Home birth and Natural parenting!

[shocker]

I'm sorry but I completely disagree with letting a baby "cry it out". All that teaches them is that they can't rely on you meeting their needs. If you want a securely attached child that will grow into a balanced, happy adult, then the best thing you can do is be consistently responsive to your baby's needs. And that includes the need for comfort. I'm not sayin there shouldn't be any routine. You can have bedtimes and even feeding times (although I don't believe in those either) and still be there for your child. There is so much research that shows how important it is to be consistantly there for young infants and how damaging it can be if they learn that you aren't.

I very much agree with this. I could never in my heart allow my daughter to cry knowing that I can easily comfort her myself. I don't even understand where people think that is okay. They do it so they can get their baby to sleep on their own. So much pressure is put on these little babies to sleep a full night. When in all actuality, babies wake up at night. It's just what they do. Babies crying it out is just a parent letting their baby cry and cry until they realize mummy isn't going to meet their needs, and they give up and go to sleep. And slowly they won't even try crying anymore because they know their needs won't be met. It's horrible.

I dont think thats very fair at all, children who cry it out have their needs met just as much as children who dont.My sister only turned to letting them cry it out aftr 10 months, before that she was walking the floor rocking her every single night for about 2 hours.When she tried to stop this and get her to fall asleep on her own obviously she didnt take to kindly to it.Its unrealistic to think you can keep it up for a long space of time, if you pick up a child every time they cry they learn that crying=attention and at what point do you draw the line? when their 2? 5? 8? It just doesnt work

 

[cleckner04]

Shocker- You are very much entitled to your opinion hun. Everyone else can parent the way they wish to. But I have done my research on the subject and have chosen the attachment style of parenting instead. It happened naturally and I do what feels natural to me. But what is natural to me might not be natural to someone else. I, too, have family and even friends that have done the CIO method. They say it worked. That's all fine for them. It isn't fine for me. I find it to be cruel. That is just my opinion. If we all thought the same the world would be a boring place though and that is what is great about a good debate on subjects!

https://drbenkim.com/articles-attachment-parenting.html

and I found this one while researching about nursing to sleep but it has a little about CIO.
https://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/comfortnursing.html


There are many more articles against CIO. Just as there are many that are FOR it. I've read them all and made an informed decision that it isn't for me.

 

[tasha41]

Honestly with CIO and CC, it depends on each individual parent and child. I don't like to do it but I have done CC, sometimes you just have to. The needs are met, there's been plenty of cuddling, rocking, etc but bedtime is still carrying on forever and you're getting frustrated and going to be in tears yourself.

Even if you put them in the crib and walk away for a couple of minutes to just breathe a bit, they'll cry a little bit and it will wear them out enough that when you return you can comfort them and sleep comes quickly.

Parenting isn't black and white.

 

[nikki-lou25]

I am a homebirth, natural & meds-free birth Mum (ETA not freebirthing as it may appear I've typed) - and I thought I would be au naturel e.g. BF'in, baby wearing, co-sleeping.
In reality I am very different. I don't co-sleep as I wasnt sleeping well and sleep deprivation got to me, and she slept through really early so Moses basket next to my bed was just as good. I got far too sore to BF so changed to formula after a few weeks.

I love my girl just as much as everyone else loves their children. CC CIO is hard going on both Mummy and baby, but just recently I have had to let her CIO a little at bedtime...she is tired, she just wants me to stay with her - and when her 7:30pm bedtime is dragging on until nearly 10pm I had to really really find it in me to let her cry. I tried pickin her up, pacing, pattin her, rocking her, even letting her sleep in our bed then transfer to cot...but it wasn't working. Now after a few weeks of CC she goes down much easier (although not perfectly every night). We have 'quiet time and cuddles' on my bed, then when she is sleepy (not asleep) I put her down. I would hate to think people would call me cruel for that! I don't think for one moment Aimee feels unloved/unsupported by her parents. She is 9 months and beginning to test boundaries, I know now she cries for attention at times because the moment I pick her up she giggles like HAHA I win Mummy

Each to their own, but I thought I'd drop my opinion in the mixer

 

[runnergrl]

what is baby signing?

 

[cleckner04]

what is baby signing?

Sign language. You start with basic words like 'milk' so they can let you know when they are hungry, etc. Babies can learn to sign well before they learn to speak. It's amazing because you can communicate with them earlier. I haven't tried it with Emma though. hehe.

 

[cleckner04]

I completely agree with Tasha when she says parenting isn't black and white.

What works for me may not work for someone else and that is fine. And even what works for me now, may not work with my next child. It's good to have different opinions.

 

[JASMAK]

I like this thread. It shows how different we are, but that we all are going to be good momma's and do what is best for our own families.

I am going to breastfeed. I BF both my two old kids for 20mths and 19mths. So, that is probably considered "extended" in some areas, although it is quite the norm on the island here.

I am not going to use cloth diapers. I feel bad about this as I know it is good for the enviornment to use cloth, but, I am not. Sorry.

I am having a hospital birth.

I have co-slept with my previous two, but I am going to try not to this time, but we will see. The reason for this is only that I sleep better without baby in bed.

I will not be using a sling as I work for the police and we see many babies die (sorry, don't mean to scare) from the sling, but I do have a kangaroo pouch that my husband and I will use for walks. I use a swing in the house. I am not much of a baby-wearer I must admit.

Great to see everyone's opinions.

