Inconceivable and beyond :-)

[2have4kids]

Minxy, did you use donor embryos last time? I thought you did for some reason to see if it wasn't his wee soldiers keeping you from your bfp? I'm glad to hear things are moving along, waiting around like that is soo stressful!

Crystal thanks for the kind words, LA has been an awful lot of fun. We're off for fish tacos this morning and then I fly home. 4 bottles stuffed in my tiny suitcase of amazing bubbly & red wine for Christmas time. I'm sorry to hear you've caught a cold, sucks not being able to take anything for it but reassuring to hear that your immune system is weak.

Hi to everyone else!!:wave:

 

[crystal443]

Hi girls!!

2have, fish tacos are fab mmmm wine sounds yum too

Just checking in on everyone, glad everyone is well

 

[Pussycat1]

Hey ladies, sorry I haven't checked in for a while, but I have been reading.
Crystal, hope your colds better or at least not getting you down. Leilani, great news on the Beta! 2have I'm sorry about the surrogacy, it sounds like a really rough road to go down and even worse when you think you've found someone but then it turns out they aren't in the right place. Minno, you need to do what's right for all if you. Dmama, glad you've found a donor, exciting times! Holly thinking if you over the next week or so! Minxy, glad the clinic have finally come back to you, fingers crossed for next week. Jooba, how you doing? Sorry if I missed anyone!
I got my test results back, no issues with the thrombotic risk tests so all clear there. NKC came back slightly raised at 16.7%, apparently normal is 2-12%. As always the feedback from the clinic was basic, recommend low dose asperin, heparin and steroids as well as a single intralipid infusion during endometrial prep, then Gestone rather than cyclogest. I'm assuming they suggest a single infusion as the result was only just over normal range, can anyone help? The letter said to make a nurse consultation appointment to discuss further only when I tried I was told they were very busy and could only do do just before proceeding with a cycle. So how am I meant to work out the cost? Seriously it's all about the money for them, I'm done with them. I'm confused about my results though, is 16.7% something to worry about, it feels like the tests results don't tell me anything strongly to indicate immune issues. Perhaps DH is right and I should give up, it just seems so unfair. DH is not willing to talk about this at the moment and I'm feeling very alone in all of this. Sorry to be down but I'm really feeling very lost. x

 

[hollyhopeful2]

A lot of dh's seem to have issues around this time in a cycle. I am not the expert on nkc issues though you are lucky to have Crystal and 2have on this thread. I'm sure they will be able to help you through this!

 

[dmama]

Hey ladies, sorry I haven't checked in for a while, but I have been reading.
Crystal, hope your colds better or at least not getting you down. Leilani, great news on the Beta! 2have I'm sorry about the surrogacy, it sounds like a really rough road to go down and even worse when you think you've found someone but then it turns out they aren't in the right place. Minno, you need to do what's right for all if you. Dmama, glad you've found a donor, exciting times! Holly thinking if you over the next week or so! Minxy, glad the clinic have finally come back to you, fingers crossed for next week. Jooba, how you doing? Sorry if I missed anyone!
I got my test results back, no issues with the thrombotic risk tests so all clear there. NKC came back slightly raised at 16.7%, apparently normal is 2-12%. As always the feedback from the clinic was basic, recommend low dose asperin, heparin and steroids as well as a single intralipid infusion during endometrial prep, then Gestone rather than cyclogest. I'm assuming they suggest a single infusion as the result was only just over normal range, can anyone help? The letter said to make a nurse consultation appointment to discuss further only when I tried I was told they were very busy and could only do do just before proceeding with a cycle. So how am I meant to work out the cost? Seriously it's all about the money for them, I'm done with them. I'm confused about my results though, is 16.7% something to worry about, it feels like the tests results don't tell me anything strongly to indicate immune issues. Perhaps DH is right and I should give up, it just seems so unfair. DH is not willing to talk about this at the moment and I'm feeling very alone in all of this. Sorry to be down but I'm really feeling very lost. x

Awww hun, is it possible to take your results to another RE for a second opinion? If you are sure your RE isn't really helping you. You should feel comfortable with where you are going. Also, I left one RE practice because of the way the front desk staff etc were acting. Nobody called back, nobody knew what you were talking about etc. However, the doctors were actually pretty good and pretty open and I often wonder if I should have just informed the doctors that their staff were insane. Maybe if there is a way that you can talk to the doc directly to let them know that you are being barred from carrying out the suggested next steps that s/he recommended, maybe they can override the nurses who just follow protocol. Maybe if the doc tells them to get you in, they will? Otherwise, maybe try to get a second opinion.....HUGS!

