. so please do not sit there and say "well i was abused" like im just stroking a violing chord thats not my point at all and i feel like your belittling what i said? ..

I feel I shouldn't have to explain my comment nor was I said uncalled for. I was just explaining what I felt was wrong with people saying some of the things that they have said on this thread.

I should have added that it has been IMPLIED maybe not by you but certainly by others...

 

[Dk1234]

I just have to throw this out and I'm sorry for even relating the two...but people talk about well I was abused as a child so therefore swatting on the bottom is abuse in my eyes...ok fine that's your opinion...

I'm going to be very personal here and just go ahead and say something...I was sexually abused as a child, does that make anyone in my eyes a sexual predator for showing their children affection?..

My answer is no but I dealt with my issues in counselling long before even getting married...

That's what bothers me with some of these abuse comments being slung around carelessly..

Omg that was so uncalled for. I never said because i was abused people who swat are there for abusers that is not what i said at all!. i was very calm and explained were all good parents if you read what i said wrong thats fine. but dont get what i said wrong! i didnt sling any comments around carelessly and did not call anyone an abuser. so please do not sit there and say "well i was abused" like im just stroking a violing chord thats not my point at all and i feel like your belittling what i said? ..

I don't think, and hope it wasn't aimed at you. I think what she is saying is that just because some people's parents abused and didn't just simply spank for discipline doesn't make all forms of spanking wrong. It was probably more aimed at Mom and TTC because she made a lot of comments comparint he two and thanked everyone who posted and said their spankings were abuse. No one should belittle abuse, and I truely don't think overcomer was. I made a comment similar to this earlier. Just because some people verbally abuse their children doesn't make it wrong to talk to your children sternly while disciplining. I hope you don't feel belittled. This thread is leaving too many people with hurt feelings.

 

[overcomer79]

I just have to throw this out and I'm sorry for even relating the two...but people talk about well I was abused as a child so therefore swatting on the bottom is abuse in my eyes...ok fine that's your opinion...

I'm going to be very personal here and just go ahead and say something...I was sexually abused as a child, does that make anyone in my eyes a sexual predator for showing their children affection?..

My answer is no but I dealt with my issues in counselling long before even getting married...

That's what bothers me with some of these abuse comments being slung around carelessly..

Omg that was so uncalled for. I never said because i was abused people who swat are there for abusers that is not what i said at all!. i was very calm and explained were all good parents if you read what i said wrong thats fine. but dont get what i said wrong! i didnt sling any comments around carelessly and did not call anyone an abuser. so please do not sit there and say "well i was abused" like im just stroking a violing chord thats not my point at all and i feel like your belittling what i said? ..

I don't think, and hope it wasn't aimed at you. I think what she is saying is that just because some people's parents abused and didn't just simply spank for discipline doesn't make all forms of spanking wrong. It was probably more aimed at Mom and TTC because she made a lot of comments comparint he two and thanked everyone who posted and said their spankings were abuse. No one should belittle abuse, and I truely don't think overcomer was. I made a comment similar to this earlier. Just because some people verbally abuse their children doesn't make it wrong to talk to your children sternly while disciplining. I hope you don't feel belittled. This thread is leaving too many people with hurt feelings.

Yes, DK...thank you! I am not queen of words.

 

[aliss]

I just look at the world now days, and its only been in the last few decades that smacking and even corporal punishment has been done away with, as well as the justice systems all going the same way, and look at the world!!! Murders and rapes and pedofiles all on the up and up!.

Sorry, but actual crime statistics tend to reflect the opposite.

Back in the day if you were molested, you were told to keep your mouth shut. So yes, of course people know more about pedophiles today. The internet doesn't help either. Mass media and all.

 

[MommaAlexis]

we do not need to share your views to be good mothers


I say this in my signature, and I say it again.

 

[overcomer79]

we do not need to share your views to be good mothers

oooooooooookkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk............

 

[tu123]

I just have to throw this out and I'm sorry for even relating the two...but people talk about well I was abused as a child so therefore swatting on the bottom is abuse in my eyes...ok fine that's your opinion...

I'm going to be very personal here and just go ahead and say something...I was sexually abused as a child, does that make anyone in my eyes a sexual predator for showing their children affection?..

My answer is no but I dealt with my issues in counselling long before even getting married...

That's what bothers me with some of these abuse comments being slung around carelessly..

I wouldnt take the comments so personally. I was one person who said that because i was abused i couldnt touch my daughter in that way. It is just my experience. Does that mean i think people who spank their kids are abusers? No.

