I guess I belong in this section?

[Natnee]

I don't really feel like I really fit into any of the sections on this forum at the moment. I have a 4 year old but a lot of the things in the toddler section are about younger babies/children. I suppose I really fit into the losses section as I lost my baby a month ago, but there's not really a lot of activity in there, which is good I guess. But I don't want to stay in there.

I suppose I am wtt, but still awaiting details of the post mortem on Poppy and tests that were carried out on me to find out, if anything, what went wrong. Early details say there was nothing wrong with my baby. I will be needing to know if there was anything else wrong (with me) that caused her to die.

Otherwise I will possibly ttc again in a few months maybe.

I've read a few posts where people are asking how long to wait. Some people are wanting to try for another baby 6 months after having a baby but HAVE another baby to look after, so maybe thats too soon for them. But I have no baby to look after now so I guess I can try in a few months. But when are our bodies truly ready to go through a pregnancy again? I don't have age on my side, i'm 38, and just don't want to be into my 40's having babies. With both Belle and Poppy I fell pregnant straight away, I mean we only dtd once that month when I conceived Poppy, but what if it doesn't happen that quickly next time. I can't afford to be waiting months to try again, if it doesn't happen quickly again, as I said my age plays on my mind. I guess there's the psychological aspect of being worried x1000 more than usual during another pregnancy. How will I cope for 9 months worrying about things. Afterall, I sailed through my last pregnancy really well, all scans etc were fine. It just went horribly wrong at the last possible moment, for reasons we might never know. I just so badly want another baby it hurts so much.

 

[callmedan]

Didn't want to read and run, just want to say I am so sorry for your loss, both of your little girls have such beautiful names
We have a lot of uncertainty on here so if your not sure or anything feel free to question/rant/vent to us on here!

 

[Buttercup84]

Firstly, i'm so sorry for your loss Secondly, I think whenever you feel ready to try again is the right time. A friend of mine lost her first son at 37 weeks in December 2010 and started trying again pretty much immediately once her doctor gave the go ahead. Her second son was born in December 2011

 

[Natnee]

Firstly, i'm so sorry for your loss Secondly, I think whenever you feel ready to try again is the right time. A friend of mine lost her first son at 37 weeks in December 2010 and started trying again pretty much immediately once her doctor gave the go ahead. Her second son was born in December 2011

Thank you. It gives me a little glimmer of hope to hear and read of stories like this.

 

[bucherwurm]

I don't have experience myself, but someone I used to work with was in a very similar situation as yourself. She lost her full term baby in January, and has a 4/5 year old at home. Evidently, she got pregnant that March, and just announced her due date for early December.
You know you will never forget your second baby. It seems quick, but if you're ready, you're ready.

 

[Eleanor ace]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughter . My brother died when he was 4 days old after complications with his birth and my parents had my next brother 1 year and 10 days later. Like you my mother needed another baby, and although she was obviously very worried during the pregnancy (and was with my pregnancies too) my brother was healthy and she says that having him saved her from falling into depression that she couldn't get out of and that while of course he didn't replace her lost child he did give her the child she needed to love and raise, what she'd been preparing for in every way since finding out she was pregnant the first time.

 

[Symphony7]

So sorry to hear about your baby! How terrible for your family to go through. I don't have any experience but wanted to lend some support.

 

[Natnee]

Thanks for replies. Well I am one step closer to being out of wtt and into ttc. Got first af since Poppy was born, 6 weeks ago. It was 6 weeks after Belle was born, so a little bit encouraging for me to think my body is regulating itself in exactly the same way as before. Hopefully will get cycle back now so I know roughly when o'ing. I seem to remember it went back on track straight away after I had Belle, well I don't remember any long gaps in between af's. Also have appointment with consultant on wedneday to get all post mortem and test results, so the results of that will also be a big influence on where we go from here.

 

[Eleanor ace]

I hope the meeting brings you good (for want of a better word) news and that the day isn't too hard on you . Great news that your af returned, I hope you regulate quickly.

 

[KalonKiki]

I am so sorry for your loss hun, I cannot imagine the pain that you and your OH must be going through.

Honestly, there are a lot of risk factors that come with conceiving too soon after a pregnancy (not counting early loss). I have no idea what the statistics are about those though, for all I know they could only effect 5% of all women. The best thing that you can do is ask your gyno for guidance and see what they have to say. The general rule of thumb appears to be "9 months in, 9 months out" at the very least, but I've also seen information that suggests 18 months at the very least.

 

[Natnee]

Well all the tests done came back clear. There was nothing wrong with Poppy and there was nothing wrong with me. There were indications something had started to go wrong with her at about 38/39 weeks, but the cause not known.

The consultant suggested to wait a few cycles and also be mentally ready to be pregnant again. We are off on holiday in July so will at least wait til after then.

 

[Buttercup84]

Glad the tests came back clear in the sense that a future baby will almost certainly be fine but I imagine it's hard for you not to have clear answers as to what happened to little Poppy Hope you enjoy your hol and wishing you all the very best for when you start TTC after

 

[KalonKiki]

I'm glad that the tests came back fine for you so that any potential future babies are not at such risk, but I'm sorry that there are still no answers for you as to what happened to little Poppy. I hope the best for you TTC and that your next baby is happy and healthy and lives a long, full life.