Inconceivable and beyond :-)

[2have4kids]

Hi coolstar, up till 23 weeks I had only gained 3 lbs. Then gradually bump came out and I'm here at 29 weeks hovering between 12-13 total gained. It depends on the person. The lower your bmi the more you can stand to gain. I was 24 so I don't need to gain too much, hoping for 20 max.

 

[crystal443]

LL that's exactly my struggle everything you mentioned because it is not adoption, it is not a birth mother, another family waiting to meet them, it was
a single cell donated to help create a life but by no means create that life. I guess the struggle is if they found out later in life will they find its a betrayal and say why didn't you just tell me tell it's no big deal? They may wonder what else we didn't tell them so I guess that's my concern with not telling is breaking that trust

 

[LLbean]

Crystal I guess it's harder because your older kids know... And your aunt...so you never know who may slip and say something. I would just address it when they find out about how babies are made, say that is an option as well, but I wouldn't even mention much about the donor, just that you got a cell that was needed? I don't know, guess it depends too on how much emphasis one gives the subject. Perhaps by then it would be so common place that it wouldn't even phase them...just don't stress now and I am sure when the time comes you will do what is right for you

 

[LLbean]

It is all done in such annonimity too, the donors don't necessarily want you to know about them either... Truly it is just a cell and you did the rest. That egg would not be a baby without your hubby and you. I think children will get it and it will be no big deal

 

[crystal443]

That's exactly how we're explaining it, there will be no romantic notions of a wonderful lady wanted to give a gift. It is a single cell and to be fair she was young and having a daughter in that age group she's said if she could donate and make a few bucks she probably would. It just doesn't have the same impact for a 19 year old that it does for a woman fighting years of infertility. So yep it's exactly as you say it'll just be explained it was needed as part of treatment just like steroids, intralipids, And the blood donors for IVIG were needed to sustain the pregnancy as well. If they ask why she donated I'll say to help out like a blood donor helps out. I think that line gets confused a lot with egg donation and crosses over into what would be adoption. Here it's open and egg donors will normally ask for yearly photos of the child produced or a school photo etc. To me that is like an open adoption not egg donation, which is why we went overseas I just can't imagine.

 

[crystal443]

I should add if it's a known donor then that's different but a complete stranger asking for photos is awkward ...

 

[LLbean]

yes I agree

 

[Pussycat1]

Such an interesting discussion, and individual to us all. It is of course very different from adoption and I suspect in years to come use of DE will be a much more common scenario do maybe it will be understood more. No matter what we believe Crystal is right, what's said cannot be taken back ...
TTC, from what you say your numbers sound good!
SKP will you have another blood test? Fingers crossed for you hon.
AFM, I'm a little bit worried. I'm 9 1/2 weeks and have been feeling not quite righ for the past few days, but never having been pregnant I have no idea if what I'm feeling is normal. I'm very tired as I wake every morning at 4:30 / 5:00 and trying to juggle a demanding job (thankfully quiet at the moment). I'm slowly dropping down my prednisone dose and now on 15mg. I'm not really sure how best to describe what in feeling, it's somewhere between bloated and menstrual cramping and I've had it since the weekend but no bleeding. Today I called the midwife and she's scared me by saying it could be one of the twins has died, not exactly reassuring. Luckily the early pregnancy unit have agreed to do a scan tomorrow morning so I don't have long to wait. Either way I'm so grateful for the scan as we go on holiday with my family at the weekend and planned on telling. I don't think I could wait till 10th Aug when my 12 week scan is booked. Part of me is sure it's just my uterus expanding to accommodate these bubbas and /or wind (sorry!), I've definitely expanded round the waist and boobs so hopefully all is still ok. x

 

[Coolstar]

Llbean, even I read about epigenetics. Although genetically the baby is not mine but still i have an influence since I am carrying it. And I totally agree with you , had I been an egg donor I won't like the baby to know about me.
SKP, did you go for another beta test ?
MrsG, how are you ?
2have, so I guess once I start gaining it will be rapid weight gain. I am scared how will I lose all the weight after the child birth. One of my friend who is 5+ months pg has already gained 20lbs. But I read through out your pregnancy one should gain 20 to 26lbs not more ( depending on your BMI, if BMI is low you can gain some more and if your BMI is more you should gain little less ).
PC, even during my 1st trimester I had stomach cramps around 9 to 11 weeks. I was so scared thought I would lose my baby and MrsG assured me it's common and it is just the uterus expanding. For your assurance its good that you are having an u/s tomorrow. Don't worry everything will be fine.

