'Having a baby IS a job'

[Midnight_Fairy]

But I realise this is about 'babies'. Personally I find it harder now to juggle about then when they were younger and more flexible x

 

[Pearls18]

But I realise this is about 'babies'. Personally I find it harder now to juggle about then when they were younger and more flexible x

I can understand that, I think nursery is much more straight forward than school, I really don't know how we are going to manage to shorter days and holidays, I guess I will always be paying childcare (like you say I bet they get more reluctant when older though!)

 

[Snow Owl]

i agree with what a PP said 'a job is something that starts and finishes, some thing you get a wage from' yes it is hard work being a parent but IMO still not a job..

thanks for you input though guys nice to know peoples opinions

Not necessarily. Many jobs do not start or finish.

I'm a self employed property manager and so am 'working' 24 hours a day as I'm basically on call constantly.

 

[notsotrivial]

No it's not a job, it's a choice. Would love to be a SAHM but right now I don't have that luxury.

 

[Wriggley]

I've recently become a single mum and I don't class it as a job! I have a 2 year old and a 4 year old and am currently applying for jobs. Atm I do volunteer work in a shop.

But yeah I don't class having children and staying at home a full time job :/

 

[lynh]

It's not a job. Having a job is to make money for your family to live. To raise a kid is something natural because you gave him birth. Animals raise their babies but we can't say that they have a job

 

[BabyMamma93]

i keep seeing people say 'why do we have to define people' i never made this thread to define anyone, just to see what peoples opinions were, whether people agreed that its not a 'job' or whether people say it is, i was also making no judgement on single or stay at home parents, i was asking ONLY if people see parenting as a job, regardles of relationship/occupation status, my OH is SAHD but he doesn't say parenting is his job, its his role, a privileged. Just like watching your own kids is not babysitting..

 

[katherinegrey]

Just out of curiousity then, when people ask your OH what he does, what does he answer? Does he say he's unemployed? Or does he class his current position and role as a SAHD?

I notice you've previously said he gets stick for not having a financial role in your family, yet he can't find paid employment because of his role as a SAHD, surely if it's not a job he can go and get one that pays?

If it's a job then surely he is justified in staying in his current position, even if that position is supporting your family from home?

I work hard for my family. Work. Scrubbing poop and vomit out of clothing with no one to share these chores doesn't feel like much of a privilege I can tell you. Being here for my children always does, but is your pay your 'privilege' then?

I know other mums get the same hard bits too, but I hope in a family where both parents work these bits are shared.

We get different rewards for our work and support our families in different ways.

I think we should all respect however we define our own roles. I think I work hard, you all work hard too, different roles, different families, different ways.

All women debating about the correct way to say it, when the correct way is your way.

 

[Pearls18]

Just out of curiousity then, when people ask your OH what he does, what does he answer? Does he say he's unemployed? Or does he class his current position and role as a SAHD?

I notice you've previously said he gets stick for not having a financial role in your family, yet he can't find paid employment because of his role as a SAHD, surely if it's not a job he can go and get one that pays?

If it's a job then surely he is justified in staying in his current position, even if that position is supporting your family from home?

I work hard for my family. Work. Scrubbing poop and vomit out of clothing with no one to share these chores doesn't feel like much of a privilege I can tell you. Being here for my children always does, but is your pay your 'privilege' then?

I know other mums get the same hard bits too, but I hope in a family where both parents work these bits are shared.

We get different rewards for our work and support our families in different ways.

I think we should all respect however we define our own roles. I think I work hard, you all work hard too, different roles, different families, different ways.

All women debating about the correct way to say it, when the correct way is your way.

Just out on interest (not debating!) so if working parents share the home bits (we do) and you class being SAHM as a job (which I don't disagree with, only we ourselves can label what we do!) when your husband is home do you class that as the end of your sole responsibility and will he then split it when you're both home iykwim? I think SAHMs often get the raw end of the deal as it seems in a lot of families they will do everything 24/7, which, labels aside I think is unfair.

 

[katherinegrey]

Just out of curiousity then, when people ask your OH what he does, what does he answer? Does he say he's unemployed? Or does he class his current position and role as a SAHD?

I notice you've previously said he gets stick for not having a financial role in your family, yet he can't find paid employment because of his role as a SAHD, surely if it's not a job he can go and get one that pays?

If it's a job then surely he is justified in staying in his current position, even if that position is supporting your family from home?

I work hard for my family. Work. Scrubbing poop and vomit out of clothing with no one to share these chores doesn't feel like much of a privilege I can tell you. Being here for my children always does, but is your pay your 'privilege' then?

I know other mums get the same hard bits too, but I hope in a family where both parents work these bits are shared.

We get different rewards for our work and support our families in different ways.

I think we should all respect however we define our own roles. I think I work hard, you all work hard too, different roles, different families, different ways.

