Is it right to smack a child?

[Eve]

Started a poll to those okay with spanking only.

 

[Lightworker]

Interesting read - my favourite bit was the philosophical issues raised re our own ability (or inability, as the case may be) to judge our own emotional wellbeing. goodstuff

 

[alaskagrown]

Haha...wow......... I'm pretty sure the 6 or 7 times I was spanked throughout my childhood had absolutely no impact on my life whatsoever....aside from me never even thinking of repeating my poor choices that resulted in the swat on the butt to begin with!
Any psychologist who wants to tell me otherwise can find bite me!

And there is a definite increase in lazy parenting and bratty kids! Not saying that it's because less parents spank these days...but I think so many young parents are getting the notion that even saying "NO!" to their kids is emotionally abusive! Who knows....maybe some bored psychologist will come up with a study in the near future that will "confirm" that saying no to our children is traumatizing..

Some woman (my age...early 20's) was sitting in church the other week with her two year old who was climbing on the seats like a jungle gym. She told him to sit down and plopped his butt on the chair. He was PISSED, stood up, and punched her in the face! The mom chuckled and said in a BABY VOICE(!!?!), "Oh no tweetie...dat's not vewy nice!"
What is this world coming to!!

 

[Dragonfly]

I have never heard of saying NO being emotionally abusive? any articles on that about? Some parents are permissive sadly.

 

[Eve]

Haha...wow......... I'm pretty sure the 6 or 7 times I was spanked throughout my childhood had absolutely no impact on my life whatsoever....aside from me never even thinking of repeating my poor choices that resulted in the swat on the butt to begin with!
Any psychologist who wants to tell me otherwise can find bite me!

And there is a definite increase in lazy parenting and bratty kids! Not saying that it's because less parents spank these days...but I think so many young parents are getting the notion that even saying "NO!" to their kids is emotionally abusive! Who knows....maybe some bored psychologist will come up with a study in the near future that will "confirm" that saying no to our children is traumatizing..

Some woman (my age...early 20's) was sitting in church the other week with her two year old who was climbing on the seats like a jungle gym. She told him to sit down and plopped his butt on the chair. He was PISSED, stood up, and punched her in the face! The mom chuckled and said in a BABY VOICE(!!?!), "Oh no tweetie...dat's not vewy nice!"
What is this world coming to!!

what should she have done to a toddler in your opinion?

 

[indy and lara]

Haha...wow......... I'm pretty sure the 6 or 7 times I was spanked throughout my childhood had absolutely no impact on my life whatsoever....aside from me never even thinking of repeating my poor choices that resulted in the swat on the butt to begin with!
Any psychologist who wants to tell me otherwise can find bite me!

And there is a definite increase in lazy parenting and bratty kids! Not saying that it's because less parents spank these days...but I think so many young parents are getting the notion that even saying "NO!" to their kids is emotionally abusive! Who knows....maybe some bored psychologist will come up with a study in the near future that will "confirm" that saying no to our children is traumatizing..

Some woman (my age...early 20's) was sitting in church the other week with her two year old who was climbing on the seats like a jungle gym. She told him to sit down and plopped his butt on the chair. He was PISSED, stood up, and punched her in the face! The mom chuckled and said in a BABY VOICE(!!?!), "Oh no tweetie...dat's not vewy nice!"
What is this world coming to!!

what should she have done to a toddler in your opinion?

I would have suggested a FIRM voice to say NO, not baby talk. And also saying that if he was going to behave like that then they would have to leave. And follow through.

There are so manyparents who never follow through to demonstrate that there are consequences for actions. They simply make empty threats. When we say to E that we are going to leave/ stop activity if XYZ behaviour continues then we ALWAYS follow through. Sometimes it is more painful for us (eg, really poor behaviour at soft play means we all have to leave, even if I have just started my coffee) but consistency is the key.

 

[ShanandBoc]

I see this all the time. Parent says no, child throws a tantrum. parent gives in. Child then realises bad enough behavior will get them what they want. I cringe when i see this happen.' let your yes mean yes and ur no mean no' such simple but such good advice

 

[alaskagrown]

I see this all the time. Parent says no, child throws a tantrum. parent gives in. Child then realises bad enough behavior will get them what they want. I cringe when i see this happen.' let your yes mean yes and ur no mean no' such simple but such good advice

Even worse..parents don't even bother saying no. I was at the grocery store last weekend when I saw a mom pushing her kid in a grocery cart. The mom was texting while steering and the kid stood up and grabbed some cereal off the shelf. Mom grabs the box from the kid and throws it in the cart. Continues to text-shuffle and push cart....HAHA I couldn't believe it!

I thought there was a general rule that existed when I was a kid: If I wanted something it automatically meant no

 

[Dragonfly]

Whats this got to do with smacking?

