Inconceivable and beyond :-)

[LLbean]

HAHAHA that's what I thought with mine, that I was gassy LOL

 

[sienna]

Vonn all the European clinics give very little info, I got height, weight, blood group, hair colour and educational level from Gennet which is the clinic I’m going to next. Serum I got very little from with my failed cycle and was not happy with some other aspects of my care.
The other thing to look into is epigenetics which is a new field and is showing that the carry of the embryo has a lot more influence on the gene’s that are expressed which includes physical characteristics than was first thought.

 

[Pinkie3]

Vonn, the European laws are that the donors remain anonymous which is why you only get limited information, I got the same information from my Greek clinic that everyone else has mentioned. I agree with Butterfly, at first I was really hung up about getting a perfect match of someone who looked like me but once the process started I realised I didn't care, I just wanted a healthy baby. I know going abroad can be really daunting, I worried about the language barrier and culture etc (although I realised once I was there I had no need to be, my Greek clinic put my UK one to shame). This is why I decided to go through an English nurse who co-ordinates the cycles for International clients at a number of European clinics, it took all the worries away for me. If you would like to know her details let me know and I will PM you the details. In the meantime I hope your current clinic are pulling their socks up and you got some answers about your new donor choice. Good luck I hope things finally turn around for you.

Bluebell, congratulations on getting to 18 weeks.

I hope everyone else is doing well x

 

[Vonn]

Sienna-- thanks! I had forgotten about Gennet. Their guarantee of a third cycle free if the first two don't work is reassuring. And some of the interesting work related to epigenetics definitely helped me make the leap to DE IVF, esp since we hadn't even done OE IVF. I might be the only one who's skipped that. We just don't have the money to spend on such low chances, only gonna get a couple chances as is. What's your plan?

Pinkie--what clinic ins Greece did you use? I will let you know if we go the European route, I'd be curious to learn more about the coordinating English nurse. I think I actually came across her website at some point in my previous researching. How are you feeling??

Thanks for all the helpful posts, ladies! So much good info.

AFM--just waiting to hear back if the donor we are interested in is going to cycle again. Also trying to cheer my sister on to the next step she needs to do for her infertility. She did 6 IUIs with Femara at her ObGyn's (that is all they will do). Early on I had suggested a bunch of tests I thought she should have done, but the Ob brushed them off and told my sister that she seems healthy and can't figure out why she's not getting pg. This has made my sister feel like an RE won't be able to help her anymore than her Ob could, which is totally wrong. I'm so annoyed, but am trying not to be the bossy, overbearing older sister (which I can totally tend to do). I want her to move on already and get a Dr that really knows infertility. She shouldn't have stuck with this Ob for so long and now she's reluctant to move on and I just want to tell her that she didn't do herself any favors by doing the same exact thing 6 times & not insisting on basic tests. The Dr didn't even check her AMH, do a baseline ultrasounds to check ovarian reserve, test prolactin or vitamin D....really standard checks... I am getting all worked up! I need to chill out about her situation, but I want to fix it. I'm just venting to ladies I know will be sympathetic because you've been there, done that with all the testing and the steps. Thanks.

 

[LLbean]

Vonn, sadly we can't teach others unless they are ready to hear us. A great friend of mine was going through so much stuff and I was making recommendations that I knew would help but it was not heard... Years later she had a major meltdown and her body was all sorts of messed up yet her doctors could not find anything wrong. I suggested a naturopath and she was so desperate she finally listened... Now with all the experts she has been seeing she keeps saying "wow had I listen to you before" and all her doctors have heard of me because she is constantly saying "omg that's what my friend said!" Lol thankful she is finally on track but point is they won't see it until they can

 

[2have4kids]

That's the most frustrating part about friends. You care for them and can see their struggle, sometimes you've already been there but watching them wriggle for so long and holding back just enough is a difficult wire to walk. My gf was diagnosed with DOR and worse numbers than me in her early 20's (my diagnosis was at 35). She was told to skip everything and go straight to ivf. She dithered for 10 years trying supplements, accupunture/accupressure, naturopathy, vacations, retail therapy. She'd call me into conference rooms at work and break down crying when siblings & family announced their pregnancies. I felt frustrated for her & helpless. I had to hold back, I'm the complete opposite personality, the waiting absolutely kills me. All that time watching my friends families grow up, missing out on all that time, I moved as fast as I could and thsnk goodness because it took so many tries. Recently, she just did her first ivf (thankfully not with our crappy regional calgary clinic) and got pregnant with her first try. They're so very lucky! Most of us with DOR have done ivf at least 3 x and DE ivf 3-4 times before anything has worked out. Pussycat & Crystal (maybe Garnet too?), and myself having immune issues to deal with.

