icsi in 2011?

[GillAwaiting]

Ah girls it was not to be. Ive been having very sharp back pains the last few days, I knew it wasn't a good sign. The heavy bleeding has just started. I'll have to either go the local hospital or back to the clinic tomorrow to have a scan and confirm. I wish I knew what the hell the problem was. Imagine out of three in there and all the meds, not one could hold on.

 

[k2chick]

Hi Ladies

Can i join in please? I'm hoping to start icsi sometime next year. We're hoping to get our funding letter through soon and then predict we'll be able to start in March time

Its been a lonely journey so far as hubby and I dont have anyone to really talk to about it so i could really do with the support.

I have a feeling we'll be lucky ladies in 2011

x

Can I join too?
Ive been given dates for feb 13! I should have gone ahead in jan but failed on my weight (it was after christmas ) But they accepted me in oct up until this point I hadnt told anyone not even my parents it was just the two of us I found this site yesterday & is very interesting im hoping it cn help me through out!!

 

[k2chick]

Ah girls it was not to be. Ive been having very sharp back pains the last few days, I knew it wasn't a good sign. The heavy bleeding has just started. I'll have to either go the local hospital or back to the clinic tomorrow to have a scan and confirm. I wish I knew what the hell the problem was. Imagine out of three in there and all the meds, not one could hold on.

I ve just started on this site and have gone only 3 pages back im sorry cant remeber your name but i was sad for you reading your feeds then excited and thought wow this woman needs good news and I do not know you but im sending you lots of hugs as its very sad why can random p**s heads & druggies throw them out and genuine people go through all this suffering ? ( am i allowed to write this stuff?)

 

[annie25]

gill i just dont know what to say, i'm so so sorry hun i just cant believe this! life is so cruel everything you have been through is just horrid. please please keep trying im sure you will get your forever baby one day soon!

sending all my love to you dh and family

annie xxxxxxx

 

[annie25]

welcome k2 i hope that in feb your treatment goes well xx

 

[GillAwaiting]

Oh girls, my saga goes on and on. The bleeding has subsided. Went to clinic this morning and had one of the most thorough scans ever. Turns out there is a hematoma there (some kind of blood clot). It looked pretty big on screen. Dr said it may or may not be anything to worry about and they don't know what causes it - could possibly be the empty sac.

Embryo is measuring 2 days behind. It should be 7+3 but is only measuring 7+1 with a heartbeat of 148bpm. i have an appointment for a follow up scan next week.

Gotta tell you girls, Im just numb. Was so upset last night and said goodbye to the pregnancy for the third time. Every week it's something different. If it's not to be, I wish it would just be over and not dragged out torture.

 

[Nayla82]

Hi Girls,

Im so sorry time as passed and not really been on here...

Im trying to read back a few pages.. Congratulations Annie the scan is beautiful Gill so sorry this is a very testing time for you, i pray and pray and pray that you will be fine.....

Love to everyone else... I have missed you girls alot.

AFM I had my 3rd Failed IVF/ICSI Yesterday, im very numb, they put Three 5 Cells Embryos all Grade 1 on a Day 2, She told me they were PERFECT... I had Therapy throughout the Treatment.. yet yesterday BFN....

Not got a clue where to go from here or what to do?? I have had a Hysterscopy, I have had a Biopsy of the Uterus... (all clear) I have had every Immune tests done... I was injecting myself with HIBOR 2500IU through out the whole 2ww (she said it stops blood clotting if thats a problem?) they were very painful and both my thighs are just black and blue...

Im very very shocked... the Doctor told me she is baffled and needs to talk to someone else now?? There is NOTHING to indicate why it should not work? what started with my husbands low sperm count its got very confusing...

On day 2 when my embryos were 5 Cells she was over the moon..

Here I am again and NO Frosties again... Do I want a 4th IVF?? Im tired and very scared......

