Is it right to smack a child?

[alaskagrown]

It's not a double standard; your child is not theirs; therefore they only have limited disciplinary authority over your child.

Well I agree that they should only have limited disciplinary authority over your child but children aren't 'yours' to do whatever you like with. They aren't possessions, they are people. I don't believe anyone should be allowed to raise a hand to a child be it their own or anyone else's.

They're not my "possessions," but they're my children and will disciplined as I see fit.

 

[JASMAK]

It's funny, because on this forum, everyone is allowed to have an opinion, but people get so angry that some see ANY form of hitting, spanking, tapping as abuse. That is how they feel, and that is their opinion. People get so choked that others may not agree with spanking/hitting and are nit-picking about how it's described. It's really annoying, because to some ANY..spanking, hitting, tapping, whatever you want to call it...is abuse in the eyes of some. If you are comfortable with your parenting....great! Fabulous. But, those who don't agree with that form of 'discipline' are allowed to voice our opinions too. Whether you like it or not...there is many people who think it's abuse. It's not being rude, it's not being condescending...it's called having an opinion on the matter. Some may say the same about piercing ears, and circumcision too! At the end of the day...there are those agree that it's fine, there are those that agree it's abuse, and then there is probably those somewhere in the middle. We will all probably never see eye to eye on it...or even understand people's reasoning...so, we just have to choose to disagree. I have heard some disrespectful things written here on both sides... just sayin.

 

[JackiePed]

I don't really get this... if anything you say, no matter how much it 'feels' like an attack, is ok because it's 'just your opinion'... then surely people who respond to you and tell you they don't agree with what you said or how you said it are 'just sharing their opinion', too.

You have no problem saying black-and-white, controversial things. Which is fine. That's your style. But don't complain about backlash... if you can defend what you say as 'just your opinion'... then anything you get in response is pretty much their opinion too. Nobody has said anything violent to you, called you names, cried that they're going to report you, or whatever else could be classified as a genuine attack. They've simply said they don't like or agree with what you've said.
You expected that anyway, right...? So... it's all just opinions on an 'open forum'.

 

[smokey]

As iv said before oppinions and politness can go hand in hand, you dont have to give up one to voice the other.

 

[ShanandBoc]

Jackieped, OT but is your baby going to be named Thor??

 

[louandivy]

I don't really get this... if anything you say, no matter how much it 'feels' like an attack, is ok because it's 'just your opinion'... then surely people who respond to you and tell you they don't agree with what you said or how you said it are 'just sharing their opinion', too.

You have no problem saying black-and-white, controversial things. Which is fine. That's your style. But don't complain about backlash... if you can defend what you say as 'just your opinion'... then anything you get in response is pretty much their opinion too. Nobody has said anything violent to you, called you names, cried that they're going to report you, or whatever else could be classified as a genuine attack. They've simply said they don't like or agree with what you've said.
You expected that anyway, right...? So... it's all just opinions on an 'open forum'.

Ahhhhhh this is exactly what I always think! The 'its my opinion' retort is so annoying and doesn't make any sense at all to me.

Oh, and I don't agree with spanking. I don't think its child abuse, but I think that it doesn't work for the right reasons.

 

[ShanandBoc]

^ and that is how u respectfully share ur opinion!

 

[JackiePed]

Jackieped, OT but is your baby going to be named Thor??

Ahhhhh, yes.... Thor Alexander Pedersen.
I made a gutsy deal/gamble with DH. He got boy name, I got girl name... No vetoes allowed. We were supposed to be team yellow, which made it even more fun... But baby was a big ol' flasher and our scan tech wasn't so subtle. I was bummed that the susPense of our 'game' ended early!
So... DH gets full reign on the name. And he loves Thor. LOVES it.
It's not my favorite, but by now we've been referring to him as Thor for so long that it's just... His name!

 

[ShanandBoc]

Ahh was wondering cause my DH loves that name too! Its a nice unique, strong name!

 

[JASMAK]

good grief! Now that is 'wrong' too! Seriously, I don't think any of you are happy with anything unless it is exactly what you think or from someone in your clique.

 

[JASMAK]

As iv said before oppinions and politness can go hand in hand, you dont have to give up one to voice the other.

and I don't think my above post was rude at all.

 

[JASMAK]

I don't really get this... if anything you say, no matter how much it 'feels' like an attack, is ok because it's 'just your opinion'... then surely people who respond to you and tell you they don't agree with what you said or how you said it are 'just sharing their opinion', too.

You have no problem saying black-and-white, controversial things. Which is fine. That's your style. But don't complain about backlash... if you can defend what you say as 'just your opinion'... then anything you get in response is pretty much their opinion too. Nobody has said anything violent to you, called you names, cried that they're going to report you, or whatever else could be classified as a genuine attack. They've simply said they don't like or agree with what you've said.
You expected that anyway, right...? So... it's all just opinions on an 'open forum'.

I'm assuming you are replying to my above post...but I don't get it...how is it an 'attack'? That may be how you feel when you read it, but it doesn't mean it was intended, and there is a difference. I can't make you feel anything.

