'Having a baby IS a job'

[JessyG]

is it bad that I cannot wait for yhe day where I can go to work (in the daytime) sit at my desk, chat about the weekend and get a warm coffee before firing up my computer and dealing with my emails that are specifically for me. I miss it lots, I never ever thought having children would mean I actually cannot afford to go to work but thats ehat happened. instead just as OH is getting home from work I am going out. I sometimes wonder if the children even realise there mum and dad are together as were rarely seen in the same room. anyway I loveeee being at home with my kids. love love love it, I just really wish I could do both or at least have the option. it wont be forever though I know that, I will get to work in the day when there at school and I bet il look back and wish I could do it all again

We are the same, ships that pass in the night. Not one day off today in the week unless we are on holiday. It sucks and we are trying to change that but it'll mean we have more childcare cost but Imo it will be worth it to have some family time.

Oh and if it makes you feel any better, I work in an office and still rarely get to finish a warm cup of tea!

 

[BabyMamma93]

im so glad this hasnt turned into a heated debate, when i saw it on my CP the other day with 6 pages after just a few hour i was dreading opening it, but i like the calmness in here

although i think again some people have took it the wrong way, im not saying anything about stay at home parents, or people, like myself, on benefits, or child care, i was simply asking if you define parenting as a job, it doesnt matter whether you go to work or stay at home, is it a job in your opinion?

i agree with what a PP said 'a job is something that starts and finishes, some thing you get a wage from' yes it is hard work being a parent but IMO still not a job..

thanks for you input though guys nice to know peoples opinions

 

[Rhio92]

Parenting is not a job. It's parenting.

There is nothing more irritating than someone who has 'full time mummy' on their Facebook profile.

 

[smileyfaces]

No, it is not a job. It is a responsibility.

Looking after your own kids isnt a job (IMO) just the same as cleaning your house doesnt make you a cleaner, and cooking dinner doesnt make you a chef...

 

[Tasha]

I really think people say full time mummy because it does take all your time. I know that you all will get that but society doesn't really, the sitting on your butt is what is often thought. Plus you often get comments like oh you're *just* a mum. I guess what I mean it is belittled. Full Time (to me) implies it takes up all of your time.

 

[Tasha]

As for the original question, I don't define myself as a full time mum and I don't feel it is my job but it doesn't bother me in the slightest if someone else does. I'm trying to think what the registrar put on Orion's birth certificate but I have a feeling it was something to do with being a mum in the occupation part

 

[BabyMamma93]

my OH is a SAHD but on M birth certificate it says 'labourer' under occupation, although he isnt employed atm, thats what he was employed in.

yes being a mum does take all your time, whether or not you work.. thats what annoys me, just because i work am i not a full time mum? like i stop being a mum when i come into the office? your a better mum because your full time (not aiming that at anyone here, this is why i made the thread) and im only 'part time' i do joke with my OH that he is the better parent because hes home with M but thats bcos he doesnt like when i say that as it makes me sound crappy, i am a full time mum, but im also a part time admin assistant, ill always be a mum but my job is to come to work and earn money!

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

my OH is a SAHD but on M birth certificate it says 'labourer' under occupation, although he isnt employed atm, thats what he was employed in.

yes being a mum does take all your time, whether or not you work.. thats what annoys me, just because i work am i not a full time mum? like i stop being a mum when i come into the office? your a better mum because your full time (not aiming that at anyone here, this is why i made the thread) and im only 'part time' i do joke with my OH that he is the better parent because hes home with M but thats bcos he doesnt like when i say that as it makes me sound crappy, i am a full time mum, but im also a part time admin assistant, ill always be a mum but my job is to come to work and earn money!

My OH is a SAHD too Do you find people make comments about it? Friends and family are always going in about him getting a job and I find it so frustrating. Like If was was a SAHM and he went to work I don't think anyone would bat an eyelid x

 

[BabyMamma93]

my OH is a SAHD but on M birth certificate it says 'labourer' under occupation, although he isnt employed atm, thats what he was employed in.

yes being a mum does take all your time, whether or not you work.. thats what annoys me, just because i work am i not a full time mum? like i stop being a mum when i come into the office? your a better mum because your full time (not aiming that at anyone here, this is why i made the thread) and im only 'part time' i do joke with my OH that he is the better parent because hes home with M but thats bcos he doesnt like when i say that as it makes me sound crappy, i am a full time mum, but im also a part time admin assistant, ill always be a mum but my job is to come to work and earn money!

