is/was your LO a really bad sleeper? support and advise thread!

[lisa1980]

Congrats to those who had better nights. to those that didn't.

Our night was really good for once! He went down at 8.30pm, woke at 10.30pm when I took him into our bed. Asleep by 11pm with a feed. The he woke at 3.30am for a quick feed, then back to sleep until 6.30am when he was up for the day.

So only 2 feeds and two wake ups between 8.30-6.30 That's the best he's done for AGES (if ever!)

I've no idea why as usual. The day was pretty average. The only thing we did differently was to give him a bottle when he woke at 10.30pm instead of BF (he usually only has a bottle of EBM before bed at 8.30pm ish). I was convinced he couldn't be hungry and would just comfort suck so we tried a bottle instead. He drained 5oz quick as a flash and then slept really well so that just shows what I know

Going to try it again tonight but I'm sure it was just a fluke. His naps have been useless today aswell so all bets are off for tonight i think.

Chocolala - we always said we wanted 3 or 4 children but since the never-ending night-of-no-sleep saga we've decided to play it by ear instead I'd like at least one night of full sleep before we even discuss it further!

Oh and I also don't believe all the stories I hear about perfect babies from other mums. There's so much competitive parenting around that I'm sure a lot of people end up lying or twisting to truth to fit in. To be honest, lots of times when strangers or acquaintences ask me how LO sleeps now I just say "fine", not because I want to mislead, but because I can't be bothered to be subjected to any more well-meaning advice or for it to be blamed on BF, co-sleeping, drinking too much tea blah, blah, blah.

 

[MrsHedgehog]

We're having such a trying day because she's tired, her nap was only about 30 mins long!

She keeps shouting and screaming at the top of her voice, it's so loud it's hurting my ear drums, she's doing it over and over again. Don't know what to do, really loosing my patience.

Trying to get her to sleep again, but she's just fighting it by trying to crawl/roll over while feeding or pulling her hair I hope tesco arrives soon so we can take her for a drive to shut her up!

And to think I was thinking of talking to the husband about the possibility of trying for another one in the new year, think I'll keep my mouth shut today! :dohh:

We always planned to try for another one in the New Year too. I'm really not so sure now though. DH still wants to but I'm not sure I could cope especially if we have another bad sleeper. I always wanted a big family but one is hard enough. I'll end up with a whole brood of kids sleeping in my bed and not having a decent nights sleep for a decade! Part of me thinks we should just go for it and deal with it but part of me thinks we should wait until LO is sleeping better.

 

[Casey3]

Ellebelle- firstly.. Hey neighbour! :wave: secondly, I can't imagine having 2 babies to get and keep asleep! our problem isn't going to sleep, its staying asleep lol but all I do is shower, jammies, dark room, then BF both boobs (usually about an hour to 1.5 hrs) and then he's usually asleep.. The odd time he'll wake as soon as he's in the crib but in the past few wweks that hasn't really been an issue (it was for the longest time though so I'd just BF again and it usually did the trick) If he doesn't need the resettle he's in bed between 9 and 930... I too wonder about those 7-7 people

Tonight sucks. I'm starting to think the cosleeping on the trip might have affected his sleeping habits all I want to do is cave and let him cuddle and nurse all night but our bed is too small and I really don't want to get into that habit...

Its 430 and he's been waking every 1-1.5 hrs tonight. The last waking at 2am had him up for an hour and a half because he had to poop and then wouldn't settle after. Finally got him asleep only to have him wake an hour later I don't mind the odd waking but I know he can't be hungry every hour so it mist be habit now??

I have come to the conclusion with my LO that it's not habit, it's totally random. I've thought so many times that certain things have created habits only to find that everything changes again without me doing anything different.

Thanks I live at home and my moms sees how little he sleeps at night and she keeps telling me its because I've spoiled him by napping with him and bringing him to bed with me around 6 so we can get a few hours or sleep together after a rough night.. She also says its because I don't feed him enough but I really don't think its food related I've kinda just accepted the crappy sleep even though a full night sleep would be amazing but everyone keeps telling me its my fault he's not sleeping! Even a neighbour asked about his sleep yesterday and said he "should be sleeping thru by now! You're not feeding him enough solids in the daytime!"

