Inconceivable and beyond :-)

[2have4kids]

We went down the surrogate road and usually they want to carry, not necessarily use their own eggs. So this is definitely a question for her. As well, it's more costly here to do surrogacy then adoption. You're responsible to pay a surrogate for any time off work, appointments, travel & logging expenses for IVF, IVF drugs & fees, and recovery (hopefully they qualify for maternity leave and can go on EI). Our lady was self employed and not making much so we would be expected to foot her salary for recovery - it was too much and too risky that she'd pull out. Her family had concerns even though she was confident & positive. The good thing is that The Calgary fc has of a law firm that can help with paper work if she agrees but they'd expect your family and her family to do counselling first to ensure you both have similar expectations & interests. At least that's one good thing about our local clinic!

After all of our investigations into surrogacy we decided for adoption. It's guaranteed and there's a clear process with extremely knowledgable social workers there to hold everyone's hand. Surrogacy can be quite a a bumpy road and the boundaries around it are very loose. With adoption they will come into your home and scrutinize both of you for psychological issues, and ensure you have a healthy support network, some people aren't comfortable being put under the light. I guess this is also maybe why I'm more in favour of adoption, they're going to ensure the best outcome for the child - that's a good feeling. I also like that the adoptive moms choose, it seems like a good process all around. This decision is very much like to tell a DE child or not to tell-a very personal thing. SKP if you can get someone to carry for you AND donate eggs - well that's great. Finding someone who qualifies to do IVF stimming and carry for you is a rare thing.

 

[SKP]

Thanks for your opinion ladies

My friend is someone that is going to register officially under the surrogacy donation of Canada something like that.

She wouldn't back out because she wants to be a surrogate, she been passionately talking about it for the past 5 years, and I believe she would do it for me in a heartbeat.

And she wouldn't be a donor, we would have someone else. Plus she don't work. She is a stay at home mom.

 

[Mrs W 11]

Skp I really hope your next ivf does work, but it's so positive that you have a possible option and next step if it doesn't. I really believe having a clear plan of action and a path forwards helps with the traumatic path of infertility.

Mrsg omg...since I've moved I think ill have my next baby at the same hospital as you!! It's sounds awful!! Ill be high risk as well... My last birth was EMCS and I had a major haemorrhage and ended up in icu so I really hoped for a good hospital I could trust next time. How was the care.... Chavvy patients aside?!!

Hi to everyone... Will reply personally soon. Just waiting for my first scan since starting stims and hoping for good news! Must go as DD is bored and jumping on me in cafe Nero!!!

 

[Mrs G]

Mrsw, where did you move to in the end, Christchurch? Bournemouth maternity is lovely, I transfered to there after one night but yeah Poole isn't great. But the midwives in both are lovely, just the facilities at Poole a bit dated. I have all my antenatal in bmth just the birth in Poole. Are you excited about your next cycle? Remind me where you're going? Xx

 

[SKP]

how is everyone doing

 

[Mrs W 11]

Hey girls, I'm ok, how's everyone else?

Mrsg, ahhh I see, ok I think we will be at bournemouth, not poole. Phew! That's a relief, at least I think it would be closer. No we didn't in the end, we moved to Ferndown.

Current cycle not going that well. First scan after a week of stims showed minimal response. They upped my stims and after 3 days there was some improvement so back today for another scan after another 3 days. I don't know, I was never convinced on doing long protocol with my low amh, and I'm just feeling really negative about this cycle. Apart from anything else I'm having to take my 3 year old on a 6 hour round bus trip and trawl across a busy city for every appointment/scan. Has anyone else just felt really negative about a cycle from the start? I'm trying it to but it's how I feel.

If this turns out to be the negative I think it will, it's straight to DE next. This roller coaster is taking too long making the age gap with my current dd bigger, it's costing us so much money and we don't have much left and it's taking its toll on me emotionally in a big way. I want another baby so we can move on and live our lives. I just can't do this anymore.

I don't think we will go abroad. Although I like the idea of donor anonymity, I do need to know eye colour, hair colour, height and maybe weight that's important to me. Plus going a few hours is so stressful, going abroad when I hate flying would be a nightmare.

