Is it right to smack a child?

[pinklightbulb]

It isn't that I like smacking my son If I enjoyed it then we'd have a problem. For me it's the most effective way of discipline as he is very wilful and refuses to listen no matter how many times I remove/distract/scream at him. He knows what 'NO' means and simply doesn't care.
When I get tired of repeating my (useless) actions over and over and over, he will get a smack as a last resort.
I am very patient for the most part but there are some things I won't tolerate, e.g. touching power points/game consoles/hot stoves/not hand holding in town when we are near a road. I would rather him associate a sting on the hand/bum with danger than get fried/burnt/run over, which is obviously a far worse outcome than a sting that lasts a couple of seconds.

 

[JASMAK]

JackiePed- I just read through this entire thread and I'd just like to reiterate how wonderfully you conveyed your opinions. I really don't know you at all but you seem very intelligent and level headed. I'm not really sure if I am gonna "smack" or whatever...the closest I've ever gone to "hitting" is grabbing my sons arms tightly when he was pulling my hair and laughing hysterically at the same time.

JASMAK...I'd like to say that I feel like you are creating argument out of nothing. I feel like you are being an instigator. Many of your comments were basically blatantly offensive and then you don't want to hear what anyone else has to say unless they agree with you. I am pretty unbiased on this topic too!
Just remember JASMAK, opinions are like anuses, everybody has one!

i don't have a problem with peoples opinions - at all!!! i don't mention peoples names and pick people out tho...that's where it starts to get personal, and that's where I take offense. For some reason, my name is being picked out on this thread. You are saying waht I am saying too! Everyone has an opinion...mine is X, almost everyone else's seems to be Y, and Y likes to point out the X is JASMAK..and the only time I ever got offensive, I apoligized for, when someone else (again not mentioning names) decided to write out the comment I immediately deleted after re-reading it and realizing since it was offensive. Since then, I have been defending myself as Y decides to argue every point of how I say things...it isn't polictically correct how I say "hit" or "smack" Y wants the term 'prettied up' so it sounds less harsh. I don't know how people want me to 'say' they hit their kids for discipline...my stance all along has been the same...it's abuse, and here in Canada, the law agrees for under 2 year olds. That's all I have said all along. Nothing else, nothing to argue about. But, yes, I do feel attacked when people start pointing out my name in their threads...JASMAK this JASMAK that. Keep it general, or perhaps disagree with a point, but you don't need to say my name...JASMAK you are causing an arguement. I am not. I am saying an opinion. Like you said...you have an asshole too.

 

[britishsaffy]

JackiePed- I just read through this entire thread and I'd just like to reiterate how wonderfully you conveyed your opinions. I really don't know you at all but you seem very intelligent and level headed. I'm not really sure if I am gonna "smack" or whatever...the closest I've ever gone to "hitting" is grabbing my sons arms tightly when he was pulling my hair and laughing hysterically at the same time.

JASMAK...I'd like to say that I feel like you are creating argument out of nothing. I feel like you are being an instigator. Many of your comments were basically blatantly offensive and then you don't want to hear what anyone else has to say unless they agree with you. I am pretty unbiased on this topic too!
Just remember JASMAK, opinions are like anuses, everybody has one!

i don't have a problem with peoples opinions - at all!!! i don't mention peoples names and pick people out tho...that's where it starts to get personal, and that's where I take offense. For some reason, my name is being picked out on this thread. You are saying waht I am saying too! Everyone has an opinion...mine is X, almost everyone else's seems to be Y, and Y likes to point out the X is JASMAK..and the only time I ever got offensive, I apoligized for, when someone else (again not mentioning names) decided to write out the comment I immediately deleted after re-reading it and realizing since it was offensive. Since then, I have been defending myself as Y decides to argue every point of how I say things...it isn't polictically correct how I say "hit" or "smack" Y wants the term 'prettied up' so it sounds less harsh. I don't know how people want me to 'say' they hit their kids for discipline...my stance all along has been the same...it's abuse, and here in Canada, the law agrees for under 2 year olds. That's all I have said all along. Nothing else, nothing to argue about. But, yes, I do feel attacked when people start pointing out my name in their threads...JASMAK this JASMAK that. Keep it general, or perhaps disagree with a point, but you don't need to say my name...JASMAK you are causing an arguement. I am not. I am saying an opinion. Like you said...you have an asshole too.