Plenty of people who have been abused can go on to be abusers just as plenty who would never harm their child. Just as children of alcoholics will fall foul or never drink a drop due to their experiences.

None of this si about abuse though.

What the OP did was out of fright and fear-totally normal reaction.

But i will ask again (as no one answered before) aside incidences like the OP-when does a swat become an issue of the parent losing patience and control rather than discipline? I am asking because i see it as a fine line and i am sure i will be tested too!

 

[Dk1234]

I just look at the world now days, and its only been in the last few decades that smacking and even corporal punishment has been done away with, as well as the justice systems all going the same way, and look at the world!!! Murders and rapes and pedofiles all on the up and up!.

Sorry, but actual crime statistics tend to reflect the opposite.

Back in the day if you were molested, you were told to keep your mouth shut. So yes, of course people know more about pedophiles today. The internet doesn't help either. Mass media and all.

Are the statistics really not in favor of this? I am shocked? The world seems so much worse now a days.

 

[MommaAlexis]

People here are bolding that spanking is abuse, people who spanks are bad parents, calling each other idiots.. Someone needs to say it!

 

[aliss]

I just look at the world now days, and its only been in the last few decades that smacking and even corporal punishment has been done away with, as well as the justice systems all going the same way, and look at the world!!! Murders and rapes and pedofiles all on the up and up!.

Sorry, but actual crime statistics tend to reflect the opposite.

Back in the day if you were molested, you were told to keep your mouth shut. So yes, of course people know more about pedophiles today. The internet doesn't help either. Mass media and all.

Are the statistics really not in favor of this? I am shocked? The world seems so much worse now a days.

In the US and Canada at least, violent crime rates have been declining for many years - they only appear to be rising due to the spread of media/social media/mass media.

As for molestation, it's a hard subject because it is only the recent couple of decades that a victim has been encouraged to come forward. Our parent's generation and especially grandparent's or older, were told not to air their "dirty laundry" or ruin reputations by coming forward...

That, and one of the primary methods distributing child pornography is brand new (the internet) so it remains to be seen how this can be compared in the past.

 

[overcomer79]

People here are bolding that spanking is abuse, people who spanks are bad parents, calling each other idiots.. Someone needs to say it!

I think that has been said plenty...hence why many of us are so defensive about being called bad parents...

 

[Kizzy454]

This thread is getting out of order the OP was asking a question and some people have said some extremely horrible comments. I don't agree that a tap or swat is abuse. This is my opinion. Many people have different opinions but this thread has got very out of hand and needs to either be closed or deleted. I don't agree with people saying that if u have previously given ur child a slap on the wrist ur a child abuser or a bad parent and no body on here has the right to say that about another member as they DO NOT know anything about these people or there home life.

 

[tu123]

I just look at the world now days, and its only been in the last few decades that smacking and even corporal punishment has been done away with, as well as the justice systems all going the same way, and look at the world!!! Murders and rapes and pedofiles all on the up and up!.

Sorry, but actual crime statistics tend to reflect the opposite.

Back in the day if you were molested, you were told to keep your mouth shut. So yes, of course people know more about pedophiles today. The internet doesn't help either. Mass media and all.

Are the statistics really not in favor of this? I am shocked? The world seems so much worse now a days.

It is true. The behaviour of many kids these days is not just down to discipline. It is so complex now. Sadly, the decrease in the community environment has made things worse. No one looks out for people anymore-neighbours are like strangers.

 

[MommaAlexis]

People here are bolding that spanking is abuse, people who spanks are bad parents, calling each other idiots.. Someone needs to say it!

I think that has been said plenty...hence why many of us are so defensive about being called bad parents...

I meant say that We do not need to share your beliefs to be good parents.
It seems many people have ignored this fact, look for if that person spanks then attacks them. I'll take up five pages to say it if need be, We don't need to share your opinions to be good parents!

 

[chell5544]

I just look at the world now days, and its only been in the last few decades that smacking and even corporal punishment has been done away with, as well as the justice systems all going the same way, and look at the world!!! Murders and rapes and pedofiles all on the up and up!.

Sorry, but actual crime statistics tend to reflect the opposite.

Back in the day if you were molested, you were told to keep your mouth shut. So yes, of course people know more about pedophiles today. The internet doesn't help either. Mass media and all.

Are the statistics really not in favor of this? I am shocked? The world seems so much worse now a days.