 

[crystal443]

2have I was 32 when I was originally told my hormones were look perimenopausal, so we tried and tried and found out at 35 I had DOR for quite some time probably late 20's to early 30's and then did 4 cycles of IVF with nothing even fertilising. Finally decided to go de and 3rd time lucky, they neglect to say there could be other issues like immune. I did find out about those and it still took 2 cycles. I tried everything, acupuncture, cupping, massage, supplements, DHEA, clomid, increasing stims, decreasing stims and the list goes on and on. What finally worked was a truckload of meds nuepogen, IVIG, intralipids, steroids, clexane, low dose aspirin and 1600mgs of progesterone. It cost thousands and thousands just for meds but we do what we have too. My girls are priceless to me I would have spent more to ensure they got here safe. I've hated my body for turning on me and stealing the one thing we as women want and that is family. For me it was a big mess of drugs holding me together but I got there in the end

 

[Butterfly67]

I'm just about to do this course about fertility that I thought some of you might be interested in - it's free and open to anyone. They do some really interesting stuff on there: https://www.futurelearn.com/courses/making-babies/1/todo/5214

 

[2have4kids]

What finally worked was a truckload of meds nuepogen, IVIG, intralipids, steroids, clexane, low dose aspirin and 1600mgs of progesterone. It cost thousands and thousands just for meds but we do what we have too. My girls are priceless to me I would have spent more to ensure they got here safe. I've hated my body for turning on me and stealing the one thing we as women want and that is family. For me it was a big mess of drugs holding me together but I got there in the end

I think the same happened with us, our fs completely put down the idea that there could be immune issues involved and warned me that she had a patient pass away taking IVIg. I didn't believe her then and it's still sounds unreal to me. We can't get IVIG even prescribed in Canada for anything other than Rheumatoid arthritis so how was she administering it in a hospital for infertility especially when she doesn't believe in and is not educated in the entire science of reproductive immunology?
The other thing that made me run from our local clinic is their insistence of using frozen eggs and boasting that they give high success rates. When most European clinics now will only freeze embryos with eggs being too fragile, and seeing SKP spend $50+ on 12 frozen eggs only to have 3-4 decent embryos and none take. We could have gone down that route too very easily. I just thought they're selling the luxury of seeing a picture of the donor for a very high price over the quality of fertility treatment.
I tried acupuncture, yoga, lost weight, CoQ10, DHEA (that gave me really weird dreams!), super stim cycle, gentle stim cycle. It was getting on the steroids(prednisone), blood thinners and injectable progesterone and going to a clinic that had high rates of success and only us us high quality embryos that Reprofit does (Serum & Calgary not so much) that made the difference. Had we cycled in the States with the donor we picked from the World Egg Donor Bank that looked pretty close to me for a whopping $20-$30 and 6+ month wait time we wouldn't have been able to afford the 3 tries we did in 2012 & 2013 at Reprofit and Serum. Not to mention the immune testing that the Dr. beers clinic did for me. All this time, going through mc's, flying for treatments, immune & DE IVF's my friend witnessed and still refused to make a move. Our third mutual friend did 9 iui's back to back with an ectopic pregnancy and she got her rainbow DS first. Try, try, try and when you're sick to death of trying, try again.

I'm just about to do this course about fertility that I thought some of you might be interested in - it's free and open to anyone. They do some really interesting stuff on there: https://www.futurelearn.com/courses/making-babies/1/todo/5214

Wow, that looks awesome. I was curious to see what else they offer and omgoodness, they've got some really cool topics covered. I've always wanted to design my own fashion line I hate how so many shoes and clothes are ill-fitted or the law courses about money and intro for non-lawyers...I could never do law but have always been interested in it. Or the management courses for work. Now to carve out some time. Thank you BF!

 

[sienna]

Vonn I haven’t done the OE route either like you, the success rate is so low when you get over 40 it’s just not worth it. Gennet have English speaking co-ordinators they are a bit slow replying to emails as they prioritise communication from ladies that are cycling. Good luck with what every you decide.