 

[kosh]

can't believe what just happened
our usual simple bedtime routine is bath/wash and nurse to sleep. sometimes he doesn't fall asleep on the boob so he starts playing and cooing and after a while, when he gets properly tired i rock him to sleep.
so we were in bed, and he was all happy chatty gggghhhaaa, bbrffff, uh-uh etc etc and then all of the sudden he got hold of his blanket, turned onto his tummy and fall asleep, just like that!!!!
just a one off i guess, but still nice.

 

[kosh]

Ellebelle- firstly.. Hey neighbour! :wave: secondly, I can't imagine having 2 babies to get and keep asleep! our problem isn't going to sleep, its staying asleep lol but all I do is shower, jammies, dark room, then BF both boobs (usually about an hour to 1.5 hrs) and then he's usually asleep.. The odd time he'll wake as soon as he's in the crib but in the past few wweks that hasn't really been an issue (it was for the longest time though so I'd just BF again and it usually did the trick) If he doesn't need the resettle he's in bed between 9 and 930... I too wonder about those 7-7 people

Tonight sucks. I'm starting to think the cosleeping on the trip might have affected his sleeping habits all I want to do is cave and let him cuddle and nurse all night but our bed is too small and I really don't want to get into that habit...

Its 430 and he's been waking every 1-1.5 hrs tonight. The last waking at 2am had him up for an hour and a half because he had to poop and then wouldn't settle after. Finally got him asleep only to have him wake an hour later I don't mind the odd waking but I know he can't be hungry every hour so it mist be habit now??

I have come to the conclusion with my LO that it's not habit, it's totally random. I've thought so many times that certain things have created habits only to find that everything changes again without me doing anything different.

Thanks I live at home and my moms sees how little he sleeps at night and she keeps telling me its because I've spoiled him by napping with him and bringing him to bed with me around 6 so we can get a few hours or sleep together after a rough night.. She also says its because I don't feed him enough but I really don't think its food related I've kinda just accepted the crappy sleep even though a full night sleep would be amazing but everyone keeps telling me its my fault he's not sleeping! Even a neighbour asked about his sleep yesterday and said he "should be sleeping thru by now! You're not feeding him enough solids in the daytime!"

i don't thnik it's food related either. true most of our babies are BF, and i do think there's a tendency for BF babies to wake up more,but i don't think that is the cause.i really think it's more personality/temperament related.
yes,prob the should be sleeping through (or at least a bit better!),but they don't, end of!

 

[firefly15]

Ellebelle- firstly.. Hey neighbour! :wave: secondly, I can't imagine having 2 babies to get and keep asleep! our problem isn't going to sleep, its staying asleep lol but all I do is shower, jammies, dark room, then BF both boobs (usually about an hour to 1.5 hrs) and then he's usually asleep.. The odd time he'll wake as soon as he's in the crib but in the past few wweks that hasn't really been an issue (it was for the longest time though so I'd just BF again and it usually did the trick) If he doesn't need the resettle he's in bed between 9 and 930... I too wonder about those 7-7 people

Tonight sucks. I'm starting to think the cosleeping on the trip might have affected his sleeping habits all I want to do is cave and let him cuddle and nurse all night but our bed is too small and I really don't want to get into that habit...

Its 430 and he's been waking every 1-1.5 hrs tonight. The last waking at 2am had him up for an hour and a half because he had to poop and then wouldn't settle after. Finally got him asleep only to have him wake an hour later I don't mind the odd waking but I know he can't be hungry every hour so it mist be habit now??

I have come to the conclusion with my LO that it's not habit, it's totally random. I've thought so many times that certain things have created habits only to find that everything changes again without me doing anything different.

Thanks I live at home and my moms sees how little he sleeps at night and she keeps telling me its because I've spoiled him by napping with him and bringing him to bed with me around 6 so we can get a few hours or sleep together after a rough night.. She also says its because I don't feed him enough but I really don't think its food related I've kinda just accepted the crappy sleep even though a full night sleep would be amazing but everyone keeps telling me its my fault he's not sleeping! Even a neighbour asked about his sleep yesterday and said he "should be sleeping thru by now! You're not feeding him enough solids in the daytime!"