In terms of fresh vs frozen, am I right in thinking that frozen would be quicker, but that fresh has a higher success rate and just a longer waiting list? How does it work if I want future siblings from the same donor? Do I just hope for frosties, or can I guarantee some how for a future donation?

Sorry for the down post!! Any advice or anything gratefully received.

Xx

 

[MinxyChick]

Hi Mrs W - sorry to hear this cycle is stressful for you. It sounds a right faff having to travel so far. I personally agree on the long protocol I think UK clinics like it as its easier for them to schedule.
To do DE in the UK you'll need to shop around as some clinics have a 2yr waiting list (ours did).
Sadly you won't have any dibs on later eggs so it'll be reliance on frosties.
Abroad you'll be able to get a basic match & find out the stuff above on appearance. I wasn't worried about weight as I think that's determined partly by the carrying Mum (interesting epigenics article on cat embryos, the ones put into a fat ginger cat came out fat & ginger & the ones into a sleek black cat = black & sleek kittens. Very interesting) & what they eat / exercise done.
Hoping this cycle works out & no need to think of this.

Skp - hope your ok.

How's everyone else?

Afm: we had our scan last Tuesday, miracle of all miracles the cystic hygroma had gone. The Dr measured the babies nuchal folds and they were 1.5 and 2.7.
3.5 is when it gets into red flag territory but to be safe we're having the harmony test to check their chromosomes. Results in about a week & a half. Can't tell any more people we're pg until then. I'm praying so hard these babies are ok. 13w4d today - can't believe it & not daring to think ahead xxx

 

[2have4kids]

Hi ladies!
Mrs W, you sound as frustrated as I was with stimming. It sounds like you may have more progress than I though. I'd love to hear you have some success, all you need are a few good ones! I never was able to get eggies to grow. We wanted to use frozen eggs from a donor in Reprofit this last European DE cycle as it's just me who has problems - I'd love to have DH's baby. They said they don't deal with frozen eggs at all as they're much too delicate to freeze and the success rates are too low. On the other hand, they were happy to offer us frozen embryos as an alternative for ~ 2000 for 2 whereas a fresh cycle was around $7500 Canadian. We were going to do a frozen embryo transfer as opposed to another fresh cycle even though it wouldn't be using DH's genes. Just want a baby right? They had found good tall matches for us and we were ready to give it a try. Saying all that our only option here in Canada is either an unpaid altruistic donor and fresh cycle or shipping in frozen eggs. Hockey, a DE lady on a previous thread was successful with frozen eggs but I think she was also already a very busy active mom wanting more children. Maybe things take easier when your body knows what to do already? Maybe you can egg share do fresh cycles and later have FET options where you are if you don't like travelling? Minxy and the other ladies would know much more about wait listing in Britain - I wish you luck whatever happens!

Minxy that's great news about the Nauchal fold measurements! We did the chromosomal testing too, just gave us piece of mind. When will you do this?

How is everyone else? Hope everyone had a good weekend. I dreamt last night that I left my skiis on the train (oh and I take the train all the time - prob 6 years ago but certainly not skiing)thanks to pregnancy brain. Then I woke up at 5am and remembered that I forgot to put my alarm on

So here I am-I'm up with an our to spare before I go to work. This whole pregnancy brain think is making me paranoid, I really am forgetting way too much stuff. My cell phone calendar is busy thinking for the two of us right now.

I made a lovely paella last night and took 4 bites only to be turned off completely. I was so mad, I just want to enjoy 1 meal! Crystal, BF and mom's when do your taste buds come back? I have no real aversions but I do feel like I could lose my dinner after just a few bites all the time. I have the worst head hunger ever in my life. I thought dieting was bad NOT EVEN. I dream of enjoying ice cream again. Yesterday I was envisioning being able to eat it (and enjoy the flavour) after birth in the hospital - what a treat that would be! Baby AND ice cream? Omg. Heaven! Rocky road, cookies & cream....

 

[Mrs W 11]

Thanks ladies!

Minxy that's great news about your babies, it certainly sounds positive and I will keep my fingers and toes crossed that the result from the tests are good too. You deserve to be able to enjoy your pregnancy as much as you can.

