Help my breastfeed my next baby!

[Odd Socks]

Hi,

I was determined to breastfeed Bella throughout my last pregnancy, it was something I really wanted to do, but unfortunately she struggled to latch on (she would be crying / screaming for 5 hours at a time before eventually latching on, feeding for a few seconds & then falling asleep, only to repeat the same process 20 minutes later). She'd also only latch on my right side, even with nipple shields, she failed to latch onto my left side. I tried different positions & the only one that worked at all (on the right side) was the rugby ball hold. In the end, we were readmitted to hospital when she was a couple of weeks old & I reluctantly started to bottle feed (expressed & formula), but when she was a month old, I stopped expressing as I was physically exhausted & couldn't manage.

It took me a long time to get over it, & I think I eventually did only because I've told myself that when I have another, I'll have another chance.

So, another is on its way, & I'm putting myself under, if possible, more pressure than last time. I know it's silly, but I would love to breastfeed, successfully, one of my children. I know some people here have done the same thing, not managed with their first, but have with their second (or third / fourth), & I was wondering what advice I could take. What information out there is available for someone like me? What's the likelihood I will manage? How will I manage with a 17 month old toddler to look after as well? What can I do to improve my chances? Is there anything I can do beforehand to help? I have flat nipples so I believe that contributed to the latching issues. I want to put in my birthing plan that I'd like to see a lactaction consultant (there's one at my local hospital) before I leave the hospital.

xx

 

[kerrie24]

Well firstly dont put yourself under so much stress about it,every baby is different and the next one might latch on like a pro!

Arm yourself with as much info as possible,find out any problems you could come up against and how you might deal with them,then you wont be tempted to quit in an emotional state right after birth.

Internet has loads of good sites like kellymom,la leche league etc, plus there is loads of us on here who can help you.You have got the right idea to request a lactation consultant to help you at the start.Dont be afraid to ask questions!

Good luck x

 

[summer rain]

Hey hun

I'm guessing by where you live you'd be having the baby at stepping Hill? I would presume as one of the top maternity units and one of the first baby friendly hospitals in the UK a few years back that they would have decent BF help on hand if you need it this time. I agree with Kerrie; also it may well be that you don't have latching probs this time; I also have flat nipples and while my eldest had severe problems (I managed to get back to EBF but he went on a long strike at 7 months) this was partially to do with his tongue tie as well. My middle two had no problems latching at all and my youngest has a tongue tie as well; though its at the milder end of the spectrum and it hasn't caused any problems with latching. Some babies will have problems latching no matter what and some babies will have no problems no matter what. I'd advise trying the nipple formers (medela) before trying nipple shields, you can use them from the very start; not sure if you can use in late pregnancy even but I don't see why not, and I have only read excellent reviews of them and heard similar from friends who have used them, they are worn between feeds so don't interfere with feeding whatsoever.

 

[Odd Socks]

thanks summer rain, i did give birth at stepping hill & plan to do so again this time round. the midwives were wonderful when i was there (except the first night when we were readmitted, but that's a long story) & really did help try to get breastfeeding established & spent a lot of time with bella & i (we stayed in 4 nights after she was born). the lc was on annual leave when i was there so i didn't get to see her & by the time she was back, i was expressing & couldn't face seeing her, feeling like a failure.

i've bought some medela nipple formers & they can be used from 30/32 weeks pregnant, so i intend to use those then. bella didn't have a tongue tie & none of the midwives who did home visits (we had them almost every day after the inital discharge) could see what we were doing wrong / why it wasn't working.

i'll definitely be asking advice on here, i've already warned oh that night times will no doubt be spent online / catching up on 17 months worth of films on dvd i've missed while (hopefully) breastfeeding our baby!

 

[BlessedX2]

Your LO is gorgeous!!! I had problems with feeding in the beginning although not latching, they would latch but not suck. Just wanted to say that your next LO might be really good at latching. Some babies just seem to know what to do. Your a wonderful mummy to be so concerned. Sorry don;'t have any different advice to what has already been said but wanted to wish you good luck with everything.

xxx

 

[bky]

I really want to start a 'Let's be successful at BF #2+' thread/group, but I'm not preggo yet so feel it would be out of place.
But if someone who is pregnant wants to start a group I'd comment until I do get pregnant! And after of course...

I've read a bit about what you went though and a few things spring to mind. First off- tongue tie. That's the easy-but-not-so-easy answer. Easy because if you can find someone with a clue it's easily correctable. Not so easy, because they can be really sneaky and finding someone with a clue can be tricky I think. Tongue tie can keep a baby from latching and be difficult to spot. I know you say she didn't have tongue tie but I know of some people who went to 6+ different experts before they found someone who could diagnose their babies tongue tie. So .
The other thing that comes to mind is oral defensiveness. However, that, as well as not likely to be a problem with #2+, would have likely shown other signs such as bottle refusal.
I'd say see if you can contact some breastfeeding support now and see if they have other ideas.
I'd also agree with pp that you won't necessarily have issues next time though.

 

[summer rain]

I really want to start a 'Let's be successful at BF #2+' thread/group, but I'm not preggo yet so feel it would be out of place.
But if someone who is pregnant wants to start a group I'd comment until I do get pregnant! And after of course...

I've read a bit about what you went though and a few things spring to mind. First off- tongue tie. That's the easy-but-not-so-easy answer. Easy because if you can find someone with a clue it's easily correctable. Not so easy, because they can be really sneaky and finding someone with a clue can be tricky I think. Tongue tie can keep a baby from latching and be difficult to spot. I know you say she didn't have tongue tie but I know of some people who went to 6+ different experts before they found someone who could diagnose their babies tongue tie. So .
The other thing that comes to mind is oral defensiveness. However, that, as well as not likely to be a problem with #2+, would have likely shown other signs such as bottle refusal.
I'd say see if you can contact some breastfeeding support now and see if they have other ideas.
I'd also agree with pp that you won't necessarily have issues next time though.

I totally agree about the tongue tie; my eldest was never diagnosed with tongue tie though looking at old videos/pics it is glaringly obvious he had it; and he also has a severe lip tie that was also never picked up. Even with my youngest now; his tongue tie was not picked up by a midwife trained to look for TT and the paediatrician at the hospital who examined him after being born, whom I was also told was trained to look for TT. It was a community midwife who spotted it. In the end LO didn't need to have it snipped because like my eldest he has some other 'oral issues' and they kind of cancelled each other out really when it came to feeding. xx

 

[goddess25]

First of all I want to let you know that i know how your feeling and it is pretty stressful. I couldn't feed my baby first time around and I was desperate to do so and it took me a long time over it. When I found out I was pregnant with #2 baby it was my biggest goal to breast feed her, but I did put myself under a lot of stress about it too. My MW and hubby kept telling me not to focus on it too much incase I couldn't feed again and this seemed to be general feeling.

However it can be done. I have now been exclusively BF for just over 3 months there have been a few blips along the way so far but sticking with it and for the most part its going well. Tough not expressing or pumping so someone else can help but I want to feed my girl as long as I can.

Good luck and I am sure this time it will be different. Try not to stress out about it so much and I am sure it will all be just fine.