Is it right to smack a child?

[JASMAK]

I wont be smacking my child because it is illegal in sweden, however i was smacked as a child and it really didnt have negative effects on me, i was much more afraid when my mum screamed at me or cried.

if you smack a child here you will go to prison (if you are reported) even if you are not swedish, there was an italian dad who smacked his child in public and he went to prison for a couple of weeks.

my family come skiing in sweden every febuary, my sister was 8 last year and being very very naughty, my mum smacked her in the ski slope car park im so glad she wasnt reported that would have been a sad end to a holiday! my sister was wearing ski trousers and a ski jacket with a jumper and thermal underwear so there is no way the smack could have hurt her.

smacking has been illegal here since at least before my oh was born and he is 35, here if you say you have been smacked as a child people say oh i am so so sorry to here that, the same way that if you say you had been abused or neglected people would say they were sorry to here that... i say oh no i was very naughty! i deserved the smacks i got!

What a great law! It is illegal before age two, and after a certain age...teen years...can't remember. I would be for a law against it. In my opinion, there should be no right to physically harm another person.

 

[Rhi_Rhi1]

omg the world has gone mad.

 

[lovie]

I dont think its good for the child to have a parent in prisson tho..

they also tell immigrants that they cant smack their children or they will go to prisson but they dont give them any parenting classes to teach them how to do any different.

 

[meli1981]

if we make it illegal to give your child a smack than whats next? is it illegal to raise your voice to your child? i have a VERY challenging six year old, and yes i yell at her sometimes. she tries my patience, and pushes my buttons, and it irritates me. im not perfect, and ide really like to see a person NOT get annoyed by her actions sometimes! im just human and yes ive given her a swat on the butt when she acts up. she is like my bestfriend and doesnt fear me at all.

 

[meli1981]

its a little ridiculous to be sent to jail for giving your kid a smack on the bum!

Is it ridiculous to be charged if a man hits his wife a smack?

not the same thing, were talking about a smack on the bum, not a husband beating his wife! a smack on the bum, is also different than a smack across the face.

 

[Tasha]

not the same thing, were talking about a smack on the bum, not a husband beating his wife! a smack on the bum, is also different than a smack across the face. im sure if your husband spanked you on the butt, and you called the cops, theyde laugh at you!

I would hope not. Assault is assult, no matter where he hits you. If my husband hit me any where, be that face or butt then I would call the police and I expect they would at the least give him a warning, or even arrest and charge him. TBH I cant see police laughing at someone hitting someone else.

ETA - If I went to the police station and said that my husband has hit my butt cos he didnt like what I was doing, do you really believe they would laugh?

 

[nosocks]

I'm sure children won't differentiate where a smack is administered- I think they'd say it's not nice wherever it's done- face, bum, legs, arm! I've seen Childrens faces after they've been smacked- they shows fear! why do people think smacking works?? Because its hurts or scares them and they become frightened It will happen again. It in no way ever creates a respectful relationship. I wouldn't respect anyone who smacked me! There's no logic in it at all.
And as for sending parents to prison- well if it's illegal and they can't live within the law then what else do they think is going to happen?
I wouldn't smack my dog let alone my child.
I know what challenging children are like- I've had dozens of them in my class- and I haven't smacked or even shouted at them- I'd be hauled right out of the school. There are SO many other ways to deal with behaviour than smacking.

 

[Dragonfly]

its a little ridiculous to be sent to jail for giving your kid a smack on the bum!

Is it ridiculous to be charged if a man hits his wife a smack?

not the same thing, were talking about a smack on the bum, not a husband beating his wife! a smack on the bum, is also different than a smack across the face. im sure if your husband spanked you on the butt, and you called the cops, theyde laugh at you!

Joking about domestic violence. Classy.

Its not nice to hit people. Children are people.