 

[Blah11]

I don't like CIO for my child too but sometimes I wish I did. You can't really comment on something so personal until you have a baby and a. discover how heart wrenching it is to hear your baby cry and know you can make it stop by picking them up and b. when you're EXHAUSTED from being up 3+ times a night for a year.





ETA -i'm a firm believer in that they'll sleep on their own when they're ready. You don't see any 10 year olds being rocked to sleep, do you?

 

[cleckner04]

JASMAK- Don't feel bad about using sposies. In ways they are all bad for the environment. Cloth too! With cloth we are using a lot more water and electricity to keep them clean. Which hurts the environment as well. For me it was the cost factor that made me start using them. I plan on having several more kids so I figure it'll save me in the end.

 

[Tacey]

With baby number 1 I:

Had a water birth in hospital (unplanned!)
Had a natural 3rd stage of labour - so no injection to get placenta out and waited until the cord stopped pulsing before clamping.
Exclusively breastfeed, and intend to as long as she wants it.
Use cloth nappies and wipes
Co-sleep (unplanned - we had such a lovely cot!)
Just about to do BLW
Wear her as much as possible
Pick her up as soon as she cries
Planning to get a teething necklace if I can persuade DH!
Make my own lotions and potions for her skin

I'd like to do all this again for baby number 2, but with more confidence. I wish I'd known about all this earlier! I'd quite like a home birth, but I was so noisy the first time round that I think I'd never be able to face the neighbours again...

It's great to see the different thoughts people have on this subject.

 

[JASMAK]

JASMAK- Don't feel bad about using sposies. In ways they are all bad for the environment. Cloth too! With cloth we are using a lot more water and electricity to keep them clean. Which hurts the environment as well. For me it was the cost factor that made me start using them. I plan on having several more kids so I figure it'll save me in the end.

I guess that is true, they are both not great for the environment. I do feel bad about it because it is sheer laziness on my part. I used cloth when I was a nanny and I was constantly changing wet clothing. Perhaps they were just a bad kind. But, yeah...I am doing the diposable thing. I am getting a sample from pampers I think...they are supposed to be better for the environment. I have some friends who don't use diapers...they hold their babies over the toilet. So, I am waaaaaay off compared to some.

 

[xsophiexleax]

People are probably gonna hate me for this but I'll be bottle feeding (for medication reasons, otherwise I probably would breastfeed) and I'd be using disposables.
I wanna give birth in a hospital rather than at home, I'm all up for an epidural haha!
I'd like to try baby wearing, I wouldn't like to co-sleep though, I'd be too panicky thinking I'd roll over on baby or something! Plus I think that would be a hard habit to break later in life. I can see why the idea is really appealing though, must be a good way to bond

 

[Amygdala]

Why would anyone hate you for that?? You've got good reasons and are doing what's right for your family. No-one has a right to criticise you for that even if they are doing things differently.

 

[Tulip]

I'm hoping for a home-hypno-ish-birth (CMWs are very pro-HB round here) because being in hosp would definitely make me tense up, try everything I can to BF for a year, definitely give reusables a go and wear baby rather than pushchair - JASMAK what's this about babies dying in slings mate?

 

[nikki-lou25]

I'm hoping for a home-hypno-ish-birth (CMWs are very pro-HB round here) because being in hosp would definitely make me tense up, try everything I can to BF for a year, definitely give reusables a go and wear baby rather than pushchair - JASMAK what's this about babies dying in slings mate?

I am so glad your CMWs are pro-homebirth. Mine weren't overly helpful...however that midwife that came to deliver Aimee was AMAZING! She was so so pro-homebirth. I landed on my feet with her!
I have a stupidly bad fear of hospitals...so I wouldn't have relaxed there AT ALL.
Good Luck getting your homebirth - You're half way there having great CMWs

 

[beckyfletcher]

I was hoping for homebirth with No2 ( had no1 in hospital) however No 2 as breach and ended up with section not sure what will happen when we go for No3 not sure if i will be allowed HB after section will be looking into it as i think a homebirth will suit me much more

 

[nikki-lou25]

OMG becky - you're cheating on me too!!! PMSL!

(((HUGS))) hunni!

I don't think NHS midwives support VBAC...however, I think there are ways around it! It has been done - some with independant MWs (but I enquired myself and they are expensive)

You have had a previous caesarean section"
- You have a small risk - no more than 1 in 200 - that your scar might rupture. The effect of scar rupture can be devastating, and if it happened, you would need an emergency caesarean very quickly. On the other hand, a home birth probably maximises your chances of having a safe and intervention-free birth. Home birth may be right for you, but make sure your choice is informed - see the VBAC Pages.

I just copied that off www.homebirth.org.uk for you hun!

 

[beckyfletcher]

thanks hunni xx

 

[goddess25]

Nice thread... i had lots of ideas like yourself before my Lo was born.. i had a midwife which is not really the done thing here in Canada, i had a hospital birth which was just as well since he was very stuck and i had to go to theatre, i had no pain relief during labour and into pushing until i went into theatre, i planned on breastfeeding and i had such a crap supply and no medication, herbals, pumping etc helped so i eventually had to give it up which was heartbreaking, i was a baby wearer for a long time and now LO is almost a year and very heavy i find i am doing it less and less and only do it for short periods now, in terms of diapers i wanted to do cloth diapering and i ended up doing a combination of the two and now i use disposables as his skin is much better with them.

Its funny how things work out.