Is he overreacting or am i in the wrong?

[Becky61]

Please answer honestly.

I wouldnt normally post about private matters within my relationship, but this has really got me bothered.

My mum is off work this week, so we have arranged days out with LO for the full 5 days. Perfect.

Yesterday we went to the beach, the traffic was awful, so we stopped off for a drink (a shandy & a pint of stella) & i sent OH a picture to make him jealous. Not in a mean way, we always play fight/play tricks on each other. He works as an engineer & does a lot of driving. I guess i knew he would probably also be stuck in traffic somewhere. It wasnt done to be nasty though.

When i came home, he said he would of rather recieved a picture of me giving oral sex to another bloke (basically saying "that was really nasty & pissed me off, dont do it again")

So, when we went out for a pub lunch today, i did IT again. I sent him a picture of our drinks. Again i need to express i am his wind up toy 24/7, he pulls up my skirt in public/puts the washing-up cloth, used, wet & dirty, down my top when ive just had a shower/pulls me off the sofa by my toes/salt in my water etc. We CONSTANTLY wind one another up.

So hes come in today, stormed in, "I told you that pisses me off, im working my arse off in 28 degrees heat & you send me pictures like that!" & now hes sat in the bedroom & im in the living room. We havent said a word to each other.

*Must add that when i got home, i went to the shop, bought him some cans of stella & put them in the fridge for when he returned home from work!

**Also add that we are never horrible to eachother & never row. On the odd occasion we have had slights words, we discuss it through straight away, see eachothers point of view, & move on. Whats going on now has never happened before, but i refuse to go in there as i feel no need to apologize or beg forgiveness for something i know he would do right back at me!

Am i a bitch or is he slightly overreacting??

 

[cookette]

Honestly, I think both. Im probably going to be in the minority here though.

I think he's being a baby. It was nice of you to pick some Stella up for him. Not so nice to rub it in that you get to go have a nice time with your LO while he's working his butt off; especially if he was clearly beyond aggravated the first time you did it. He's probably jealous and feels a bit left out though.

 

[emyandpotato]

Well I think the fact that he was so pissed off the first time is a bit dumb considering the things he does, plus it's hardly something to be really angry at. A little annoyed and jealous yes but not angry. I agree with PP that he was being a baby.

But then to do it again after his first reaction was bang out of order, so overreaction on his part or not I'm not quite sure what else you expected to happen all things considered?!

 

[Vesta]

I think deliberately doing that again after he'd told you how much it upset him, was a pretty horrible thing to do tbh.

 

[Noodlebear]

He overreacted but I don't understand why you did it again, the next day, after he made it pretty clear that it pissed him off? That seems like you were genuinely trying to get under his skin rather than be playful and would probably have annoyed me quite a lot too.

 

[hayz_baby]

Coming from a relationship where we are quite similar in the sense of winding each other up the first image tbh wouldn't be controversial. I know my oh has also done similar to his mates and visa versa.
Saying that I wouldn't of done it again if it had got a negative reaction the first time that seemed out of line.

Maybe go in with a beer as a peace offering and instead of apologizing ask if there is anything on his mind as his reaction wasn't expected

 

[Becky61]

Im taking everything you ladies are saying on board, & totally appreciate the honesty.

My only comment would be that it doesnt matter how many times i tell him his practical jokes annoy the hell outta me, & sometimes im just not in the mood for them (like last weekend, he nearly had me in tears because he dunked my face in the dirty washing up water because he thought it would be funny) i know for a fact he doesnt hesitate to do them time & time again!! I rarely get my own back because hes bigger & stronger than me, & i would struggle to do the things he does to me, to him. I guess i feel he just cant take it like he gives it out.

 

[Redfraggle]

He overreacted but I don't understand why you did it again, the next day, after he made it pretty clear that it pissed him off? That seems like you were genuinely trying to get under his skin rather than be playful and would probably have annoyed me quite a lot too.

^^ This. While he is overreacting a bit it was pretty cruel to do it again knowing he didn't like it the day before

 

[Camlet]

I've got to agree with the previous posters I think he is being a bit silly but at the same time it wasn't a great idea to do it again the next day after he told you how much it annoyed him the first time xx

 

[Noodlebear]

So....you play jokes on eachother that neither of you like? Like a tit for tat sort of thing? That doesn't sound very nice at all.

 

[misspriss]

Im taking everything you ladies are saying on board, & totally appreciate the honesty.

My only comment would be that it doesnt matter how many times i tell him his practical jokes annoy the hell outta me, & sometimes im just not in the mood for them, or like last weekend, he had me.in.tears because he dunked.my face in the dirty washing up water because he thought it would be funny, i know for a fact he doesnt hesitate to do them time & time again!! I rarely get my own back because hes bigger & stronger than me, & i would struggle to do the things he does to me, to him. I guess i feel he just cant take it like he gives it out.

On the surface, I agree with the PP that the second time was too much, but we don't know the whole story. After reading this, I think you are right, he seems to think he can give it all he wants but he can't take it.

 

[Baby Bell]

Im taking everything you ladies are saying on board, & totally appreciate the honesty.

