Horrified .. drinking and smoking

[tequila]

loving how you are all justifying drinking in pregnancy but not smoking

They are quite different things. Like I said, smoking deprives the human body of oxygen. Alcohol, in small quantities, doesnt even reach the baby.

Having a drink when Im not pregnant does not hurt me. Smoking does.

Actually, eating a bag of crisps does more damage to the non pregnant body than a glass of wine would.

 

[hayley x]

I hate how people say they did this or did that and their babys are fine! just cause yours is doesnt mean someone else's will be or that your next baby will be

 

[Kittifer]

I hate how people say they did this or did that and their babys are fine! just cause yours is doesnt mean someone else's will be or that your next baby will be

I think that's the point though. You could do EVERYTHING by the book and suffer a loss, which is heartbreaking. Then there are women who do horrible things like take drugs/smoke/drink etc and they have healthy babies. *by drink I mean excessive, getting drunk.

Unfortunately there are no guarantees =( And while I understand that those women who have tragically lost their angels feel infuriated that another woman would do anything that they perceive to be a risk, we can each only do what is right for ourselves/our babies.

 

[xolily]

her doctor probably told her that 5 a day was better than 20 a day, not that it was ok.. just better that she had cut down.

 

[hayley x]

I hate how people say they did this or did that and their babys are fine! just cause yours is doesnt mean someone else's will be or that your next baby will be

I think that's the point though. You could do EVERYTHING by the book and suffer a loss, which is heartbreaking. Then there are women who do horrible things like take drugs/smoke/drink etc and they have healthy babies. *by drink I mean excessive, getting drunk.

Unfortunately there are no guarantees =( And while I understand that those women who have tragically lost their angels feel infuriated that another woman would do anything that they perceive to be a risk, we can each only do what is right for ourselves/our babies.

Of course I appreciate and understand that...but how is drinking and smoking whats right for your baby of course there are no guarantees but by doing these things you are increasing the risk of problems or even death happening, why chance it? just my view (not aimed at you just in general)

 

[special_kala]

How lovely.

I dont see how hard it is to not smoke/drink whilst pregnant. I'd walk over hot coals to make sure my baby was as healthy as it can be.

My baby comes first my wants/needs come second

EDIT: Actually smoking i can understand the struggle more as it is a addiction but drinking just baffles me. Whats the point in risking it for a bit of wine?

 

[ess]

hhmm- I understand where everyone is coming from and I agree with xolily in thinking that the doc probably told her that 5 was better than the pack a day she was smoking before BUT none of us are perfect! If we were and were thinking about our baby ALL of the time- we wouldn't eat the macdonalds breakfasts, crisps, chocolate and those naughty things that most people think they 'crave' during the 9 months- if we were so perfect, we would exercise regularly- only eat healthy food and avoid any contact with anything toxic. I'm sure she knows that she is doing wrong but tries to justify it to herself and you, to make herself feel better! I think leave her to do what she chooses to do. We can only do our best for our baby's and everyone is different - someone just told me off on this site for not taking prenatals- but I eat a v healthy diet and don't eat junk food, so don't believe I need them (and feel uncomfortable taking anything not prescribed by my doc)- am I a bad mother? some obviously think so- but we are all different and have different needs/wants/beliefs etc.

 

[tequila]

hhmm- I understand where everyone is coming from and I agree with xolily in thinking that the doc probably told her that 5 was better than the pack a day she was smoking before BUT none of us are perfect! If we were and were thinking about our baby ALL of the time- we wouldn't eat the macdonalds breakfasts, crisps, chocolate and those naughty things that most people think they 'crave' during the 9 months- if we were so perfect, we would exercise regularly- only eat healthy food and avoid any contact with anything toxic. I'm sure she knows that she is doing wrong but tries to justify it to herself and you, to make herself feel better! I think leave her to do what she chooses to do. We can only do our best for our baby's and everyone is different - someone just told me off on this site for not taking prenatals- but I eat a v healthy diet and don't eat junk food, so don't believe I need them (and feel uncomfortable taking anything not prescribed by my doc)- am I a bad mother? some obviously think so- but we are all different and have different needs/wants/beliefs etc.

