Home Birthers & Hopefuls!

[Mervs Mum]

Sorry your suffering Carries If it's any consolation at all I think even without the SPD it's tough with a toddler. But they dont seem to mind and once youre mobile again you'll be away. Just a week after giving birth and I'm loving getting stuck in with baths and games again etc.

 

[Bec L]

Well a quick update from me - saw my midwife on Friday who said I have no chance of having a home birth and it's unlikely I'll even be allowed to give birth on one of the midwife led units. As I am under consultant care, have had a previous prem birth, plus surgery to my cervix they won't consider it Gutted, but want to do what is safest for the baby (and me I guess) so hospital birth here I come (well, not for a while yet hopefully )

 

[Mervs Mum]

Aww that's a shame Bec

 

[madasa]

Hello all. I don't think I have posted yet... I wanted to wait until I got thru the whole thread, but, erm, don't know if you ladies have noticed or anything but....

IT'S FREAKING HUGE!!!

So I'm just sticking my head in the door, mostly so it will come up on my subscribed list.

This is my second kiddo but the first time we will be doing it at home. There are a few things that might stand in the way: big bump, big baby, low iron. None of these things concern me too much, so I'm sticking to my HB plans and just hoping I don't have to argue with MW too much!

I am hoping to get a pool and try a water birth. I'm getting loads of great info on types of pools and stuff from this thread. This thread jsut feels really good to read, it's awesome to see so many ladies trusting their bodies and being excited about their big day! I've had a few comments from family about my choice, but I don't want to get in a debate about it, so I've mostly just brushed them off... all the same, it's nice to come in here and feel right at home with like minded people The way I see it, you don;t go to hospital in case you break your leg, right? DH is brilliant about the whole thing, much more OK about it than I could ever have dreamed and completely willing to stamp his feet and stick up for me if I need it.

I'm going to try and finish reading this monster now!

 

[nightkd]

Hey Madasa

I started my Hypnobabies stuff 'properly' today... I had DH read a script to me about protecting myself from negative comments...I like it so far! And it's nice to have DH involved to such an extent I just went into the Teen Section and lo and behold stumbled across a 'negative' comment about childbirth...that seems to be the only place I go (occasionally) that I read this stuff in, so I think I'm going to have to avoid it entirely... Oh well, not a big deal! I'm having to avoid 'negative' shows too, eg the ones about pregnancy/birthing that over-dramatise it and make everything seem problematic and difficult...again not a big deal....The only thing I think I'm going to have problems with are comments from family and friends - I'm supposed to tell them outright to basically shut their gobs when they start talking about birth in a 'negative' way I'd feel bad...But if it's going to help me have a better birth, then I guess I'll just have to do it!!

I'm just downloading my CD's to my MP3 player, so I'll probably play the first track tonight - I was wondering if it was okay to have DH there with me (I find I can concentrate better with him there) but if his presence helps me absorb the info better, I can't see it doing any harm He is gonna be there for the birth anyway!!!

Still not sure what to do on the Strep B testing front...I can either choose to have, or not have the test....start taking supplements (immune boosting to reduce the risk of infection) and/or use a vaginal wash when I go into labour, or just not worry about it...

 

[Mervs Mum]

Welcome Madasa - I think you'll remember I mentioned I had all the 'issues' you have and without too much fighting (only one induction refusal really) I got my HB and got MWs and even the consultant/doctor on side in the end. You'll read about it towards the end of the thread and there are also details in my pregnancy journal

 

[EternalRose]

Ive found that I have stopped reading birth stories that have traumatic in the title...trying to keep the positive momentum going.

Oh and welcome madasa, so glad your here.. x x

 

[madasa]

Actually, MY family are perfectly cool with it. My mum is fine with it, 2 of my sisters are dead excited, think it is a great idea and perfectly logical and the others are neutral, or if they have any -ve thots, they are keeping them to themselves. It's DH's family that probably talk about me as if I am nuts when I am not around. They seem very very unsure and keep hinting that hospital would be better. This is mostly his mum and his auntie, mind.... I have had to bite my tongue quite hard, but one day I'm not going to feel like it and they are going to get a long speech on why hospital birth IS NOT proved as being safer for most births!!

 

[madasa]

I have a hypnibirthing book on order.... I would have ordered it ages ago as I have been ITCHING to do teh relaxation etc. for MONTHS, but we have been seriously skint and had to really tighten our belts. Anyway, decided it couldn't wait ANY longer, so I have ordered one, but it doesn't come with a CD. If anyone has a hypnobirthing CD that they would be willing to copy for me I would be super, super grateful!!

 

[lozzy21]

Girls, how did you bring up wanting a homebirth with your OH's and family?

I can see me having to do a lot of persuding and reassurance with him.

