Have You Considered This?

[RinnaRoo]

It would suck knowing that I could possibly not have grandchildren in the future, but regardless he's my boy, and I would love and support him.

 

[kiwimama]

I will always love my children no matter what they do. Being gay would probably be very very low on my scale of things they could do that would make me wonder if I would still love them. Killing someone, now that would be hard for me, but being gay is absolutely no big deal to me. I can't say I wouldn't be uncomfortable with it, I think the first time he bought a boyfriend home, I might be uncomfortable but I'd definately not have an issue with it. Not sure how OH would feel, I think a son being gay is harder for a father to deal with than a mother.

 

[andbabymakes3]

TBH, Holly's sexuality is not something I have ever even thought about. As long as I raise her to be a kind, loving, open, accepting and respectful person, beyond that - well, it's her life, all I have ever wanted for her is to be happy. Whatever path she chooses and whatever choices she makes.

 

[Marzipan_girl]

I wouldn't mind at all...even though I'm catholic. Not sure what my parents would say though. FOB said he also wouldn't mind what he is or does--so long as he never becomes a traffic warden

 

[Tegans Mama]

Yes I have considered it, and no I wouldn't be bothered by what Ruby's sexuality may be.

My mum has been with a wonderful female partner since I was 9 years old though so I am hardly likely make an issue of it.

My mum however, did once say she was glad I wasn't gay, because it is 'easier' to be straight. However she is 30 years older than me and things obviously weren't straightforward for her growing up.

Have to say I agree with her wholeheartedly - the most simple things like having a baby are made a million times harder by being gay. It is easier to be straight.

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

It would suck knowing that I could possibly not have grandchildren in the future, but regardless he's my boy, and I would love and support him.

I think that's always a possibility though isn't it really. You just never know.

 

[PepsiChic]

i wouldnt have a problem with it! my dad would, sadly he is homophobic, but he was brought up in a large strict old style family way of life and is stuck to that in some ways.

my husband might have an issue with it at first he'd probably think he didnt do another manly things with him or something or say i was too soft on him lol

but he'd get over it and love him regardlss i know it.

 

[meldmac]

I love this thread! I think my family might have a problem but personally I wouldn't, I'll love my boy no matter what.

 

[Foogirl]

My mum however, did once say she was glad I wasn't gay, because it is 'easier' to be straight. However she is 30 years older than me and things obviously weren't straightforward for her growing up.

I think this is the only thing I would be bothered about. It would make me very sad to think of what she would have to face in her life. We've come a long way, but not long enough IMO.

 

[WW1]

My mum however, did once say she was glad I wasn't gay, because it is 'easier' to be straight. However she is 30 years older than me and things obviously weren't straightforward for her growing up.

I think this is the only thing I would be bothered about. It would make me very sad to think of what she would have to face in her life. We've come a long way, but not long enough IMO.

I agree with this as well. My sister is gay and it's been far easier for me and my relationships than it has for her. My parents have been great about it all but sadly there is still homophobia out there. It is decreasing generation by generation but it remains.

Of course, if LO is gay, she'll have her aunties to guide her which will no doubt help her lots

 

[Seity]

I'm bisexual, so it wouldn't bother me in the least if he was straight, homosexual, or bisexual.
If he was gay, there's no reason he couldn't adopt a child and then I would have a grandchild.

 

[PeaceLoveBaby]

like many here, it wouldn't bother me at all

 

[loopy_lou]

honestly as long as she's happy I could not give a hoot gay, straight, bi or even as a Harry I would support her

 

[suzanne108]

I'm a man hater so she better be a lesbian or she's in big trouble!

In all honesty, as long as she's happy I couldn't give a rats ass!

 

[sandrass]

I don't think sexuality is really a choice, I think you are either heterosexual, bisexual or homosexual. Its just in your DNA! So, whichever way Alessa turns out to be is fine with me! I have no issues with it I just hope one day she will find someone she loves and cares for to spend her life with, whether it be man or woman.

(I am bisexual btw)

 

[CMIL]

First and foremost I want my son to be happy. I didn't have a child to dictate to them how they should live their life and what they should do with it.