I'm fairly sure that response wasn't meant to be funny - BUT I found the bold portion bloody hilarious!!!!!
I still completely disagree with you on this subject Jasmak, however, I have read your stance on some of the other 'drama' issues here on BnB and have agreed with you (circumcision being the big one) so, it's not that I am being personal against you in general, I only disgree on this particular subject.
I do think that you, and yes you personally, have a tendency to write it out before you think it out sometimes, and it can come off offensive. Believe me, i've done if before on other threads where i've typed something out and only re-reading it before posting has stopped me from offending a whole bunch of people!

 

[Dragonfly]

it's abuse, and here in Canada, the law agrees for under 2 year olds.


But does that mean people do it over 2 and its not abuse? dont like that either.

 

[bumpy_j]

I dont think a light smack on the hand or even the bum is that bad as a last resort, I think parents smack too often too hard and when they're too angry all the time but I'd never say ill never smack. I will try every avenue beforehand but I may well have to do it one day. By light I mean not to hurt but to shock, shouting can be just as or more detrimental and I hope that all my discipline is firm when needed yet I do not want my child to ever fear me. It's all about temper control really...

 

[x__amour]

Never.

 

[AppleBlossom]

I've smacked Grace before. I've not read through this thread because it's no doubt just a bunch of you making out like a parent that has ever smacked their child is some kind of monster that needs locking up. I have only ever done it as a last resort as she very rarely responds to any kind of discipline. I'm not ashamed of it, she's not traumitised by it. The difference between smacking and abuse is that smacking for discipline is something parents don't like doing, abuse is when a parent hits/smacks because they want to. Call me what you will

 

[Meredith2010]

I haven't read this whole thread due to the sheer length of it.

To be honest I don't really have any strong feelings for either side of the argument. Obviously I am against child abuse and causing extreme pain or anything like that, but equally I don't see spanking or however you describe light occasional physical correction as child abuse. But Nat is only 6 months old so I haven't been put in the situation where I've ever had to make that choice or even consider it as an option, so I don't really know how I'd feel about it if I did have to decide.

I don't normally like the argument of "....so and so happened to someone I know and they don't seem harmed by it", but to be honest with this subject all I can go on is my own experience. My parents are the least aggressive people you could meet, but both my brother and I were occasionally spanked as children. It was never done out of anger or in haste - it was always done calmly and as a punishment for extremely bad behaviour (my brother using the F word on one occasion springs to mind). We were always given a warning that if we carried on doing xyz, that we would get spanked. And when the spanking happened, it was always explained that the reason we were being spanked was because we didn't listen to the warning etc etc etc and that that kind of behaviour wouldn't be tolerated.

I can honestly say that in my personal experience, limited spanking has caused absolutely no issues whatsoever and looking back I can totally see why they did it and to be honest agree that what we did on those occasions deserved spanks! But then, most people I know my age were spanked on occasion as children, it really wasn't/isn't a big deal then and it isn't a big deal now. It's what we all grew up with and were used to. It's not like we were randomly and violently hit by out of control parents - if we didn't want to be spanked then we didn't do the things we knew would lead to spankings, simple!

Obviously I would like to think that I will never had any reason to spank my child (he will be so perfectly behaved of course that I will never need to ) but I can't say for certain that I never would because if I am perfectly honest I don't necessarily disagree with it.

 

[JackiePed]

Well said. Best I've seen so far on this thread for that particular side.