Good to hear some common sense. I eat a healthy diet. Everytime I consider putting a sweet, chocolate or a refined carbohydrate into my mouth, I KNOW its going to reach my baby. I would never suggest that people on this site who "crave" McDonalds are selfish and are putting their babies at risk but the "I wouldnt touch alcohol" brigade are saying just that.

I HATE the judgemental crap on this site with people saying "its up to you but I WOULDNT RISK MY BABY" How dare you.

 

[mummy2lola]

I think this subject will always devide people on here,but keeping it to just ur opinion and not jumping on those who feel differently is the key.it's everyones personal choice and I would say if they are comfortable with their choice then so be it BUT lol IMO when I'm at the pub drinking my juice and say see a pregnant lady with wine it does make me angry,this may have been her first one for all I know but I still judge and I really shouldn't,smoking I hate anyway,pregnant or not it turns my stomach,but if u see a bump on someone who's smoking then I feel quite sick,my mum smoked through both her of with me and my bro and we were both very tiny babys and my brother was on a ventilator most of the time from birth to fifteen as his asthma was so severe docs nearly lost him quite a few times,my asthma thankfully isn't to bad but no one else in the family has it and docs have told us it was due to the smoking so I try to even distance myself from second hand smoke in the open now I'm pg xx

 

[kellface]

This subject is always going to cause a ruccus, as people take things to heart or don't respect other peoples opinions. It's not fair for people to judge but we all do it, as much as we say we don't...we do...we're human being and its in our nature to judge people for doing something that we do not..

Obviously we don't know the woman in question who smokes and drinks, it is her decision to do so. All we can do is share our opinion on the matter. I used to smoke but as soon as I found out I was pregnant I quit. Cold turkey, it was tough for the first few days but all i had to think about was that I was doing the best thing for my baby, as it would be unfair for me to potentially damage her health before she's even born. As for alcohol I think I've had about 2/3 drinks throughout my 21 weeks so far. I had 1 shandy at christmas, a cider on new years eve and another for my OH's birthday..Does that make me an alcoholic? does it buggery, nobodies perfect.

Everyday we are out and about breathing in all of the polution etc that car's and other people produce, this could harm our babies, but we can't live in a bubble for 9 months.
All we can do is what we think is the best for our little ones as individuals, everyone is different.

 

[MrsPOP]

hhmm- I understand where everyone is coming from and I agree with xolily in thinking that the doc probably told her that 5 was better than the pack a day she was smoking before BUT none of us are perfect! If we were and were thinking about our baby ALL of the time- we wouldn't eat the macdonalds breakfasts, crisps, chocolate and those naughty things that most people think they 'crave' during the 9 months- if we were so perfect, we would exercise regularly- only eat healthy food and avoid any contact with anything toxic. I'm sure she knows that she is doing wrong but tries to justify it to herself and you, to make herself feel better! I think leave her to do what she chooses to do. We can only do our best for our baby's and everyone is different - someone just told me off on this site for not taking prenatals- but I eat a v healthy diet and don't eat junk food, so don't believe I need them (and feel uncomfortable taking anything not prescribed by my doc)- am I a bad mother? some obviously think so- but we are all different and have different needs/wants/beliefs etc.

Good to hear some common sense. I eat a healthy diet. Everytime I consider putting a sweet, chocolate or a refined carbohydrate into my mouth, I KNOW its going to reach my baby. I would never suggest that people on this site who "crave" McDonalds are selfish and are putting their babies at risk but the "I wouldnt touch alcohol" brigade are saying just that.

I HATE the judgemental crap on this site with people saying "its up to you but I WOULDNT RISK MY BABY" How dare you.

Nice generalisation there. Maybe they say that because Foetal Alcohol Syndrome and Alcohol-Related Birth Defects exist?

 

[lilwelsh1]

for me personally i wouldnt drink in pregnancy BUT thats because i dont really drink when not pregnant. My father is a stark raving alcoholic and he ruined my family so all i see is the destruction caused by excessive alcohol consumption. I am however a firm believer in everything in moderation. I eat pretty much anything i like the 'banned' foods i dont even like so obviously i dont eat them. I even exercise moderately.