 

[madasa]

I just told DH straight out... I took the angle that if there was a complication, I can transfer to hosp.... but if I'm IN hosp I can't transfer home if I think I will cope better there. And I DO think I will cope better there.

I was ready to quote chapter and verse about lower risk of haemorrhage, infections, interventions, less need for pain relief and no unbiased study to date demonstrating that hosp birth was safer.... but it turned out I didn;t need to. He just shrugged and said, OK, cool!

As for his family... it came up in conversation. I didn't go out of my way to tell them. Why should I? None of their beeswax IMO! And I can tell you from experience that if you go round purposely telling people you WILL have people trying to put you off or telling you that you are mad or brave and it will drive you nuts!

 

[Pops]

Girls, how did you bring up wanting a homebirth with your OH's and family?

I can see me having to do a lot of persuding and reassurance with him.

I didn't have to bring it up with Boyo, we were talking through all sorts of things and looking at options and for both of us, it seemed perfect. Thankfully we are very similar in that we are home-bodies and feel happy and relaxed here and don't think a hospital would be the best place for us IF everything is well.

Family wise, I just told Mumsy on the phone one night mid converstation and she totally backs whatever we want to do, always does, she knows we are sensible.

OHs folks are older and less convinced, actually, his Mum hates the idea but hey ho! His sister also thought we were nuts but having spoke to her more indepth about our reasons, she can see why we want to and agrees that maybe for us it is a good idea but she would never do it....she has 2 and was for the epidural and being flat on her back before she fell with both of them and that's what works for her!

Not much to report from our end really, we have our 25 week appointment with the MW on Friday which is cool, I am still really well and feeling great. Missy is also making herself known too much more which is fab

My Boyo bought me a lovely Kaftan type thing last week for me to wear whilst in labour if I want to have something on so I am comfortable and cool but still pretty....how sweet was that!

On the last chapter of the book which I have loved, so much I am going to order a copy! We also have our Hypno classes at home next month which is cool.

So yeah, all good here

xxx

 

[EternalRose]

I just told DH straight out... I took the angle that if there was a complication, I can transfer to hosp.... but if I'm IN hosp I can't transfer home if I think I will cope better there. And I DO think I will cope better there.

I was ready to quote chapter and verse about lower risk of haemorrhage, infections, interventions, less need for pain relief and no unbiased study to date demonstrating that hosp birth was safer.... but it turned out I didn;t need to. He just shrugged and said, OK, cool!

As for his family... it came up in conversation. I didn't go out of my way to tell them. Why should I? None of their beeswax IMO! And I can tell you from experience that if you go round purposely telling people you WILL have people trying to put you off or telling you that you are mad or brave and it will drive you nuts!

YAY I am so glad your DH is on board hun, my fiance was supportive from the word go but he has always been one to go against the grain so it was a no brainer really. I am talking about homebirth in mrsraggle thread in third tri at the moment x

 

[nightkd]

I told DH I wanted a waterbirth to start with and then it turned out that none of the hospitals around here could do one...so I said I'd be having a homebirth, no option - DH knows I'm not one to be pressurized into changing my birth plan just to keep someone else happy

He wasn't particularly happy about it at first, he was worried about homebirth not being 'safe'...but he's come around. I've shared lots of different articles with him (eg he was worried with it being my first - so was my mum... so the one I posted earlier about the first birth potentially being safer because it tends to move slower than following births...)... Now he's being really supportive with my hypnobabies course.

xx

 

[gina8177]

Hey Madasa

I started my Hypnobabies stuff 'properly' today... I had DH read a script to me about protecting myself from negative comments...I like it so far! And it's nice to have DH involved to such an extent I just went into the Teen Section and lo and behold stumbled across a 'negative' comment about childbirth...that seems to be the only place I go (occasionally) that I read this stuff in, so I think I'm going to have to avoid it entirely... Oh well, not a big deal! I'm having to avoid 'negative' shows too, eg the ones about pregnancy/birthing that over-dramatise it and make everything seem problematic and difficult...again not a big deal....The only thing I think I'm going to have problems with are comments from family and friends - I'm supposed to tell them outright to basically shut their gobs when they start talking about birth in a 'negative' way I'd feel bad...But if it's going to help me have a better birth, then I guess I'll just have to do it!!

I'm just downloading my CD's to my MP3 player, so I'll probably play the first track tonight - I was wondering if it was okay to have DH there with me (I find I can concentrate better with him there) but if his presence helps me absorb the info better, I can't see it doing any harm He is gonna be there for the birth anyway!!!

Still not sure what to do on the Strep B testing front...I can either choose to have, or not have the test....start taking supplements (immune boosting to reduce the risk of infection) and/or use a vaginal wash when I go into labour, or just not worry about it...

