Have u or do u spank your child? Non judgmental thread

[mom and ttc]

i do not call names, i believe strongly in what i say... not name calling at all. just telling the truth and what i believe in

 

[Dk1234]

And if someone is abusing their children, they need to have them taken away and probably need help and counseling because they were probably abused. But we aren't all child abusers here just because we have spanked. How harsh can you get?? Geez. People are going to put their walls up and get defensive if you call them such horrible things! I really feel that these mothers are good parents. How can people be so rude??

yes i do think people who "spank" such a nice name isnt it ... should go to counseling and be supervised

Are you being serious? This is crazy!!! I don't think I will soank but you are really just out of touch.

 

[AllyTiel]

And if someone is abusing their children, they need to have them taken away and probably need help and counseling because they were probably abused. But we aren't all child abusers here just because we have spanked. How harsh can you get?? Geez. People are going to put their walls up and get defensive if you call them such horrible things! I really feel that these mothers are good parents. How can people be so rude??

yes i do think people who "spank" such a nice name isnt it ... should go to counseling and be supervised

I think you should read my post a page back and respond to my experience on it. I did address you.

 

[Pinkie88]

And if someone is abusing their children, they need to have them taken away and probably need help and counseling because they were probably abused. But we aren't all child abusers here just because we have spanked. How harsh can you get?? Geez. People are going to put their walls up and get defensive if you call them such horrible things! I really feel that these mothers are good parents. How can people be so rude??

yes i do think people who "spank" such a nice name isnt it ... should go to counseling and be supervised

You may keep your opinion and post it as much as you would like to. I personally think you are being quite extreme. Do you really think logically about it? Everyone is different and we have all had different lives and experiences. I have said many times I think spanking is wrong but I don't think the mothers who do occasionally are bad people. Are we lashing out at people because of anger? And where is that anger coming from?
It's sad to me to see good people being insulted and hurt. You don't really know them well enough to judge them. Main point repeated: "I made a mistake today and feel awful, I needed some advice and inspiration. Has anyone else had a similar experience?" Non judgmental thread. Please remember.

 

[alaskagrown]

I was spanked. OH was spanked. We both agree we will also be spanking if our child does something totally and completely out-of-bounds.

Ha..and I was not abused! I was probably abusing my parents leading up to my spanking!!

I don't think negatively of parents who spank or don't spank - as long as you can find some means of discipline that works for both you and your child!

 

[Randianne]

And if someone is abusing their children, they need to have them taken away and probably need help and counseling because they were probably abused. But we aren't all child abusers here just because we have spanked. How harsh can you get?? Geez. People are going to put their walls up and get defensive if you call them such horrible things! I really feel that these mothers are good parents. How can people be so rude??

yes i do think people who "spank" such a nice name isnt it ... should go to counseling and be supervised

Based on what? Do you have studies/evidence/etc to back that up? Is there a medical association out there who recommends this particular course of action? Abuse is an extremely serious claim, and if you are going to accuse people of it you better have something to back it up.

 

[overcomer79]

well I'm going to bed. I am sure that by morning because ironically the one doing the name calling and bullying is the one calling people child abusers...THAT'S what I believe in...maybe you can share your "utopian" way to parent with us so maybe use "child abusers won't have to give swats on our toddler's bottoms???

The way you are sound, they are in ICU at death's door. Get some prospective please!

 

[Dk1234]

This thread needs to be closed and I am one usually for a good debate. People cannot go around calling people child abusers. This is highly offensive to me and I've never spanked a child and don't think I will. Then to be so bold as to call their opinion "the truth" as if they have the only opinion that matters.

 

[AllyTiel]

I was spanked. OH was spanked. We both agree we will also be spanking if our child does something totally and completely out-of-bounds.

Ha..and I was not abused! I was probably abusing my parents leading up to my spanking!!

I don't think negatively of parents who spank or don't spank - as long as you can find some means of discipline that works for both you and your child!

This is my experience too. My parents and my hubs parents spanked us calmly as children out of love, with lots of explaining and hugs. Worked great and we will be doing the same.

 

[TheSmpsns]

Wow, interesting conversation going on here. I don't know if I will spank my child. I had the shit beat out of me as a child, I was slammed against walls, went to school with bruises and stitches. I know child abuse.
I however do not think that a simple pop on the tush is abuse. It is a matter of context and how you use it. A pop on the bum can lead to further abuse, and it is about how the parent can control themselves. I fear becoming my father, and having his temper. So for that reason, I may not. But I never know. I would NEVER do what my father did to my brother and I. But a pop on the bum, in my opinion, is not out of the question.

 

[huggiez]

I wanted to post a reply, but am too afraid of being categorized and labeled. We all need to step back and support each other. Everybody is entitled to an opinion, just try not to force yours on others.

 

[hakunamatata]

LOL I never received "calm" spankings as a kid. My mom was out of control. Not saying that everyone's experience was like that, but it was mine.

 

[Pinkie88]

I agree, this may need to be closed. My father in law called me a child abuser because he woke up to my toddler crying when I put her in a one minute time out. My husband was furious that I was treated that way. I was devastated then by the name and am devastated now . No one else needs to be called a child abuser. This needs to end.

 

[mom and ttc]

LOL I never received "calm" spankings as a kid. My mom was out of control. Not saying that everyone's experience was like that, but it was mine.

and spanking out of love ... calm ... why would you hit your kid if you were calm and loving about it ..

it is great. how i have to explain myself for really raising my children loving without hurting them

 

[Dk1234]

Just because some people abuse and hit I stead of discipline with a spanking, doesn't mean everyone does. Just like some parents scream at their kids and are mean and harsh doesn't mean every parent who talks to their child sternly while disciplining is a child abuser. Perspective needed!

 

[Pinkie88]

LOL I never received "calm" spankings as a kid. My mom was out of control. Not saying that everyone's experience was like that, but it was mine.

and spanking out of love ... calm ... why would you hit your kid if you were calm and loving about it ..

it is great. how i have to explain myself for really raising my children loving without hurting them

That's fine but you're calling people child abusers. Do what you want as a parent but that name /label must not be thrown around as it has been today. Anyone who has ever spanked is a child abuser??? I have put my heart soul blood sweat tears and every bit of energy I have into raising my girls. But now that I've made a mistake, im a "child abuser"???

 

[chirizma]

I have yes, and would do so again if its needed

 

[Dk1234]

LOL I never received "calm" spankings as a kid. My mom was out of control. Not saying that everyone's experience was like that, but it was mine.

and spanking out of love ... calm ... why would you hit your kid if you were calm and loving about it ..

it is great. how i have to explain myself for really raising my children loving without hurting them

No one asked you to explain. No one said you needed to spank, no one questioned you. YOU are the one questioning and judging and lumping everyone into one small minded category.

 

[Pinkie88]

I'm the best mother I can be and every day try to be even better. I don't need anyones approval or disapproval to tell me anything different. Just wanted to know if anyone has felt as badly as I did today. I hated myself today and just needed gentle advice.

 

[momto3kiddies]

Its obvious that this thread is out of hand and I knew that it would become that way as soon as I saw the title. Hitting your children is a heated debate, some say it works, some say it doesn't...in this case all you can do is agree to disagree. It may sound hard that she is saying those who hit their kids are child abusers but that is the way she feels and shes entitled to her feelings. Just like those who think hitting their kids is the right way of discipline. At the end of the day we all parent differently and that's that.