Inconceivable and beyond :-)

[Pussycat1]

TTC, do you have slimming World in the US? I found that so much easier than WW, you can eat loads and very little weighing or counting. I agree getting your BMI down is really important, I was never out with the healthy range for my height (I'm 5ft 9' so quite tall), but since Nov 14 lost just over a stone and feel so much better about myself. Of course I'm just about to gain all that again, but that will be a pleasure! xx

 

[TTC74]

We don't have slimming world in the U.S. And you are tall! I'm 5 feet 7 inches.

 

[Pinkie3]

Hi Ladies, can I join you on this thread?

MrsG kindly advised joining here as a few of you ladies have had donor cycles. And I would love to hear your experiences.

We just had our 3rd failed ICSI. I have a high FSH and struggled to get one egg on my last cycle. I have lost faith and hope in using my own eggs so donor is our next step. We are going abroad, for a number of reasons, cost, waiting times and donors remaining anonymous. We are talking with an English fertility nurse who will be our co-ordinator and we have narrowed it down to 3 clinics. Have any of you used these clinics? Newlife in Greece, FIV in Marbella and ProcreaTec in Madrid.

Or if you used any other clinic I would love to hear your experience, tips and advice. As excited as I am, I am also very nervous. I know I am ready for this but I am scared that if/when this works my feelings will change. How did you feel?

Sorry for all the questions, I am struggling to find other donor ladies to talk to.

Thanks in advance.

 

[Pussycat1]

Welcome Pinkie and sorry to hear you're struggle. You are certainly in the right place for loads of advice and top tips!
I went overseas after 7 failed cycles in the UK. One was shared eggs but the cost and waiting lists we're too long to continue here. We were treated at Reprofit in Brno Czech Republic (as were several other ladies here) and they were so easy to deal with. I went direct to them (via their website just email one of the English speaking coordinators, mine was Eva). I have to say the whole experience was the least stressful of all of my cycles. They have a huge pool of donors, you can fly direct to Brno from Stansted and the town is a nice place to visit and cheap. Treatment was half the price of UK. I also looked at Clinics in Prague but liked the fast response and recommendations from other ladies on here for Reprofit. Perhaps most importantly, first cycle was unsuccessful, but we had 2 frozen embryos and I am now coming up for 9 weeks pregnant with identical twins! I'm afraid I don't know anything about the clinics you mention, when I looked I found Spain to be more expensive and cost had to play a part for us. With regards to how I feel about DE, I had one counselling session but I was ready, what's important for me was carrying the baby (ies!) and going through the whole pregnancy experience. Yes I would dearly have loved a baby that was genetically mine but that just wasn't possible. Google epigenetics, there are some interesting discussions. xx

 

[TTC74]

If IVF is our next step, we will be heading abroad, too. Have you checked out this site? https://fertility.treatmentabroad.com/costs I found it incredibly informative.

 

[2have4kids]

Hi Pinkie3 & welcome! I'd have to say ditto to much of what PC said. We found the clinics in Spain too expensive, Athens has expensive hotels and the clinic we went to there (Serum) had terrible timing issues with the donor. You could wait an entire month for the stim cycle and purchasing last minute flights added far too much stress and expense. Athens is also a huge city, in turmoil right now. The transit was much easier around Brno and the clinic times everything perfectly down to the hour, all knowing and set 3-4 months in advance. They only freeze the very very best embies, giving ladies a really good chance with FET's. When we were looking into frozen less expensive options they explained to us they don't use frozen eggs/sperm (we were trying to match both DH and my profiles) which they told me has too low rates of success for them (this was interesting news for me - they only use frozen embryos, which they explained were much more hardy to freeze). Like PC, I'm 5'9 and wanted to get matched with tall donors. Greece didn't have these options for me and refused to tell me the height of my donor, this information is legislated such that we have the right to know - that really made me upset and wonder exactly how large the donor banks are over there. If we have to go back to Europe to do DE IVF it'll be to Reprofit in Brno. The accommodation & food was incredibly affordable and the cities/towns are just SO beautiful!

