How to deal with disappointed reactions??

[LeahLou]

So my husband and I have been trying on and off for a couple years with several losses. Just found out that we are pregnant and were ecstatic!!
My mother however is not. I just told her tonight by having my daughter give her a "best big sister ever" shirt and my mother said "...what?.... I'm scared to ask...."

I'm devastated. My husband and I had a rough couple months last year. He and my mom have always had issues but this is just upsetting. She's also said that our losses are "gods will" and that maybe it's a sign.

I'm so upset and angry but I just want to be happy and enjoy. What would you do?

 

[kmr1763]

That makes me sad I have no advice. I know that it will be difficult to be happy and enjoy your pregnancy when your mom isn't being supportive. But she loves your daughter, right? She will love new babe, too. Maybe withhold telling her about things, just to avoid hearing negativity. I'm sorry that you are dealing with that. DO try to enjoy and be excited even if she isn't!

 

[Jaxvipe]

Hey leahlou!! I'm so happy for you!! Congrats!!!

Ugh that's the worst, Im so sorry your mom reacted this way.

I am terrified to tell my mom because I know she isn't going to be happy. But she'll get over it and will come around eventually.

 

[Ally2015]

my mum wasn't happy because of the timing of my pregnancy (neither me or my partner are earning much, and a lot of other family things going on), but i didn't let her disappointment upset me. There were other people i told, other close members of the family and my best friends who are all ecstatic and so very happy.
So whilst your mums reaction might hurt, focus on those who are happy about it and i have no doubt that in a few months time your mum will be excited to be a grandmother again!

So if i were you- I would just get on with life, and be happy and healthy for your little baby.

All the best!

 

[ladyV84]

My mum was very vocal about the fact that she didn't think we should have a third baby! All I'd ever hear was oh don't know why you'd want a third, back to all the crying and nappies etc..!
However since we told her and she's had a few weeks to let it sink in she's not said one negative thing- just been v helpful with thinking if what we'll need to get organised along the way! Maybe give your mum
A couple of weeks. Maybe she's also doesn't want to get too excited too early. Mum mum said last time round she could only relax once if had the 12 week scan..
Don't feel down it's wonderful news & your mum will come round xxx

 

[JennaF]

go to specialist

 

[LeahLou]

Thank you for all the support ladies!!

After a couple hours, she came back and apologized. She's a little excited now. But my guard is still up.

Yall are the best for support and kind words!

 

[sausages]

Aw i'm glad she came back to apologise to you. Still upsetting to hear in the first place though.

I'm also dreading telling my mum. Like ladyV84 she has been very vocal about us not having a third baby. She is a worrier and because of our previous losses she will worry worry worry all the time and that's why she doesn't want it. I'm waiting as long as i possibly can before i tell her.

 

[kirklandsue22]

Congrats, but that is a tough one. Not sure what I would do in that situation

 

[LeahLou]

Hmmmm I would almost want to wait to tell your mom sausages! We all worry but when someone close is worrying too it's intensified.

My momma asked me how I was feeling this morning and gave my belly a hug haha. I think were through the worst. Hopefully!

 

[icegurl470]

I was worried my mom would be disappointed too because I told her I was going off BC after my wedding and she told me to hold off until we had been married at least a year. I didn't listen to her and went of BC and immediately got preggers lol, but she was supportive. Honestly, even if it isn't the best thing people should be supportive, especially family and friends, because whats done is done there's no going back so you might as well embrace it. As far as the comment she made about your losses that's just terrible, if you got pregnant isn't that God's will too? Maybe you were meant to have some losses first so you would better appreciate the gift you've been given. I'm sure she'll come around and hopefully apologize for her initial reaction, she was probably just in shock.

 

[sausages]

Ah it does sound like fences have been mended.

 

[Blu10]

I wonder if maybe your mum is scared because of your losses? My mum couldnt get excited when i told her i was expecting again as she was scared for me due to previous losses and id just accepted a new job a few days prior. Shes now really excited. Congrats on your pregnancy x

 

[lilmisscaviar]

My mother was always like that. With my first I was 6 months a newlywed but living with her until we found a house of our own and it came as a shock to her. She kept asking me "How are you going to support it living at home? Where are you going to put it? We only have two bedrooms." We finally found a house we liked when I was 8 months pregnant and were going through the process of buying it when DD was born. We moved in when she was a month old.

Fast forward to a few months later when I found out I was expecting again (my kids are only 12 months apart). We had a 4 bedroom house, were living together, had income coming in and when I told my mother it STILL came as a shock to her. It took a week or so but eventually it sunk in and she was bringing me baby clothes every week so I "had enough". I think she just likes buying baby clothes

This time, when I told her I was expecting a third, her initial reaction was "This was an accident, right? You have a girl and a boy. What more do you want?" Gee, thanks mom. After a week though she came around and is now looking forward to it more than ever.

 

[xdxxtx]

This is my fourth pregnancy, and I've been through this quite a few times, with each baby. Nothing I can say can make you feel better. Just know that you're not alone.