Is CC/CIO now my only option?

[felix555]

As you will tell from my post, I do not intend for this to be a debate about CIO/CC I am rather just asking for advice because I am completely desperate.

My LO is 6 months old, he's always been a really bad sleeper from the start really but it really has got so bad now and I feel when I tell people "my baby sleeps badly" they think I am being over dramatic. I have started to keep logs of his sleeping because I try different things all the time and want to see if things are improving by looking back at the logs (they're really not)

A typical night would be:

bed: 20:30

then wakes up at:
21:29,
23:17,
22:40,
00:04,
00:46,
01:10,
03:09,
03:51,
05:16 until 06:03,
07:05,
awake for the day 08:15

This is quite typical but sometimes it can be worse, never really better than that though.

I suspected he has a lactose intolerance but he is on dairy and lactose free milk now ... now i wonder if that is not making his reflux worse. But I am starting to think maybe really is just a bad, bad sleeper.

I blame myself, I've never left him to cry more than half a minute and still hold him for all his naps. literally everyone tells me I have spoilt him and I am really thinking I have and I feel so guilty because he must be sleep deprived and I am too.

I have tried everything, I have read every sleep book. I have tried earlier bedtime, later bedtime etc.

I have had a similar post to this about a month ago and got some really helpful answers, most ladies agreed that I should leave him to learn to self settl ... But I am now desperate and thinking CIO/CC is the only way to break his bad habit?

Ughh I don't know

 

[JessyG]

hey chick, no parent wants to see their child cry but I would definitely give cc a go if i was in your situation. I assume so but have you tried the pupd technique?

My baby is only 6 weeks so there is no way i would let her cio but at 6 months he should be learning to self settle and so i would say give it a go. Maybe have someone with you the first night or two so you dont feel so guilty or run to pick him up (i know i would).

 

[lozzy21]

Waking that many times I think you need to find out why he is waking so much rather than trying to get him back to sleep.

 

[Button#]

What are daytime naps like?

 

[felix555]

Yes I was thinking of getting a sleep trainer to come spend the night because I really don't think I can do it on my own. I can't leave him to cry but this is why he's so bad at sleeping. I have really not done him any favours

I am trying really hard to find out what is making him wake up by trying to rule out medical reasons but the GPs just think I am a neurotic mother I think.

His naps really vary and some days he's OK but some days he has 20 minute naps. I try to put him down every 2 hours for naps and then it's usually 3 hours from his last nap to bedtime.

Yesterday these were his naps:

awake: 8:30
nap 1: 10:00 - 11:20
nap 2: 13:20 - 14:05
nap 3: 16:05 - 17:10

Actually yesterday was a really good nap day!

I have to rock him to sleep for naps otherwise he just refuses naps so badly. And once he wakes up from a nap he's awake whether the nap was 10 mins or an hour, you can't get him back asleep.

 

[Babybear85]

You say your little one has always been a bad sleeper. Have they had any time inbetween whereby they have had periods of sleeping ok. The reason I ask is because my little one is a great sleeper for a few weeks then we get hit by a wonder week and all goes arseup.are they teething. Does your little one just wake but not want milk. It's so tough because I want to say no dont because at 6 months I think it's more likely to be somethin underlying but you say you have exhausted that..my little one is 6 months next week I dont think he would get cc yet I think he would just think I was gone...sorry I havnt been much help but I guess I would have to absolutely have to have exhausted anything underlying first really. Also with teething and wonder weeks even ifyou did control crying would it work...I did it with my eldest when he was twelve months he was a horrendous sleeper but I couldn't bring myself to do it before that as he was teething and what not and I was worried he would be in pain

 

[felix555]

No he's never had period of sleeping well. In all his life I don't think he's slept for more than 3 hours at a time.

He doesn't wake up because he is hungry, about a month ago he dropped his night bottle because he wasn't interested in it anymore. He's actually started having a bottle again in the last 2 weeks since being on this special dairy and lactose free formula because it digests easier and he's hungry again in the middle of the night. but him waking up hasn't got anything to do with hunger because he does it hourly (or sometimes half hourly) form when he wakes up.