 

[Pinkie3]

Lots to catch up on again and some great views and opinions, thank you. I am starting to feel a lot more comfortable with how we want to handle things and how I am feeling about having an DE child. I have been reading out everyones comments to the DH and I think he wants to get involved lol.

PC, good luck at your scan tomorrow pleased to hear they are getting you in quickly. Sounds like your babies are doing a bit of growing. I am sure everything is fine and you'll be able to go on and enjoy your holiday.

 

[SKP]

I had another one this morning, and they called just before they closed and i am 306 still doubled but still low. Not out of the woods yet. I test again Friday and book for an ultrasound

 

[2have4kids]

PC good luck with the scan tomorrow!!

Coolstar don't worry too much about the weight gain. Bumps all come out at different times and you sound like you're doing ok. Just eat healthy, exercise regularly (walking is great) and drink loads of water.

 

[LLbean]

Best of luck SKP!!!!

 

[crystal443]

Ov, oh my good god why on earth would a midwife scare you like that??? Uugh if it helps at all hun I had cramps the entire time, it's two babies pulling and stretching and it's going to be growing pains. I did have cramping the entire time though just try and drink plenty of water, I was steroids until 24 weeks it doesn't hurt and just allows the placentas grow and not be attacked by your body it's up to you but it does help prevent growth restriction etc. You may also be feeling a bit off because your weening off steroids and feeling the full effects of a twin pregnancy, steroids give you energy and hide morning sickness etc. The more you ween the more symptoms your going to feel. Try not to stress though, I hoe all is well with your little beans you've fought so hard to get them this far

SKP great news hopefully things continue to progress well!!

 

[Pussycat1]

SKP, that's good news, hopefully things continue this way for you.
Coolstar, I was wondering about weight gain my BMI was c 21 when I started so right in the middle of the range for my height, l have put on a bit and definitely changed shape, however I have been stuffing my face and was quite careful before! Luckily what I eat is quite healthy so not too guilty about eating loads, the midwife told me I need to be eating an extra 600-1000 calories a day anyway.
Crystal, thank you your words are very reassuring and exactly what I was hoping. I know that tapering the steroids can have weird effects and abdominal cramp can be one, also I'm pretty small around my torso, so will need to do a lot of growing to fit two in! I've been dropping my dose by 2.5mg every 3-4 days, which is slower than the clinic told me (they said 5mg a week in one step). I'm down to 15mg and meant to be off them by week 12, I may keep going till 13 or 14 though slowly dropping. I know that when you get below 10mg it's important to take it extra slow as I believe your bodies natural level is c8mg It does worry me that it says not to take while pregnant. I didn't realise the steroids masked the effects of MS, I haven't had any and just thought I was lucky!

 

[SKP]

Thanks everyone!

How are you all doing?

 

[SKP]

I don't know if its coincidence or not, since I don't really know what week I am in. But tonight after not eating in a while, I had something to eat. The I took my prenatal pill with orange juice, like I have every night.

And not even 10 minutes I was in the bathroom vomiting. Is it too early for me?

 

[crystal443]

PC, I split the 5mgs tabs in half to 2.5 mgs and tapered so I didn't drop from 5 to nothing. They're ok to take in pregnancy, there's a slightly higher risk of cleft palate which you've already passed that development and of course your immune system is lower other then that things are good . I had no morning sickness and I had lots of energy, I felt ok in that regard lol

SKP, I'm ok life's busy and boring if you can believe that lol! Busy when bubs are awake but boring too because I get everything done and I sit here and wait for them to wake up, I have laundry done, house is clean, dinner cooked, so it can get a bit confining some days in that regard but I wouldn't change it for anything. How are you feeling?

 

[crystal443]

No it's not too early I don't think

 

[Mrs G]

Hi everyone.

PCI, hope scan goes well. I had loads of cramping and you've got 2 getting comfy in there!! Plus the drugs will be making you feel weird. I didn't really feel right til I was off the pred.

I've not weighed myself, in denial I think!! I know I put on loads on the pred but don't feel too bad since then. I am mostly bump...!!

Skp, keeping everything crossed for you. I have never actually been sick but def had those sick in the mouth moments from 5w.

Hi cool star. How are you feeling?

Sorry if I've missed any news, were away at the mo. Think baby boy has had a couple of quite days but we've been so busy I think he just chills out when I'm constantly on the go.

Big hugs all round. Xxx