That's so interesting about the cat pregnancies! I have heard of epigenetics (from this thread I think) and do agree, I'm less worried about weight, more height, eye and hair colour. I'm confused though, I looked on reprofit website and it said they didn't any of those details on a donor anymore? Is that not right? The clinic I am with has a 3 month waiting list and other clinics in London have similar or less so as long as i register soon, I am happy with that wait. I'd rather sooner but 3 months will pass quickly.

2have that's good to know, I won't consider donor embryo, only donor eggs so I guess it needs to be a fresh cycle only then? Or do uk freeze eggs from donors? I don't know that much about it yet.

34 weeks already, wow! You'll have the baby and your ice cream before you know it!! I had a c section and was quite poorly after having my dd so I didn't feel back to my old self for a while, and then was soooo tired, but when you do start feeing yourself again, you are amazing how much you didn't feel yourself at the end of pregnancy - if that makes any sense at all?!!! Preggo brain, exhaustion, and feeling generally odd creeps up on you and then when you feel normal again it's a big relief!! By the end I couldn't climb the stairs without getting tired and out of breath, never mind do my normal chores and so on!!

Anyway, just had my scan and I have one big follie, one medium sized and a bunch of smaller which have so far done nothing despite about 10 days now of stims. The sister said either my last cycle was lucky or this one is unlucky as there's a big difference between 6 eggs and 1 or 2! Anyway she is suggesting we convert to iui this cycle and do ivf next cycle. I'm not sure there much point paying for iui though, maybe just dtd this month makes more sense. I'm so confused. We've been ttc for nearly 2 years now, if my eggs were good quality enough, wouldn't I be pregnant already?! I don't see what increased chance iui will give us really, some but not much.

 

[MinxyChick]

Mrs W - 3 months sounds good. I think it's worth giving your body a rest before doing another cycle. DE with fresh eggs is like a FET. A lot easier on you.
If DH has good sperm I'd skip the iui & just have some fun. Donor embryos is a massive step, if your DH has good sperm donor embryos would be a big step above DE. Plus the only donor embryos in the UK are from couples who've done IVF. Which was why we went abroad. I don't know a lot about reprofit but any where would want to match on eye, hair & height.

2have - 34 weeks! That's fantastic!
We had the test last Tuesday evening, so expecting the results next Tuesday. It takes a fortnight.

 

[2have4kids]

Well then Minxy, my f and t are crossed for perfect results for you!

Mrs W if you did egg sharing or donor egg fresh cycle you may have frosties afterwards - that's all I meant. And an FET cycle is easy compare to fresh. Embies freeze very well, much more hardy & resilient than eggs. But you're right, fresh is best for percentage of live birth. Way above 50% (in some clinics 70-80%). Reprofit does indeed give you all of those details that you're after, in fact you approve your donor before you start. FET percentages are not as high but still quite high and very frequently successful. Frozen eggs (which your clinic likely doesn't do anyway) is ~30% or less to live birth. Although my clinic in Calgary seems to only advertise their bfp rates which are very different then live birth rates where most other clinics advertise both. But my & SKP's clinic has been in the spotlight other negative international news issues other than just being questionable & shady with their stats, so-called 'immune testing', & fees:
https://calgaryherald.com/news/loca...-regional-fertility-programs-dr-calvin-greene

 

[Mrs G]

Hi everyone.
Mrs w, sorry your cycle isn't going to plan. I had a cycle with similar response to you, we abandoned it, I took the trigger and dtd. It didn't work for us but I'm hoping it will for you. We had a fresh donor egg cycle at Wessex fertility in Southampton and we have 4 blast frosties in case we want to try again. Don't know if they freeze eggs but def embies. Wessex are only 10 mins off the motorway and I can't recommend them enough. They also have a satellite clinic in Poole where can go for everything except et. They had a 6 month waiting list last yr. ps my parents live in Ferndown!

Hope everyone else is ok. 2have are you organised? I bought breast pads and maternity pads today, joy!!!