It's not teething or a wonder week because he's always done it, he doesn't have bad weeks or a bad month even. He's just always like this.

Deep down I think there is something underlying but I don't know how to get the GPs to diagnose it. I am waiting for a referral to the specialist but this could take a long time.

I also don't want to leave him to cry this is an absolute last resort, I am starting to feel guilty because he's sleep deprived and surely that can't be good for him. This is why I might have to pay to get a sleep therapist to spend the night because I will give up after 1 minute of crying

 

[Button#]

I personally wouldn't leave him to CIO or CC if he has underlying health issues. I don't know much about it as I've never done it but I believe it's not recommended if there's a possible health reason to the wakings.

3 hours is a long gap for awake time at that age. I would try and reduce that and persevere with trying to get that referral. Right now I would go for survival and do whatever makes life easier. I also do not believe you have spoilt your LO. I held mine for naps until 7 months and since then he has napped in his cot no problem.

 

[Babybear85]

I totally get it hun I was where you are lookin back on that time with my eldest it was not a good time. I guess if you can rule things out it's possible your littly is just a bad sleeper and the thing is your not going to just do this for yourself, your little one must be so grumpy from the lack of sleep. I have never heard of a sleep therapist but maybe enquire because you can't carry on like you are

 

[felix555]

I personally wouldn't leave him to CIO or CC if he has underlying health issues. I don't know much about it as I've never done it but I believe it's not recommended if there's a possible health reason to the wakings.

3 hours is a long gap for awake time at that age. I would try and reduce that and persevere with trying to get that referral. Right now I would go for survival and do whatever makes life easier. I also do not believe you have spoilt your LO. I held mine for naps until 7 months and since then he has napped in his cot no problem.

I have done the 90 minute sleep plan (for 3 weeks) where you never let him go more than 90 minutes between naps so it was 90 minutes from last nap to bedtime and that made no difference.

 

[Pielette]

What do you do to get him back to sleep when he wakes?

 

[felix555]

sometimes i just put him back to sleep but sometimes he is crying so hard that I pick him up and rock him as this is the only thing that will help.

If i don't rock him when he gets that upset then I am up for 3 hours. Last night we were up from 3:15ish until 5is, this is very normal. monday night i thought i would just see if he will settle by himself and we were literally awake with him going between playing and crying from 1 until 5 I actually couldn't believe he could go that long without sleeping.

 

[Sparrow85]

I'm an advocate of sleep training, especially when baby is waking as excessively as yours.

However, I agree with everyone else; there is a reason he is waking so often and I do think you have to push to find out what this is. I wouldn't sleep train unless you are absolutely certain he isn't in any pain or has a health problem.

How is his temperament during the day? And when and how long does he nap for?

 

[lanaross]

what happens when he sleeps on you, does he take longer naps that way? have you tried it? My DD had a reflux and she'd only sleep on me for three months to the point that I couldn't use a bathroom. The second I put her down somewhere else, she'd wake up. At 4 months or so, I did a very gentle sleep training when I am sitting with her and she sees me but I don't pick her up. Then I'd leave for a couple minutes when she's calm and come back when she was crying. I also didn't let her fall asleep while eating and did an activity after eating. Also my bed time routine was always on time, always the same, and after lights out no talking, no eye contact, smiling etc. I swear I read all possible sleep books out there and just did a mix of different approaches. Eventually it paid off, she started sleeping through the night around that time and take good naps. She's still an awesome sleeper and loves it. Never had any issues with her after this "training", aside from when she was sick. Now my DS is a different story all together but we're still getting to know each other..
Do remember that every baby is absolutely different and I am pretty sure that what worked for my daughter wouldn't work for my son (e.g. she'd fall asleep in her swing, he hates it)..