 

[GillAwaiting]

Oh Nayla Im so so sorry that the cycle didn't work. It's really nice to hear from you but so sorry that it's not good news you were getting to share. I didn't know you were doing the next cycle so soon. For some reason I had the new year in my head for you. It really is baffling why it didn't work. It sounds like the odds were so good. It's really hard to know where to turn or what options are out there. I'd say your Christmas was as happy as ours was. I spent most of it in bed at my mothers so at least DH could have a normal family day and not have to spend it with my miserable sick ass. Did your doc have any suggestions at all? Steroids, things like that? Not that I can recommend them to be honest, they've made me pretty miserable but anything is worth a shot. How is your DH? It's such a big step to decide to go again. Maybe they could treat it empirically and fire everything at you? I hope you are ok Nayla. We shall all write off 2011 as a disaster but hopefully a learning year.

The HCG injections have me sick as a dog these days. You know that feeling you get just right before you throw up, that intense nausea, well that is how I feel all of the time. Its horrendous. The disgusting taste in my mouth won't go away no matter what and I can't eat. I wouldn't mind so much if I thought things were ok but honestly after what happened with the last m/c - heartbeat kept going for 2 weeks after embryo stopped growing, I suspect we are back there again. Our next scan is Thursday. Im counting the hours. Interesting to see what's happening with the hematoma. If the embryo isn't where it needs to be growth wise, DH and I have decided after much soul searching that Im coming off all the meds that day and nature will take it's course. I have an older brother who is mentally challenged with lots of major health problems. It's not genetic, things went wrong in the womb. It makes me hyper aware though that we don't want to sustain a pregnancy with medication that is genetically wrong.

We may or may not try our frozen egg. A long chat with the cons will help to decide that one. I think our option is to go for donated eggs and sperm. We've done all the genetic testing we could go already so Im thinking there might be something wrong that science just isn't able to recognise yet and we're not willing to spend time and money trying to figure it out. Our last shot will be donar eggs and sperm. And I wouldn't even try one or the other, we'll do both. We are getting to the stage in the adoption process where we have to put fertility treatment on the back burner as they won't allow you to run the two concurrently. So we gotta make choices. We can put them off for a month or two but we can't put it off too long as the paperwork would have to be all updated again too soon.

With the grace of god, the decision will be taken from us on Thursday and this time I'll have a d & c. Im not waiting 3 weeks for nature to kick in if the heartbeat has gone. The last two m/c's were torture. We chose at the time not to do a d & c in case of scarring effecting future pregnancies but honestly now, I think it can't leave us any worse. There is something wrong with either the eggs or sperm when we keep losing pregnancies at the same point and this time I had every bit of medication around to try to conquer all other possible problems.

Please let 2012 be a better year for everyone here.

 

[Lolly1985]

Hello ladies

Oh Gill, I have been reading back over the past few pages and my heart goes out to you. To have this dream snatched away twice already and still to be left in limbo must be unbelievably hard I'm so sorry you are being put through this and really am hoping for this to end well. Your consultant sounds wonderful and like she wants this nearly as much as you. Donar eggs and sperm sound like a proactive next step, but here's hoping you don't get there. Thinking of you my lovely

Nayla, so sorry to hear your sad news. I know how even after each fail you still have the hope that next time might be the one. After three you do start questioning. But I would never say i'm never trying again and you sound like you are pushing for another cycle, so good for you. I think that changing clinics will be a positive step, even if its just for your mental state of feeling like you are doing something. That in turn can be a very good thing. I really hope this hasn't set you back to square one, sweetie, I know that nothing I say will change the pain, but know you are doing all you can and I am thinking of you

Annie, I hope you and baby remain well, rooting for you all the way!

Tinks, hope that you have had a lovely Christmas and are ready for your FET. It won't be too much longer now

AFM... have had a good family Christmas. Still on for starting the adoption process soon. Wish we didn't have to wait, feel like I have been ready for this next step for many years. Hoping that 2012 can mark a fresh start, both physically and mentally. have had many ups and downs the last few weeks, more good days now though, and have got some herbal suppliments to boost low mood. Don't want anything from docs as I am paranoid about anything slowing the adoption process down Plus, I think I am past the worst and don't need anything stronger now. Me and DP have been talking and feel that maybe overseas adoption isn't for us after all. I have been working with some gorgeous newly adopted children the past few weeks in my job and could easily see myslef with them. They are smiley, happy and the look of love in their parents eyes makes me choke. I want it so bad. The route in is the same way, contacting the LA and filling in some paperwork. So we will do that, when we are allowed (after I have 'grieved' - as if they know how I feel!) and see what path we feel is the right one to take.