I wish you all the best in your adventures, let us know what your next steps are xx

 

[TTC74]

I was thinking about Turkey if we can use our own egg/sperm and Czech Republic if we can't. Anyone heard anything good or bad about Turkey's IVF medical tourism?

 

[2have4kids]

Haven't heard anything about Turkey but I did read this on a website:

"Patients wanting to undergo IVF with Egg Donation or Sperm Donation in Turkey are able to commence the procedure in Turkey, but then they must be sent to the neighboring country of Cyprus to continue with the actual procedure." - https://www.ivfinturkey.co.uk/laws

They have a religious country leader and even though their population is crazy young (I think something like 80% of the population is under 30 from what I remember when I was there in 2012) they still may have religious overtones in their legislation around IVF forbidding donor egg/sperm.

You can def use your own eggs in any country, my problem is no matter what concoction of gonadatropines they give me, no matter where I go, my body won't grow eggies for IVF anymore. But if you do respond then any of the clinics can take you through IVF, it's just the donor part that is prohibitive in countries like Turkey/Canada (I still can't believe we're so antiquated with our laws here in Canada, but we'll be voting the nuts out in October and replacing with a much more moderate woman & family friendly party)

 

[TTC74]

I suspect I can grow eggs. I guess the question will be one of quality. I went through one FSH IUI cycle and had 4-5 maturing follicles. 2 of them were mature by the time of the IUI. Unfortunately, when it came time for the IUI, we learned that DH had a low count that netted 1.5 million washed sperm. Motility and morphism were good at least.

 

[Pinkie3]

Thanks for sharing your experiences and the advice ladies, looks like I have a bit of research to do.

Congratulations on your pregnancies, you are definitely giving me hope.

I've had a brief look at Reprofit. Before I dig a bit deeper... Under the donor section it does say that they only tell you the age and blood type of your donor. Height, weight, eye colour etc will not be provided to the patient. Is that correct?

Serum was never on our list of clinics, I have read a lot about it but for some reason I just don't fancy it. Although my gut is telling me to go for Newlife in Greece, I can't tell you why. Thankfully its not in Athens but the other side of Greece in Thessaloniki.

I agree about experiencing a pregnancy, I feel as a women that is my right. My feelings towards DE are strange, I have accepted I wont have a genetic link to the child but no matter what I will be the mother and my feelings towards them will be no different, I feel this overwhelming sense of love for them just thinking about it. I feel jealous about my OH sperm fertilizing another womens egg, honestly I have no idea where this is coming from because I don't have a jealous bone in my body. I mean, I know its not like they are going to meet and do the deed. Maybe I am over thinking things?

I haven't heard anything about Turkey either, maybe heading straight to Cyprus would be a better option? Interesting read 2have4kids, I didn't realise that Canada were so strict with fertility laws.

 

[Pussycat1]

Pinkie, the info Reprofot gave me about my donor was year of birth, height weight, eye and hair colour (and that she had wavy hair as I have curly hair I said this was important), that she had a degree, a summary of her personality and what her hobbies were. In the UK I was given a picture of my donor as a baby but Reprofit don't do that. If you are not happy with the first donor they offer you tell them why and they will offer another. I think it's important to go with your gut feeling about a clinic too, it's such a personal thing you have to feel comfortable with it. One question worth asking: what the live birth rate is following treatment, not just positive pregnancy test rate, the difference can be big. xx

 

[MrsPTTC]