 

[Pussycat1]

Thanks ladies, tbh the nurses are usually better at the consultant, however they are very overworked. DH won't go back there and the tests were only ever done there so we would know, I just expected them to be more thorough and communicative in their explanation of the results. If we go anywhere else it will be Reprofit and I'll mail them the results today. I guess if I'd had a high % of NKC then at least I'd have an answer but I don't and I seem to fall into that big pile of 'unknown infertility' and that sucks because nonone knows what the best thing to do is. x

 

[jooba85]

Hi ladies. Sorry I've been MIA - lots of things keeping me busy at the moment.

Pussycat - I'm not an expert on the nkc issue, but just wanted to say I feel for you. It's horrible being in a situation where you don't have clear answers and you don't know where to turn next. I don't know at what point hubby and I would have said "enough is enough" - I think that point comes at different times for different couples. I guess it's harder sometimes to watch the people we love go through such heartache, maybe your DH just wants to spare you any more disappointment? Men can be a little avoidant like that.

2have - lovely to hear you had a great weekend. Bubbles and wine at Xmas sound amazing! What's the latest with where you guys are at?

Crystal - HAPPY 12 WEEKS! I'm 14 weeks tomorrow (the ticker in my signature is a little off). Definitely happy to be past that scary first trimester. When is your nuchal scan? Hope the cold is easing.

Dmama - awesome you have found an egg donor. One more step forward! Sometimes it's the foreword momentum that keeps you going. When things stall it can be frustrating.

Minno - I can understand the wait seems hard. I had a decision to make before transfer to either take a well paying temporary job for a month and delay ET by 4 weeks, or go ahead with the fresh cycle. I decided I couldn't stand to wait another month, so I can't imagine how far away next year sounds.

Gosh Holly - very exciting times for you ahead!!! :happy dance:

Minxy - welcome to the new thread!

Leilani - how are you feeling? Do you have a scan date coming up? Hope you are well

Miss LornaMJ!!! Where are you?? Wherever you are, I hope all is well

Hi Sienna and Dosh!

(Who have I forgotten??)

Love to you all

xo

 

[2have4kids]

Thanks ladies, tbh the nurses are usually better at the consultant, however they are very overworked. DH won't go back there and the tests were only ever done there so we would know, I just expected them to be more thorough and communicative in their explanation of the results. If we go anywhere else it will be Reprofit and I'll mail them the results today. I guess if I'd had a high % of NKC then at least I'd have an answer but I don't and I seem to fall into that big pile of 'unknown infertility' and that sucks because nonone knows what the best thing to do is. x

Hi PC, sorry to hear about your diagnosis but hey you got some answers! To me, it seems you're one step forward to your success having children. If your NKC's are slightly elevated then during implantation/pregnancy they might have the propensity to take off stopping implantation or causing mc? That's how I'd interpret this. I'm not sure why your DH is so negative? Now that you've got an inkling of what the problem is, pop some prednisone, inject the Lupron or Clexane, whichever they have in your local pharmacy, and 1 week before the transfer have an intralipid infusion (it's not too pricey either). You might just find this is enough to have implantation and a successful pregnancy. But I don't really get why so negative now that you're in the know about what's causing your problems? If there were other issues going on the same protocol would be recommended too, you've spent the very least amount to get the very highest success with your next try-it was really a very smart way to go about it. We did the full testing and it was too expensive, the same protocol for more $$. Pat yourself on the back for figuring out more of your problem.

Is your DH is angry with how much the transfers are costing? This IS your time to have a family-you won't be able to redo this moment 10-20 years from now. Don't give up if it's important to you. Is having a family important to him? What are his priorities anyway and why so unsupportive to you - you need him! Maybe in the presence of a counselor you might get a more supportive part come out? Sometimes men are much better at coming to terms when a third party lays it all out on the table, and better behaved when someone else is in the room. I'm sorry you're having to deal with him as well as the medical issues, we need them to be our rocks, put your steel toed boot on and give that man a good kick in the butt!

 

[Pussycat1]

Thanks 2have, but it doesn't feel like answers, the levels are not elevated particularly high but your comment on what could happen at implantation does make sense. I'm just cross and feeling a little defeated by the lack of support from my clinic. However I know you talk sense, but when you're paying for everything yourself it has to be right.
As for DH, I don't mean to paint such a bleak picture of him, he's been very supportive but he's found the past few years heartbreaking with all the hope then failure and also having to watch me get more and more desperate. One of us has to stay grounded. He's also got a lot if other pressures going on in his life right now which don't help. I can see his view, he wants to look at adoption as we're guaranteed a child at the end of it. Even if it's an emotional nightmare to get there, at least at the end there are guarantees. If we go for another DE cycle and it fails we have to wait another 6 months before we can be considered for adoption, then min 6 months to he approved then start looking for a child ....