 

[meli1981]

thank you youve made me feel soooo good about myself! this is a debate right? just stating my opinion, and i get my character attacked, now whos classy? fyi, im a GREAT mother and nobody can tell me otherwise. my daughter tells me daily

 

[Tasha]

thank you youve made me feel soooo good about myself! this is a debate right? just stating my opinion, and i get my character attacked, now whos classy? fyi, im a GREAT mother and nobody can tell me otherwise. my daughter tells me daily

No one is saying that you are not a great mother. But what you said was offensive to women who have been hit by their partner. To suggest police would laugh at them if they turned up their after being hit on the butt is wrong.

 

[meli1981]

yes but were not talking about domestic violence, which i DO take seriously, were talking about giving your child a smack on the butt. the comment about a husband smacking his wife on the butt was in responce to someone compairing the two, which IN MY OPINION doesnt compare. a parent spanking their child is different TO ME, than a husband beating their wife.

 

[Tasha]

yes but were not talking about domestic violence, which i DO take seriously, were talking about giving your child a smack on the butt. the comment about a husband smacking his wife on the butt was in responce to someone compairing the two, which IN MY OPINION doesnt compare. a parent spanking their child is different TO ME, than a husband beating their wife.

I understand it is different to you, but regardless of what you think to suggest a woman who has been hit would be laughed at by the police is not right IMO.

I guess what people are getting at is the only difference is their age, like you wouldnt hit an elderly parent cos of the way they were acting, and say well they were misbehaving, its okay cos they are my relative and they are of a certain age.

I am not saying the above is my opinion (not saying it isnt either), just trying to say what people are suggesting by the husband/wife thing is that it doesnt matter how you are related nor the age of the person, hitting/smacking/spanking is the same, so if you wouldnt do it to your husbans/wife/parents/grandparent/friend/other adult/someone else's child, then why is it acceptable to do it to your child?

 

[meli1981]

because they are MY children and i will discipline how i feel is right. there are no laws here about no spanking so im not breaking any laws. this is not to say i slap my kids around in fact i dont even remember the last time i gave a spank, i think its been years. and then it was a little swat on a diapered bum. my daughter is now almost seven. my lo is 16 months and ive never spanked her. i just dont like the conotation that if youve given a swat to you kids thats youre beating them, thats not right. also i apologise if my previous comment offended i was just trying to keep things light.

 

[Tasha]

I guess I just see it differently. He is MY husband, they are MY parents, MY grandparents, MY siblings, but I still would NEVER swat/spank/smack them, so I wouldnt do it to my children either.

 

[fidgets mammy]

not all children who get smacked get smacked on the bum, some get smacked across the legs, arms and even head.

is it still ok???? or any less worse or more so than hitting yr wife/husband??

where do u draw the line and say it is or isnt acceptable.

 

[Dragonfly]

thank you youve made me feel soooo good about myself! this is a debate right?

I am not sure what way to take that? sarcasm? meaning you feel bad for hitting your child and a man hitting his partner or any one else hitting any one else is different or that you actually feel good about what you do to your child?

does your child not deserve the respect everyone else does? the same treatment as you treat your own mum, grandmother, father, sister, friend and neighbour? All these people are not acceptable to hit. The law dosnt state you cant hit children but if you hit an adult you can get taken to court for it. Of is it that your child cannot speak to defend their selves. What if they hit you back? is that ok? when smacking dosnt work as it dosnt by the way will you escalate your smack more? is there no other way you can think of to educated your child in whats right and wrong than to use violence? And please dont say a smack is not violence it is.

 

[lovie]

its not right imo to compare smacking to domestic abuse between partners, i'd like to say that smacking a child because you as an parent can't cope with your anger and you "need" to lash out to express your own anger is very different than smacking a child as part of a pre-thought out discipline method.

mostly parents smack their child because they want them to be safe, so a smack for running into the road is very different than a husband smacking a wife because she hasnt done the washing up/wore a short skirt/he's drunk and needs a punch bag.

smacking did work for me when i was a child dragonfly, my mum had a parenting methid that let us children have a massive amount of say in what we did, I had an amazing and free childhood but occasionally she needed to communicate that something was dangerous and she would smack me rather than get into a discussion that would possibly allow me to continue unsafe behaviour whilst i talked about it.