All women debating about the correct way to say it, when the correct way is your way.

Just out on interest (not debating!) so if working parents share the home bits (we do) and you class being SAHM as a job (which I don't disagree with, only we ourselves can label what we do!) when your husband is home do you class that as the end of your sole responsibility and will he then split it when you're both home iykwim? I think SAHMs often get the raw end of the deal as it seems in a lot of families they will do everything 24/7, which, labels aside I think is unfair.

Well, my husband works very long hours in the week, then has assignments for further qualifications and presentations for meetings so in the week 99% of the childcare and housework is done by me. He usually works Saturday's and occasionally Sunday's so then it's me too.

His company is currently on a three week shut down and he has been doing more. However, all laundry is still my job (with a reflux baby with stomach problems this is no small task!), all food shopping and cooking is still my job, making beds and scrubbing toilets is still my job, arranging medical appointments is still my job, but it is more evenly split when he's not working. He will get up in the night (when I kick him ) and washes up once a day and will help me tidy up and entertain the children.

He doesn't do nothing at all, but he does as much as he wants to do and no more, it's not his responsibility and any help he gives is just greatly appreciated.

That's just how it works in our family though

 

[Pearls18]

Just out of curiousity then, when people ask your OH what he does, what does he answer? Does he say he's unemployed? Or does he class his current position and role as a SAHD?

I notice you've previously said he gets stick for not having a financial role in your family, yet he can't find paid employment because of his role as a SAHD, surely if it's not a job he can go and get one that pays?

If it's a job then surely he is justified in staying in his current position, even if that position is supporting your family from home?

I work hard for my family. Work. Scrubbing poop and vomit out of clothing with no one to share these chores doesn't feel like much of a privilege I can tell you. Being here for my children always does, but is your pay your 'privilege' then?

I know other mums get the same hard bits too, but I hope in a family where both parents work these bits are shared.

We get different rewards for our work and support our families in different ways.

I think we should all respect however we define our own roles. I think I work hard, you all work hard too, different roles, different families, different ways.

All women debating about the correct way to say it, when the correct way is your way.

Just out on interest (not debating!) so if working parents share the home bits (we do) and you class being SAHM as a job (which I don't disagree with, only we ourselves can label what we do!) when your husband is home do you class that as the end of your sole responsibility and will he then split it when you're both home iykwim? I think SAHMs often get the raw end of the deal as it seems in a lot of families they will do everything 24/7, which, labels aside I think is unfair.

Well, my husband works very long hours in the week, then has assignments for further qualifications and presentations for meetings so in the week 99% of the childcare and housework is done by me. He usually works Saturday's and occasionally Sunday's so then it's me too.

His company is currently on a three week shut down and he has been doing more. However, all laundry is still my job (with a reflux baby with stomach problems this is no small task!), all food shopping and cooking is still my job, making beds and scrubbing toilets is still my job, arranging medical appointments is still my job, but it is more evenly split when he's not working. He will get up in the night (when I kick him ) and washes up once a day and will help me tidy up and entertain the children.

He doesn't do nothing at all, but he does as much as he wants to do and no more, it's not his responsibility and any help he gives is just greatly appreciated.

That's just how it works in our family though

I guess so long as you are happy and he appreciates it then that's all that matters

Edited to add: that was written with sincerity, reading it back it sounds patronising and I don't mean it like that!

 

[Quartz]

Strictly speaking its not a job (definition wise as it involves payment) but also because a job should be something that you should be able to change, leave and get a holiday from none of which you get with children. I could see it more as a vocation but really its a lifestyle choice (an amazing one).

I also think full time mother really relates to everyone regardless of whether they are a SAHM or a full time worker you are still a full time mum.

That said every family/couple has the right to decide how they wish for it to be and what they can afford (childcare is very prohibtive) for the best

 

[katherinegrey]

Just out of curiousity then, when people ask your OH what he does, what does he answer? Does he say he's unemployed? Or does he class his current position and role as a SAHD?

I notice you've previously said he gets stick for not having a financial role in your family, yet he can't find paid employment because of his role as a SAHD, surely if it's not a job he can go and get one that pays?

If it's a job then surely he is justified in staying in his current position, even if that position is supporting your family from home?

I work hard for my family. Work. Scrubbing poop and vomit out of clothing with no one to share these chores doesn't feel like much of a privilege I can tell you. Being here for my children always does, but is your pay your 'privilege' then?

I know other mums get the same hard bits too, but I hope in a family where both parents work these bits are shared.

We get different rewards for our work and support our families in different ways.

I think we should all respect however we define our own roles. I think I work hard, you all work hard too, different roles, different families, different ways.

All women debating about the correct way to say it, when the correct way is your way.