Hello ladies, I hope I'm not intruding here but am really hoping to get some help on a huge dilemma I have. As you can see from my ticker I have 2 little girls, first of which was a clomid baby but my fertility seemed to sort itself out for #2! I have a cousin I haven't seen for what must be 4 or 5 years. My aunt & uncle are both passed & we just don't keep in touch with them. She wrote to me a lovely letter asking for me to be her egg donor. She's been TTC with her partner for 5 years, can get IVF on the NHS but not with her own eggs (she's coming up 42 & would only have 5% success rate.) because of her age she couldn't wait for a donor in the UK as 2-3 year waiting list apparently. I would love to donate my eggs but honestly don't know how I would cope with the emotional side of things - what if this baby came out looking like me or my children? I would need to have contact in the contract if we went ahead. I wouldn't want it initially, I think I'd just prefer to get a few photos & updates from my cousin, but I'd need it in there in case I changed my mind & wanted to meet the child. She told me she'd be open & honest with the child & tell them they were from a donor egg. She's considered going abroad though her clinic in the UK have advised her against it as their screening processes aren't the same as in the UK. The top & bottom of it is I think she'd prefer the baby to have the family bloodline rather than go abroad & get an anonymous donor. It's a huge ask of me & she knows that, it's obviously took a lot of courage for her to write the letter. I know only I can make this decision but wondered your thoughts on it? Those of you who have had donor eggs from a known donor how did you feel about it? Have any of you donated your eggs & if so do you ever think about the child?

I feel so confused

Oh & the other thing I need to consider is the effect it might have on my fertility as we're not certain we're stopping at 2 children though we probably will, never say never...

x

 

[2have4kids]

Hello ladies, I hope I'm not intruding here but am really hoping to get some help on a huge dilemma I have. As you can see from my ticker I have 2 little girls, first of which was a clomid baby but my fertility seemed to sort itself out for #2! I have a cousin I haven't seen for what must be 4 or 5 years. My aunt & uncle are both passed & we just don't keep in touch with them. She wrote to me a lovely letter asking for me to be her egg donor. She's been TTC with her partner for 5 years, can get IVF on the NHS but not with her own eggs (she's coming up 42 & would only have 5% success rate.) because of her age she couldn't wait for a donor in the UK as 2-3 year waiting list apparently. I would love to donate my eggs but honestly don't know how I would cope with the emotional side of things - what if this baby came out looking like me or my children? I would need to have contact in the contract if we went ahead. I wouldn't want it initially, I think I'd just prefer to get a few photos & updates from my cousin, but I'd need it in there in case I changed my mind & wanted to meet the child. She told me she'd be open & honest with the child & tell them they were from a donor egg. She's considered going abroad though her clinic in the UK have advised her against it as their screening processes aren't the same as in the UK. The top & bottom of it is I think she'd prefer the baby to have the family bloodline rather than go abroad & get an anonymous donor. It's a huge ask of me & she knows that, it's obviously took a lot of courage for her to write the letter. I know only I can make this decision but wondered your thoughts on it? Those of you who have had donor eggs from a known donor how did you feel about it? Have any of you donated your eggs & if so do you ever think about the child?

I feel so confused

Oh & the other thing I need to consider is the effect it might have on my fertility as we're not certain we're stopping at 2 children though we probably will, never say never...

x

Hi mrsp, this is something that a few counselling sessions could probably help you with. My fc has a fantastic female counsellor who's well versed in the fertility issus. She's even had fertility treatments herself. I was going to partner with an altruistic donor here in Canada and would not consider it without a full fledged counselling session with her and her family and the clinic had a lawyer to draw up a contract.

I'm not sure how gonadotropins would effect your fertility. Having had to take Chlomid the first time you may not even be a good candidate. Are you younger than 32 and within the healthy range BMI? If you're above the healthy BMI your chances of hyper stimulation + poor quality eggs are raised, if you're above 32 you may not produce enough eggs. Those still may be risks you're both willing to take. For me though, since IVF is so expensive it would be devastation to have a non-responder if there was $12,000+ thrown at the process. The fact that she's willing to try is amazing - and speaks volumes about how positiveky she feels about you.