 

[alaskagrown]

Haha...wow......... I'm pretty sure the 6 or 7 times I was spanked throughout my childhood had absolutely no impact on my life whatsoever....aside from me never even thinking of repeating my poor choices that resulted in the swat on the butt to begin with!
Any psychologist who wants to tell me otherwise can find bite me!

And there is a definite increase in lazy parenting and bratty kids! Not saying that it's because less parents spank these days...but I think so many young parents are getting the notion that even saying "NO!" to their kids is emotionally abusive! Who knows....maybe some bored psychologist will come up with a study in the near future that will "confirm" that saying no to our children is traumatizing..

Some woman (my age...early 20's) was sitting in church the other week with her two year old who was climbing on the seats like a jungle gym. She told him to sit down and plopped his butt on the chair. He was PISSED, stood up, and punched her in the face! The mom chuckled and said in a BABY VOICE(!!?!), "Oh no tweetie...dat's not vewy nice!"
What is this world coming to!!

what should she have done to a toddler in your opinion?

And in that situation I would have grabbed his fist and said, "NO!" in a firm voice and pointed my angry shaking finger in his face with a red angry face and "the eye." Oh my gosh...haha..that face my mom gave me when I was little was obviously a powerful one that instilled fear for my life I thought she was so mad her head would pop off!

 

[alaskagrown]

I have never heard of saying NO being emotionally abusive? any articles on that about? Some parents are permissive sadly.

I was being semi-sarcastic about this: If some psychologist can write an article about me suppressing my ill-feelings about being spanked when I was 4, one can surely write an article about the word "no" being emotionally abusive.

 

[pinklightbulb]

^ Agree. Delusional... pah lol.

 

[Eve]

Haha...wow......... I'm pretty sure the 6 or 7 times I was spanked throughout my childhood had absolutely no impact on my life whatsoever....aside from me never even thinking of repeating my poor choices that resulted in the swat on the butt to begin with!
Any psychologist who wants to tell me otherwise can find bite me!

And there is a definite increase in lazy parenting and bratty kids! Not saying that it's because less parents spank these days...but I think so many young parents are getting the notion that even saying "NO!" to their kids is emotionally abusive! Who knows....maybe some bored psychologist will come up with a study in the near future that will "confirm" that saying no to our children is traumatizing..

Some woman (my age...early 20's) was sitting in church the other week with her two year old who was climbing on the seats like a jungle gym. She told him to sit down and plopped his butt on the chair. He was PISSED, stood up, and punched her in the face! The mom chuckled and said in a BABY VOICE(!!?!), "Oh no tweetie...dat's not vewy nice!"
What is this world coming to!!

what should she have done to a toddler in your opinion?

And in that situation I would have grabbed his fist and said, "NO!" in a firm voice and pointed my angry shaking finger in his face with a red angry face and "the eye." Oh my gosh...haha..that face my mom gave me when I was little was obviously a powerful one that instilled fear for my life I thought she was so mad her head would pop off!

firm and no I agree with but instilling fear into an innocent child.I have to disagree with. We are their guide, it is up to us to teach love and respect and to me, fear has nothing to do with it and has no proper place in parenting. Thats how I see it though. I do understand others will not feel the same.

 

[Dragonfly]

I have never heard of saying NO being emotionally abusive? any articles on that about? Some parents are permissive sadly.

I was being semi-sarcastic about this: If some psychologist can write an article about me suppressing my ill-feelings about being spanked when I was 4, one can surely write an article about the word "no" being emotionally abusive.

Plenty of people have been scared by smacking and more from child hood you are one of the lucky ones. I wouldnt be poking fun at it .

 

[pinklightbulb]

A lot of people have yes but as said repeatedly it isn't as though we are child bashers.

 

[indy and lara]

I am a 70s child. The majority of my generation were smacked. We are not a traumatised generation due to it. There is a huge gulf between the occasional smack and regular heavy handed abuse. My parents did not abuse me, they very occasionally smacked me. They also removed treats, followed through and set boundaries. It was one tool they used. As I said already, I do not plan to use smacking but I do not think those who do are wrong or look down on them. Nor do I think not smacking makes me a better parent.

 

[pinklightbulb]

Whatever method is used I think consistency is the biggest key

 

[alaskagrown]

I have never heard of saying NO being emotionally abusive? any articles on that about? Some parents are permissive sadly.

I was being semi-sarcastic about this: If some psychologist can write an article about me suppressing my ill-feelings about being spanked when I was 4, one can surely write an article about the word "no" being emotionally abusive.

Plenty of people have been scared by smacking and more from child hood you are one of the lucky ones. I wouldnt be poking fun at it .

I'm not treading lightly on people who beat their children on a daily basis, but people who spank their kids on the butt once a great moon? Big difference..

 

[Eve]

But what is spanking really?
What do you call inflicting pain and instilling fear in a child?
It just makes me sad is all

 

[pinklightbulb]

My boy isn't scared of me