Love to you all

Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[annie25]

Oh girls I'm do sorry that once again this thread seems to be running into gloomy times x

Nayla hunni I cant believe your through cycle 3 already I guess you decided to go a little quicker than January and I'm do so sorry that the outcome was negative once more I really can't understand given all your circumstances why this is the case and I can understand your thoughts on not knowing what to do next x I really really feel you can crack this journey one day and from experience my clinic move made a big difference to me financially and psychologically and it was the best thing I did in this journey so far x
Sending you huge huge hugs and thinking of you xx

Gill what a journey! I'm keeping everything possible crossed for you as I'd really love it if we could be bump buddies I truly would!

Tinks I know follow up isn't far of so sending you hugs and goodluck for that x

Lolly I'm glad that you are still looking forward to starting the adoption process soon and hopefully the government are improving access to adoption this year so I do hope it's a slightly less lengthly and stressful process than before xxxx

Afm girls I'm doing ok 10 weeks now with no spotting or bleeding which is an improvement on last time but I wish I could tell you I'm not petrified but I am i never realised the impact my missed miscarriage had and I find myself panicking that I have few symptoms and that I'm not showing yet etc anyone who thinks ivf is easy has no idea do they? I'm really hoping and praying that I can be you little ray of hope guys I really do xxxxxx

 

[GillAwaiting]

Well girls, Im still in. Had the most nervewrecking scan this morning. We had to wait 2 hours because we were an hour early and then the nurse looked at our file when it came to our turn and decided to call in a cons to do it as there are complications. We were almost in a heap by the time the scan came. So, shockingly (I was shaking from head to toe), the embryo is exactly where it should be. bpm 172 and measuring 8 w 2 days. He told me the measurement and then asked me where it should be so it was such a relief. The hematoma is still there, hasn't gotten bigger or smaller so that's a worry. After words when we went to the cons office, my poor dh made me put my coat on because I literally was shaking uncontrollably. We talked about the hcg shots and decided I could drop them as my own hcg should be well sorted. Im scared to stop them though even though they make me so ill. Also he recommended another intralipid infusion. The doc seemed to think it was worth firing everything at it and hope for the best (kinda where I come from). It was the senior cons who came in for us today and was lovely so we can't complain about the clinic at all. Will be nice to see our own cons again next week. The nerves will be ok for tonight but no doubt in pieces again tomorrow. I wouldn't take a single day for granted.

Thank you all for bearing with me on this journey. It makes all the difference.

Anyone heard a dickybird from Trying4Babies? She hasn't been on here in ages. I think my dh knows all your stories now as Im always prattling on to him about the experiences of all the ladies here. I hope this works for us, but not just for us, but so that our experiences might help someone else out there to fix or through some of this misery.

 

[trying4babies]

Hey girls so sorry again. Just been so.so busy. Great to.see some gud news Congrats so so happy for you's.
Also a very happy new yr to you all. I hope it brings you all ur hopes and dreams
Doesnt look like we are going to embark on a second round of icsi. Instead we are gona enjoy our first yr of marriage & go on holiday and take each day as it comes for a while. I'm very happy at the moment with the job I have and minding the children.
Shame we havent set up an anonimus facebook page dat we cud join. Be so easier to use and read comments

How have u all been. Xxx

 

[trying4babies]

Nayla So sorry to hear ur bad news. Keep ur head up & so everything u can to keep ur mind occupied. List of hugs xxxxx all my luv to u hun. I know exactly how ur feeling. Let 2012 be a much better year for u and thAt ur dream comes through in its own way xx

 

[GillAwaiting]