Xx

 

[Mrs W 11]

Weird, I've just checked reprofits website again and it says that you only receive the donors blood group and year of birth. It says eye colour, hair colour etc will not be provided about male or female donors. Anyway, I think uk is probably the way to go for us. And fresh. I think the London egg bank is the largest bank in the uk, does alone on here have much experience? Thanks for all the advice. It's so nice to know I'm not alone in this.

Mrs g I like the sound of Wessex but don't want to wait 6 months. I will check times with them though as it would be soooo much easier!! Ahhh maternity pads, living the dream haha!! Can't wait for all the glam of pregnancy and birth again!

 

[Mrs W 11]

Also I wouldn't bother paying the £900 my clinic want for iui but if I don't, they will charge me £700 for all the scans I've had so far so I might as well do iui and dtd I guess. His swimmers were fine last time we had them checked, sadly the issue is all me.

 

[2have4kids]

Hope everyone else is ok. 2have are you organised? I bought breast pads and maternity pads today, joy!!!

Xx

yes, I popped into my local pharmacy. The ladies always come out to see/feel my belly - they've been dispensing my ivf drugs for the past 3 years so they know all I've been through. They recommended the Depends/Tena type of disposable undies and also these ran to grab me these Always maxi pads. The lady excitedly explained they go all the way up your back side (me looking around embarrassed seeing if anyone heard). Then she proceeded to tell me that if you soak them with water and freeze them they call it the hoo haw popsicle, great for healing. OMG, I got REALLY scared with all that talk. They said to grab some bed pads from the hospital, they sell them at the pharmacy but the ladies said the hospital ones are washable even though hospitals would dispose of them. So I think I'm set too. Just need to get the car seat in the car and the hospital bag packed!

 

[Pinkie3]

Hi ladies, got back from my hols yesterday. Had a wonderful relaxing time, I switched off my mobile data and lost contact with the outside world, it was lovely. Loads to catch up on here.

SKP, I hope that whatever you decide to do from here finally brings you your rainbow. There are always lots of tough decisions.

MrsG/MrsW - My best friend lives in Ferndown, its lovely down there.

Minxy, great numbers and good luck with the harmony tests, I hope after all the heartache this is a happy ending and you can start telling people your wonderful news.

MrsW, I am sorry to hear this cycle isn't going as well as hoped. I agree with everything you said and that was exactly how I was feeling. Has there been any update?

2have, great picture and great bump! I hope you get to enjoy ice cream again real soon.

Hope everyone else is getting on well.

AFM, I came back from my hols to a nice surprise. We have a donor match, I couldn't wait to get on Skype this morning to find out the details. We know her age, weight, height, skin tone, hair and eye colour, blood type, her occupation and that she is a proven donor with her own child, we were really pleased with all the information and decided to go ahead. The clinic will now check the donors cycle and come back to me with a treatment plans. Super nervous but super excited!

 

[Coolstar]

Hi Ladies, so much to catch up !! Last week was terrible for me. I had pain in my right arms and it was so severe that I could not even lift my hand to brush my hair or drink a glass of water. I did endure the pain for 4 days without any pain killers. I used to wake up at middle of the night and cry. I did call up my ob and she told me take an appointment with a neurologist. We decided to go to emergency on 20th since I could not take it anymore. My pulse was 140 and they did an EKG and gave me IV drip. They also did an u/s of my hand to see if it was a blood clot. Everything looked fine and they could not figure out the reason so they put me on Tylenol . It took me around 1 week to recover.
Also I was referred to fetal echocardiogram. They said IVF babies have more chances of having heart problem . They did a detailed u/s of the babies heart and everything looked perfect. I could see the baby moving and it was really amazing.
2have, love your profile pic !!

 

[Pinkie3]

Coolstar, that's sounds a little scary and painful. Glad to hear you have recovered and that everything was ok with baby.

 

[Coolstar]

Pinkie, nice to read you have found your donor. FXed for your cycle. Will you be starting with BCP soon.

 

[2have4kids]

Pinkie congrats on your donor match not long now!!
Coolstar that's pretty scary about your arm. Sorry this happened to you and very happy to hear you're ok
Mrs G & Mrs W how are you ladies? You ok mrs W? Sorry about your cycle, treat yourself kindly lady