I think I will be a stricter parent than my mum, as i have said smacking is not an option in sweden so i will use different methods. If i lived in the UK i am undecided, I dont think i would be able to smack my child but i dont think if i did it would dammage them or it would be on a par as domestic abuse.

It sounds like everyone that has added to this debate are lovely caring mothers and are doing exactly what they think is right, your kids are really lucky to have parents that care so much.

 

[meli1981]

its not right imo to compare smacking to domestic abuse between partners, i'd like to say that smacking a child because you as an parent can't cope with your anger and you "need" to lash out to express your own anger is very different than smacking a child as part of a pre-thought out discipline method.

mostly parents smack their child because they want them to be safe, so a smack for running into the road is very different than a husband smacking a wife because she hasnt done the washing up/wore a short skirt/he's drunk and needs a punch bag.

smacking did work for me when i was a child dragonfly, my mum had a parenting methid that let us children have a massive amount of say in what we did, I had an amazing and free childhood but occasionally she needed to communicate that something was dangerous and she would smack me rather than get into a discussion that would possibly allow me to continue unsafe behaviour whilst i talked about it.

I think I will be a stricter parent than my mum, as i have said smacking is not an option in sweden so i will use different methods. If i lived in the UK i am undecided, I dont think i would be able to smack my child but i dont think if i did it would dammage them or it would be on a par as domestic abuse.

It sounds like everyone that has added to this debate are lovely caring mothers and are doing exactly what they think is right, your kids are really lucky to have parents that care so much.

thank you for this, as some of these moms are making me feel like a monster i only would spank as a last resort, and like i said, which has been overlooked, i havent done it in years.

 

[meli1981]

thank you youve made me feel soooo good about myself! this is a debate right?

I am not sure what way to take that? sarcasm? meaning you feel bad for hitting your child and a man hitting his partner or any one else hitting any one else is different or that you actually feel good about what you do to your child?

does your child not deserve the respect everyone else does? the same treatment as you treat your own mum, grandmother, father, sister, friend and neighbour? All these people are not acceptable to hit. The law dosnt state you cant hit children but if you hit an adult you can get taken to court for it. Of is it that your child cannot speak to defend their selves. What if they hit you back? is that ok? when smacking dosnt work as it dosnt by the way will you escalate your smack more? is there no other way you can think of to educated your child in whats right and wrong than to use violence? And please dont say a smack is not violence it is.

it is crossing a line when you say i enjoy hitting my children. please do not say that again. if it needs to be said i dont spank my relatives because im not their mother, and are responsible for their safety and how they turn out as adults. my children are my FIRST priority and the fact that i have to sit here and justify how much i love them and that i woyld DIE for them, is just plain ridiculous. think before you type, as we all have different parenting styles and you dont see me saying that you dont love your children for one of thoses decisions, so why is it ok for you to do it to me? this is just wrong

 

[Tasha]

it is crossing a line when you say i enjoy hitting my children. please do not say that again. if it needs to be said i dont spank my relatives because im not their mother, and are responsible for their safety and how they turn out as adults. my children are my FIRST priority and the fact that i have to sit here and justify how much i love them and that i woyld DIE for them, is just plain ridiculous. think before you type, as we all have different parenting styles and you dont see me saying that you dont love your children for one of thoses decisions, so why is it ok for you to do it to me? this is just wrong

I must of missed where Dragonfly saif you dont love your child? Or that you enjoy spanking them? It isnt fair to put words into her mouth if she hasnt actually typed those exact words. I cant even see an insinuation of you not loving your child or enjoying smacking/s[anking them.

Lovie I understand what you are saying but if we compare like for like, then would people smack/spank/swat their partner for walking out in a road? The answer is most likely no, you would drag them back if they were in danger, why not the same for a child?