 

[KaceysMummy]

I don't think its right.
There is better ways of disipline than smacking...
I was smacked as a child, it didn't affect me, I knew my boundries.
But it is definatley not something I'd want to enforce with my child, I don't think it is or ever will be needed. x

 

[ellie]

Some parents may have found a reasonable way to do it, fine if it works and they truly believe that it will cause no harm in their particular family and that their child understands fully what is going on. And sometimes there may be specific behavioural difficulties that may need it as a last resort. But generally speaking, no, I don't believe that physical discipline of any kind is acceptable in raising a child.

 

[EllaAndLyla]

This subject scares me. As a kid, both OH and I, were smacked as a form of dicipline. For me, it has not only put me off smacking my children but whenever I see it in public or even hear of it I feel all shaky and sick inside. My OH on the otherhand thinks that smacking children is the 'only' way of getting them to learn. Me and him are two cases that prove it DOESN'T help, for me I was a generally good kid, got smacked when I did barely anything wrong as I grew up and got to old to be punished I started acting out, bunking off school, taking drugs, drinking alcohol from a young age and smoking. OH too was a good kid and got smacked because of little things, just winding his mum up etc, as he grew up he rebelled too, bunking off and eventually being expelled from school, he had a hard drug addiction, spent months in prison, got arrested many times, got into fights, became a borderline alcoholic etc. IMO being smacked never helped us! We were bright, clever, good kids and as soon as we were able to rebel without fear of being smacked we did!

I have laid down rules with OH that there will be NO smacking in my house. I will use other techniques such as the naughty step/time out, taking away favourite toys until they have proven that they are being good and are truly sorry etc.

Smacking IMO is just abuse that people can get away with. If I walked up to someone that was kind of annoying me in the streets and smacked them I would probably be arrested! I don't understand how it is different for children, its violence and children shouldn't be taught it even if the parent thinks its 'teaching them a lesson'

Rant over.

 

[Eve]

https://i784.photobucket.com/albums/yy124/baby_maybe_825/317657_196139203800461_126002307480818_433535_1580393630_n.jpg

 

[Eve]

Sorry if it was posted before. I seen it on a lovely fb page and well... It speaks truth

 

[krissy1984]

I was smacked as a child and it did no harm. My parents didn't twist my arm back like that whilst doing so either as thats been set up to make it look as awful as it could be.

If smacking isn't for you fair enough but some parents do use it and that is their choice. I can't say I'll never use it on my son, but I will try other methods of discipline first.

 

[Rhi_Rhi1]

WOW ... how over the top is that picture. This is one of those threads tho were anyone who has an opinion that isn't the "popular" opinion, will be torn to shreds in seconds... and then will look like some kind of child abuser that needs to be locked up, how could anyone expect someone with a different opinion to theirs, to come in and post after words like "abuse" have been thrown around... people need to learn to phrase their opinion in a way so that it doesn't freeze other people out..... x

 

[bumpy_j]

Yeah when you hit your kid, punch, kick, slap across the face whatever that DOES constitute as domestic violence. If my OH smacked my hand because I was about to touch a hot iron I wouldn't call it abuse either.

I think this is getting a little out of perspective, abuse is a very powerful word and you really need to use it with caution.

 

[Dragonfly]

The argument about hitting a child who is going to do something dangerous dosnt wash with me. I never had to hit mine for him to know now irons are hot and dangerous and cookers he tells me they are dangerous and knows if I slapped him for it he may well want to defy me and touch it more. hot irons need to be kept away till children are old enough to know dangers. Child proofing your house is more effective at keeping your child safe.

 

[indy and lara]

The more time goes on the more I feel that people really don't need to justify their choices. I was smacked as was DH and neither of us have any negative effects from it. Surely this is always how it is- some things affect some people but not all. I agree though that the picture above is designed to be as inflammatory as possible- that is not representative of most smacking. I don't intend to smack Emma but can I say I never will? Probably not.

 

[Gen79]

I hate when people say "I was parented in this way and it didn't hurt me". How do you know? Are you perfect?