Thanks for the info butterfly x

 

[Vonn]

Butterfly--thanks for sharing the link. So many courses, cool! You will have to let us know what cool info you learn from the one you are taking. I'm actually interested in the management ones. I will be applying for a manager position at my work soon (it should be posted in the next month) and have no management training or experience. I thought if I could say I was doing some training on my own it might improve my chances.

Sienna--I didn't realize you had not done OE IVF. That makes me feel better that I'm not the only one whose made this same choice! When will you be going to Gennet? Where are you located?

Llbean, 2have--I knew you all would "get it" about my frustration with my sister!

AFM--donor choice #4 has agreed to cycle again and had the blood draw for the genetic screening. 2 weeks and we will know if we can move forward. I was relieved to get the message from the nurse, but wasn't excited at all. Now, a couple hours later, I am feeling a little hopeful, a little excited. But it's certainly tempered with the knowledge that I've been here before with poor results so I'm not thinking it's all set. But my mood has actually improved, for which I am thankful.

I had a bad several days, feeling very down. It was my grandma's 94th birthday party on Sunday and it made me feel terrible. My cousins' cute kids running around and all the adults I felt were wondering why I am childless just made me feel like a total loser. I haven't had a family event make me feel that badly since before DH and I started dating and I was the constant single 30-something, while all my cousins 10 years younger than me kept getting married. That was tough...so many years alone...probably toughened me up and helped me prepare for torture that is infertility. But, I am feeling better right now, a glimmer of hope has crept in!

 

[LLbean]

That is wonderful news Vonn! Hope the genetic stuff comes back clear

 

[2have4kids]

Vonn this has got to be the lucky donor for you. My fingers & toes are crossed for everything to work out!!
I'm sorry you've been feeling so blue. I just read a fb post that reminded me of what you said you were feeling on Sunday. A lady posted her gratitude for all the hard, sad, lonely times being childless and said now that she has a large adopted family she doesn't regret the path she had to take as she feels she clearly feels it's given her more gratitude, joy, perspective, and empathy than others around her. What we suffer makes us richer human beings xx

 

[Butterfly67]

Glad things are moving forward Vonn, it's your time soon but sorry things are tough right now X

I also went straight to DE due to my age, just wanted the best chance.

 

[Bluebell bun]

Vonn, fingers crossed for you that all works out with your donor. Stay strong and you will get there in the end. I think we have all felt like this and I know at times I certainly didn't feel as though our time would ever come x

 

[Vonn]

Yes, Bluebell, the fact that we have all experienced so many of the same problems and emotions is one of the main reasons why this forum has been such a lifesaver and important outlet for me! I truly think I would have gone off the deep end had I not had the wonderful support I've received on BnB over the past couple years. It is quite a sisterhood we have here.

It's been a little quiet here lately! Who has milestones coming up? Impt appointments, scans, tests, new cycles? I should know next Friday about the genetic screening for my potential donor. If it's a yes, estimated baseline is last week in August with mid-Sept retrieval.

Have a great weekend, my sisters!

 

[2have4kids]

Hi ladies, yes we're in a bit of a quiet period right now. Everyone will be gearing up to cycle in the fall so it sounds.

I have a 10 week scan that my doctor set up as a courtesy for me on Wed next week so that I can confidently announce to work that I'll be back in the beginning of August rather than Sept 30th. I'll put out a fb announcement of our twin pregnancy Wednesday too I have a coffee date with my workmates the next day. The guy who's replacing me will hopefully be able to stay on since I'm not back for long before I'll take another maternity leave. I felt bad as they laid him off 1 year early from a full retirement and he still has small kids. So I'm happy to help him keep employed!

 

[LLbean]

There you go 2have, tell him you did it for him ;-)

Vonn all fingers and toes crossed for a good result with donor!

 

[boopin4baby]

Ladies,

The pathology report is in. We were pregnant with a normal male embryo. So, now I'm left wondering why he didn't continue to grow?? I'm sure now my RE will want to run a bunch of tests on me before I attempt my final FET. I'm perplexed as to why my pregnancy failed. Still no closure, just more questions.

Honestly, this news is hitting me hard. I didn't think that the results would effect me like this, but they are. I was pregnant with the son I've always wanted and he didn't survive. I'm going to have a sad day today.

 

[boopin4baby]

Vonn - GL with your new donor. I hope things work out. You've waited long enough!! Fx'd for you my ttc sister.

2have - Congratulations on your pregnancy!! I'm wishing you a H&H 9 months!!

Hello to everyone else. Have a wonderful weekend Ladies!! xoxo