Just out on interest (not debating!) so if working parents share the home bits (we do) and you class being SAHM as a job (which I don't disagree with, only we ourselves can label what we do!) when your husband is home do you class that as the end of your sole responsibility and will he then split it when you're both home iykwim? I think SAHMs often get the raw end of the deal as it seems in a lot of families they will do everything 24/7, which, labels aside I think is unfair.

Well, my husband works very long hours in the week, then has assignments for further qualifications and presentations for meetings so in the week 99% of the childcare and housework is done by me. He usually works Saturday's and occasionally Sunday's so then it's me too.

His company is currently on a three week shut down and he has been doing more. However, all laundry is still my job (with a reflux baby with stomach problems this is no small task!), all food shopping and cooking is still my job, making beds and scrubbing toilets is still my job, arranging medical appointments is still my job, but it is more evenly split when he's not working. He will get up in the night (when I kick him ) and washes up once a day and will help me tidy up and entertain the children.

He doesn't do nothing at all, but he does as much as he wants to do and no more, it's not his responsibility and any help he gives is just greatly appreciated.

That's just how it works in our family though

I guess so long as you are happy and he appreciates it then that's all that matters

Edited to add: that was written with sincerity, reading it back it sounds patronising and I don't mean it like that!

Don't worry I read in sincerely
He does, I appreciate that the full financial burden of running our family falls on him and he appreciates all I do. He frequently says 'I could never do what you do! You have the patience of a saint'

 

[BabyMamma93]

Just out of curiousity then, when people ask your OH what he does, what does he answer? Does he say he's unemployed? Or does he class his current position and role as a SAHD?

I notice you've previously said he gets stick for not having a financial role in your family, yet he can't find paid employment because of his role as a SAHD, surely if it's not a job he can go and get one that pays?

If it's a job then surely he is justified in staying in his current position, even if that position is supporting your family from home?

I work hard for my family. Work. Scrubbing poop and vomit out of clothing with no one to share these chores doesn't feel like much of a privilege I can tell you. Being here for my children always does, but is your pay your 'privilege' then?

I know other mums get the same hard bits too, but I hope in a family where both parents work these bits are shared.

We get different rewards for our work and support our families in different ways.

I think we should all respect however we define our own roles. I think I work hard, you all work hard too, different roles, different families, different ways.

All women debating about the correct way to say it, when the correct way is your way.

he says he is un employed, when they ask why he says because he has been unable to work due to health reasons and is now dedicating his time to our child, & yes he probably could go and get a job (well not atm with a broken hand and possible hip surgery) but i dont see the point in having a child and a family when one parent does 99% of the parenting, so he stays home and i work part time, so we both get to spend time with and bring up our LO.
i also work hard for my family, i work & i go home to my family, not home to my second job, but just because i work hard doesn't mean im doing it as a job, im doing it because that's why we have children, to do these things.

and lastly i do respect what other parents call their role as a parent, i was only asking whether people do call it a job, or if they dont, i wasnt slating anyone, or stepping on any ones toes saying anything i was just asking and giving my opinion, like others have

 

[Pearls18]

Just out of curiousity then, when people ask your OH what he does, what does he answer? Does he say he's unemployed? Or does he class his current position and role as a SAHD?

I notice you've previously said he gets stick for not having a financial role in your family, yet he can't find paid employment because of his role as a SAHD, surely if it's not a job he can go and get one that pays?

If it's a job then surely he is justified in staying in his current position, even if that position is supporting your family from home?

I work hard for my family. Work. Scrubbing poop and vomit out of clothing with no one to share these chores doesn't feel like much of a privilege I can tell you. Being here for my children always does, but is your pay your 'privilege' then?

I know other mums get the same hard bits too, but I hope in a family where both parents work these bits are shared.

We get different rewards for our work and support our families in different ways.

I think we should all respect however we define our own roles. I think I work hard, you all work hard too, different roles, different families, different ways.

All women debating about the correct way to say it, when the correct way is your way.

he says he is un employed, when they ask why he says because he has been unable to work due to health reasons and is now dedicating his time to our child, & yes he probably could go and get a job (well not atm with a broken hand and possible hip surgery) but i dont see the point in having a child and a family when one parent does 99% of the parenting, so he stays home and i work part time, so we both get to spend time with and bring up our LO.
i also work hard for my family, i work & i go home to my family, not home to my second job, but just because i work hard doesn't mean im doing it as a job, im doing it because that's why we have children, to do these things.

and lastly i do respect what other parents call their role as a parent, i was only asking whether people do call it a job, or if they dont, i wasnt slating anyone, or stepping on any ones toes saying anything i was just asking and giving my opinion, like others have

To be fair not many people will have the luxury of one parent not working and another only working part time so I think it's a bit unfair for you to go as far to say why have children when one parent does 99% of the parenting, I think we should just all keep our judgements on other families to ourselves and just concentrate on our own.