Hey Annie, good luck with the scan on Thursday. Thinking of you and fingers crossed.xxxx

 

[GillAwaiting]

Hey girls so sorry again. Just been so.so busy. Great to.see some gud news Congrats so so happy for you's.
Also a very happy new yr to you all. I hope it brings you all ur hopes and dreams
Doesnt look like we are going to embark on a second round of icsi. Instead we are gona enjoy our first yr of marriage & go on holiday and take each day as it comes for a while. I'm very happy at the moment with the job I have and minding the children.
Shame we havent set up an anonimus facebook page dat we cud join. Be so easier to use and read comments

How have u all been. Xxx

Hi Trying for Babies, nice to hear from you! You are certainly a gal with a plan and it sounds like a good one. I certainly like the idea of taking a holiday! Nice to be able to make actual plans and you can have a few cocktails while you are away. Ahh heaven!! Best of luck in 2012.

 

[annie25]

hi all,

t4b that sounds like a good idea and then when your ready you will know id love a nice holiday lol!

gill thank goodness for that hope all goes well this week!

well guys i had a scan today at 11+1 and baby is very well! kicking and waving at us so chuffed its unreal! its measuring three days ahead at the moment and nuchal fold looks good no obvious sign of downs phew! xxxx

 

[trying4babies]

Annie it seems its third time lucky for u.. so happy for ya.. ill have a few cocktails for u all when i go on hols... Gill hope u have a wonderful 2012. We all deserve a fab new yr...

I mailed lolly... going to set up a new facebook page so its easier for us to chat.. ill put some pics up and i hope u all join so we can hit 2012 with new friendships and new babies xx

 

[trying4babies]

Just set up a facebook page for us all. Type in Icsi IrelandUk
look forward to chatting with u all again xx

 

[GillAwaiting]

Annie so glad the scan went well. I would have said so sooner but I've been up the walls lately with worry and stress that I had to try to keep off BnB in case I'd find anything else to worry about! Fantastic news about the nuchal folds. You must be feeling so relieved.

Are ye all recovered from the xmas hols yet? it feels like years ago already. Onwards to Valentines Day!

Well folks we are still in the game. More knee knocking and breath holding at the scan today. Im so afraid when Im in the stirrups that i just close my eyes, hold my breath, don't look at the screen and ask if there is a heartbeat. It's still there! Bpm gone up to 178 and we saw little bean moving around merrily. DH and the cons were so excited and happy. It's his birthday tomorrow so Im really glad it wasn't ruined for him. CRL is back to 2 days behind again but cons not worried at all. She said it was just curled up so Im going to try not to worry (yeah right). The SCH had reduced to insignificance. So weird! Now Im wondering do these things come and go? Cons said I will have to have a section (please god we get that far) as Im such high risk and Im too small to have a natural birth. TBH I have been wondering for a few years where on earth a baby would go if it were to come out the good old fashioned way.

You know when we thought about treatments, the difficulties and what we were doing, I never really thought about how hard it would be even after a positive test. I sobbed for about 3 hours the other night because I was so convinced the pregnancy was gone and my nerves were worn to a frazzle. I often dream, as Im sure all of you do, about what it would be like to be one of those blessed women who just get pregnant, don't know a thing and sail through it, no bother. Ignorance would be bliss.

Trying4Babies, is the facebook page anonymous? How does that work? Im afraid to join because we don't really want too many people to know what's going on with us and the treatment and all that stuff. Its not that we are not open with close friends and family but it's just not something we want to put out there in the general domain. Maybe someday when all this trauma is behind us but just not yet.

 

[trying4babies]

All good news for u all.. so happy for u gill and annie.. if u wana go on facebook just make a new page with a different name.. i wudnt b sharing wit my friends either not into sharing al personal details at all xx

Onwards and upwards with 2012 very positive about dis yr.. we are heading for the sunshine in june for our anniversary and im so excited.. got some brochures to flick thru and den book online tour operators are so expensive ..

Take care all and mite see u on facebook its a private page only and its under icsi airelandUk