Horrified .. drinking and smoking

[MrsPOP]

Its been illegal to smoke in public spaces in the UK since 2007.

 

[MamaHeather]

I cannot believe this is even up for discussion.

Drinking at all while pregnant is NOT okay.

 

[vb032]

i honestly, can't believe some of the things i read on these forums. The judging and bitching over people who have failed to acheive "perfection".....like so many on here have apparently!! Yeah i smoke 5 a day, i know its wrong, i gave up for a while but caved and started again!! I do not see myself as an unfit mother and i think my 3 yr old would agree with me In the scheme of life, what i am "doing" is not what i would call evil! Its definately not something to condone doing, but just to hear some people up on their high horses running people down who are making poor choices is just so mean & horrible
My friends all now that i am smoking whilst pregnant and i can honestly say, that even tho they understand that i shouldn't, not one of them has judged or tutted me and thats because they know me, and who i am...and that, at the end of the day, i will be as much of a bloomin fantastic mother to this baby as the rest of the perfect brigade!
What's that old saying....." let he without sin...." and all that? xxx

Well said, I also smoke and did do with my previous pregnancies and my kids are fine and healthy my son weighed 9lb 6 and my daughter 6lb 15... I know I shouldnt but cannot stop so instead cut down my friends do not judge either each to their own its no one elses business I smoke outside at home so not infront of my kids I dont judge people its their choice.

 

[laila 44]

I had about 5 sips of red wine yesterday (much less than half a glass) and have felt guilty ever since. Although drinking red wine once in a while is not descouraged, I choose not to for the time being. Also, I was a smoker before getting pregnant and every second night I dream of lighting a cigarette but haven't touched one in more than 5 months since I got pregnant. For me, it's a small sacrefice to make... it is not easy but I made a choice to give my baby the healthiest start at life possible. I am not judging those who do smoke, as I know many who have had healthy babies...however, I know that FOR ME, if I did continue smoking and my baby was born with asthma I would never be able to forgive myself. Everyone is different and to each their own xx

 

[lynys]

When my sister was pregnant, she was told flat out by her obgyn that she was to TRY and quit smoking, but, if she was finding it to be too stressful, to cut back to the bare minimum she needed.

After watching my parents try and try again to quit, my husband quit, and my sister try and quit during her pregnancies, I know for a fact the toll this addiction takes on the body.

It is VERY stressful, and that can put a lot of harm on a baby.

My mother smoked while pregnant with us and we are both fine. No problems. Back then, it wasn't as frowned upon as it is now, that is a fact.

Since being pregnant, I myself have had one small glass of red wine. I am not evil.

Some people need to step back and take a look at themselves before throwing stones at others.

 

[prmami25c]

I'm not really going to write an opinion in either direction, but don't studies say that they haven't proven how much alcohol it actually takes to develop fetal alcohol syndrome or other disorders..? They just know it can...So whether it be, one glass or whatever it takes, no one really knows the 100% truth. Also, there are contradicting studies about this issue..so it can be confusing..

 

[Jollybean]

Just cus someone gets the go ahead.......what the hell do they think is best for ur unborn baby?! or don't they care.

 

[jocelynmarie]

Yowza... I sure hope that people don't live in glass houses.

First of all, as far as the alcohol issue, there are studies that go in each direction. Some say absolutely none and some say small amounts is ok. I personally choose not to drink. I had a small sip of wine yesterday because it smelled so good, but I just wanted a quick taste. But I'm of the belief that if you want a glass of wine a week, its not going to cause the baby damage, just because I choose not to, does not believe I believe I have the right to judge others.

As far as smoking, it took me until last week to finally kick it. I cut back slowly the minute I found out I was pregnant. I've been a pack a day smoker for 10+ years... it was/and still is the hardest thing I've ever done. For my health and for the health of my LO its also the best thing I could have ever done. However, I KNOW how hard it is to stop. I know the stress it causes. It sucks, and it sucks bad.

We're all human though. We're all soon to be new mothers. Whether it be for the first time (or the 6th!!!!)

I'm single and I ended my relationship right before I found out I was pregnant. And I get judged left and right because I made that choice. It is obviously not the same thing as smoking, but being judged by others HURTS. No one wants to have others look down on them.

Our choices are our choices... whether others view them as right or wrong doesn't matter. You should respect people and treat them as you want to be treated.

 

[Sofiekirsten]

When my sister was pregnant, she was told flat out by her obgyn that she was to TRY and quit smoking, but, if she was finding it to be too stressful, to cut back to the bare minimum she needed.

After watching my parents try and try again to quit, my husband quit, and my sister try and quit during her pregnancies, I know for a fact the toll this addiction takes on the body.

It is VERY stressful, and that can put a lot of harm on a baby.