 

[JackiePed]

No... I meant if your posts that state your opinion...even if they go so far as to say things like, "I feel bad for your kids..."... are ok for you to say, just because they are your opinion, then surely those who come back with "I don't like what you've said.." or "That offends me..." or when people defend against or argue with that 'opinion' of yours--well, they're just sharing their opinion, too.
But you got all worked up as if somehow, you should be allowed to 'share your opinion' and never get backlash for it.
Come on, Jasmak... you can't tell me you're surprised when people get riled up. You know it's coming, you're willing to take it on for the sake of sharing your honest thoughts, and like I said... that's fine. It's your style. But why get so upset that people don't like it?
Just like you have the 'right to your opinion', other people have the 'right to disagree with or be offended by' your opinion. You don't want to censor or be PC... so you've got to be able to handle what's coming.

 

[JackiePed]

good grief! Now that is 'wrong' too! Seriously, I don't think any of you are happy with anything unless it is exactly what you think or from someone in your clique.

Huh? Now what are you supposed to have done wrong?

...and... cliques...? I don't know anyone involved in this conversation outside of my interaction with them in this conversation.

 

[britishsaffy]

Wow, I haven't checked this thread in a while and look what i missed

JackiePed - I mean this in all seriousness, I hope one day I can put across my opinions as eloquently as you do!

 

[JackiePed]

Thanks...seriously. Now if only I could the same could be said for the words that come out of my mouth irl...

 

[JASMAK]

No... I meant if your posts that state your opinion...even if they go so far as to say things like, "I feel bad for your kids..."... are ok for you to say, just because they are your opinion, then surely those who come back with "I don't like what you've said.." or "That offends me..." or when people defend against or argue with that 'opinion' of yours--well, they're just sharing their opinion, too.
But you got all worked up as if somehow, you should be allowed to 'share your opinion' and never get backlash for it.
Come on, Jasmak... you can't tell me you're surprised when people get riled up. You know it's coming, you're willing to take it on for the sake of sharing your honest thoughts, and like I said... that's fine. It's your style. But why get so upset that people don't like it?
Just like you have the 'right to your opinion', other people have the 'right to disagree with or be offended by' your opinion. You don't want to censor or be PC... so you've got to be able to handle what's coming.

Wow..that's offensive. I am surprised when people get riled up. We already discussed way back the way I mis-spoke about the proper term to use for hitting children. Want to censor?? Censor what? I am not swearing? That's my style? To what? What does that mean? I am not fake, maybe...I don't sugar coat things for points. But, I am human, I type fast, often while breastfeeding...and things sometimes don't come out the way I think in my head...but if you are implying that I purposely post to rile people up or piss people off...you coudn't be further from the truth. I just feel like when I don't agree and think it's abusive...people take that as a personal threat..it's not. It's an opinion. That's all I was ever trying to say! And I DO feel sorry for any kid that gets hit...I do! SOrry if that offends you! I am not here stating my opinion on this thread for hugs...I am stating my opinion because it is a debate!!! Not to personally attack or stir the pot. What's coming??? I don't understand what you meant there?

 

[britishsaffy]

Thanks...seriously. Now if only I could the same could be said for the words that come out of my mouth irl...

I'm not always known for my tact either. IRL I spend far less time thinking about things before they come out my mouth than I do typing them on here! lol

 

[JackiePed]

Jasmak, easy... I didn't mean to say you rile people up on purpose.

Nor did I mean you should be censored.

You have made it clear that you will say what you want to say, and that you will not 'sugarcoat' it as you mentioned. Which is fine. You have said that's the way you want to state your opinions.

But I meant you can't really be surprised by the fact that if you state harsh opinions without considering how they come across, that they are in fact going to come across to others as offensive. You've already said numerous times that you will not apologize for that, nor will you attempt to be 'pc' or to 'sugarcoat' things. Again... fine... but then you're getting upset and acting like you're being attacked for your opinion.
You're acting like a victim, and you're certainly not one.

So no... I don't think you rile people up on purpose, and it's not my place to say where your intentions are. I was simply saying you can't possibly be surprised by the fact that people do, in fact, get offended. Some people put thought into how their statements may come across, and recognize that if they don't take respect for others into account, the significance of their comment will get lost in the upheaval over how they said it. You choose not to.

Simply put: If you can't be bothered to try to state your opinions in a way that keeps the conversation civil, then you really can't complain when your opinions are received in the way that they are. Nobody said you can't do it. Just accept what comes from it.

On the previous example... there's a big difference between saying, "I feel sorry for kids who get hit" and saying, "Well, I feel sorry for your kids, honestly."
One is a generalized statement, one is a personal attack on specific mothers who had the courage to be honest in this discussion.

 

[JackiePed]

Thanks...seriously. Now if only I could the same could be said for the words that come out of my mouth irl...

I'm not always known for my tact either. IRL I spend far less time thinking about things before they come out my mouth than I do typing them on here! lol

I don't know about you, but perhaps I should learn not to speak so fast. then maybe I wouldn't flub so many things.
(I had so many foot-in-mouth situations in college that my roommates had an entire long-sleeved tee screened with various embarrassing 'quotes' of mine that they still laugh at to this day.)