I'm glad you're liking your hypnobabies. I finished the 6 week course last week and I loved it, so now I'm on the maintenance program until birth. I loved the course and find the scrips super relaxing. I used a lot of the techniques when I was working like a madman and didn't think I'd survive.

 

[gina8177]

Girls, how did you bring up wanting a homebirth with your OH's and family?

I can see me having to do a lot of persuding and reassurance with him.

With DH I brought it up directly, and he was hesitant at first. But over time he became more relaxed when he realized that it is actually a safe option and that it is what I was more comfortable with. Now he's fully on board. I also had him watch stuff like the business of being born with me.

As for family, we're simply not telling them. I know that they will not be supportive and always try to "hint" and such about how they feel, which would be draining and annoying. So they will find out after the fact. I basically don't tell anyone who I don't think will be supportive. We deal with enough negative stuff while pregnant, why add to the mix if we don't have to.

 

[Mervs Mum]

hey girls! :wave:

Madasa - I have all the hypnobirthing stuff on files that I can transfer to you via MSN when you have time.

Pops - glad you're feeling well darling and everything is bobbing along nicely. Is that the Sheila Stubbs book you're reading? Gosh I LOVED that book and it was definitely a key read as I started thinking more seriously and planning for a home birth. I actually emailed Sheila after I read it and she sent me a lovely reply and some info to share with this group (it's linked on the OP for anyone who didnt see it) and I've got it on my to do list to email her to let her know how my birth went.

I think a good proportion of OHs are a little more sceptical or maybe not as convinced when you first talk to them about HB. I think we need to understand that when it comes to birth and pregnancy most things are pretty straight forward to us women. We just want what's best for our babies and we tend to instinctively know what that might be and just back ourselves. Our OH's are in a more difficult position in some ways. They think of their wife/GF/partner as well as their baby - so in many ways it' almost twice as difficult for them.
Be honest but be aware that sometimes lots of information can be counter productive. I gave my hubby LOTS of HB info.....in the first instance it proved to be a mistake because he started worrying about all kinds of rare scenarios happening that he was previously blissfully unaware of! So just play it by ear how much info you give and on what.
After a rocky start (you can read it in the OP of this thread!) my OH was even more excited about the HB that me!! and so proud.....he ALWAYS mentions how Sid was born at home when anyone talks to him

 

[Rachiebaby24]

Quick update from me ladies...

Had physio for my SPD on Friday and am now offically on crutches which is fun! Kept getting a twinge on my inner thigh muscle and my leg kept giving way. Was really hoping it was a pulled muscle but have been told it is a progression of my SPD.

To be honest, it is really starting to take its toll So sick of feeling debilitated and useless and feel so sorry for my little man as I cant do half as much as usual with him.

Seeing the midwife on the 22nd so until then just plodding along!

Hope you are all doing well...any word from Rach? I see she hasnt posted for a few days (unless I have missed it)

Hiya!! Only just managed to come on and read through everyones posts!! his thread moves so quickly!!

I feel for you hun, the SPD can be so depressing. Mine eased up for a week or so and then suddenly came back with avengance! Its complete agony getting up from bed and i cant sleep at night again!

I think mentally its hard because your mind is fine and you want to do things but you cant. The lovely weather we have had for the past few days has really got to me too.....my OH has been taking Maley out and i am stuck in the house and it really gets me down. Its also putting a dampener on the pregnancy which i really didnt want. At least i am near the end though which is a relief. Do you find the crutches help?

xxx I feel for you hunny xx Are you on facebook?? Im on there quite a bit and you can moan to me all you like....i dont mind!! x

 

[Rachiebaby24]

Hi Girls....just working through the posts.....this thread moves so quickly!!

Can anyone tell me what slow labour is like?? Today I have had really strong period pains....enough for me to stop and wait for them to go....my SPD is very painful so i am assuming she has moved down further and i also have pain in my back.....

Oh and i can feel strong pressure in my bum (sorry TMI)....i feel like i want to poo and go sit on the toilet but i dont go nor do i feel like i need to go but there is this constant pressure....

Sorry i am clueless as with Maley i had no symptoms. Just waters that broke, first contraction half an hour later and then gave birth three hours later....so i had no build up

 

[EternalRose]

Rach I reckon something is in the air tonight...as I could have wrote your last post..

I dont have a clue what I am feeling here...called the midwife and let her know and she said it all sounds promising...

I am losing my plug slowly..clear mucous type stringy substance came away at 4am this morning...and then I had another tiny bit come away just now. No blood or anything. I had some of this same substance come away at 37 weeks so I am not really getting excited but today period pain has been CONSTANT and discharge is really watery. Lower back ache and just feeling really uncomfortable really...so Im just waiting and seeing really...