My mother smoked while pregnant with us and we are both fine. No problems. Back then, it wasn't as frowned upon as it is now, that is a fact.

Since being pregnant, I myself have had one small glass of red wine. I am not evil.

Some people need to step back and take a look at themselves before throwing stones at others.

Very well put.

Any thread about drinking or smoking during pregnancy is going to get heated.

I am not ashamed to say I am still smoking - I smoke roughly about 10 a day but I don't drink and I haven't drank for 18 months.

No one is perfect!

 

[Lauraaraa]

i dont think it is right.

but i didnt drink before becoming pregnant and i didnt smoke either so it is easy for me to say surely it cant be that hard dto stop as i dont know.

but i know if i had smoked or drank i would make sure i didnt whilst pregnant as all i would think about would be my baby.

i had an eating disorder, and bulimia kept coming back randomly before becoming pregnant, but as soon as i found out i was pregnant i havent made myself sick once, as i put my babys health first, i started eating proper meals etc.

i am veryyyy paranoid bout what i eat and drink now though, i wont drink tea, i used to drink it twice a day but i darent have it at all now.

but this is mainly because i have gone through the pain of a m/c and just wanted to do everything right.

so when i see ppl doing things they arent meant to when pregnant it upsets and annoys me

 

[catgirl]

i've chosen to give up smoking and apart from 2 very weak shandy's (we're talking 3/4 lemonade to 1/4 weak lager here, half pints) I have 'given' up drinking. This is my choice. I would not judge others.

 

[wishiwas]

Surely the fact she is attempting to cut back speaks more for her mothering capabilities than the fact she's still smoking? Addiction is very hard to overcome, and I don't imagine too many women in their right mind smoke/drink with the intention of harming their baby. Is it the "right" thing to do? No, we all know that. Are we humans with weaknesses and faults? Certainly.

 

[momma2be2011]

So I'm ready to take on the barage of negative comments I'm sure to receive. Let me first tell you that I have had 2 previous miscarriages and this is the furthest I have gotten in pregnancy. My doctor knows that I smoke, I told her from the very beginning, and I can actually say that she told me not to completely quit but to make sure I smoke no more then 4 a day when I get to that point. It was that straight forward with no room for interpretation. Everyones body reacts differently to things, just like every pregnancy is different. Some people become extremely sick and stressed when quitting smoking and it can and will affect your LO if that's how your body reacts.
I smoked 2 packs a day when I got pregnant. And even though I know that tons of you will think I am an extremely horrible mother, I've only been able cut myself down to 1 pack a day, but I'm honestly proud of that. Every day I get a little stronger.
I think a lot of people on here don't realise that nicotine addiction is said to be just as hard to kick as heroin. Research it, it's there!
Do I wish I was perfect? Of course! But don't sit here and judge those who are doing the best they can to fix their imperfections!

 

[Purple_poppy]

This seems to be the hot topic around here lately... this and people talking about all the things that are rec PG ladies don't do, and they are and are proud. I don't get it.

40 weeks is a tiny span of time in the lifetime of parenting. If one can't "suffer" through without their vices for the short time they are creating a life... then I just can't imagine what parenthood will do to them. Not drinking, not eating deli meat, not smoking, taking a prenatal, all these simple things... let me tell you - ALL pale in comparison to the sacrifices and hard times that come with being a parent.

Some ladies do everything they are supposed to, follow every rule, and sadly they don't get to come home with their baby. It's tragic, and horrid. And then I read the posts about people that can't be bothered to stop drinking, to stop smoking, to follow the simple rules given to us to keep our babies safe - for 40 weeks... and the subsequent posts validating all this simply because there was "nothing wrong" with so and so who did or didn't to this that and the other.

You are growing a human being, it's a miracle... I say, step outside of yourself for just a little while and stop being so selfish - feel BLESSED that you have your healthy baby inside you, and take care of it!

Sorry for the rant, I just can't imagine how people can be so selfish.

 

[Sofiekirsten]

This seems to be the hot topic around here lately... this and people talking about all the things that are rec PG ladies don't do, and they are and are proud. I don't get it.

40 weeks is a tiny span of time in the lifetime of parenting. If one can't "suffer" through without their vices for the short time they are creating a life... then I just can't imagine what parenthood will do to them. Not drinking, not eating deli meat, not smoking, taking a prenatal, all these simple things... let me tell you - ALL pale in comparison to the sacrifices and hard times that come with being a parent.

Some ladies do everything they are supposed to, follow every rule, and sadly they don't get to come home with their baby. It's tragic, and horrid. And then I read the posts about people that can't be bothered to stop drinking, to stop smoking, to follow the simple rules given to us to keep our babies safe - for 40 weeks... and the subsequent posts validating all this simply because there was "nothing wrong" with so and so who did or didn't to this that and the other.

