I'm sad :(

[Talia12]

I am honestly afraid to go into too much detail in case the person this is about is also on bnb and sees it... (sounds unlikely I know, but I only went and came across a girl I went to school with discussing her pregnancy a few years back! She went into loads of detail on here about her depression and relationship issues with the dad but over on fb it was all lovey dovey happy happy... )

ANYWAY I digress... Basically someone close to me I just found out is TTC. Now I know that this person gets pregnant at the drop of a hat and so I have no doubt she will be pregnant next month. Trust me it's happened a lot of times so far. And I feel sad because....I know this sounds so shit and bitter but the background is I was TTC a few years ago and she got pregnant during that time. No one knew I was TTC (and they still don't know I was). It was really devastating to me, I was SOOOO SO heartbroken having to watch her pregnancy and newborn etc. I gave up on TTC in my grief and...I got a very surprise BFP haha. That was great of course, but EVERYONE (including her) immediately assumed I had got pregnant because she had. You know how it is, sometimes it's seeing a close friend or family member be pregnant that gets you broody. I could see why they'd think that but in my case I was trying long before she got pg. To this day she and other people joke that I "copied" her by getting pregnant with my son.

Now I'm back TTC again and I've just found out she is It's honestly so upsetting to me. I know I don't conceive quickly, and she does. So no doubt she will be pregnant very soon (she has been a lot, although not all live births) and I will have to go through it all over again. Best case scenario now, is that I get a BFP and AGAIN people think I only did it because of her! Oh everyone will have a field day as it's second time around. She'll be pissed off too (and was last time) that I "tried" to steal her thunder.

I know that you're all probably wondering why the hell I care about anyone other than me, DH and DS (and potential future baby) but it's all a complicated and close-knit dynamic that further ruined a difficult first pregnancy and would do the same with this one, and that's even IF i manage to get pregnant!! If I don't it will be even worse watching her pregnancy.

Sorry for ranting so much. I don't know yet that I'm out this month but I strongly suspect as for reasons of flu we didn't manage to DTD around O time.

Just feel sad and I know that's shit but I really didn't need this. TTC is difficult enough.



Edit: I just realised I ended up posting quite a lot of information here, ha. Happen to know she can't be in the TWW though, so don't see why she'd be here.

 

[Stargazer33]

Hi Talia12. I'm so sorry you feel this way.... my sister just had a baby and I felt when she was pregnant all sad because I didn't get pregnant rigth away when i really wanted to... I know the feeling girl!
But honestly I must say that this person you're talking about seems a little immature about the whole thing! Why get mad that other around you gets pregnant too at the same time as yourself?? If that was me I would be happy for that person not the other way around.
But unfortunately people could be very mean... I don't understand this world.. why so much hate? But all I can say try not to think too much about it girlie You have all the rigth to try to conceive like all of us!! And you will!!

Big to you from me

 

[ms sunshine]

Sorry but if u and those around make s****y jokes if you get a bfp.roughly same time as u i wouldnt stand for it. You seem nice and took it while everyone sort of put a downer on ur pregnancy. I used to be like that and u know what i would be nice but this time please dont hold ur tounge why should u be made to feel like poo.

My son took over a yr to make and i am ttc for yr and a half and i have had 3 losses. I get asked why arent u trying dont u want him to have a sibling blah blah and it is difficult saying u have had a loss but no onehas ever made me feel bad or i would have said something. I think its insensitive what they may do what if u are same as me and had a few losses how would saying what they did help. Ya need to stand up for urself next time its said u need to say u do know inwas trying for ** how ever long im glad she got pg but it wasnt as easy for me and u dont know what happens behind closed door so please stop doing that please. Say it nice u dont have to fall out over it but if u cant do that id get a new friend that doesnt talk poo about u. Dont ever let anyone make u feel bad thats not a friend chick x

 

[Talia12]

Yeah, you guys are right. I still feel a bit down about it because this is what I strongly suspect will happen: my AF will show next week, she'll have a BFP the week after that... And most of us know that horrible gut punch when you're TTC and someone else is pregnant. It's horrible to have to be near it all and hear about it, even when you're happy for the person.

But you're right and if I do get my BFP I won't take shit this time around. In fact I will use what happened last time, turn it around and say "after the shit you all gave me last time, do you really think I'd plan to get pregnant right after her again?"
Thank you for reading and replying girls...baby dust to you wish all my friends and family were as understanding!