My only comment would be that it doesnt matter how many times i tell him his practical jokes annoy the hell outta me, & sometimes im just not in the mood for them, or like last weekend, he had me.in.tears because he dunked.my face in the dirty washing up water because he thought it would be funny, i know for a fact he doesnt hesitate to do them time & time again!! I rarely get my own back because hes bigger & stronger than me, & i would struggle to do the things he does to me, to him. I guess i feel he just cant take it like he gives it out.

On the surface, I agree with the PP that the second time was too much, but we don't know the whole story. After reading this, I think you are right, he seems to think he can give it all he wants but he can't take it.

This don't give it if you can't take it back. I would be tempted to go in to the bedroom and tell him so myself. Not in a nasty way but in a 'now you understand what you put me through' kinda discussion way. And if he is still huffy I'd drink the beer you'd bought him (just because I think dunking someone's head in dirty dish water is a billion times worse than a photo of beer).

 

[misspriss]

Im taking everything you ladies are saying on board, & totally appreciate the honesty.

My only comment would be that it doesnt matter how many times i tell him his practical jokes annoy the hell outta me, & sometimes im just not in the mood for them, or like last weekend, he had me.in.tears because he dunked.my face in the dirty washing up water because he thought it would be funny, i know for a fact he doesnt hesitate to do them time & time again!! I rarely get my own back because hes bigger & stronger than me, & i would struggle to do the things he does to me, to him. I guess i feel he just cant take it like he gives it out.

On the surface, I agree with the PP that the second time was too much, but we don't know the whole story. After reading this, I think you are right, he seems to think he can give it all he wants but he can't take it.

This don't give it if you can't take it back. I would be tempted to go in to the bedroom and tell him so myself. Not in a nasty way but in a 'now you understand what you put me through' kinda discussion way. And if he is still huffy I'd drink the beer you'd bought him (just because I think dunking someone's head in dirty dish water is a billion times worse than a photo of beer).

I second that!

 

[HoneyBee144]

My DH and I do the same sort of thing, if I'm off work and he's not I'll send him a picture of me out having lunch and if I'm at work and he's not he usually sends me a picture of him relaxing with a beer or something. It's never actually annoyed me, of course I'd rather not be at work but I'm never annoyed at him for sending it, I think it's funny! My husband is a fork lift truck driver so is outside nearly all day from 6am-6pm, in proper work uniform with steel toe capped boots the lot so gets really hot etc but he's never got angry at me for sending him pictures. He finds it funny too. Having said that if he did tell me it pissed him off I wouldn't do it again.

I couldn't cope if my DH did half the stuff to wind me up that your partner does especially not dunking my head in dirty washing up water. That's just me though, if that works in your relationship then that's fine but like misspriss said he shouldn't give out what he can't take.

 

[emyandpotato]

Im taking everything you ladies are saying on board, & totally appreciate the honesty.

My only comment would be that it doesnt matter how many times i tell him his practical jokes annoy the hell outta me, & sometimes im just not in the mood for them (like last weekend, he nearly had me in tears because he dunked my face in the dirty washing up water because he thought it would be funny) i know for a fact he doesnt hesitate to do them time & time again!! I rarely get my own back because hes bigger & stronger than me, & i would struggle to do the things he does to me, to him. I guess i feel he just cant take it like he gives it out.

He doesn't sound very nice TBH. If you can't be taken seriously yet he overreacts at the same treatment it doesn't sound too good. You need to have a serious talk about how much his jokes can upset you and if he continues then I don't think he's as nice a guy as you think he is.

 

[Rainbow82]

First time a bit of an overreaction second time no, he'd already told you it pissed him off.

Just a thought though, most if the time you don't enjoy his jokes he doesn't enjoy yours what are either of you getting out if this? Not the relationship, I just mean the practical jokes. Sounds like it's gone a bit far on both sides and as you know the first photo annoyed home so much it sounds like the second was maybe a bit if revenge for some of the jokes he's played on you? I don't know anyone who would find having their head dunked in dirty dishwater funny. It sounds quite horrible especially if it nearly had you in tears. maybe a good long talk is needed?

Eta hope this didn't come across the wrong way, I've never had the sort if relationship with lots of practical jokes so could be way off base, in which case ignore all the above.

 

[Lauraxamy]

As much as I do think he was over reacting maybe.. If I knew that would wind him I wouldn't of done it and I definitely wouldn't of done it a second time after his reaction the first time.

 

[Emma&Freya]

He dunks your head in dirty water?

 

[tinkerbelle93]

Since you can usually discuss things without arguing then i would have a conversation with him about, and about General boundries with the playing pranks if youre sometimes upsetting each other. I think he was overreacting but i know how grumpy my dh is getting working in baking hot temps and can be moody when he gets back so maybe he was in a generally bad mood and is taking it out on that x

 

[lau86]

It all sounds a bit childish and not very fun tbh? I think you both probably need to cut it out but him more than you. If he can't take it he shouldn't do it! His 'jokes' also are definitely not funny, dunking your head in dirty washing up water is horrid