It sounds like you may have many hesitations - this really needs to be something you're 110% about. Most of us have paired up with young ladies who have children of their own and are proven donors, meaning they've donated multiple times with success. In my eyes, it's 2-3 cells that my wonderful ladies donated and once mixed with my husband's genetic combination and baked in my tummy, there's enough changes within the genetics & epigenetics that there'd be no doubt the child would be unique and not be a walking talking donor replica. Even if that were the case, I'm sure she'd be beautiful and have her own personality - I'd jump at the chance to give this gift to someone but I know myself and seeing my own eyes in a relatives child would only make me proud, never a negative feeling. I already see my cousins with the same eyes and features as myself - it's a blessing knowing/ having a neat little family to see similar characteristics.

You should take the request as the biggest compliment that anybody's ever given you in your life - I'm sure it was meant exactly in that manner. But please get some counselling if you are considering it, they will help you answer questions you've never thought about, and move past concerns you already have (either with resolution to go there or resolution to definitely not go there). You're wonderful to consider this for someone.

 

[Garnet]

Good Morning Ladies!
For all those ladies thinking about it sometimes the only option is to have a child or not! I had my last biological child at 39/40 and after that my eggs went to heck! We had 1 shot at a clinic in Prague but if it were my choice again I would go to a proven clinic ! One of our Ladies a long time ago went to Cypress and was successful! It seems kinda scary but we went on a vacation in Europe for 10 days and had fun! My cycle was not successful but if I were younger I would try try again!

 

[Garnet]

Hi 2have and all the other pregnant ladies! Hope you all are doing good! Just checking in on you all! Any new news? Everyone is baking along! So happy for you all! Pussycat so glad after so many tries you have your babies!

 

[crystal443]

A quick hi ladies �� will be back later ! As always 2have you have such a beautiful way with words it is just a few cells donated we do the rest of the work. It's a wonderful gift to get started with and a beautiful compliment to have someone ask to donate MrsPTTC I to had to use Clomid in my first pregnancies and my infertility got much worse as time passed so it may not even be an option. Take the counselling sessions offered and really discuss if you could be comfortable donating your eggs because it is ok to say no. Good luck!

Will catch up with everyone in a bit

 

[TTC74]

Someone on another thread suggested CNY Fertility in NY and said it was comparable to IVF abroad (when figuring in airfair and boarding). Does anyone know anything about CNY?

 

[2have4kids]

:wave: Hi Crystal & Garnet, thank you for the kind words
Garnet, I completely agree with you, we've had the best times of our life in Europe and now traveled more than any of our friends. If I didn't wind up pregnant I'd still have amazing memories - it's definitely worth the adventure.
Crystal, how are you doing? Are you cooling off a little down under? Must be SO nice to have older kids helping you love those gorgeous girls of yours. You are one lucky lady! If we can't get #2 within the year after this one naturally we're going back to Reprofit to do exactly what you & PC did, hoping for twins the second time round.

TTC I know the new york clinic that you're talking about is quite reputable and put out lots of studies every year, I don't know how much they cost and would be very suspicious if they were anywhere near close to the European clinic charges. I'd think they'd be on par with most other US clinics in being expen$ive but do check them out and let us know what you find out.

My friends have been so generous lately. One of my lovely friends gave me more cloth diapers to complete my collection and a range of other goodies (receiving blankets, a Peapod baby wrap carrier, blankets and diaper pail). And a colleague from work said she was going to get all of her gender neutral clothes that her son didn't even touch and gift them to me along with a stroller. I guess there are benefits to be the last person in my friends & colleagues to conceive

 

[SKP]

I caved and tested to see. And it was 9 Days past and......

BFP!!!

I am unable to post a pic at the moment. I will later its faint but there !

 

[Pinkie3]

2have, your response to MrsPTTC was great, you nailed it. I found it a very interesting read myself. Sounds like you have some great friends and family around you.

PC, thanks for the extra info on Reprofot. There is so much research to do.

A Question to the donor ladies... the people who knew you were going through IVF did you tell them you were having a donor cycle? Will your also be telling you child? Me & the OH are still in discussions about this.

SKP, congratulations on your BFP. A line is a line.