How do you let someone down gently?!

[louandivy]

So I went on two dates recently - a guy in London and a New Zealander in Brighton. I had an amazing date with the Londoner, we really hit it off and we had another date last night which turned out equally as well. The New Zealander was SUPER nice and it was a good date but I just don't think he is my type...he seemed quite nervous at first and he was dressed really 'indie' which I'm not attracted to at all (not shallow at all me ).

So the new zealander has asked me out on another date next week and I am not really interested but don't know what to doooo, he is SO so nice and lives really close to the new house I am moving into, so even though I am tempted to just ignore him (i'm a bitch) I can't risk bumping into him and having a very awkward interaction later on! What do you guys reckon is the best thing to say?!

 

[Boomerslady]

I'd say something along the lines of 'I think you're a really lovely guy, and I had a great time but sadly I didn't really feel the chemistry I need for anything more to develop'. Chemistry is always my get out card! If it isn't there you can't force it no matter how nice or cute they are.

 

[starangel27]

I'm rubbish at this I'd just ignore him because I'm a wimp

 

[louandivy]

Ahhh thanks BoomersLady - eeeeek that just seems to forward, argh! Hahaha starangel that was my initial plan but he literally lives like 2 minutes away from the house I'm moving into so I'll be digging myself a very awkward grave if I do that I've never really done proper dating before I'm not used to this at all!

 

[mummy_ellie09]

I'm with Boomerslady on this xx

 

[stephx]

Errrr I would totally ignore! Super awkward though

 

[louandivy]

Argh Steph its so awkward, maybe dating isnt really my thing I can't deal with this crap Hope you are doing well?

 

[amazed]

I'd prob say although you really like him right now isn't the right time to get into a relationship for u or something like that x

 

[starangel27]

Maybe just say u don't think your quite ready for dating yet and hope he doesn't see you out with your other date.

 

[beth_terri]

I would text him (because I'm a chicken), and just say sorry, you had a really nice time but there wasn't any chemistry so you don't think another dates a good idea. X

 

[louandivy]

Maybe just say u don't think your quite ready for dating yet and hope he doesn't see you out with your other date.

LOL yeah that would be pretty terrible!

Oh god Beth I was always gonna text him, yikes I am def not brave enough for anything more personal haahaha

 

[Boomerslady]

I was deffo gonna say text him! No way could that be said face to face or on the phone! I'm sure he'd much rather know that than be ignored. When I was online dating I had a lot of 'first' dates. I've stayed good friends with a couple just be honest. Also put yourself in his shoes. Would you rather be ignored or told your just not the right one?

 

[louandivy]

tbh I think I'd rather be ignored

 

[Boomerslady]

Hahaha fair enough!!! It's such a horrible situation, I had one guy (who I knew from 5 seconds in I didn't like) texting me the second I got on a bus home saying how he really liked me etc. I told him it wasn't for me and I was bombarded with please babe, we could work msgs. The shame!!

 

[louandivy]

Omg whaaaatt that is psycho behaviour - some people have no dignity I swear!

 

[babyjan]

I would just ignore tbh, I'd feel so bad and sorry for someone to let them down lol

 

[Boomerslady]

Or if you've only had one text, and that's how u communicate, just ignore and if you do bump into him pretend u never got the text, and you're really sorry but your dating someone now, damn modern technology!!! Orr LO dropped your phone down the loo and you lost all your numbers so u couldn't reply!!

ETA: what was even worse about the man with no dignity, he then went on my POF profile and left a message about me that everyone could see saying how wonderful I was etc and he was gutted I wasn't his!! Seriously I was quite rude during the date cause I wanted to leave. On reflection I don't think he got that many chances for a date bless him!!

 

[Broody85]

See, I think the right thing to do is just tell this guy that he isn't for you BUT I know if it was me I would just keep "being busy" when he wanted to meet and hope he got the hint

 

[louandivy]

Hahaaha I love all of these ideas - the 'being busy' one does seem slightly genius though. Evil but genius

 

[deafgal]

This actually happened to me when I dated my husband. I told the truth and told him I met someone. He was hurted but he accepted and moved on.


He also found a woman of his dream too and married her.