I am shocked too i agree about the peodos and computers but would love to know the statistics of young affenders and the serious nature of thier crimes wheather that is on the up because from my point of view and what i see in the world it is

 

[youngwife20]

I just have to throw this out and I'm sorry for even relating the two...but people talk about well I was abused as a child so therefore swatting on the bottom is abuse in my eyes...ok fine that's your opinion...

I'm going to be very personal here and just go ahead and say something...I was sexually abused as a child, does that make anyone in my eyes a sexual predator for showing their children affection?..

My answer is no but I dealt with my issues in counselling long before even getting married...

That's what bothers me with some of these abuse comments being slung around carelessly..

Omg that was so uncalled for. I never said because i was abused people who swat are there for abusers that is not what i said at all!. i was very calm and explained were all good parents if you read what i said wrong thats fine. but dont get what i said wrong! i didnt sling any comments around carelessly and did not call anyone an abuser. so please do not sit there and say "well i was abused" like im just stroking a violing chord thats not my point at all and i feel like your belittling what i said? ..

Hun-dont take the response personally. I think this was a general comment.

When things get heated words get misread by yourself and other posters. It is like writing in text form-it never comes out the right way!

Thanks hun your right , it wasnt easy sharing what i did, so thats why i kinda got bothered by her seeming like i was just .. i duno nevermind im leaving this post now xx i tried to shed light from another point of view xxxx thanks

 

[hakunamatata]

I just have to throw this out and I'm sorry for even relating the two...but people talk about well I was abused as a child so therefore swatting on the bottom is abuse in my eyes...ok fine that's your opinion...

I'm going to be very personal here and just go ahead and say something...I was sexually abused as a child, does that make anyone in my eyes a sexual predator for showing their children affection?..

My answer is no but I dealt with my issues in counselling long before even getting married...

That's what bothers me with some of these abuse comments being slung around carelessly..

I wouldnt take the comments so personally. I was one person who said that because i was abused i couldnt touch my daughter in that way. It is just my experience. Does that mean i think people who spank their kids are abusers? No.

Plenty of people who have been abused can go on to be abusers just as plenty who would never harm their child. Just as children of alcoholics will fall foul or never drink a drop due to their experiences.

None of this si about abuse though.

What the OP did was out of fright and fear-totally normal reaction.

But i will ask again (as no one answered before) aside incidences like the OP-when does a swat become an issue of the parent losing patience and control rather than discipline? I am asking because i see it as a fine line and i am sure i will be tested too!

I too have asked this, and it has also been ignored.

 

[Bernadine]

Im going to leave this thread after this because I have always felt free to give my opinions in this forum without being judged and this thread has deeply upset me!!!!

I certainly dO NOT nor WILL EVER abuse my children, I am a teacher and definatley do not believe that violence is in any way acceptable towards children.

My eldest child is 5years old and I have smacked her on the bottom only, a handful of times.

Sometimes talking doesnt always work (most of the time it does) but sometimes I feel they need a shock......I never do it hard, it never leaves a mark, but it just puts things into perspective and makes them think about their actions.......especially if the action has been a dangerous one!

Children will NOT be traumatised from a handful of smacked bottoms, they would be traumatised from being punched in the face, kicked in the stomach, starved etc etc.....ABUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am NOT an abusive parent, and I am deeply shocked by the response of some narrow minded people on this tread........

seriously wondeing if it worth even having a baby and bump account........really upset by this, HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT I ABUSE MY CHILDREN??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Smacking someone lightly on the bum and giving someone a blck eye are two dif things!! I'm with you hun!!!

 

[Dk1234]

I just look at the world now days, and its only been in the last few decades that smacking and even corporal punishment has been done away with, as well as the justice systems all going the same way, and look at the world!!! Murders and rapes and pedofiles all on the up and up!.

Sorry, but actual crime statistics tend to reflect the opposite.

Back in the day if you were molested, you were told to keep your mouth shut. So yes, of course people know more about pedophiles today. The internet doesn't help either. Mass media and all.

Are the statistics really not in favor of this? I am shocked? The world seems so much worse now a days.

In the US and Canada at least, violent crime rates have been declining for many years - they only appear to be rising due to the spread of media/social media/mass media.

As for molestation, it's a hard subject because it is only the recent couple of decades that a victim has been encouraged to come forward. Our parent's generation and especially grandparent's or older, were told not to air their "dirty laundry" or ruin reputations by coming forward...

That, and one of the primary methods distributing child pornography is brand new (the internet) so it remains to be seen how this can be compared in the past.

I'm seriously not questioning you, I'm truly interested. Do you have the actual statistics for the US, as compared to say the 50's and maybe other decades when spankings were very common place.