Having said that, I would be very disappointed that I potentially wouldn't have grandchildren (though that would be lessened if I had other children and therefore other sources for them!) and I know people are saying 'it doesn't automatically mean you won't have grandchildren' but I am not 100% sure how I feel about that set up. My opinion isn't set in stone but I do feel a child should be brought up with a male and female ideally. Nature has designed for it to be that way and there must be a reason for that. I fully understand people saying that surely two loving parents of the same sex are better than one parent or two parents of opposing sex who neglect a child and I can't argue with that but it just doesn't sit 100% right inside.

Also as someone else said, I would worry. I cant say like other people that I wouldn't bat an eyelid because life right now IS harder for non-hetero people. I would worry what stigma they might come up against and that they would constantly feel the need to explain themselves (i.e. come out). Like an old boss of mine, when he gave me the job he took me into town and felt the need to be honest and let me know he was gay. To this day I find it odd that he felt he had to do that because I didn't give two hoots but I would worry that my son felt he had to do the same. Lets hope in 15 or 20 years its not like that anymore.

My parents are homophobic (I find it somewhat difficult to judge them because my Dad suffered greatly when he was put in a home as a child with several gay men only. Something very negative clearly happened to him from what I can pick up but its certainly not up for discussion) and so I have grown up around severe negativity towards homosexual people and I am proud that for the most part I have rallied against that myself and made up my own mind. Its very hard to not to be ingrained by your parents opinions and I don't want to do that to my son.

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

CMIL, I am so sorry that your father suffered as a child. But I'd just like to point out that abuse has nothing to do with the abuser's sexuality. Anyone can be an abuser, gay or straight, male or female, black or white.

In my situation growing up in a household with my mum and her female partner, it certainly wasn't a good experience just because it was 'better than two parents of the opposing sex who neglect a child'.

My upbringing was loving, caring, safe, taught me to be open minded and non judgemental. The way these two women brought me up and cared for me and still do now, is no different and no less beneficial than being part of a nuclear family with happy and supportive male / female parents.

Anyway. Just wanted to say that.

 

[redpoppy]

CMIL thanks for you post as it's very interesting. I do understand the idea that it is, in this society and probably still in another however many years along, tougher to be gay/lesbian than straight. But it's tougher to be black than white, and I would think female than male. And although in an ideal world perhaps I'd want all my children to be white alpha males I know that's not going to happen and realistically and they'd probably drive me crazy if they were. (As well as it being totally impossible and probably a little dull with so little diversity!)

Our children will all be individuals and they can not control certain aspects of themselves and sexuality is one of those things. If your child is gay then he will just be gay, and it would be nicer if he didn't get picked on at school or get abused in the streets or get looked down upon by a certain portion of society as deranged, perverted or an abomination etc. but sadly that's just how it is.

As for the male and female influences, I am a HUGE believer in that and I do think that nature is made that way for a reason. BUT having been brought up pretty much single-handedly by my amazing mother and having a mostly useless father but having the influence of my nan in my life to a great degree I think I've come out quite well. My dad wasn't around for YEARS at a time and there are MANY MANY single mums out there and although nature intended for a man and a woman to make a baby the stats suggest nature obviously didn't intend for men to always stick around that long afterwards as they seem to be busy "spreading their seed" many times. There are a vast number of single mums who do an amazing job raising children and although there is a part of me that worries about children being raised without a female and maternal influence in their lives (as I believe nature intended) I do think my own experience of an amazing mum and useless for the most part dad has coloured that opinion. I'm sure there are people on here with amazing dads and useless mums who may disagree with me.

I am terribly sorry for your dad's experiences and understand how that would colour opinion mixed with how times were different and societal views have changed. But to hold a whole section of society responsible for a tiny teeny minority's actions is obviously not right. However I can understand how abuse can prevent clear thinking on such issues.

 

[Buffy71]

My nephew came out when he was 19. Made no difference to me - my father (his grandfather) found it difficult, but I think that's generational.

If H tells me in the future I will be sad, but only because it will make her life more difficult, as we still live in a homophobic society, and because that might mean that she does not have the opportunity to have her own child, which as we all know now, is the most amazing and fulfilling experience available to humankind.

Ooh I'm filling up!!
xx

 

[mumtobrandon]

Wouldn't bother me at all, the gay people I know are actually really lovely people and so fun to be around. I also think it would be rather hypocritical, as like quite a few on here I am bisexual and all my family know and just accept that's who I am and it doesn't change anything else about me. x