I can only base this on my LO, but I'm also sure that it's not food related. To be honest the best nights we've had in recent times have been days when he eats less so that definitely rules out hunger as the main cause! I also don't think you can spoil a baby by co-sleeping. If that was the case then half the planet would be filled with babies who were crappy sleepers as it's such common practice in a lot of places! It is not your fault he isn't sleeping - I HATE it when people say that! If you poked him awake every time he fell asleep then, yep, your fault, but honestly I think some people need their heads read. We just have babies that don't sleep well

 

[lisa1980]

can't believe what just happened
our usual simple bedtime routine is bath/wash and nurse to sleep. sometimes he doesn't fall asleep on the boob so he starts playing and cooing and after a while, when he gets properly tired i rock him to sleep.
so we were in bed, and he was all happy chatty gggghhhaaa, bbrffff, uh-uh etc etc and then all of the sudden he got hold of his blanket, turned onto his tummy and fall asleep, just like that!!!!
just a one off i guess, but still nice.

Wow, that's fab!

Maybe, through the power of this thread, all our babies are going to 'get it' and start self-settling and sttn and we can start a new thread just called 'Woohoo'

OH is attempting to get LO to bed tonight. It's not going that well so far but I'm trying not to intervene as LO is becoming more and more dependent on me and only me to settle him, which upsets OH and creates even more stress for me. I'm itching to go up there and sort it out myself but am trying to restrain myself.

We've been saying that we're going to move LO into his own room for the last week but tomorrow we ARE actually going to do it (it involves dismantling the cot and then putting it back together and we're a bit lazy) so we'll see how that goes.

Good luck for tonight everyone

 

[lisa1980]

I hate the assumption that they only wake due to hunger. My LO has always been on the 91-95th centile and eats LOADS in the day. Weaning made his sleep worse even though his calorie intake must have increased.

If he woke through hunger only then it would be simple - feed, feed, feed. Unfortunately the problem is that he wakes, isn't hungry, and won't go back to sleep. I don't see how more food in the day would help that

 

[AngelUK]

I hate the assumption that they only wake due to hunger. My LO has always been on the 91-95th centile and eats LOADS in the day. Weaning made his sleep worse even though his calorie intake must have increased.

If he woke through hunger only then it would be simple - feed, feed, feed. Unfortunately the problem is that he wakes, isn't hungry, and won't go back to sleep. I don't see how more food in the day would help that

Oh god don't say that ! We had the third sets of jabs today (I know, late) and we talked to the GP about Dom's bad sleeping and he said we should give him porridge along his bed time bottle and that that should help. So we did and though he woke once or twice after he fell asleep he has now been asleep for about 2 hours. So I am praying he will sleep well the whole night. Then again he might only do that cause he has the jabs today who knows.

But I still have a problem with the last nap of the day and I hope you can advise. My boys want to sleep about every 90 minutes but though I would very much love for them to nap for 90 minutes they very rarely do. So when they nap after their 3pm bottle it usually is maybe for 45 minutes to an hour. After that they are up and will not sleep any more but Dom gets cranky the more we approach 6pm. If I let him nap at 6 he will then be wide awake by 7 and not want to go to bed till 9ish. But for me that is too late a bed time for the boys. I selfishly want some time with my OH alone Especially as Dom never just sleeps when you put him to bed but needs resettling every 20 minutes for about 2 hours or so. So what should I do about that last nap??

 

[flippityflop]

Angel, what time do you want them to go to bed? I put LO to bed at 6 from the start of his sleep regress as he was intolerable after that. Slowly bought it later to 7 but he is always knackered by then and it is a struggle. Luckily that's OH's hour with LO

Can you bring the 3pm nap later to 3.30 or 4? All easier said than done. If anyone had said to me 'oh just put him down for a nap a bit later', I'd be 'um how? he's tired now!'.

 

[kosh]

I hate the assumption that they only wake due to hunger. My LO has always been on the 91-95th centile and eats LOADS in the day. Weaning made his sleep worse even though his calorie intake must have increased.

