How to suggest IUI to DH? Update, bottom p. 1

[mammag]

I really want to try IUI. After more than 4 years TTC with no luck, I just need to do something more. I have a list of the costs from my Doctor, and all I need to do is tell them I am ready and we will start the process. So thing is, how do I approach this subject with DH? He takes the more "just relax and it will happen" mindset. Which makes me want to cut him So how do I talk him into going full on with this, money wise and how invasive it all is? I'm sorry if I worded this wrong. But the au natural and medicated cycles are obviously not working. I need to do something more.

 

[Berrysmoothie]

It's a hard enough conversation when you are both on side....I would gather as much info as you can on success rates, the process, how you feel and what it means to you and sit him down. I don't know how old you are, but if you are older explain that "just relax" is not working and that age and time can work against you. Ask him to listen to you fully and to think about it before making any decisions or immediate responses.

I have done my first round of iui and luckily my DH is very onside....you need his support in all ways for this. Arm him with positive information and positive results and hopefully that will hlp him see its a good thing. Good luck x

 

[mammag]

I'm 27, but I was only 23 when we started trying, so I am much older than when we started. And I have explained to him, in depth, that something is obviously WRONG, and that "relaxing" just isn't going to cut it. The only thing is, I don't know how success rates apply to me. There is nothing wrong with either of us, his SA was good, I ovulate, tubes are clear. Nothing should be stopping us from getting pregnant. So it's just confusing, at least if I knew what was wrong, we would have an idea about how to fix it. But alas, we are in no f'ing clue limbo

 

[Berrysmoothie]

Your situation sounds similar to me...DH sa was all good. I had laparoscopy and all fine and clear...only thing is I am 34 now....we TTC'd naturally for 4 yrs. if he went to an appt with you and doctor suggested iui would it help....coming from a doc and not you "speeding" the process up in his eyes? If you have already tried clomid and timed intercourse then iui would seem to be the next logical step.... I wish I could help more x

 

[mammag]

Thanks Maybe coming from the doc it would sound more "important" lol. And yes, that's what the doc said is the most logical next step. I just hope DH is up for it. Men can be so fickle.

 

[Berrysmoothie]

Good luck with it all, hope he is on board with the idea.....after all it's you that goes through the physical side of it all!

 

[foxykins]

maybe if you made a appointment with the docs and just see him urself first and explain all this to him and ask him would he have a word regarding iui. Ive made myself clear to my OH regarding this. Im TCC for 6 months then if i dont have a we are going to go into IUI. im 36 so i refuse to wait around

 

[readyformore]

I have to admit that my husband has always been reluctant to do IUI, (and we've done a total of 8 ).

Mine has never liked the idea of course, but it turns out that he can be really supportive of my choices. And perhaps he could see just how miserable infertility made me and he was really trying like mad to make me feel better, (although he does have his limits, and IUI is it. There will be no IVF for us, and that's ok).

I would say just what you said to us. That it's really important to you and that you feel you need to do more.

I would definitely take him to the doctor's appointment with you. You both will need to get all of the info straight and 2 sets of ears are better than one.
The doc can give you statistics on success as well. It's typically equivilent to a natural cycle; unless you do injectable/IUI, which will bump up your chances a bit.
I have done IUI at the ages of 24 and 34 for unexplained infertility. Both times, I was told 20% chance of success per cycle when we had been ttc for 1 year. Now that I am up to two years of ttc and 4 IUIs without a bfp, my success rate per cycle of IUI is only 5%.

The statistics certaintly aren't encouraging at all. And I can truthfully say that doing IUI with kids and their schedules is a nightmare..............but, as my husband says, "We gave it a college try." I can look back and say that I really truthfully tried for another baby and I was proactive, regardless of outcome.

You can tell your husband that it is much more affordable and much less invasive than IVF, that might help as well. Maybe tug on his heart strings about how the kids are only getting older, the age gap is getting wider, etc. If you really want to pull out the big guns.......maybe ask him about it right after sex when he is all happy and relaxed and ready to give you the world.

Good luck.

 

[GemmaG]

I have to agree I would take steps to set up appointments and try not to leave it any longer! I was in the same position as you started trying in 2006 and my husband was of the same mindset.... It will happen when it happens. Long story short after 4yrs TTC I made a move and he went along with it all my tests were clear his SA all good but still didn't get pregnant. Final SA test at a different hospital showed antisperm antibodies in my husbands sample. Apparently not all hospitals test for this so a long 6 years later we are finally nearly at the top of the list for ICSI. Go for it!!!!

 

[mammag]

So, apparently, it was a whole lot easier than I expected it to be. I just got off the phone with my sister, who told me she is pregnant, this will be her 7th, her third since I've been TTC. her youngest is jut 8 months old. So, yeah; needless to say, I cried and DH brought up the IUI. All by himself. Love him

 

[mammag]

So just called my Doc to ask how I get started with the IUI, and I'm going to have it THIS MONTH??!!! Had NO idea it would be so fast. I'm so excited. God this just has to work. Please please let it work.

 

[Bump2B]

good luck mammag, fingers crossed for you hun! x