I'd check with the doctor to make sure there are no additional medical issues and then read every book out there/talk to everybody you can and try every possible solution. You know your LO better so you'd have an idea what might work for him. Once you have a plan, stick to it because it does take 3-7 nights for them to get it.

 

[overcomer79]

Hey my dd was always a poor sleeper. She never got any better. I agree to get LO checked for medical issues but dd had developed poor sleep association. Do you put him down awake or asleep? My breaking point was she would wake up just to be rocked to sleep over and over. We eventually had to do cc. I can't do cio because she gets even more upset and I can't handle it.

 

[lozzy21]

I seriously doubt the fact you have never let him cry is the reason he wakes so much. My daughter is nearly and has never been left to cry and she has only woke in the night when ill. I don't know any one who has sleep trained in real life and none have then have had those issues ether.

Putting it down to just having never left him cry could make him suffer more.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I would cut out naps after 4:30pm to be honest xxx hugs

 

[overcomer79]

I seriously doubt the fact you have never let him cry is the reason he wakes so much. My daughter is nearly and has never been left to cry and she has only woke in the night when ill. I don't know any one who has sleep trained in real life and none have then have had those issues ether.

Putting it down to just having never left him cry could make him suffer more.

I have one of those kids. I didn't sleep train just because I wanted to. DD would associate her ability to sleep with being rocked. I didn't sleep train ds but I could handle him waking once a night and come in with me. She wouldn't do that. She had to be rocked. It does happen. It was damn near impossible because dh wouldn't let her cry and would run straight to her. So it does happen. It might happen with high needs babies more so.

 

[felix555]

I'm an advocate of sleep training, especially when baby is waking as excessively as yours.

However, I agree with everyone else; there is a reason he is waking so often and I do think you have to push to find out what this is. I wouldn't sleep train unless you are absolutely certain he isn't in any pain or has a health problem.

How is his temperament during the day? And when and how long does he nap for?

I am trying to push, I have just phoned the duty doctor again and she said I have to just wait for the referral there is nothing they can do, this can take up to 6 weeks to get the appointment letter through.

I don't even think I can survive one more night of this never mind 6 weeks at least.

He used to be OK during the day but it's been getting so progressively worse he now fusses for most of the day too.

He will only nap on me and hardly ever longer than an hour

 

[felix555]

what happens when he sleeps on you, does he take longer naps that way? have you tried it? My DD had a reflux and she'd only sleep on me for three months to the point that I couldn't use a bathroom. The second I put her down somewhere else, she'd wake up. At 4 months or so, I did a very gentle sleep training when I am sitting with her and she sees me but I don't pick her up. Then I'd leave for a couple minutes when she's calm and come back when she was crying. I also didn't let her fall asleep while eating and did an activity after eating. Also my bed time routine was always on time, always the same, and after lights out no talking, no eye contact, smiling etc. I swear I read all possible sleep books out there and just did a mix of different approaches. Eventually it paid off, she started sleeping through the night around that time and take good naps. She's still an awesome sleeper and loves it. Never had any issues with her after this "training", aside from when she was sick. Now my DS is a different story all together but we're still getting to know each other..
Do remember that every baby is absolutely different and I am pretty sure that what worked for my daughter wouldn't work for my son (e.g. she'd fall asleep in her swing, he hates it)..

I'd check with the doctor to make sure there are no additional medical issues and then read every book out there/talk to everybody you can and try every possible solution. You know your LO better so you'd have an idea what might work for him. Once you have a plan, stick to it because it does take 3-7 nights for them to get it.

he sleeps on me that is the only way i get him to nap, i have started to put him down for naps but can only do it when he is fast asleep already. i've done this for 6 months and it's not got better and he doesn't sleep longer when I hold him.

he's had a bedtime routine since he was 1 day old of bath, massage, bottle, bed. lights are always dim during the night. I put him down awake and as long as i am there he will mostly settle himself if i stroke his hair of pat him. although this week that's got worse again and he won't self settle at all.

thanks for the suggestions