I have quit smoking in every pregnancy because thats what i feel i should do, my sister has always smoked 5 a day in pregnancy she cut down to 1 or 2 and some days she went without. Fair enough, her daughter was born weighing 8lb where as mine were 5lb and 6lb. A friend of mine still smokes around 40 a day and doesnt eat properly often skipping meals all day, i am concerned for hers and her babys health and so is her midwife, do i think my friend is wrong and a bad person? No, i think she is simply weak willed and as she was concerned for her weight shes probably having a cigarette instead of eating. And has made ill informed decisions. I do tell her how i feel about it but she smiles n says 'i know' shes an adult i cant tell her what to do, i do want her to know that i care. So maybe the original poster could share her concerns with her friend? Dont tell her to stop it and that she is wrong because for her own personal self she is not wrong. Xxx

 

[tequila]

Im stepping out of this thread! One thing I definately dont do is generalise.

 

[DragonMummy]

I know that they say you can have up to 2 units a week but they recommend you abstain completely - I apply the 2 units thing for exceptional circumstances - like at my christmas party I had 2 small glasses of red wine. And I know MW's have been known to recommend heavy smokers continue smoking but cut right back but again the advice would be quit if you can, if you really can't then don't have more than 5 a day. I guess she's taking advice and interpreting it to suit herself. Personally since it took 3 years to conceive my son, 18 months this time round plus tests, treatment and a mc, I'm taking no chances and treating my baby like the gift she is.

 

[createbeauty]

My dad told me that my mom smoked a pack of cigarettes a day when she was pregnant with me and I was completely healthy when I was born. I was a bit horrified but I guess things were different then.

 

[jenb]

i think thats its only 9 months so you should be able to give up smoking and drinking for that amount of time but at the same time i dont think its nice to judge people just let them do their own thing, i didnt like it when i was told by a friend that they think i will develop gestinational diabeties and i got offended when a friend said i shouldnt be eating peanuts even though the guidelines have changed and you are allowed nuts so long as you or OH does not have allergies
just focus on yourself

 

[fifi-folle]

I would just like to say that foetal alcohol syndrome is highly unlikely to be caused by having 2 units of wine. FAS is a horrible condition associated with alcohol abuse not by consuming a limited amount of alcohol.

In an ideal world we would all stick to all the guidelines we are given but we are human beings and it would be helpful to consider that perhaps this woman has issues in her personal life which would require understanding and support rather than condemnation. (I am speaking from experience of dealing with a pregnant neighbour in an abusive relationship who had bigger issues in her life than making herself ill with worry because she hadn't managed to completely stop smoking, she had enough guilt to deal with).

 

[cocoelopen]

i honestly, can't believe some of the things i read on these forums. The judging and bitching over people who have failed to acheive "perfection".....like so many on here have apparently!! Yeah i smoke 5 a day, i know its wrong, i gave up for a while but caved and started again!! I do not see myself as an unfit mother and i think my 3 yr old would agree with me In the scheme of life, what i am "doing" is not what i would call evil! Its definately not something to condone doing, but just to hear some people up on their high horses running people down who are making poor choices is just so mean & horrible
My friends all now that i am smoking whilst pregnant and i can honestly say, that even tho they understand that i shouldn't, not one of them has judged or tutted me and thats because they know me, and who i am...and that, at the end of the day, i will be as much of a bloomin fantastic mother to this baby as the rest of the perfect brigade!
What's that old saying....." let he without sin...." and all that? xxx

 

[LittleBoo]

I think she may be taking her docs words and twisting it a bit, I'm on nicotine replacement at the moment but was still smoking a few a day in first tri, the advice I was given was to reduce the amount, the less the better. I wish I'd started the replacement sooner, I feel so guilty for each and every cigarette. I'm now reducing the amount of niquitin mini's I have a day so hopefully will be nicotine free in no time. Anyway, original point being, some professionals recommend reducing the amount you smoke before quitting all together, and I know plenty of people who would take that advice as 'you can still smoke, just less' and leave out the quitting bit altogether.

 

[Sydneymum2b]

It's now illegal in Australia to smoke in the car if there are children in the car, in a lot of Sydney and Melbourne suburbs it s illegal to walk down the street smoking... I wonder how long it will take for them to pass the law that it is illegal to smoke whilst pregnant? Not asking for an argument here, just saying!