My OH is a SAHD too Do you find people make comments about it? Friends and family are always going in about him getting a job and I find it so frustrating. Like If was was a SAHM and he went to work I don't think anyone would bat an eyelid x

i have endless arguments/ heated words with people about this, my parents/grandparents always mention about him not having a job, i mean no he didnt have a job before M either, for medical reasons that people dont seem to believe, he has to go to work programme things and they tell him he needs to get a job. so i wonder, if i was a SAHM would they all go on and on about me been a jobless bum? probably not because im a woman, women should stay home and look after LO, cook, clean, wash clothes, iron. HA i think not!!
the resason we did things as they are;

my OH was activley looking for a job before i fell on, when we found out we decided, there is no point me quitting a job i already have for him to look for a job which is very difficult, it just makes no sense??

 

[BabyMamma93]

annoys me how people think women should be these perfect little house wives while the male brings home the bacon? no thanks, i like my bacon just fine

 

[loeylo]

my OH is a SAHD but on M birth certificate it says 'labourer' under occupation, although he isnt employed atm, thats what he was employed in.

yes being a mum does take all your time, whether or not you work.. thats what annoys me, just because i work am i not a full time mum? like i stop being a mum when i come into the office? your a better mum because your full time (not aiming that at anyone here, this is why i made the thread) and im only 'part time' i do joke with my OH that he is the better parent because hes home with M but thats bcos he doesnt like when i say that as it makes me sound crappy, i am a full time mum, but im also a part time admin assistant, ill always be a mum but my job is to come to work and earn money!

My OH is a SAHD too Do you find people make comments about it? Friends and family are always going in about him getting a job and I find it so frustrating. Like If was was a SAHM and he went to work I don't think anyone would bat an eyelid x

My oh was going to be a sahd until recently as it made much more financial sense for us, plus he hated his job and I loved mines. Hats off to your men, ladies! The amount of stick my oh got was ridiculous - now it looks as though he is keeping his job because of the comments, when in actual fact it is because he got a significant pay rise/promotion, and I am still on short term teaching contracts so it is easier for us both to cut hours rather than one of us.

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

It's ridiculous the amount of stick they get isn't it x

 

[loeylo]

Yes - tbh I got a lot of stick too, for "forcing" him to stay at home with a baby whilst I went to work. I just don't like the assumption that parenting should be done mainly by the mother, my mum and dad both raised me equally and it didn't do me any harm (although I guess it could cause a lot of conflict if I had met a "traditional" man who wanted a wife to cook, clean and look after the kids!)

 

[Rhi_Rhi1]

I am not a stay at home mum. I am a domestic engineer

 

[tinkerbelle93]

I think it can depend on the situation and number of children and their ages.

At the minute I'm not employed, I have one child who is 3 and a half so is quite independent, sleeps through the night and goes to nursery every afternoon so what I do is just soo much easier than my husband who goes to work full time!

But maybe if I had 2 toddlers plus a baby and was up all night on top of juggling them during the day then I would feel me and DH worked equally hard?

I know someone who does not work and has the 'I'm a fulltime mummy' thing on her facebook despite her youngest child being 10 and at school which made me roll my eyes a bit haha x

 

[Tasha]

Just got home and looked at his birth certificate. It is a legitimate occupation

https://i723.photobucket.com/albums/ww235/Tasha_Adams/Mobile%20Uploads/image_zpsapnryarv.jpg

 

[Tasha]

Btw I have to say when she asked me my occupation I said I don't have one.

 

[katherinegrey]

When I registered my first child she asked for my occupation and I said I didn't have one, she put her pen down and said 'are you the one at home caring for this precious baby?' I said yes and she said 'then I'm quite sure you do have an occupation dear, it just happens to be full time mother and I'm sure you work very hard and I think you should give yourself some more credit'

 

[Pearls18]

Lloyds Bank marked me down as homemaker when I was in between jobs, HATED that, not sure why, probs as it's so old fashioned I would have preferred SAHM. You can put what you like down on a birth certificate even if it's a job you're not doing anymore if you feel that was your profession.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Childcare for secondary age children is really hard. My son is 11 on Thursday and many of the school clubs and holiday clubs are up to age 11. There are a few things that go older but not regular and vary hours. He would hate going to them loads too. I guess he wouldnt have a choice, but still. As they get older they are kinda expected to me noremore independent. I have no idea what I would do with him if I wasnt working term time only? (He can go to clubs at the local SEN school but he feels he stands out too much and can not cope at them at all because he doesnt feel disabled-his words...) so many parents of secondary and college age children I know have had to leave work because of the lack of provision. Im just glad we have got this far and it has worked out.