 

[2have4kids]

Thanks 2have, but it doesn't feel like answers, the levels are not elevated particularly high but your comment on what could happen at implantation does make sense. I'm just cross and feeling a little defeated by the lack of support from my clinic. However I know you talk sense, but when you're paying for everything yourself it has to be right.
As for DH, I don't mean to paint such a bleak picture of him, he's been very supportive but he's found the past few years heartbreaking with all the hope then failure and also having to watch me get more and more desperate. One of us has to stay grounded. He's also got a lot if other pressures going on in his life right now which don't help. I can see his view, he wants to look at adoption as we're guaranteed a child at the end of it. Even if it's an emotional nightmare to get there, at least at the end there are guarantees. If we go for another DE cycle and it fails we have to wait another 6 months before we can be considered for adoption, then min 6 months to he approved then start looking for a child ....

There's not much one can do but send you hugs. We technically have to wait the 6 months for adoption too after our last go but we both really want a large family. I know people get pregnant accidentally while on the 2-3 year wait (Jillian Michaels partner is a prime example) and if that happens to us it'll be a blessing (with our European trips for DE IVF). With all their rules it means we cannot be honest with them and I regret this deeply. We could keep on waiting till I'm 42, 44 but I believe those rules are made for a good reason, I think 99% of the population would be happy with 1-2 babies and would halt the adoption process if they had one naturally but we want both and or at least 1 to work out and have discussed at length all of the what if's.
Anyway, again, I'm sorry you're both under so much pressure right now. Hopefully you're able to make a decision that you're both comfortable with.

 

[Garnet]

Pussycat,
All I can tell you is I really think since you know your issues maybe give it 1 more go round with all the suggestions! If I were a bit younger I would insist on it with my Hubby! I know it is expensive physically and mentally but you have come this far! ♡ Hugs to you and what ever you decide!

You all might want to head to Holly's thread and see her news!


2have, my Aunt adopted because they were infertile for 7 years then she got pregnant not more than 6 mos after adoption and had another one after that!

 

[Minno]

Pussycat, I wish you well in whatever you decide. I understand your frustration. I don't know what my issues are either regarding immune response and the Gest clinic don't offer investigations. All I'm being offered is prednisone and not the clexane or Intralipids etc. I just have to at least take the steroid and hope for the best.
My DH is getting difficult. He wants to wait until after our summer holiday to go for FET but I am really struggling with that timeframe. So tonight we had a heart to heart (prompted by some pouting by me&#128555 and now he is coming round to the idea of us doing it maybe in February 😄. That way we could have a try, if it doesn't work we can head off on holiday in July and then have another go later in the year. I think he is upset with seeing me so desperate and trying to stay focused for us but really, I'm 45 now and don't want to hang around.
So February it may be. More talks over next couple of days ... He has to chew things over before seeing that I'm right ha ha
Good luck PC
Xx

 

[Pussycat1]

Minno, I thank that's exactly how my DH feels. The last chat we had ended with me in tears and him saying 'see it's all too upsetting', however for me it's more upsetting knowing I'll never carry a child. I too am aiming for Feb, Reprofit said they could fit me in then but I need to know that he's fully on board with me before going further.
2have, I'm tempted to start the adoption thing before but it's such an invasive process that I'm sure I'd be caught out and I worry that they'd then never let me adopt.
Garnet, that's kind of the route I'm going down 😉. Great news in Holly! x

 

[dmama]

Hi Ladies! My cycle has started!!!! Looking to transfer middle of next month...I will be traveling. Then it is Holidays...so things are soooooo busy all of a sudden, but I am happy to have gotten started finally! Will start estrogen after AF....wish me luck!!!!

Baby dust to all of us!!!!!! HUGS!!!!

 

[Leilani]

That's great news dmama, even though it's still more waiting - it's good to know you have your target in sight! sending you lots of

 

[Pussycat1]

Dmama, that's fantastic news! So nice to know that things are moving for you! xx

 

[2have4kids]

Wishing sticky beans for you Dmama!!

 

[Minno]

Good luck Dmama - this is your time!

Ladies, a breakthrough! DH has agreed to a February FET woo hooooooo I'm off to contact the clinic to arrange! Xx

 

[Pussycat1]

Great Minno! Hopefully I can get mine to do the same! xx

 

[2have4kids]

Minno that's fantastic news!!