You are growing a human being, it's a miracle... I say, step outside of yourself for just a little while and stop being so selfish - feel BLESSED that you have your healthy baby inside you, and take care of it!

Sorry for the rant, I just can't imagine how people can be so selfish.

I am a smoker and I smoke 10 a day and I am not ashamed to admit it.

I think calling people who do things that you wouldn't do selfish is abit harsh.

Smoking is an addiction if you don't smoke then you have no idea what it is like to try and quit somthing that for many people has been in there lifes for years.

 

[sjminimac]

i smoked for 10 years and tried to quit countless times, when i got my bfp i had one last cigarette (11pm, monday 14th december 2009) and haven't smoked since

 

[laila 44]

Athough everyone has their own view I must say that sometimes regardless of addictions or not, we must step aside and do whats best for our baby. I was a smoker too and quit the minute I got my BFP as well...it was hard but it needed to be done and that is something to be proud of. If you are smoking while pregnant, I can respect your choice but to be proud or "not ashamed of it" is another story...

 

[whit.]

I don't smoke or drink but i've never seen so many judgmental women, ever!

 

[Rachyroux]

My opinion, not wanting to offend at all. In fact I hope this helps people. Sadly I feel like I will get shit for this even though I'm not being nasty, but i can't sit here and read some things and not say anything at all.

So please realise this is my opinion, really not wanting to anger / or upset, and I hope it helps people try harder to stop.

I used to smoke, probably 15 a day, every day. NEVER thought I could quit smoking, tried and failed before.

The moment I found out I was pregnant I stopped completely.
I had 3 in the space of 18 weeks, so yes I caved, and yes it's SO hard, SO stressful. But I quit again, and again until I became smoke free. Now my other half leaves the room to smoke as I don't want to even breathe it in. And i'm sorry but I really don't understand the people who don't even give it a good go. Yes it's hard but your poor baby is breathing it in too.
Those three cigarettes, I felt so guilty about smoking them, I never finished them because the guilt would hit me and I put them out. I stillllll feeel guilty about those cigarettes.
So the people who say I smoke x ammount a day and thats fine, i'm not ashamed... It's not fine.? I felt so damned awful and ashamed about the few I smoked. How could you not?
And I KNOW it's hard, stressful, etc, I also came off antidepressants and oh god that was hard too.

I have Polycystic ovary syndrome, and doctors told me it's the main cause of infertility in women. So I feel blessed to have fallen pregnant naturally after a year, without any help.

My mum smoked during both her pregnancies on me and my brother. We were both in the 5lb range, and my brother was admitted to hospital with bronchitis when he was just a few months old. She will never admit that low birth weight and / breathing problems was to do with her smoking. Even though there's a good chance it was.

I haven't had one drink since I found out. Fetal Alcohol Syndrome exists, and if one glass of wine, or twenty could cause it, I'm not risking ANY. "Experts" Don't even know how much you can drink so that worries me.

I'm not saying anyone who drinks/ smokes during pregnancy is a bad person, at all. I'm just saying it's hard but you should try with all of your might, and people who think it doesn't do ANY harm, .. you only have to google "smoking/drinking during pregnancy" It's been researched etc.

People sadly lose babies all the time, I had one very early miscarriage myself, and a lot of those people do everything by the book, so smoking and drinking just increases risks that don't need to be taken. 9months, seems like a long time but in realitiy, isn't and my little one is worth the short ammount of time.

This is a contreversial topic, and seems to be getting heated, and do NOT want to argue with anyone if anything I hope someone is reading this wanting to stop, seek more support, try harder.

People who say "i smoked/ had a few drinks weekly during all pregnancies and my children are fine" Doesn't mean the next womans children will be, and sorry but reading that is a bad influence.
Your mother could have smoked whilst pregnant with you and you're fine, but my mother smoked during both with me and my brother, and he wasn't fine!

I wish anyone trying to stop drinking and / smoking the best of luck, and urge you to do it for your baby.
To those who have stopped, well done, it's a difficult thing to do.



xx

 

[fifi-folle]

I am unsubscribing from this thread, and will be limiting my use of this forum as I honestly believed this was a supportive community to help others deal with all the joys and worries of pregnancy. Instead what I am seeing is a bunch of sanctimonius, patronising women vilifying anyone who doesn't live by their standards. The only way in my opinion you have the right to criticise others is if you live a totally perfect life. So if you eat only organic food, take no processed foods, sugars, caffeine, eat 5 fruit and veg a day and take regular exercise then maybe I'll listen.
Personally I have had 4 m/cs, this baby is a blessing and I am doing everything I can to provide this baby the best start in life but I won't criticise others for their choices. We are all free to live our lives the way we wish. Other people will raise their children in ways you don't agree with but that does not make them bad people. You are more likely to get people to change their habits through education rather than picking on them.