If he woke through hunger only then it would be simple - feed, feed, feed. Unfortunately the problem is that he wakes, isn't hungry, and won't go back to sleep. I don't see how more food in the day would help that

Oh god don't say that ! We had the third sets of jabs today (I know, late) and we talked to the GP about Dom's bad sleeping and he said we should give him porridge along his bed time bottle and that that should help. So we did and though he woke once or twice after he fell asleep he has now been asleep for about 2 hours. So I am praying he will sleep well the whole night. Then again he might only do that cause he has the jabs today who knows.

But I still have a problem with the last nap of the day and I hope you can advise. My boys want to sleep about every 90 minutes but though I would very much love for them to nap for 90 minutes they very rarely do. So when they nap after their 3pm bottle it usually is maybe for 45 minutes to an hour. After that they are up and will not sleep any more but Dom gets cranky the more we approach 6pm. If I let him nap at 6 he will then be wide awake by 7 and not want to go to bed till 9ish. But for me that is too late a bed time for the boys. I selfishly want some time with my OH alone Especially as Dom never just sleeps when you put him to bed but needs resettling every 20 minutes for about 2 hours or so. So what should I do about that last nap??

can you try to make the nap at 3pm a bit later so they don't have to wait too long till bedtime?

 

[kosh]

Angel, what time do you want them to go to bed? I put LO to bed at 6 from the start of his sleep regress as he was intolerable after that. Slowly bought it later to 7 but he is always knackered by then and it is a struggle. Luckily that's OH's hour with LO

Can you bring the 3pm nap later to 3.30 or 4? All easier said than done. If anyone had said to me 'oh just put him down for a nap a bit later', I'd be 'um how? he's tired now!'.

i just suggested this too!

 

[AngelUK]

I suppose I could try though by that time Dom is getting pretty cranky from being up since 1:00pm to 1:30. Our day looks like this:
between 7:00 and 7:30 wake up,
bottle,
nap from 9 to 10,
bottle between 11:00 and 11:30,
nap from ca 12:00 to 12:45 or 1:00,
bottle at 3pm,
nap ca 3:20 to 4:00
bottle 7:00
bed
So you see it is not easy reshuffling them I would like them to go to bed around 7 cause if they go earlier they wake earlier too and I don't think I can get up earlier than 7, considering that I will have had very little sleep.
Last night they both woke every 20 minutes from Midnight to 4 and then hourly till 7. I am dead!

 

[MrsHedgehog]

I suppose I could try though by that time Dom is getting pretty cranky from being up since 1:00pm to 1:30. Our day looks like this:
between 7:00 and 7:30 wake up,
bottle,
nap from 9 to 10,
bottle between 11:00 and 11:30,
nap from ca 12:00 to 12:45 or 1:00,
bottle at 3pm,
nap ca 3:20 to 4:00
bottle 7:00
bed
So you see it is not easy reshuffling them I would like them to go to bed around 7 cause if they go earlier they wake earlier too and I don't think I can get up earlier than 7, considering that I will have had very little sleep.
Last night they both woke every 20 minutes from Midnight to 4 and then hourly till 7. I am dead!

Do you try to resettle them when they wake up early from a nap. My LO always woke up after 45mins. I always nurse her again and she'll mostly go back to sleep for another 45mins. Now, sometimes she won't need re-settling in the middle of her nap and will sleep continually for a couple of hours. Maybe if that last nap was a wee bit longer they could stay up a wee bit later. I've always had the same problem with LO though, if I put her to bed early she just treats it as a nap. I've given in trying to change it and now just put her to bed later. I really wish I could get her to bed earlier as I want my evenings back!

We had another terrible night with hourly wakings all night. I know they're 'supposed' to be able to go without food all night at this age but my LO has a pretty good feed every time she wakes. She's only gained 200g in the past 2 months and I feel like if she wasn't feeding at night she'd gain even less. How would she get all the calories she needs if she dropped her zillion night feeds?

