Hi Mrs W and welcome! All the best with you're cycle xx would you be doing DEwhere you are then or flying somewhere if you have to cross that bridge?
DE is and isn't like adoption. While adoptions remain open to both families being a part of the child's life for the entirety of your child's life (here in Canada it's no longer a closed secretive adoption process by law thanks to the negative impacts closed adoptions had on all parties involved). DE remains different that way in that the donor is truly anonymous for the life of the child. If the adoptive parents/families choose to stay in the life of the child, it's a really positive thing-like having extended family with more people to celebrate that child at birthdays & holidays. The similarities that exist between DE and adoption, as explained to us by a psychologist, are that a tiny piece of the child's foundation has a question mark. Not all people / children care once they find out but many do (most do find out due to some reason or another)and if they've found out by accident or they view the act of holding that secret from them negatively, it can tear families apart, similar to what happened with closed adoptions. There are loads of online blogs about stories from real donor children and adopted children from all circumstances ie who were told, who have had it kept a secret, and most of the success stories that I've read about (and heard about in documentaries discussed by our adoption sociologists & fertility counsellor) have had positive outcomes by being honest and open with their child about where they've come from. Even when all you have is a few details from the donor and a conception story about how badly you wanted them in your life-it's still helps them build a strong sense of identity. It's keeping secrets that impact relationships negatively (DH, siblings, children - no matter what lie it is and DE /DS would be a big lie to a child). So even starting with a very simple age appropriate story about where they've come from, you should still end up with a child who feels solid in who they are and has a strong relationship with you due to the fact that you gave them everything you could (openness & honesty). Not everyone sees it this way but based on our research we feel we owe it to our future kids to have nothing less than this kind of transparent relationship with them.
We were going down the adoption route after many failed DE ivf's when we got pregnant naturally. We still may try for more children through DE IVF when the time comes but for now, with all the counselling and research we've done we both feel very strongly that you still have much to offer a DE child in the sense of helping them understand who they are and how badly they were wanted.
. But keeping my fingers crossed for your IUI.
nice and cushy 😊 I guess the only downfall is your on 12 mgs until 12 weeks but I always feel great on estrogen 
