Is it right to smack a child?

[Dragonfly]

Thats all most people do, they wont understand at that age but will eventually. Sometimes I sit and explain how something is dangerous now that they are older. With William he tells people to how dangerous something is. sometimes people do a slap to shock and it takes away the lesson that was to be learned. child is concerned more about slap than what was happening at the time.

 

[angelandbump]

Thats all most people do, they wont understand at that age but will eventually. Sometimes I sit and explain how something is dangerous now that they are older. With William he tells people to how dangerous something is. sometimes people do a slap to shock and it takes away the lesson that was to be learned. child is concerned more about slap than what was happening at the time.

Fair point...

 

[nosocks]

If a tap doesn't cause pain, shock or fear.... Why does a child suddenly pay attention to it? What makes a tap work when other things don't?
I didnt imply any child would be u happy.... But I just wonder what that child feels like inside when it happens.

 

[nosocks]

If a tap doesn't cause pain, shock or fear.... Why does a child suddenly pay attention to it? What makes a tap work when other things don't?
I didnt say any child would be unhappy all the time.... But I just wonder what that child feels like inside when it happens.

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

No I don't really like the idea of smacking a child. With Aidan I use positive reinforcment, time out, choices and consequences i.e. " Aidan we are going out now can you turn the tv off please and get your coat on" If he refuses I give him a choice i.e " You can either turn the tv off and put your coat on and then you can have it on for a little while late OR you can CHOOSE to ignore what I have asked, I will turn the TV off and you won't have it on for the rest of the day.

The way I see it is it isn't acceptable for an adult to smack an adult or a child to smack an dult for that matter. So why is it acceptable for an adult to smack a child? In the grown up worl smacking another person is called assualt but smaking a child is called discipline? It just doesn't sit right for me but then I understand parents have different parenting methods etc x

 

[Tiff]

I just meant teaching the real danger of the socket, sometimes when kids get scolded to much and not learn the dangers they do not understand why and sometimes can be defiant and touch them again or when you arnt around to smack.

That seems like a broad, sweeping statement if I'm honest. I do get what you are saying, but that seems more the exception - not the rule - if that makes any sense. Like scaremongering or fearmongering. "If you do this, your child will be come defiant and repeatedly do this!!!"

Which could happen, but again that's not overly common. I've yet to see a child who has been disciplined (tapped hand or other methods) do that.

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

Agree with Tiff I was smacked as a child well tapped and I always knew why it was being done and the danger etc was explained aswell. Like I said I won't smack my boys but as a child I did know why it was being done etc x

 

[Dragonfly]

I just meant teaching the real danger of the socket, sometimes when kids get scolded to much and not learn the dangers they do not understand why and sometimes can be defiant and touch them again or when you arnt around to smack.

That seems like a broad, sweeping statement if I'm honest. I do get what you are saying, but that seems more the exception - not the rule - if that makes any sense. Like scaremongering or fearmongering. "If you do this, your child will be come defiant and repeatedly do this!!!"

Which could happen, but again that's not overly common. I've yet to see a child who has been disciplined (tapped hand or other methods) do that.

I didnt mean that applies to every child but can happen. I should have said that in what I said as it would seem like a sweeping statement applying to all. But not. It just can happen. All children are different it depends on your childs personality. Like some kids are more aggressive from being hit and some arnt.

 

[Tiff]

Absolutely!! It definitely can happen for sure.

 

[WantingABubba]

I see no difference between smacking a child (gently not talking about massive whacks here) and shouting loudly at a child

Both are shock tactics, used usually in moments of extremity like a child trying to run across a road without looking or trying to grab something electrical

I think the only massive difference is that people who dont smack big themselves up a lot, rather than accepting that actually ANY out of control reaction to a child is not really on (though sometimes understandable) when actually, if you scream at a child your creating exactly the same shock emotions as if you smacked them

I don't believe in either. Shouting and screaming has just as much of a negative effect, and equally shows lack of control to the child. Only in rare circumstances do I think a shout is necessary.

 

[Lightworker]

Agree with Feeble - a shout is the same as a smack

 

[lhancock90]

I was only ever smacked once, by my Mom who had brought me a cd and i threw a tantrum saying it was the wrong one, i can honestly say i deserved it.
I'm not sure where i stand with Evelyn, a tap to keep her away from the oven fine, a smack is too far and used to often becomes pointless. But as others have said, if you have to resort to a smack to make your point, doesn't your point become mute?
I always think of Matilda, she saw her Dad punish her and though that made it okay to punish him back, which really, i suppose it did.

 

[Lightworker]

loove Matilda..

 

[Ceejay123]

No, I wouldn't smack my child and if anybody did.. I'd have something serious to say. Each to their own, but my opinion...

You pat your child on the wrist... They stop being bothered. You pat them harder.. They stop being bothered. At what point are you fully smacking them? There is better discipline than violence. Teaches the wrong things. x

 

[meli1981]

i see nothing wrong with a little smack on the butt! i do disagree however that a scream is the same as a smack. hitting your child full on is very different than raising your voice to them

 

[fidgets mammy]

no i wouldnt, have not and will not smack my son or twins. i wouldnt smack an adult so theres no way id smack my children knowingly hurting them.

i want my children to respect me not be scared of me.

 

[lovie]

I wont be smacking my child because it is illegal in sweden, however i was smacked as a child and it really didnt have negative effects on me, i was much more afraid when my mum screamed at me or cried.

if you smack a child here you will go to prison (if you are reported) even if you are not swedish, there was an italian dad who smacked his child in public and he went to prison for a couple of weeks.

my family come skiing in sweden every febuary, my sister was 8 last year and being very very naughty, my mum smacked her in the ski slope car park im so glad she wasnt reported that would have been a sad end to a holiday! my sister was wearing ski trousers and a ski jacket with a jumper and thermal underwear so there is no way the smack could have hurt her.

smacking has been illegal here since at least before my oh was born and he is 35, here if you say you have been smacked as a child people say oh i am so so sorry to here that, the same way that if you say you had been abused or neglected people would say they were sorry to here that... i say oh no i was very naughty! i deserved the smacks i got!

 

[meli1981]

its a little ridiculous to be sent to jail for giving your kid a smack on the bum!

 

[Dragonfly]

its a little ridiculous to be sent to jail for giving your kid a smack on the bum!

Is it ridiculous to be charged if a man hits his wife a smack?

 

[nosocks]

It really baffles me to think smacking a child is ok when clearly no-one agrees it's ok to smack a partner.
Smacking only works because it instills fear- I wouldn't want my child to fear me. Shouting works the same way- scar in those on the receiving end. I want to teach my child right from wrong, not teach them fear, anger and violence is normal!