How to change midwife & Health visitor and put in a complaint?

[starbucks101]

Hi Girls,

Just wondering if any of you had any ideas where on earth i would start with this. I am extremely unhappy with the care im recieving from ym MW & HV and I don't wish to see either of them again during or after my pregnancy.

I am also very close to putting in a complaint to the nursing and midwifery council.

I'm not sure where to ask that I dont see either of these people again and how I can make sure they no longer have access to any information about me and my children?

I was thinking of ringing my GP on monday but I'm also thinking of seeing if i can change doc surgery to what comes under a different district to both the HV & MW, but i dont think any of the other surgerys will take us on from where we live!

I cant sleep because im so stressed about everything thats going on with them

 

[DueMarch2nd]

Sorry to say I dont have any knowledge for you but that sounds awful. Hope you get it sorted soon last thing you need is stress

 

[xbabybumpx]

i cant really offer any advice. but i hope you get it sorted hunni xox

 

[passengerrach]

no info for you but that sounds horrible what have they done?

 

[AngelzEye]

Sounds awful, right when you really don't need anymore stress.

The below is from birthchoiceUK - hope it helps

"Complaints Procedures
If you are having difficulty arranging the maternity care you want or would like help to complain about maternity care you have received, then contact Association for Improvements in Maternity Services (AIMS). AIMS provide information about your choices and rights, and will also give emotional support and encouragement.

If during your labour you are unhappy with the service you are receiving then you should ask to see the Supervisor of Midwives.

If you wish to complain about your maternity care or any treatment you received then you should start by making sure you have a copy of all your medical records from the hospital, including handwritten records, computer records and any memos or letters relating to your case. Once you have done that, you can contact AIMS, or contact the hospital, or ring one of the following numbers for advice on how to proceed.

If you go to a meeting at the hospital to discuss your complaint, make sure that you are accompanied by a sympathetic person who was not involved at the time. Make sure also that you receive minutes of any meeting and that they reflect accurately what happened.

You should expect to receive a full written explanation and an apology if appropriate.

England
Ring NHS Direct 0845 4647, they will direct you to the right person to approach.

If this approach fails then ring the Health Service Commissioner for England (Ombudsman) on 020 7276 2035"

good luck x

 

[starbucks101]

Thanks girls, The are just being busy bodies. Ive missed 2 antenatal care appointments, one due to being ill which i cancelled and one due to the weather, one of these appointments was my GTT, 28 week bloods & anti-d, and the next was the re-schedule of them,

Because i was working 50-60 hours a weeks as my OH was out of work.Suposedly because of trying to make up the income and keep a roof over our heads, this obviously means i do not care for my baby or my 2yr old? .

I would rather not now my baby had a disability until it was born (like most parents dont know!) than lose the roof i am working to put over its head! I'm livid and feel very let down. You would think those kind of people would understand but talking to them is a complete waste of time they just belittle and slag you off.

They are saying because of some fits I had earlier in my pregnancy & because ive missed 2 appointments I wont be able to look after my own children. Ive done everything they've said when they set ridiculas tasks for me to acheive to prove to them that i am fine out of fear more than anything. But i refuse to be a doormat to this ridiculas accusation & complete anymore ridiculas tasks...

My midwife has written in my notes that she has concerns i wont be able to cope with 2! Well that the last bloody straw for me. It has absolutley nothing to do with my antenatal care & her opinon has no medical grounding what-so-ever, and im getting pretty f*cked off being judged by 2 stuck up women who think that spending an hour in my home gives them the right to dictate my life to me.

I work really f*cking hard to give my daughter a good lifestyle with no help from her dick of a father, Im now off work and have been to get the bloods and anti-d done, GTT is next week and almost everything is ready for baby, Ive even shown them the crib up etc...

I will not spend the last of pregnancy like this Ive had an awful pregnancy and a horrible time at work but ive always felt safe in my own home and now I dont.

Im so angry and pissed off I keep crying, but so happy that baby is nearly here, Em is so excited so are me & OH, We have a lovely home and my OH has just got himself a new really good job which means we will be atleast comfortable with budgeting on Mat leave instead of getting debt.

I don't want my baby tarnished because of this complete farce, I can't understand why this is happening to my family?

