My appt with the senior MW yesterday was not great. She did give lots of good advice and information and some of it was reassuring/useful.... but some of it was just plain BS!
Apparently you can't have candles AT ALL because of the gas and air being in the HOUSE (not just being used). What crap! How hard is it to leave the cannisters in the car until/unless they are NEEDED?!
Apparently I need a "liner" for the pool, which I thought was just a waste of money if I'm sterilising it anyway.... and then it has to be used on the day brand new, so if it doesn't fit properly, you're screwed. Still debating whether to get one just to keep them happy.
Apparently if it's very busy when I'm in labour I "will have to go in". Crap crap crap. How many women are fed this line?? On the day they'll just be told, "we're staying home and we expect someone to be here" but it still worries me.
Another good one: "We'll LET you (ha) dilate at half a cm per hour, if you go slower than that you have to go to hospital..." F*** that! No internals for me!
My favourite? "You have to understand that the midwife's decision is paramount." What happened to bodily autonomy??? WHO is going through labour and birth here? Whose body is it anyway? Surely they can ADVISE me and MY decision is paramount?!
The worst part is I *SIGNED* something. I was reading it as she was going through it, but straight after I thought, I should have taken that out of her hands and read it *properly* before I put my name on it. How stupid can I be?! Just what have I agreed to or signed away? F*** times ten thousand. Starting to think Sod it I'll just go to effing hospital like they obviously WANT me to. Bloody gits. Bullies. I hate them. I am not of a mind to let any of them TOUCH me while I'm in labour, wherever I am! How am I supposed to trust any of them after being fed a pack of lies? If they tell me I need to transfer, how am I supposed to trust that I really do need to go, and it's not them being over-cautious, or just plain LYING again??
Couldn't sleep last night at all, I even bawled my eyes out at one point which is NOT like me. OH tried to tell me it would be OK, where we were didn't matter that much, the important thing is to get Peanut out isn't it? Do I even have to say how much worse that made me feel, and worse still because he thought he was being nice and supportive and saying the right things.
I swear, I am never having kids again unless I save up beforehand and hire an independant midwife. This system SUCKS!!!!!
Sorry to put a dampener on the thread. I am so so so so pissy and mad right now and when I run out of energy being mad I just bawl and feel miserable and then I go back to being mad again. Just over a week ago I was SO bl**dy excited about having this baby and now I'm dreading it..... dreading being lied to, bullied, coerced, talked over and probably butchered.... all over again. I just want the farce to be over with, wherever it happens.
It was your siggie about it being a state of mind (which I love!) that prompted me 
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It gets me every time!
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coming your way. If you need anyone to talk to, you can always pm me! 