 

[AngelUK]

Sorry you too had such a bad night!
200g in 2 months does sound like very little. I know my boys are large etc (though not off the chart in any way) but they usually put that on in two, three weeks! But if your doctor is happy with her weight then there is nothing to worry about I am sure?

I do try and resettle yeah but with varying success. I most often manage to get more sleep for the after lunch nap but often they want to be up and doing but then drop off again 45 minutes later and then wake for their bottle. And then everything goes out of whack even more. Cause that then leads to that dreaded 6pm nap which will restore Dominic so much that he will be up and doing till 9pm
Ah well, it will pass no doubt. But I know I would enjoy their babyhood so much more if I didn't have to constantly hope that they (or rather Dominic) would grow out of their current phase

 

[Casey3]

MrsHedgehog I wonder that too.. He'll appear to have a good feed every time he wakes.. He even had a good dinner last night and his sleep is worse than ever. Its 440 am and we've been up since 3, and before that he was up every 30 minutes since midnight-ish so I've had like no sleep. Getting him to sleep is the easy part, as long as he's with me and has a boob in his mouth he's good to sleep apart from a little while ago he must have been full because I set him down on the bed out of frustration and he fell asleep, which isn't unusual but when I made the transfer he woke instantly. Its not like I'm putting him in another room, his crib is 3 feet from my bed!

Ugh I swear he slept better as a newborn, those days seemed so easy now He's asleep on the boob now but still suckling in his sleep... Idk what's going to happen if he wakes after I move him... I need sleep! I want OHs help but I honesly have no clue what he can do, LO only knows how to fall asleep with me and I feel bad letting him cry too long because a) I hate hearing it and b) I don't want to wake my parents up too much...

I'm so awake now that I'm not even letting him see how frustrated I am. But this is going to suck tomorrow when I'm tired all day. Its amazing how much our body gets used to sleep deprevation lol

Sigh.

 

[Gemmamuk]

Alex slept terrible too last night. He went down at 6.45 and woke at 7 and I settle him straight back off. He woke again at 8, then 8.45, then 9.30, then 10. It then took an hour and a half to get him back off and we were in our bed by then. OH asked me to move him into his cot and he woke straight away and it then took till 1.45 to settle him, by which time I was on the floor crying with tiredness and frustration holding his hand in the cot. I went to bed and he woke every 45 mins to an hour and I gave up at 4 and brought him into our bed where he did sleep a little better

So tired this morning!

 

[chocolala]

Another one here who had a terrible night. Got Lily ready for bed at 8pm, she was asleep by 9 ish, but then woke every 20or so mins until around half 10, then I think it was hourly throughout the night and woke for the day at 6:40.

I feel ill. Her sleep had been improving, she had been waking only about 3 times, but last night was horrible.

 

[MrsHedgehog]

Alex slept terrible too last night. He went down at 6.45 and woke at 7 and I settle him straight back off. He woke again at 8, then 8.45, then 9.30, then 10. It then took an hour and a half to get him back off and we were in our bed by then. OH asked me to move him into his cot and he woke straight away and it then took till 1.45 to settle him, by which time I was on the floor crying with tiredness and frustration holding his hand in the cot. I went to bed and he woke every 45 mins to an hour and I gave up at 4 and brought him into our bed where he did sleep a little better

So tired this morning!

Can you not co-sleep for more of the night so at least you get a bit of a rest? If we didn't cosleep I wouldn't get any sleep at all. DH complains about it but I told him unless he wants to be the one up all night trying to settle LO in her cot then he'll have to put up with it.

 

[Gemmamuk]

My hv just rang to check on how DS was sleeping.
Can I just say.....arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I hate the bloody patronising old cow! :growlmad
So quick to judge and tell me everything I'm doing is wrong and it's my fault DS doesn't sleep! I'm too 'comforting' and need to leave my baby to scream every night until he's sick and disregard my poor neighbour who has to be up at 4am and Alex keeps awake.

The woman drives me crazy every time I speak to her and makes me feel like the worst mother in the world

Apparantly 'she's cracked' many a baby who refuses to sleep and it's because I'm too soft on him. Well I'm sorry but I don't want to leave my baby to cry so much until he vomits!