 

[Celesse]

They are saying because of some fits I had earlier in my pregnancy & because ive missed 2 appointments I wont be able to look after my own children. Ive done everything they've said when they set ridiculas tasks for me to acheive to prove to them that i am fine out of fear more than anything. But i refuse to be a doormat to this ridiculas accusation & complete anymore ridiculas tasks...

My midwife has written in my notes that she has concerns i wont be able to cope with 2! Well that the last bloody straw for me. It has absolutley nothing to do with my antenatal care & her opinon has no medical grounding what-so-ever, and im getting pretty f*cked off being judged by 2 stuck up women who think that spending an hour in my home gives them the right to dictate my life to me.

Midwives and health visitors don't just look after the physical stuff, but they also are meant to help with the social side and to make sure the family's can cope and the children will be safe. There are certain indications that women may struggle, such as missing appointments.

I think your explanations are totally reasonable and that the big problem here is communication... ie... they are not taking the time to listen to you. However if you move to another nearby GP surgery and change your Midwife and Health Visitor the current ones will hand over your care and talk to the new ones about their concerns. So it wont be an totally fresh start.

I would suggest staying calm and if you can to start having someone else with you during appointments. If you have someone with you it will make it easier for you to get your explanation across.

 

[starbucks101]

I understand they have a duty of care etc... but they refuse to listen to me or my OH when they come round I've rung NHS direct & got some infor and will be ringing to speak to my GP on monday morning aswell.

I don't think threatening pregnant mums with referrals to SS is fair. By all means SS can come to my home and see my happy healthy bubbly 2yr old and all the family support OH and I have and see its a complete waste of time and money when they should be bothering with someone who's actually harming there children...

The other thing thats pissed me off is So what i have missed some appointments where is the law i have to have all these tests that are mostly unneccisary to be a good mother? Women have had babies for thousands of years without everybody sticking their oar in.

 

[Nix]

You dont have to have the tests hun. You are entitled to decline them and they will just make a note of that in your notes. They may be a little worried because you accepted the tests and then didnt go for them. Its hard to know what there prob is I guess. They shouldnt be making you feel like this though. I hope you manage to get it sorted. xx

 

[XxXBubsXxX]

When i was pregnant with my daughter i went for a routine 29 week appointment and i had bloods taken at 28 weeks just to check everything routinly. Well.... this midwife looked at my results and said "Well your liver is struggling so you are obviously a heavy drinker, do you know the damage you could do to your baby?".... well i couldnt believe my ears!!!! I wouldnt mind but i dont drink when im not preg, let alone when i am!!! Then i asked the position of the baby and she said "well i dont really think thats relevent to you" and gave me the dirtiest look EVER!! Like i shouldnt know becos i was a piss head!! Well i was VERY emotional during that pregnancy and it really upset me, i made a complaint and she wasnt aloud to come anywhere near me, i compained to my community midwife, the one that upset me was at the anti-natel clinic at the hos) and a note was put on my records. Anyways....month after i had my daughter i was rushed to hos with extreme pain, quite a while later i was diagnosed with gallstones and pancritis, i was told that i had damage to my liver from the gallstones getting stuck and the bile going back up the wrong way. STUPID F-ING MIDWIFE!! So this pregnancy i made sure i had a note on my file before i even went to that hos so i didnt have to see her, she was still working there and i gave HER the dirtiest look ever!!! Ha ha. Silly Bitch she is!

 

[starbucks101]

Its not just me that has awful midwife experiences then! The first baby i had my midwife was amazing she understood everything about the relationship i'd left etc... and was superb through-out my whole pregnancy, this midwife acts like she's got a bollard up her a*se and is better than everyone else.

 

[passengerrach]

aww bless you they sound absolutely awful hope you can get rid of them

 

[claireyfairy]

I do really sympathise with you as they are clearly jumping to conclusions. But on the other hand I know from experience that staff working with children are currently under a lot of pressure from management becaue of cases like baby P's.
As a teacher I know that staff are more aware then ever and don't want to ever feel that they have failed a child or a family.

That said even if there was an issue-which there clearly isn't-the first step is always to provide support not critiscm and judgement.