 

[catty]

Just out of curiousity then, when people ask your OH what he does, what does he answer? Does he say he's unemployed? Or does he class his current position and role as a SAHD?

I notice you've previously said he gets stick for not having a financial role in your family, yet he can't find paid employment because of his role as a SAHD, surely if it's not a job he can go and get one that pays?

If it's a job then surely he is justified in staying in his current position, even if that position is supporting your family from home?

I work hard for my family. Work. Scrubbing poop and vomit out of clothing with no one to share these chores doesn't feel like much of a privilege I can tell you. Being here for my children always does, but is your pay your 'privilege' then?

I know other mums get the same hard bits too, but I hope in a family where both parents work these bits are shared.

We get different rewards for our work and support our families in different ways.

I think we should all respect however we define our own roles. I think I work hard, you all work hard too, different roles, different families, different ways.

All women debating about the correct way to say it, when the correct way is your way.

he says he is un employed, when they ask why he says because he has been unable to work due to health reasons and is now dedicating his time to our child, & yes he probably could go and get a job (well not atm with a broken hand and possible hip surgery) but i dont see the point in having a child and a family when one parent does 99% of the parenting, so he stays home and i work part time, so we both get to spend time with and bring up our LO.
i also work hard for my family, i work & i go home to my family, not home to my second job, but just because i work hard doesn't mean im doing it as a job, im doing it because that's why we have children, to do these things.

and lastly i do respect what other parents call their role as a parent, i was only asking whether people do call it a job, or if they dont, i wasnt slating anyone, or stepping on any ones toes saying anything i was just asking and giving my opinion, like others have

To be fair not many people will have the luxury of one parent not working and another only working part time so I think it's a bit unfair for you to go as far to say why have children when one parent does 99% of the parenting, I think we should just all keep our judgements on other families to ourselves and just concentrate on our own.

I was thinking this too. we could never ever afford to live on a part time wage unfortunately. Between us we work 60 hours. just the way it is for some families especially when you live in a very expensive city.

 

[Eve]

I haven't read the other comments- but no, I don't think having a baby is a job. It's a lot of work, and sure isn't easy by any means, but I wouldn't class myself as having a job by staying home with my children. I look after other kids too and still don't feel it's a job and I am paid for it

 

[BabyMamma93]

.

he says he is un employed, when they ask why he says because he has been unable to work due to health reasons and is now dedicating his time to our child, & yes he probably could go and get a job (well not atm with a broken hand and possible hip surgery) but i dont see the point in having a child and a family when one parent does 99% of the parenting, so he stays home and i work part time, so we both get to spend time with and bring up our LO.
i also work hard for my family, i work & i go home to my family, not home to my second job, but just because i work hard doesn't mean im doing it as a job, im doing it because that's why we have children, to do these things.

and lastly i do respect what other parents call their role as a parent, i was only asking whether people do call it a job, or if they dont, i wasnt slating anyone, or stepping on any ones toes saying anything i was just asking and giving my opinion, like others have

To be fair not many people will have the luxury of one parent not working and another only working part time so I think it's a bit unfair for you to go as far to say why have children when one parent does 99% of the parenting, I think we should just all keep our judgements on other families to ourselves and just concentrate on our own.

i never said 'why have children...' i said I dont see the point..' what other people decide to do with their family is totally their choice and if it works for them then good for them, but to me its just not fair. but thats another subject, thats not what this thread is about

 

[Quartz]

To be fair to the 99% parenting bit I dont think how much you work has any impact on that at all. My OH works full time but when he is at home he does as much of the parenting as I do so I would see us as equal parents.

 

[Pearls18]

.

he says he is un employed, when they ask why he says because he has been unable to work due to health reasons and is now dedicating his time to our child, & yes he probably could go and get a job (well not atm with a broken hand and possible hip surgery) but i dont see the point in having a child and a family when one parent does 99% of the parenting, so he stays home and i work part time, so we both get to spend time with and bring up our LO.
i also work hard for my family, i work & i go home to my family, not home to my second job, but just because i work hard doesn't mean im doing it as a job, im doing it because that's why we have children, to do these things.

and lastly i do respect what other parents call their role as a parent, i was only asking whether people do call it a job, or if they dont, i wasnt slating anyone, or stepping on any ones toes saying anything i was just asking and giving my opinion, like others have

To be fair not many people will have the luxury of one parent not working and another only working part time so I think it's a bit unfair for you to go as far to say why have children when one parent does 99% of the parenting, I think we should just all keep our judgements on other families to ourselves and just concentrate on our own.

i never said 'why have children...' i said I dont see the point..' what other people decide to do with their family is totally their choice and if it works for them then good for them, but to me its just not fair. but thats another subject, thats not what this thread is about

Well I don't think it's fair some families are able to make choices that other families simply cannot, but I guess that's life.