How do I handle this? ( regards hitting at nursery)

[CormacksGirl]

Let me start by saying that in no way do I think my son is an angel, he has hurt two separate kids in nursery when he first started (January) I dealt with it and it hasn't happened since!!

Fast forward until about a month ago I have had to sign an incident sheet on three separate occasions regarding my son being scratched on the face, ( twice in one week ) and then today he was bitten on the back, all by the same child, how do I deal with this? Do I tell my son to stay away from this child? I definitely don't want to encourage the hitting back but I do want my son to stand up and not give up whatever toy he is playing with whenever this child comes near!

My plan was to go in early tomorrow and have a word with his key worker but I'm not sure what good it would do as I know the staff have their hands tied with how far they could go with disciplining and ultimately it is down to the child's mother to do the disciplining .

so what would be my best plan of action?

 

[Natasha2605]

I'd just go in and ask what measures they are taking to prevent this from occurring as you are unhappy with the incidents taking place. I know you said the disciplining is down to the mother but whilst that child is in the nursery's care they have a duty to ALL the children, and your son should not be hurt like he is.

 

[Eleanor ace]

I'd just go in and ask what measures they are taking to prevent this from occurring as you are unhappy with the incidents taking place. I know you said the disciplining is down to the mother but whilst that child is in the nursery's care they have a duty to ALL the children, and your son should not be hurt like he is.

This. The child's key worker should be keeping a close eye on the child who has been hitting, if they are a repeat offender (so to speak!). It is totally reasonable to have a chat with your LO's key worker and ask what is being done to protect your LO- it's not accusing them, just seeking reassurance that your LO is being kept safe and that the child who has been hurting him is being taught that it isn't OK.

 

[caz_hills]

My son too has been bitten and also bit another child. But this is repeating which is worrying. I agree with the others is speak to the key worker and explain how concerned you are about it and ask them what they are doing to ensure it doesn't happen again.

I agree that the nursery have to discipline the child when he or she is there - the mother isn't there so can't see it but they can follow up with the child to reinforce it not happening again. But I would speak to the nursery Hun and explain your concerns.

X

 

[NoodleSnack]

3 times by the same child is worrying. He shouldn't have to worry about standing up for himself, the nursery staffs are the ones who's supposed to do that, if they let the same child hurt another child 3 separate times, they are not doing enough. I would demand more or look for a new place if they give me attitude since I can't trust them to look after my child.

 

[jd83]

Agree with the others, I'd be speaking with the staff to see what they are doing to intervene/prevent this from happening. While the kids are in their care, they need to be taking responsibility for preventing incidents as much as possible. When this has repeatedly happened, clearly there's a pattern between these kids of aggression that they should be trying to prevent before it escalates. The mother can only do so much, since she isn't there when its happening, and likely doesn't happen at home. I say this from having a biter. He NEVER bit at home, so when I'd get reports of it all I could really do was tell him its not nice to bite, we play nice, etc but how do you really handle that with such a young child when they never do it in your presence? The parent should be speaking with the staff, as well, about how they'd like staff to handle these incidents as far as looking out for triggers to the behavior, intervening when they start to see triggers, etc to keep it from happening again.

 

[CormacksGirl]

Thanks ladies, I'm gonna try and get in early tomorrow and have a word before the other mums turn up.

I know when my son hurt the other kids when he first started the staff would remove him from the situation and explain how he had hurt the other children and how it wasn't nice behaviour. I also spent time at home with him telling him it wasn't nice to do that and that the boys & girls were getting scared. This helped him settle!

I have seen the type of behaviour this child displays on a trip to the beach when I was helping out and he did seem to be a handful. I think I'll ask for them to be kept separated!